Dishin' Dirt on Finally Breaking Through and Getting out of the Mighty Middle

This is Dish and Dirt with Gary Pickren, South Carolina's only podcast dedicated to the real estate agent craft. And now the host of Dish and Dirt, Gary Pickering.

Greetings and welcome back everyone to another episode of Dish and Dirt, the number one real estate podcast in South Carolina. Mind you, I'm your often opinionated but rarely wrong host, Gary Pickering, coming to you from the beautiful downtown Columbia, South Carolina offices of Blair Cato Pickering Casterline, this the second week of June 2025. So today I'm going to shift gears a little bit. We have spent several months doing what I call being Debbie Downer, talking about all kind of risk and liabilities of real estate agents. So today I wanted to have a little bit more uplifting episode as we hit this summer selling season. And so I wanted to bring in a guest today that could really get you motivated, thinking about how you can be the best version of yourself and how you can move into this busy real estate season ready to motivate yourself, really ready to grow and, and just learn what's holding you back. And so luckily I have the perfect guest for that. Rick Torresen is a transformational leader. He's a growth catalyst with over 25 years of experience in personal growth and team building. Certified Executive director of the John Maxwell team. He is qualified to facilitate, speak, train and coach individuals and groups in leadership development for professional skills and personal growth. Additionally, Rick specializes in communication, conflict resolution, training as a disc facilitator. Please don't tell me what my D I S C is. And In January of 2024 he published his first book, Born Limitless. It's going to be a great, it already is a great read. You're going to love it. Draws on experiences of his own self discovery, his own growth, empowering readers to crush limiting beliefs, hold them back. I had the fortunate benefit of meeting Rick at an EXP event and he is in fact one of the coaches of one of my very best friends, Braden Greer. So with all that being said, Rick, I have to say thank you very much for joining us today. Real happy to have you here and learning more about mindset.

Gary, I'm excited to be here man. It's a blessing and an honor and anytime I get to work with people in the real estate world in that area, I love it man, because these are a bunch of hungry people wanting to learn, grow and self improve and so there's not a better crowd to talk to.

Well, that's great. I had an opportunity to have a really good conversation with you at the Exp event. And no doubt as soon as I heard you, I was like, we need to bring this guy on because we really need kind of a mindset change in my opinion. So one of the things that you and I kind of touched that day on and I'd like to touch more on today is the public thinks that real estate's just this real easy job, that there's no risk in it. And people don't understand the amount of risk that somebody takes in becoming a real estate agent. And it's not just a financial risk, but you also have the risk of being sued, your reputational risk, risk of failure. What kind of self doubt and limiting beliefs enter into most real estate agents mind when they start becoming a real estate agent?

Well, it's interesting because you know, in the real estate world in that field and it's different across the country. So I'm in Houston, Texas. I coach really across the board in all industries. So I don't just coach realtors, but I do have multiple realtors that I coach. I was a success certified coach and helped train a lot of the exp coaches for a while when that was happening. Got to go to exp con and shared some, some great conversations there with people around the success coaching world. And you know, as you talk to realtors, it really, they're impacted greatly by the geography in which they live. That's one of the impacting factors. They're, they're impacted by the economy. There, there's so many things that are driving them and outside influences that are pressing in on people in real estate. They're, they're challenged by the market, they're challenged by economy, they're challenged by their own region and area that they're in, by their relationships. And you know, what I've found is some of the biggest challenges on the surface for people in real estate is their own belief system is, is gets in the way, their own mindset of man. This is too tough of a season. This is too difficult. The economy's too hard right now. You know, everything's downturning, it's slowing down. And right the minute we start those narratives, the minute we start the negative mindset or negative narrative, the negative stories that we begin to tell ourselves, you can pretty much cash it in because we've started this spiral, whether we know it or not, internally with our emotions, our physiology, our body, our energy begins to shift and we begin to buy into that narrative. Now it's not saying that there's, there's downturns and it's not saying that the market's hard and it's not saying, you know, that there's, you know, all the pressures and things.

Those.

