Divine Download Of Parenting - Bootcamp Day 1

It's going to take 30 seconds. All right, all right, we are live on YouTube. Just minute. So I want you to be fully present. How many of you have turned on your camera? Put me. And those of you who've not turned on your camera, please turn on. And some of you, this is extra special category: camera on, person missing. So this category, I don't understand, seriously. I'm seeing some fan I'm seeing a ceiling. I see your ceiling. So in some cases I see a bulb. Priya Paraman, I'm seeing your bulb. This, this we cannot do, okay? So keep your camera on and your face should also be visible, okay? You're cooking, all right. So sweet. So full presence required. Then no multitasking. Try not to multitask. If you have to, I can understand because you are mothers, you have to so manage so many things. Fourth, please take notes, but smart notes. Don't try to write every word that I'm speaking because how many of you understand my speaking speed and your writing speed cannot match unless you're taking digital notes with some AI or something. So please do not Uh, try to, try to write everything. Participation, which means in the chat, I would love all of you to participate very, very actively. Also, one other thing, please do not— I have asked Urvvi to make notes, so she's going to make notes and put it in the chat, and I've taught her how to put the notes in the chat. So I don't want anybody else to write anything else in the chat. I don't want any AI images. I don't want anybody else to put the notes of what I am sharing. If this is okay with everybody, put okay in the chat box. Priya, ma'am, can you please tell us more about Platinum? Okay, all of you want to know more about Platinum, but right now there is so much to cover. So if I have time in the end, which I really doubt I will, so the best thing you can do if you want to know more about Platinum is please fill out the form. Okay, so the form that Kinjal has put— I'm going to close the chat. You please fill out this form. You can connect with your leader, super coaches, and they can tell you if that's okay. Do this to me if that's okay, because if I get started with that, it's going to take a lot of time, and today my focus is to do the boot camp. Day 3, anyway, I'm going to tell you about Platina. And fill out the form, that's the best thing, so that on day 3 you can make a more informed decision. Day 3, you will decide. Uh, days, uh, 3. Yeah, so these are things that you should know. Now, how many of you are ready to start? If you're ready to start, put R for— oh, chat, put R for ready. And let me ask you a very simple question: how many of you feel completely in control of your emotions at home? Every single day? If you feel, put yes. If you don't feel, put no. Mostly no. Some of you are putting yes, but most of us are putting no. So thank you for your honesty. And those of you putting yes, fantastic. I am definitely in the no category. Not all the time, for sure. Sometimes I'm not able to. If your child described you in 3 words today, who would you feel proud— would you feel proud or would you feel worried? If you would feel proud, put P for proud. Worried, put W. So we have a mix: proud, worried, proud, worried. Great. And are you leading your life or you're just surviving it? Put L if you're leading, put S if you're surviving. This is just for you to get some awareness of where you are right now, not to make anybody feel bad or worried. Don't worry, that's the whole point of learning, right? To help, help us get out of whatever we are in. Also, one other thing, in the boot camp I'm not going to share my PPT very frequently. Only reason, when I start sharing PPT and talk, then mothers will be like, ma'am, picture, slide, So for that reason, I'm going to talk without the PPT, and then I'm going to show you the summary slide, and you can take a screenshot. If that's okay, put okay. And also, my mentors taught me something. They said, don't give the PPT on day 1, give it on day 3. So those of you, just to make sure that your chipko to me till day 3, you will get the PPT if you stay with me till day 3, right? So those of you who stay till day 3, till the end of day 3, last minute, how many of you think that you're going to be that fantastic student? Put FS in the chat box that I'm going to be that fantastic student. And you know, you don't just do it for the PPT, do it for your learning, do it for your growth, do it for your child. Right? Amazing. So now I'm going to share my story, and this story is not that credibility story of that, you know, I'm a TEDx speaker and I am whatever on Instagram, not that. But this is my journey, and the reason I want to share this is because most of us in this room are going to go through something similar. So if I have your permission, put P for permission. Not the exact story. Of course, we are different people, so we'll have different lives, but emotionally, energetically, you know, we will feel those zones in our life, right? Thank you so much for your permission. So I'm going to share my story with you because, you know, I just want you to feel where I come from. And how all of this started for me. And maybe we live different lives, but the feelings and emotions are pretty much the same. So if it's okay with you, I'm going to take like 3 to 4 minutes at least because I'm going to go deep. But in the story also, there will be a lot of learning. How many of you understand that storytelling is the best way of learning? If you agree, put A for agree. That stories are the most