3 Powerful Life Lessons on Mental Health, Mindset & Motherhood | Siddhi's Heartfelt Speech

So the next person I want to introduce is my soul sister, our very own, very sweet Riddhi Deorah. I want everyone to sit because now I'm going to complain about Riddhi Deorah. I wish, I wish you guys had popcorn because this is going to be entertaining. Your so serious mentor has another side to her. Yeah, so I had prepared something very different that I will cry, I'll feel emotional. I will say good things about her, but I think Aruna Aunty has already done that. Like, I don't think you'll be able to take so many compliments anymore. Riddhi, I think Aruna Aunty has done our bit. So now it's my turn to tell you guys that Riddhi is— she's, of course, she's your mentor, she's your guru, she's— we all respect her and everything. But she is just another human being who has, who has her another side to her, which is, I think, which very few people know of. But I want to disclose it today. She is Jhavaralu number one. She fights with everyone. Okay? And my father will agree. Mummy is not agreeing. She only sees the good in her. Okay? No, no, jokes aside, jokes aside. I think all siblings have that happy chirpy fight and husband and wife and mother and child, we all deserve to have that different kind of argument or banter, because that is what actually helps the relationship grow. You know, everything sweet and everything like perfect, that means there is no reality in that relationship. That means it's a fake relationship. That is how we behave with our neighbors. We don't want to, we don't want to really work on that relationship, so we don't really put across our real feelings forward. But with our husbands— with our husbands, nay, husband, husband, not husbands— with our husband, we just, you know, put across the real feeling because we want that relationship to actually grow and that person to actually become the best version. So, you know, this is what Riddhi Deorah has been doing with you all. She is helping you all understand that you don't have to be perfect, you don't have to allow yourself to feel less because, you know, one day you have scolded someone or one day you are not— or someone is not behaving perfectly with you. It's all part of the relationship becoming stronger, the relationship growing, and basically learning. So, you know, it's her motto, lifelong learners. And this is what actually really makes a massive difference in our own life. So thanks, Riddhi, for bringing this whole concept of learning into mother's life when they are actually focusing on the learning of their children. We tend to forget ourselves. We tend to forget ourselves in the whole, you know, that journey of I want to put my child into a school, send him to a tuition or like a hobby. We tend to forget ourselves, but then we are also kids. Just because we are grown up, we have a child of our own, that does not mean that we are no— we are not children anymore, or for our parents we are still, you know, we are still children. So we have to keep investing in our own learning regularly to actually become the best role model for our children. No matter which school, best education, best classes you put your child in, he will not learn as much the amount that he will learn by just noticing you all investing in yourself. So this is the best thing that you all have done by becoming a part of a community that promotes learning, promotes spirituality, promotes togetherness, love, energy so much. I think you people have done the— taken the best decision of your life. Thank you, Riddhi, for actually creating this space for women to come together and hold hands and not feel alone in a world where even families might make you feel alone. You never know what a person is going through. So, you know, thank you for doing this for them.

Thank you.

And now I want to Because I had a few things in mind, because Riddhi told me in the morning I have to come and speak, so I had nothing prepared as such. But I think 3 things that has actually touched my life, or 3 realizations I might say, because all of us, all of us go through our own ups and downs in our life. It's not like— it's like no one's life is perfect. It might look like that she's living the most amazing life. She has a big car, big house, servants, drivers. But we all fight our own little battle. And, you know, those battles really change our whole dynamic of our life. And this is exactly what happened to me in 2023. I was married in 2013. 10 years till 2023, my life was like a fairy tale. Everything was perfect, proper, no problem. Married into a beautiful family, okay? But 2023, a few things started shifting. It's very personal, I will not say exactly what, but it was to do with mental health. Our very close family member was going through mental health issues. And that is when, you know, and that family member had to start taking medication, start therapy, counseling. And when I was watching that person go through that so closely and trying to battle mental health, you know, I, I just had 3 very deep realizations. Those 3 realizations I want to share with all of you. Because mental health is a subject that is not spoken of much because it is still considered a taboo. But I'm sure, like, in Riddhi's community, women have come, they have fought their own battles. Mental health is no different than physical health issues. And I want to tell you these 3 depriorizations because these 3 depriorizations made sure that I don't get into the same mental health problem that the other person is facing in my life. Because it is very easy when a very close loved one is going through issues, you also tend to go into that dark circle with them. Because you love that person so much, you can't see them hurt. You also start feeling lost in that journey. And watching someone so close to me go through that, and that too on a very high degree of mental health issue, and then me not getting affected because I had few principles in place, few logics in place. I want to share that with you all so that bhagwan na kare, if you ever have— anyone has to face that issue in the family or surrounding friend circle, you can have these 3 guidelines with you or 3 support systems. So the first one is called Perception. The concept of perception works like you have to— actually, I'll— actually, I had prepared something else, but I'll tell you, I'll tell you a story to understand the concept of perception, and it is applicable to all of you. Basically, there was this one person who was walking on the road, okay, and he reached a construction site. When he was on the construction site, He asked one of the person who was working over there that, "Bhaiya, what are you doing? Why are you cutting? What are you doing exactly?" So he's like, "Nothing, I'm just chopping the stones. I'm just cutting whatever is here." And he was very like sad and he was like, "Bhagwan," like that negative energy was there in that person. Then he walked to another construction worker and he asked that person, "What are you doing here in this construction site?" And that person said that, "I am earning a living, or a way— I'm earning wages for my family. I'm earning for a good life, or like for my child's education." So he at least had that mindset that he is earning for someone, and it was better than the first answer that he got. And then the person went to a third person working on the same construction site, And he asked him, "What are you doing over here?" And that person said, "I am building a temple, temple for God, temple for people who will come and visit here, sit here, feel connected to the divine, and I'm helping God in God's mission." So what are the three? That person, the third person, knew the higher purpose. Everyone had a purpose, but the third person knew the exact purpose that he was on Earth for. We are not on Earth just to earn a living. We are not on Earth to just while away our time. We are given this human body to fulfill a higher purpose. And once you know this, once you know that you are born for a higher purpose, you are going to be actually in the most divine mental space. And that story really touched me because I realized that I am also here for a purpose. I am here not to just, you know, see someone and feel hurt or feel bad and go into the dark hole myself. I am here to help this person come out of it. That is what differentiates me from him right now. And I did help him. I did help him come out of it. By God's grace, he is doing much, much better. So this was my first realization that I have a purpose, and the purpose is to help others, help others around me, okay? The second point, or the second realization, was I understood the concept of spotlight effect. Now, this concept is very important for all of you. Because all of you are on a journey of entering public light, or maybe opening your own Insta page, making a reel video and uploading it. So, you know, spotlight effect ka matlab kya hota hai? It means that psychologically we start feeling that other people around us think about us, even though maybe they are not. They are all busy in their own life problems. They are all busy solving their own issues. But we, because we feel the spotlight is on us, we start feeling that they are thinking about us. And that stops us from going out, from uploading, from opening an Insta page, from taking up a course, or just, like, just speaking. We don't speak what we feel because we feel that what the other person might be thinking. So this spotlight effect has to go away. And how will it go away is only when you know that this effect exists. Half the people don't know that spotlight effect exists, and that is why they are always in a cocoon. They are feeling things which they are not supposed to feel actually. So I request all you wonderful, beautiful ladies out here, to never feel that negative spotlight is on you. Even if you want to feel, feel that people have good things about you to think. At the end of the day, you are assuming. At the end of the day, it's an assumption. You— we, maximum of us, assume what others are thinking. It's not the reality. And the funny thing is, they are not assuming anything. They are not. It's in our own head, our own inner voice. So please get over that assumption. So this is what exactly I did. I stopped thinking about what others are thinking about my family dynamics. Ki loke ya sochin ge, mere ghar mein mental health kyu ho gaya? Am I not a good partner or a relationship or a mother? What others are thinking. It was my battle, my journey. I will fight it without thinking about what others are assuming. Okay? So this will give you a lot of strength and courage to fight a lot of things. Small example, because all of you are mothers, sometimes we feel if our child is not performing well, what will XYZ person think?