Those are real. They exist. And I think in the realty world, you riding a roller coaster all the time. But we've seen this with the top producers, with the icons and exp. With, you know, as you call them, unicorns, right. Who succeed. There's something different about them that doesn't matter. The conditions of the environment, the world around them, the circumstances, economy, outside influences. They shift something internally and mentally that says instead of, I won't, I can't, I'm not, or I'll never, or this is hard, and I don't think I can do this, and I just have to wait, right? They shifted into this gear that says, you know, I can, I will, and I am. And their mindset then drives their beliefs, their beliefs then drive their actions, and their actions produce these results even in the hardest of times. And so, you know, I've really found that it's how we think. The words and narratives that we tell ourselves, either internally. Right. Or externally, we speak out loud, are going to drive our energy, shape our beliefs, and lead us to outcomes, good or bad.

Well, you just described my golf game to a perfect T. I mean, that's my golf game. I stand up over my ball on the tee box, and I'm already saying, this is going to be a snap hook into the woods. And lo and behold, it's a snap hook.

Or what do we say, Gary? That thing is because. Don't slice. Don't slice. Don't slice. What do we do? There's a reason for that, though. There's a physio, A psychology behind that. Our psychology doesn't understand don't slice. It only hears slice. And so our makeup is meant to reinforce our beliefs so it doesn't hear. Don't slice it here. Slice. So what do we do? We get up there and we slice, Right?

So you can't have a negative.

This is important for everybody and every. You can't have a negative goal as your desire. I don't want to be like, I don't ever want this. I don't want to fail at. I'm not going to. You can't have a negative destination desire. You might start there, but you gotta flip that thing. If I don't want to slice, then what do you want? I want to hit a perfect shot right down the middle, rolling right up within 50 yards of that green to where I'm going to chip up in two feet of the hole. I'm going to put that sucker in.

The hole, you know, and it may.

Not happen, but we have a better chance of it happening when we declare what we want, not what we don't want.

I mean, this is 100% true. I mean, not to get off on a golf tangent here, but I do think mindset, and golf is truly mindset in life. But you're right. When I am playing well, I step up to that tee and I'm like, I'm going to blister this ball right down the middle. And lo and behold, most of the time, it's going to be in this. It's going to be right in the fairway. When I'm not playing well, I get up there and go, you're probably going to duck, hook this into the water. This is going to be another lost ball. Here comes another stroke, and lo and behold, it does it. And so our attitude matters. It's got to be the same way in life.

Our attitude matters, right? It impacts our body language, impacts our emotion, impacts our feelings. It's so important you reminded me. I don't know if you guys get this commercial. Where you guys are from, there's a commercial, it's an insurance commercial, if it's progressive or some insurance commercial where the guy is walking around and she's about to tee off, and he's laying down by the head of the ball and says, slice. And she does, right? And then he's. He's getting in their heads like he's. He's challenging everything that they're doing and saying, brick. And the guy's shooting free throws, right? And he just bricks it, right? And he's talking about getting into the heads. It's about insurance, right? But it's this idea of I'm going to get in your head and I'm gonna get you off game, and then you're not going to be able to perform. And the minute we entertain that, it's not that we don't have those thoughts. It's crazy to think, well, I'll never have a negative thought or I won't worry about something, or I'm gonna, you know, not fear that I might not. Those are real. We're never gonna not have those emotions and feelings. The people that are different, the people that level up and succeed in the hardest times, are the ones that don't stay in those thoughts, right? Where they. They. They understand. This is a real emotion. It's a real feeling, but it's not true. That's what they tell themselves, this is a real feeling, but it's not true. And then they declare truth and then they pursue the truth.

Let's talk about that for a second. Cause that's very interesting. You know, we all know the big names in real estate, the Grant Cordon's, Tom Ferries, Chris Mashore, Gary Golds. Do they have limiting beliefs and they just overcome them or do they don't even let the limiting belief even enter their mind?

Yeah, I don't know. I can't really speak for them. This is in my journey with top producers, I'll be honest, I've never sat with someone at the level of Grant Cadone or any Ed Mylett or Joe Rogan or these guys that are out there at this high level. But I've sat with some pretty high level people and every single one of them have a story. Every single one of them have a time in their life where they wrestled with, am I enough? Can I actually do this? Every human I've ever met, I've never met one that said no. I've never had those thoughts. The issue is not that we have those thoughts. Every human is going to have struggle, challenge. We're going to have some doubts, we're going to have some fears, we're going to have some anxieties. Those are real. I mean, you would you listen to Kobe Bryant stories, right? And Michael Jordan stories. They will tell you their mind, right? They don't entertain failing, but they understand their desire to win is way greater than their fear of failure. And so any of the fears that come, any of the doubts that come, any of the challenges that come, they don't even bother to entertain them. They don't find space in their energy. They flip them, right? So I think everyone needs to understand there's not this perfect place where there's these humans that function without ever having limiting beliefs, doubts, fears, right, or stories that they've had to overcome. In fact, entrepreneurs, which a lot of realtors are really entrepreneurs, you know, in a way, all of them, the statistics say that they fail three to four times before they ever actually succeed. So the issue isn't failing or doubt or fear or limiting beliefs. The issue is what you can do with it. How you, how are you going to leverage it to your advantage? Are you going to let it leverage you to loss?