relatable thing and the most simplest, best way to learn. Yes. So I just want to share my emotional journey. So where do I start? So basically, there was a time in my life where I completely felt that I had lost myself. Like, I could not feel myself. From the outside, everything looked pretty normal at home, but inside I felt so confused, disconnected, unsure of myself. I didn't feel like a mom who was leading her home, and the energy in my house was completely messed up. I was so reactive, I was guilty, I was irritable, I was annoyed, I was angry. Kisko lag rahi hai ki yeh meri story hai already? Agar aapko lag rahi hai, put me in the chat box. So this is who I was. And I was, and I was tired of repeating the same pattern, the same thing every day. I would say, next time I will not do it, but then next time I would do the same thing. I would shout and then I would feel ashamed. I will fight and then I'll feel guilty. I would compare myself to others and then I would feel that I'm not a good person, I'm not a good human being, I'm the worst mother, I'm such a horrible wife. I don't know what is wrong with me. All those kachra thoughts would come to me. But what hurt me the most was not just the arguments, but the fact that I was not being even 1% the mother I wanted to be to my child. Because, you know, when we give birth to our children, we have so many visions in our mind, right? That when my baby comes, I'm going to do this. When my baby grows up, I'm going to do that. And I'd imagined so many things. But when my child actually came, I felt completely opposite, completely opposite to the mother I have dreamt of becoming. And that pain was so painful, I cannot even explain in words. And I realized something very important that time, that something has to shift. And I also understood that, you know, the moment we start doubting ourselves we also stop trusting our decisions. How many of you felt this, that when you doubt yourself, you can't trust your decisions? And this is what happened with me. Before my marriage, I used to be very, very confident. I believed I could make all my decisions. But slowly, as I kept losing myself, I started doubting my ability to make the right choice. And how many of you can relate with this? Put R for relate. And then one thing became very clear to me that something had to change. I had to do something about this, and I surrendered to my mentors. And I want to thank God— I don't know, God, energy, spiritual power, or my temple. I don't know what was it. I just sat in my temple and out of nowhere this thought was planted in my heart that you should learn about parenting. And that's how I started. And I understood that nothing will change unless I stop blaming my circumstances. And this is the first thing I learned from my mentors. So it was not— nothing to do with my child, it was nothing to do with my stress, it was nothing to do with the situations in my life. It had everything to do with the way I was thinking, the way I was feeling, and the way I was choosing. And that moment, 10 years ago almost, I decided that I'm going to take 100% responsibility. And usually, you know, when we hear the word responsibility, what do we feel? We feel that there's a lot of pressure. If you agree, put A for agree, that responsibility makes us feel that kitna responsibility hai, matlab kitna pressure hai. But I want to tell you one thing, that responsibility is not pressure, responsibility is power. So if you want, you can write this: responsibility is not pressure, responsibility is power. So when you take responsibility for your thoughts, for your emotions, for your decisions, for your actions, and you stop doubting yourself people around you also begin to see your power. So I want all of you to write this: if I can't see my power, nobody else can see my power. And the only way for you to see your power is for you to take 100% responsibility. So around that time, you know, I had started learning about parenting very deeply. My life became all about learning, reflecting, growing, applying. And honestly, it was not easy. Why was it not easy? Because my husband, the closest person in a marriage, he's very supportive, very loving, but he was not very supportive of this journey of me learning about parenting from the very beginning. Because nobody around us in our friend circle was learning, and no, none of my siblings were learning. Nobody was learning. And he felt that, and I also wanted him to learn because I thought that both parents should learn. How many of you feel that, like, both parents should learn? And that was also my mindset when I started, you know, because I was a first-time mother and I was like, Unko bhi sikna chahiye, unko bhi karna hoga. So, you know, I was of that mindset. So I wanted him to learn with me because it was parenting, but I— and because of that also I started fighting. But then I realized that the more I pushed him, the harder it was becoming for me to learn. So I made a decision. I stopped asking him to do it. How many of you think this was a good decision? If you think this was a great decision, I am so glad that I got this mindset and this thought that meh, unko ne bolungi. Because had I told him, we would have kept fighting and I would have also not learned anything. And he is very supportive in all other areas, so I don't blame him. It was my wrong expectation, I feel. So I understood one thing clearly: if I continued the same way, I would completely lose myself. and I would not be able to help my child. So I decided I'm going to do it. So I kept