Rick Lee James walks through S.T.U.F., a framework for self-awareness from Matt Sanders's Chaplaincy: A Ministry of Presence. Sensations, Thoughts, Urges, and Feelings are the four elements. He uses it to manage chronic anxiety and argues that knowing yourself is how you stay present to God.
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Welcome back to Voices in My Head. As always, I am your host, Rick Lee James, and I am really grateful that you are here with me today. I hope you can hear me okay. I'm actually out on an early morning walk. It's currently 5:43. 5:43 in the morning. Been out here since about 5 walking and praying, and life is just really busy. Working two different jobs still, still in school even over the summer, getting ready to release a new single, recording a new music video tomorrow, plus all the stuff in the world. Just to timestamp this, yesterday The news everywhere was talking about former President Trump being convicted on all 34 counts. So everybody in the news is talking about that. Yet this morning as I walk, I have been in prayer about something I go to prayer about often, paying attention to my stuff. And I thought it might be a good idea to just talk about it briefly on the podcast because I have found this to be so helpful. Especially since I entered chaplaincy. It's probably been the most helpful thing— paying attention to your STUF. It's S-T-U-F: sensations, thoughts, urges, and feelings. We get so busy, so many things are happening in our lives, and it's very hard to be present not only to God but to self. And I I truly believe that being present to self is essential in order for us to be present to God. I first read about this concept in a book called Chaplaincy: A Ministry of Presence by my now friend Matt Sanders. He has become such a, just a beautiful friend to me. I never thought when I read his book that I would ever even know him in the first place. Place or even get to meet him, but to share encouraging messages from him and to be receiving them and to have his blessing to talk about things he wrote about, it's been pretty meaningful to me. And he writes about getting to know your stuff and the reason that it's important to pay attention to our sensations, thoughts, urges, and feelings is is that if we really are honest with what we are experiencing, we get to the real me. And the reason that's important in our relationship with God is that's the only person that God sees. God doesn't see the imposter. God doesn't see the person we would like to be. God doesn't see the person we pose as. So if we can become well acquainted with our sensations, Our thoughts, our urges, our feelings, they can tell us something about who we are and where we are, why we are experiencing, uh, where we are experiencing it in our bodies. Is there a tightness in our stomach? Uh, is our back hurting? Is there something in our shoulders? Heart palpitations? These things happen through the body. The body keeps— what is the book? The Body Keeps the Score. I can't remember the name of the book. Anyway, just something to think about today. When we talk about sensations, sensations are just that. Right now it's a little cool in the morning, so the coolness of the air on my hands, that's a sensation. It's possible for me to be out on this walk and not pay attention to that. It's possible for us to not pay attention to those sensations. Just think of your 5 senses, and those are sensations. It should be kind of like very elementary to us, but it isn't always, you know. When we are in an emotionally fraught place, have you ever noticed how your peanut butter loses its flavor, so to speak? Things taste different. You lose your appetite. These are sensations that you're experiencing based on an emotional place you're in. Your thoughts. Where do your thoughts go to? Where are your thoughts staying and dwelling? What's the reason behind that? Are there things that your thoughts should probably be moving on from? Asking a question, why can't I move on from that place? Why are my thoughts staying right there? The way we think is actually what drives us to action, to do things. We have to think about it first before we do it, even in good things, not just bad things or difficult things. We dream up something first and then we go out to create it. And then our urges, uh, these are Basic things. It can be hunger. If you're hungry, you have an urge to eat. If you're craving intimacy with someone, that is an urge that you have. There are all these urges that we experience, and we might want to take a look at that and ask, why am I having this urge? The reason I mentioned our appetites is because that's an easy one. When we're hungry, our urge is to eat. We want food because that's a need that's there. That's something we want. Some urges become disordered, and we need to have those urges examined. Why am I having an urge to do something destructive or to harm myself or to someone else? Um, I need to look into those urges. So something to think about. And then you're feeling are just that. And one of the most helpful things that I have found— I use this almost every day still after several years now, at least 2 years since I discovered it, probably more than that. I can't remember when I first found it, but the Wheel of Emotion. You can look online and find the Wheel of Emotions. Look at what you're feeling. Sometimes we don't have words for it. We aren't familiar with what these feelings are, but looking at the words and then what stems off from them into other emotions. It's very helpful. I always live out of a somewhat anxious place because we always have anxiety in life. It's just a part of being human. But how much anxiety? What kind of anxiety? These are things to pay attention to. This is a very important part. I always live out of a place of fear and inadequacy. I don't try to remain there, but I just know that that's where some of my anxiety is around. Almost daily when I look at that emotion wheel, I deal with the fact that I feel very inadequate as a person for everything. Even things I'm good at, sometimes I feel that way. And so I acknowledge that and I bring it to the table. But then all these things that we're feeling are all of our stuff. Think of them like this: all the emotions that we feel, the good, the bad, the ugly, things we like about ourselves, things we don't— think of them all as guests around a table. And the thing is We acknowledge them. They're there. They're a part of who we are. But no one guest gets to do all the talking. Unless maybe that guest is Grace. Maybe that guest is love. 'Cause that's another part of us too. So rather than just listening to that part of us that feels, in my case, inadequate every day, we can also listen to that part of us that feels proud too. The part of us that is spoken into our hearts by God that reminds us we are so deeply loved, more than words can express, more than even feelings can say, that we have infinite worth to the Father. And because of that, we can be confident and know if there's a voice we're gonna let do all the talking at the table, it should be that one. One, because that's the one we're hearing today. The kindness of the Lord that leads us to repentance. Maybe we need to do some repenting for, for only listening to those voices that tell us how inadequate we are. Amen. Well, it's all about being present to self so that we can be present to the presence capital P. And then in doing that, maybe we can actually be present to others, which is a more difficult thing on some days. And then finally, maybe help others to be present to the presence as well, which is hopefully what I'm doing through a podcast like this one. I hope it's been helpful to you. Maybe it's just for me. And that's okay too. But thank you for listening to Voices in My Head. Hope it wasn't too rambling, but this is just where my heart is these days. Keeps coming back to it again and again. God bless you all, and, uh, thank you so much for being here for another very short episode. God bless you today.