So in the real estate industry, as you know, because you're in it a lot, you've got this top 1% that seems to do the vast majority of the business and then we have this large Group of people we call the mighty middle, which is they do maybe one deal a month. And I don't think the mighty middle, stuck in the mighty middle because of a lack of commitment or lack of effort. Is it the mindset that I can do more that you think that's limiting them from taking that step from mighty middle? Because it seems to be once you get caught in that mighty middle for a long time, it's very difficult to get out of it.

That's a great, great question. And I can only tell you what I've experienced in about 20 years of working with people across industries who are. Who are very successful, but they've settled in. There's a couple of things I would say with that. The first is sometimes, and this is the side that I don't deal with when I coach Realtors, because I am not a real estate coach. In other words, I don't coach to systems and processes and procedures of real estate. I don't coach to the workings of what you do. I coach to the human. Of who you are. And that's the mindset and beliefs of a person. That's why I can coach people in any industry. And what I've discovered is typically people who are stuck in that middle, they're stuck in achieving, doing fairly well, but not seeming to ever break through to that next level, whatever that next level is for them. And this is at every level, there's always another level that we can break through, right? So the question is, what do you need? You need the right systems and processes, the right relationship, you need all that, but you can have all that. If you don't have this, then I think this is where it breaks down. And what happens is we find ourselves in these places over time where we have settled in first for something less than what we're truly capable of. And over time, what we do is we begin to call this normal. We begin to say, this is the best I can do. This is all it's ever been. This has always been my ceiling, right? And somewhere in there, what I'll tell you, we don't have time to go into it, but those statements were birthed from a limiting belief somewhere that got spoken over them or that they received or an experience they had based on how they interpreted that experience, they began to define their situation as normal. This is what I do. I'm not very good at this. I'm better at this. So this is how it's always been. And then they've got these stories and testimonies that reinforce it. And if you go back to what I said from the very beginning, what happens is when we say, you know, I'm not very good at this, or this is as good as it is. When we tell ourselves that, we rise to the level of our belief. And so then we continually cycle through reinforcing that outcome. So now we're telling ourselves, well, see, look, I've got these years of stories of this being true, so it must be true. The problem is we then call it normal. And the minute we start calling something normal, we stop challenging it and we start settling for something less than. So the first thing people have to do who are stuck in that middle is they've got to challenge normal. They've got to really look at, ask themselves, is this normal? Is what I'm believing about my ability, my capability, my understanding? All these stories that I tell myself, are they really true? They may be. I don't know. 95% of the time in my relationships, coaching people through this, they start asking these questions, is my normal normal? And when they start asking them and the beliefs behind it, they realize, no, I've just believed that, but it's not true. So then what do we do? So you have to challenge normal as the first thing. The second thing people have to do to break through. You can't just challenge normal. What are you going to do when you realize, maybe this isn't my normal? That's usually what I start with, is, hey, what if the normal you're living in, all those people in the mid level that are listening right now been wanting to break through. What if you guys just challenged normal? What if the normal you're living in that you're calling normal isn't normal? See, if it is, no loss. But what if it isn't? Are you willing to challenge it? And if they say, yes, I'm willing to challenge it. Man, we can go, we can get a lot done. So you got to challenge normal. Second thing they've got to do is they got to. Then once they challenge it and realize it's not normal, I'm believing some lies about my ability, my worth, my value, my cake. You know, all these things we have to then reframe the story. See, because the beliefs we have came from a narrative we told ourselves. This happened. Here's the story that I'm telling myself. The narrative, this story that I tell myself becomes a belief. This belief becomes my behaviors. Because our behaviors will always align with our beliefs. So our beliefs drive our behaviors. Our behaviors get an outcome which is middle of the Pack. So I got to challenge normal, realize, hey, these are lies. They're not true. Reframe the story. What is true? I can break through. I can sell X number of homes. I can have so many, right? Whatever it is, make new. So we reframe the story. The last thing, the third thing you've got to do is you got to then make new declarations. See, I believe that our words have power, and we're committed to what we confess. So not just what we think, which matters greatly, but when the words we speak out have energy. So we've got to challenge normal, reframe the story. That reframe now needs to be our new declarations. This is where we talk about, I will, I can, and I am. I wear this bracelet. My book is about this. Limiting beliefs. I wear this bracelet. This bracelet says I will. I don't know if they can see it. I will, I can. I am. Anytime I have doubt, fear, challenge myself, start thinking I can't. I listen to my language and my words, and I realize, man, I'm spiraling a little bit. I grab this bracelet and I just begin to. I can, I will, and I am Idea of I can, I will, I am. What's really important about it is I can is a statement of potential. We're declaring to ourself our ability. I will is a statement of action. What we're going to do. I am is a statement of identity. We now own this truth. So they're very powerful declarations of anything in your life. I will, I can, and I am. And each of them are strong declarations that we're speaking to ourselves. Our energy changes. All of you guys that are listening. If you sit here and just go through a thing and say, you know, I'm not very good at. I can't do this. Just begin to speak this over yourself out loud while you're sitting here right now. I promise you, your shoulders will slump, you'll lean over, and you won't even recognize yourself because that energy is heavy. And then I tell people, now make a different declaration. I can, I will, I am, I can't accomplish X, I am capable of I will do Y. And you find yourself the energy moving because your body is responding to the message that you're thinking and speaking. Now, there's a lot more to this stuff, and sometimes it's not quite this easy, but to me, this is the breakthrough. Right here is understanding this process. Challenge normal, reframe the story, make new declarations, and keep I will, I can. I am in Your vocabulary.