learning, I kept growing, and even during the days when I felt very lonely, I know— I knew that I had to just continue. So sometimes, even though we have families around us, we still feel very lonely on this journey. How many of you have experienced that? Put E for experience, that you might have your husband, child, everybody, but you can still feel very lonely. And I want to tell you something, it is completely okay because it is a part of the process. And you can write this line: growth feels lonely before it starts to feel powerful. It's one of my favorite lines. It will make you feel lonely, eventually it will make you feel powerful. So growth feels lonely, feels lonely till it becomes powerful, till it makes you feel powerful. So Riddhi, what are the one-liners which I'm asking them to write? You can also put that in the chat. So growth will, you know, initially always feel lonely for most of us. Support usually comes. So you can write this, 3 words: growth, support. So first will— no, sorry, lonely first, growth, then lonely, then power, then support. So first you have to choose your growth. When you choose your growth, for some period you will feel lonely. Later you will start to feel powerful. You'll start to feel that, yes, I can take charge of my life, all of that. And when power, power comes, that's when your family will start to support you. So in the beginning, do not expect any support. If this is a Balbon, put B-O. So if you are thinking that your family is the only family that does not understand, let me tell you, I've been doing this work for I don't know how many now, 10 years. 90% families do not understand. 10%, they will push you to do it. 90, or even I would actually say 95%, will not understand. But will that stop us from choosing our growth? Yes or no? No, mothers, no. You still have to do it. Because if you are waiting for their support, will you ever get it in the beginning? No. Because growth will always come before support. Growth, loneliness, loneliness, not the burawala loneliness. This is good loneliness, like you're growing alone and other people are not understanding, you know. They'll just keep doing only, what are you doing? Time waste. That loneliness, are you understanding what loneliness— not like you're sitting alone and you don't have family, of course you'll always have your family, but loneliness in terms of them not being able to understand you. Clear? So I trusted my inner voice, I practiced becoming more present I decided I would be a lifelong learner. I stopped reacting emotionally. And that is exactly what we are going to focus on in this boot camp. Why? Like I shared with you, this boot camp is very experiential and it is downloads, so it is not theoretical, right? It's simple but very, very powerful. So what I want you to understand that we are going to put God first in all our decisions. And that's what I did, and that's what I want to transfer to all of you with your permission. So if I have your permission to do that, put P for permission. And it's taken me a lot of courage to come and do this because I'm going to be fully vulnerable. I'm going to open my whole life before you like I just did. And I want to tell you that starting that day till today I always ask only God before I make a decision. It's like, God, you think I should do it? You give me a signal, I should do it. And I feel that, you know, like my— your vibe attracts your tribe. So many mothers who are in Platinum, they tell me this, that, um, Bhagwan se pooche, and we got a signal. Like Pooja was sharing, I asked God, she got two signals. I don't know, but for me, the signal is only like a strong message from the heart. That's the only signal I have ever got from God. If I get a strong intuitive push from within that I should do it, I do it, even if I don't feel very confident. Because the confidence will come only after you do it. If this is making sense, put MS. Like, if I'm thinking only I will do it only when I feel confident, I'll never be able to do anything in life. I will do it only if I'm 100% sure that I will succeed. How can anybody be 100% sure of succeeding before You've only— before starting, not possible, right? If you are baking a cake for the first time, are you 100% sure? No, but you still start the process of baking. So for me, the whole idea is to always put God first in my decisions, because I realize that if I'm going to ask 10 people, 10 people will give me 10 different suggestions, and that will create more confusion for me. So slowly I started noticing small changes in my home. I'm fast forwarding it a little just to save time. So I started learning and I kept learning and I started noticing shifts in my home. And I want to tell you honestly that the change did not happen overnight because nothing happens overnight. I first changed myself and then slowly, slowly I started seeing my husband calm down in ways I had never imagined in my life. Like my husband, if he would shout, loving husband, but jab gussa ata tha, das ghar door tak sunaye deka. So that husband started calming down. So I want to tell every single mother in this room, if you have a difficult husband, you can change your difficult husband not by fighting, only by working on yourself. And I'm giving you a personal guarantee It's going to happen. So many mothers, you know, in the sankirtan, they tell me, my husband— in the shares call also, mothers were sharing that my husband was drinking alcohol, was smoking, and now he's completely stopped drinking alcohol and smoking. And I, I did not even fight with