Please stop caring. Please stop caring.

They don't care for more than a minute. Even if they are passing a comment, it's for a minute. Why will you impact your child's mental health because of that 1-minute comment or 1-second thought process? Please don't do that to your child. No child deserves it. Because I was a mediocre student and Riddhi was a, like a, always like 80+ or like a gift card holder in our school, my mother for once never made me feel less. So, hats off to you, mommy. I really can't thank you enough because you don't know what you've done. I was in the audience always and Riddhi was on the stage.

And I used to feel nothing because my mom used to not make me feel less ever, ever.

I used to feel happier.

I'm sitting with her.

In fact, you are a wonder woman, mommy. You don't know what you've done to me.

I am what I am because of you. The confidence I have, everything, it is because of you.

You never for once made me feel that I am less.

And the third and the fun point that I will like to put across, which is the last thing, When you are, like, in a situation in life in which you need release, you want to come out of it without being broken down, please make note of this, and I'm not kidding. It is not something tough. It is actually a gift to yourself. And it is the gift of what is called having a hobby. Please have a hobby. Every woman, every man deserves to understand the importance of having a hobby. Now, when I talk about hobby, I don't just mean just whiling away time looking at Instagram or watching television or reading a few pages of a book. It's not hobby. Hobby means you're serious about a skill, about a skill development which is other than your professional skill. From which you're not earning a livelihood. So when I tell you maximum brain growth or rejuvenation happens only when you are doing a hobby, and this is a Harvard study, I'm not just saying it randomly because I experienced it, I'm saying it because there was a Harvard study in which 776 Nobel Prize winners were studied deeply And one common link amongst all the Nobel Prize winners was that they had a serious hobby. So, when you have a serious hobby like learning how to sing, call a singing teacher, painting, anything like just basketball, badminton, cycling, anything, those half an hour that you spend on your hobby, especially on tough days, it is what is going to get you out of the anxiety.

The anxiety that you feel about how the future will be, past mein kya ho gaya hai. The only thing that helps you stay in the present, in the moment, is a hobby. And you can try it for yourself, girls, I'm telling you. Painting was mine. Painting changed my life. It gave me the strength to stay in the moment. And I'm sure each one of you Please stop like just finding hobbies for your children. Please, it's high time you all start looking for hobbies for yourself too. Please let the child in you stay awake. Please let the child in you be there so that you can have your own hobby or kids can have their own hobby and life will flourish. Okay, so these are the 3 big takeaways. And last, I would like to just end To end my, I'll not say speech, but conversation which I had with you girls, is like, I want to say thank you to all the Sukoon moms. I don't know how many of you are here. My Sukoon family, the family that Riddhi gave me, after 3 years of pushing me, "Kissidi, why don't you teach? Why don't you teach for an hour?" Finally, one day she told me, "I'll slap you if you don't teach." I swear she did on the phone. She's like, I'll slap you if you don't start taking classes. And I was like, acha, chapp tai maghe. Now I have to start. Now I have to start. So thank you, Riddhi, for Sukoon. It means everything to me. It is everything.

We're feeling so bright, hearts beating loud. We're owning the night, no more doubt. We're ready to shine, this is our moment. The stars align, we feel the beat down to our feet. Moving together, strong and complete. This is our moment, we rise, we shine.