I. So the top 1 percenters in real estate are in any industry. Are these people born this way or is this something that you've had, you know, people like you coach them in that. How. How does one get this way? For me, it just seems like if you're a top 1 percenter in baseball or real estate or whatever, you're just born driven. But that's not necessarily the case.

Yeah, I don't think so. Yes, I think there. So there is basic talent. If you look in athletics, there are basic talent people that just are gifted in their talents, their skill level, their physical capacity, all of that 100%. There is a gifting, but there. And I've read books. Isaiah Thomas talked about this. And I played basketball in high school, a little bit in college, you know, a long time ago. But the guys I followed, the guys I watched, you know, when they start talking about their story in street ball and playing in New York or playing in Chicago and the different places that they would play, they would talk about these guys they played against or far superior in talent than anyone on the court who. Whose names you'll never know and who never made it out of plane, right? So what's the difference? What gets that same person, same neighborhood, same environment to be able to get out of that environment and move? There's something internal in them that they made a choice that this is not my normal. This is not my life. This is not the end of my story. Somewhere in there, they came to a crossroads and they had to say, I'm not accepting this. Right? I'm not going to allow this to define me. And when we do that, we begin to shift our energy, our focus, our attention, our drive, our relationships and all of that. If you look at these top 1 percenters and you listen to their stories, a lot of them started in poverty, started in challenge, started in loss, you know, so they don't have this silver spoon story from birth. Some do, but 99% of the ones I've ever talked to didn't. Somewhere along the line, they had to flip a switch and make a choice. Now, I'm not saying this choice is easy, but I think we all have the opportunity to make a choice. And I could go into more about what causes us not to, but it goes back to the same thing, beliefs that we have. Well, you don't understand where I grew up, Rick, you don't understand. It was a single mom and my mom was gone, and I was a latchkey kid. And you don't understand this. And I was abused as this. And. And all of a sudden we make excuses for us and we begin to allow the circumstances, environment, world around us and other people define our value, worth and identity. And they were never meant to.