him. I used to fight, but when I stopped fighting with him and I started working on myself, my husband no longer is drinking and smoking. How many of you think that's wow? Bina lade, bina kuch bole, bina kuch kiya, garab apni life badal sakte ho. Sirif kutpe kaam karkhe, and you're going to feel better about yourself also. What better than that? Why to take the long, long cut when you can take a shortcut? So, you know, the bond between my husband and me became like much stronger. Earlier also there was a, there was a lot of love, but so much kit kit kit kit, all that, you know, just got cleared. I became so much confident as a mother. I was doing things with more clarity, more awareness. I had a clear path, and for the first time I had direction. And again, I'm jumping a little, and when I saw those breakthroughs in my life I was able to build this beautiful school for mothers. And honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank every single one of you because this school will not— would not exist if mothers like you had not chosen to become learning mothers. So I want everybody to put in the chat box, I am amazing. I want you to put this in the chat box, I am amazing. Own the fact that you are amazing. Because you're a learning mother. Very few mothers are still aware that they should do this. They're only in their head, they think we know everything. And I— what I really want you to understand today, if I can move from confusion to clarity, from guilt to confidence, from being a homemaker to one of India's leading parenting coaches for mothers, for being financially you know, uh, how do I explain this? You know, there was a lot of money in the house, but you have to take permission. So there were no money problems, but there were permission problems. How many of you can feel me in this room? If you can feel me, put feel in the chat box. Money problem, permission problem. So that was my problem, not money problem, but permission problem. From there to no problem. So I want to tell you, you are not broken, you are not incapable, you are not permanently— you don't have to remain permanently stressed. You just have to understand the problem is you are missing a structured structure. So you are not structured, that's the problem. So I want all of you to write the word unstructured in your notebook. Circle it, star mark it, do whatever you want and cancel it. No more unstructured living. You will feel the true freedom when there's some structure to your beautiful life. Like, you know, see the design God has designed this world, right? There's a structure to everything. The planets move on their orbits, the moons will rotate around the planets. Everything revolves around the planets. Everything has a beautiful structure. So I don't want you to raise your child in an unstructured way anymore. Just imagine, you know, if you're working in a kitchen— I'm giving you this example because most of us work in the kitchen— if you are working in a kitchen and sab cheez apka lag lag jagara kave, chai patti kanye, doodh kanye, pani kanye, apko kuch nahi milega. You have, you know, this, you know, you have the skills, you have the talent, you have the potential. It's just going to take you forever to cook cook. So what is the first thing you do? You organize your kitchen. You know where what is kept. So just like that, the beautiful thing is, just like your kitchen can be organized, your life can be organized. So structure can be built, leadership can be learnt, being calm, you know, you can train yourself, uh, to become calm. And why am I sharing this with— how many of you can feel the confidence in my voice? If you can feel the confidence, put C for confidence. I have lived through this, that's why I can tell you. I was not a leader type material at all, so scared to go on the stage. So I have learned it, I've worked on myself. No, I was in a position where my confidence was so low after my child. That I was stammering. Also, I was not so calm. Like, before my shaadi, I was very calm. Then after my shaadi, something happened. Seriously, I'm sure most of you went through that phase where after the— after shaadi, you realize what you are actually capable of. You see the Chandi who has been sitting silently within you. So I saw my Chandi avatar started throwing things here and there, and I, I saw all my colors. From there to now, you know, when people look at me, they're like, we can't believe you can be angry. And honestly speaking, I rarely get angry now. I do get angry. I will not lie that I never get angry. I do have those days, but I have learned how to calm myself down very easily and very quickly. How many of you think that's also fantastic? I don't remember. I think it's been years since I fought with my husband for so long. But earlier, my fights, like, seriously, minimum, because I will suddenly remember everything from the past. I don't know. And if you, if you know, whenever I would fight with my husband, if I'm in a good mood later, he would ask me, tell me everything I've done to you, I want to make a list. I was like, I can't remember anything. I can only remember good things. But when we are fighting, there is a special brain or special memory in my brain that gets activated, and I can remember only all the wrong things that has happened to me. How many of you are like me? If you're like me, put me in the chat box. And I don't know how that happens, seriously. So yeah, so I just want to tell you that, you know, I was not like this. I used to argue a lot with my husband, and I just want to