I mean, as the old saying goes, everybody has a cross to bear, and nobody knows what your cross is. And, you know, it's one of the things that I think does limit people is woe is me. You didn't have this. But they. And it's been interesting. I watch people will say these things, and I'm like, the person you're talking to had it worse than you and look at where they are, but they don't even recognize that the person they're woe is me to might have had it worse. So, you know, one of the problems. And this is where I really want to get an answer to this, because this is me. You know, I am typically pessimistic by nature. At the same time, I'm very optimistic. It's very weird, though. I'll be in a meeting with my partners, and they're like you. You can be pessimistic and optimistic on. On an item we're talking about at the same time. It's amazing how I can do that. Real estate sales is very up and down. You know that. And agents coming out of real estate school typically start out very strong because they have a couple of friends they can work with right out the gate. And then all of a sudden, their experience goes from, wow, this is easy. I can do this to now I got to get out and cold call now I got to work that circle of influence. Now I got to talk to my friends about referrals. And it seems. It takes a step back. And in some ways, I feel like real estate breeds this problem that I can. I will, I am, and I'm doing it. And then all of a sudden, after two good months, I'm taking a huge step back. How do we stop this slide and keep that maintained that. Because I imagine the people you work with at some point, really high on it, and we're doing it, and then something negative happens and they backslide.

That's a good. A great question. Right. And I think we overcomplicate this whole process. It's the same answer. I think the scenario you just created and you just said about yourself. Right. Or others. It's all of us. We all have wins and losses. We're rocking it and we're challenged. Right? It's that. That is everyone's story. It's part of all of our Life experiences. There isn't anyone devoid of the rollercoaster. Right. So that's not the issue we get so locked in on. Well, this time, and I started good, and then I faded, and then this. Well, what's the source of all of it? What do we truly believe about ourself and our identity? You made a declaration when you started out with what you were just saying about an identity statement. I am pessimistic, and I am also optimistic by nature. I would say one of those has to win. So one of those is your true identity. The other one is. The other one is a false identity that we try to portray. I don't know which is which, but typically, And I'm not going to psychoanalyze you, Gary, but typically, that first one, I'm a pessimist trying to be an optimist, so I'll try to be optimist, but typically, I'm always the pessimist of the foundation I'm standing on. The optimist is the idea I want. And sometimes I win as an optimist if things are going well. Right. But optimists have this thing, you know, if you're. If your foundation is optimistic, it doesn't matter the challenge. You're always going to see the opportunity to win, to excel. If your foundation is a pessimist, then you're going to run pessimism through the optimism. So then when optimistic gets hit by challenges, doubt, fear, things don't seem to work out. Instead of pushing through because we're optimistic, we revert back to that core source that. That we really are. So this is. So again, what's the solution? Just owning and understanding? No, I have identified myself. So if I was working with you, Gary, I'd say, okay, you made a declaration, an I am declaration. I am a pessimist. Right. So first thing I say, okay, is that true? Now? You're going to say yes, because look at my experience. I always kind of look at things from the negative. I'm going to say, okay, when did you first start becoming a pessimist? What's the story behind being a pessimist? Because there had to be lost somewhere. There had to be this place of defeat, this place of working really hard. I'm gonna go after this. Somewhere in your life, and you didn't. And you tried it again, and you didn't. And somewhere you just got tired and said, you know what? Doesn't matter how hard I try, I'm only gonna win one out of 50 times. You know, that's just Kind of how this thing works. No matter what I do, no matter my relationships, no matter what company I'm with, no matter this is just how it always seems to end up. We didn't start there, but once we start saying that now we own it. Now we're going to act in a way to reinforce it. So I would take you to your source. When did you first start feeling, man, when did you start owning this idea of being a pessimist? And we don't have time to. That's what I would walk through. Right. And so where was that source experience that you started having that said? Man, this is really hard. And in it, I'm not very good at this. Ultimately I work really hard and sometimes I win. So when did you first remember, start saying that and what was the story you were telling yourself then? I would ask you now, Gary, tell me, is that story you told yourself based on the truth or a lie? Is it a perception of what you experienced right now that the experience wasn't real? Because you probably did struggle, you probably didn't succeed in some things. But how you defined yourself from that, your ability from those failures. Because what we do is we self identify our identity through the trauma, the experience, the loss. I must not be then as opposed to saying that this is what happened, but it's not my identity. But when we start identifying ourselves as the loss, this failure, the lack of success, and now we start identifying that way, that's a lie. We are not those things. We're experiencing them. So that's where you have to shift it. So you challenge normal. Identify the narrative, change it, and I'll make a new declaration. I'm not a pessimist, right? I believe I can accomplish anything. I believe anything I put my mind to, I can win. I believe every loss is actually a step towards a victory. Now they'll sound kind of corny. People are like, oh, yeah, but it's not true. No, no, no, it's not true. Because you don't consistently begin to make those declarations. Because over time, your body, your physiology, your mind, will and emotions have to align with what you're declaring and what you're believing. So if you start making these declarations and believing them, your behaviors will begin to shift because your behaviors have to line up with your beliefs. You cannot act in a way that you don't believe you can do it for a little while. I'm a strong willed person. I can will myself. Behavior modification. I can change my behaviors for a time. When life happens and I get Punched in the gut. Where do I go? Back to the old beliefs. Right. And so we've got to change the belief if we ultimately want to change an outcome. A lot. But it seems kind of ethereal or way out, like, oh, it sounds. It's not simple. It is simple, but it's not easy. Let me put it that way.

And it doesn't help that I root for the Cleveland Browns. So that kind of just.

That may be your source of trauma. We may have to do some laying on the hands and some therapy here for some healing. Listen, but here, here's your freedom. I'm going to break you through this. I grew up in the Chicago Bears and Chicago Bulls era. When I was a youth, there was no wins. There was. It's the Cubs and the Bears and the Bulls. What has happened? They all eventually, I remember in 84, right, the Chicago Bears, you know, Super Bowl. I remember the Bulls shift to championship. And then I'm an Astros fan, but when the Cubs won and I'm in Houston, I am. I'm outside in my yard in the middle of night when we won that World Series and I'm dancing in the streets. I'm the only one out there. People think I'm crazy and I'm just having a good old time.

Well, people that root for the Browns are probably the most optimistic and pessimistic people because during the season we're pessimistic. Everything's going to happen bad during the off season. We're number one. We're going to be the greatest team next year. It's all going to change next year. So it's a, it's a changing thing.

But I'm excited for you guys right now. I don't spend time there, but I'm actually a Shadour fan and, and I believe he's got what it takes inside of him to. But that's a different story. I know that's polarizing. Let's leave that alone.

So my. As we wrap this up today, it seems to me that the first place anybody needs to. To get to here is a self evaluation. If we can sit and challenge the norm, we can sit down by ourselves one weekend in the quiet without people being around us. Just take that minute to think about it and analyze ourselves, challenge ourselves. What is my mindset? Why do I have this mindset? Where did this, where did this mindset come from? Then we can get ourselves at least on the right track. So is that our homework for today?

So I'll give you this homework because the minute I say this for the next 48 to 72 hours, everyone listening is going to be in tune to this. Pay attention to your words. If you want, you're going, I don't know what my limiting beliefs are. I understand that we don't think about them, so they're not front and center, but we all have them. Here's the thing you need to understand. You could be killing it in one area, have limiting beliefs in another. A limiting belief doesn't mean your whole life is. It just means there's an area you've kind of given up on and said, I'm no good there. If you want to find out where your limiting beliefs are, pay attention to your language. When people ask you, hey, do you want to. Can you. Should we look for things like, I can't, I'm not. I'm never. Those are really important words. Key into that when you say you can't do something or you identify yourself like you did. I heard it right away. I am a pessimist. You just identified it a negative thing. So right now, you guys are all going to have this in tune. Next 48, 72 hours, you're going to pay attention, have a notebook. And whatever you say after the negative statement, write it down because that's going to give way to a potential limiting belief. The other thing I will tell you is pay attention to the word but. But is one of the most powerful words to expose limiting beliefs. Because the word but there now, and I said this at that talk, there's good buts and there's bad buts. Okay, I'm just gonna leave that there. Y' all can figure that out. But the bad buts, typically, what happens when we use the word but that exposes a limiting belief. Because everything before the word but. Yeah, I'd love to. I think I'd want to. Let's do. We can do this. But the minute you say but, you're disqualifying everything you said before and you're not really believing it. So everything you said before the word but, you're basically saying, I don't really believe it. It sounds good, but let me tell you the truth of what I do believe. What I can do, what my excuses are, how I'm going to justify it. So listen for the word but. Okay, that's another one. Now, there's good buts. Like when I say, man, I'm not very good at this, but I am going to conquer and overcome. So that's a good but. Because you are negating what you're not good at declaring what you are good at, but that's not typically how we use that word. The other homework I would give you, if you know a unicorn, if you know a 1%er, if you know an icon, I want you to go sit down and take them to lunch, and I want you to ask them some questions. Not how'd you get so famous and good and awesome and amazing. Tell me about your failures. Tell me where you blew it. Tell me how many times you lost. Right. And how did you approach those things? Because if they're a 1%er, an icon, a unicorn, a goat, whatever you want to call them, I promise you, they got losses. And what you want to learn is not what they're doing up here, but what they did when it was hard. Tell them to tell you about a time when it was hard that you had to overcome. What did that look like? That's going to be where the magic, the secret sauce is. Because, hey, what's your system? What's your process? What's your CRM? How many calls are you making? Great. But those are things anybody can do. Those are behaviors and systems and process. Gotta have good ones. You gotta be committed. But if you don't have the in here and in here, the heart and the head worked out, doesn't matter how many calls you make. That one no is gonna turn you off. That last, you know, it's just not there. So ask Those goats, those 1 percenters, those unicorns, about their failures and what they've had to overcome. That's where you're gonna learn the magic.

Well, you. This has been very interesting. It's almost like going to church and the minister says something that kind of hits you, and you're like, ugh, I didn't really want to hear that. And then you go home for the next two days and think, can we pass the plate?

Is it too late to pass the plate?

Offering plate. Yeah. And I think that's what we are today. Because I can already tell you, like you said, the next 48 hours, 72 hours. I've been sitting here the whole time you're talking subconsciously thinking about the things that I consider my mindset flaws. I'm sitting here thinking, I'm pessimistic. That's one of the things I have. I'm always waiting for that next shoe to drop, you know, okay, it's going great now, but next month's gonna suck, you know, I mean, just this month, we had our best month we ever had in the month of May. It Was a tremendously good month. I told my wife about how good the month was. I said, yeah, but June's probably gonna suck. See?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you hear what you just said? Yeah, but if people will just catch that, that's powerful. Because you're like, wait a minute, I just negated that. I need to reframe this story and make a new declaration. I mean, it's so powerful what we get.

It could have been the butt is May was good, but June's gonna be even better.

There you go.

It should have been.

That becomes the good butts. Right?

Tell us real quickly about your book, how people can find it and how they can follow you.

Yeah, man, absolutely. I appreciate that opportunity. You know, this is my first book that I wrote. Here's the thing about books. I don't know if it's a good book. What I mean by that is I don't know if it's a good read. Right. I know the content is good, the stories are good, the frameworks are good. It's my story. It's called Born Limitless. You can get it on any of the platforms. So that's. It's on Amazon. It's all over the place. And it made it a bestseller. So it's a USA Day bestseller. Here's. I'm going to let the secret out for all of you that are listening, that want to write a book. A bestseller has nothing to do with the quality of the book. It has everything to do with how many books you sell. So I was able to get all my friends to buy a lot of books that got me on a bestsellers before anyone ever read it. So I believe it's a good book. The feedback I've gotten is great. It's my story. It's simple. It's an easy read. You know, here's the book, Born Limitless, thin book. You can read it in a couple hours. It's all about the framework, the story, my stories of where I had to recognize and overcome limiting beliefs. So that would be great if you want to go pick up the book. Awesome. If I can come. I do keynotes and speaking around that. Right now, I'm really trying to speak life into people to help them get from where they are to where they want to be. And typically, high achievers, they're already excelling, but there's that one thing that they just haven't identified that's keeping them from that next level. And we all have a next level. So if I can do that, if you go to my website, ricktorson.com you can see my speaking stuff and my leadership and the communication things that I do there. Coaching. I would love to talk to you about that so you can. You can follow me there on all the social platforms. It's just my name, Rick Torresen as well, so. But I'd love to hear from you and if I can serve you guys or answer any questions or help you with your teams, man, I'd love to do that. So thank you for the opportunity.

Gary, Rick, we really appreciate you being here. And guys, I told you it was gonna be a little bit more uplifting than the Debbie Downer podcast we've done. And Rick is such a wonderful guy. He really is. He's just a wonderful person. He's wonderful to talk to. I could go on for four hours doing this podcast. We got 30 minutes. We got four hours worth of material. So thank you so much, y'. All. Please come back next week again. See us for another episode edition Dirt. Don't forget to tell your friends about it. Like us. Share us and subscribe. You all have a great weekend and we'll see you next week with another episode of Dishes.