thank him because I did not— it was not easy to live with a wife like me that time. But I'm so grateful that he didn't, you know, he was able to, you know, go through my tantrums, if I can say adult tantrums. So today we are going to step into a new identity. You're now no longer going to be a reactive mother. You're no longer going to be a mother with low confidence. You're going to be a Divine Mother. Put DM in the chat box. And when I say Divine Mother, I don't mean you're going to become God, because none of us can ever be God. Just clarifying, right? You will have God-like qualities, but you will not— none of us can be God. If all of us agree with that, put A for agree, because this is very careful, okay? None of us should think I'm a Divine Mother, so I'm God. You will have qualities like God. So our intention for this boot camp is to have those qualities of confidence, peace, calm, prosperity, no jealousy, no competition, understanding, connection, right? So how many of you are loving it so far? If you're loving it, put love. Yes. So now before I move ahead, I want to ask you And I'm going to keep asking you these simple questions, like I'll keep throwing these questions at you in between, just for you to get into an awareness space, of awareness, to understand where you are, to get clarity, because that's the intention for today, to get clarity. And of course, I'm going to also give you some very simple frameworks. So my question to you is, where in your life are you still waiting for permission to grow? You don't have to tell me, you just have to think, reflect. In what areas are you just still waiting for permission? At least get clarity about one area. So I want to tell you one thing: stop waiting for permission. I'm sharing this with A lot of hope that you will receive this message. Why? Because as women, we depend a lot on permission. How many of you agree? Because that's how we have been trained. But how many of you understand that nobody but you know what you want? I do this mirror exercise. Let's do this together. Hold your left hand in front of you. And see everything that you want. See everything that you want, your dream life. Can you see some beautiful things that you want for yourself, your dreams, and where you see yourself, where you see your child, your family, your career, your money, your growth? Right now, put your hand down. Now tell me one thing. What happened? God also doesn't want to record this. Forget it. God helps. God helps. Okay, so what I want to say is only you can see what you want. So what Rachna saw, Ankita cannot see. What Ankita saw, Vaishali cannot see. What Vaishali saw, Jyoti cannot see. What Jyoti saw, Janice cannot see. Nobody can see what we see. Agree. If you agree, put A for agree in the chat box. So tell me one thing, if the mother sitting next to you on Zoom cannot see, can your husband see what you want? Can your mother-in-law see what you want? Can your father-in-law see what you want? So if they don't even know what you want, how will they make the decision for you? And if they— and, and if you are going to them to take permission to make a decision, how many of you understand you will never arrive at a decision. If you're understanding this, put U for understand. Amazing. So how many of you could see yourself in my story? If you could see yourself in my story, put BY, big yes. So now we are going to understand how can you be a Divine Mother. Ready, ready to be a Divine Mother? If you're ready to be a Divine Mother, put R for ready. So let me share my— how I do my story, and you can also do something similar for yourself because all of us have a story. And when you get clarity about your story, you will be able to make progress. So this is, you know— sorry, let me just open to the story slide. So this is the framework for you to get clarity about your story. So all the Platinum Mothers, I want you to have both hearts open, student and teacher, both. Now, the honest— what is your honest struggle? Then your emotional low point. Then in your emotional low point, when you are at the lowest point in your life, that's when you will get a realization which will come from within. This is a message from God. That realization will create a shift in you, and that shift— if you put things into action— some of us, we don't. If we get the realization, we ignore it, nothing shifts, we don't do anything, no results happen. The result is we get into depression. If you actually do something good with that realization, then the result is you can become a beautiful coach like me, or you can become better at whatever it is that you wish to become better at. So now it is your turn to choose your growth and to choose yourself before you choose anybody. If you love this simple framework, put love. You can thank me for this framework because I learned this from one of my international coaches and I paid a bomb for it. You just get it for free, right? Amazing. So now The Divine Mother Identity. So the first thing, the qualities of a Divine Mother. A Divine Mother is not a perfect mother, but a Divine Mother is a mother who creates her life with intention. Unko pata hai unko life mein kya karna hai. Divine Mother ko pata hai what she wants to do with her life. Don't worry about the picture and all. You will come? No, for day 3, sabne likha dana, 1000%. I will be there. All of you wrote, right? So don't worry if you miss a screenshot, you can take it on day 3, right? Amazing. Yes. So a Divine Mother takes responsibility. She does not blame her child, she does not blame her husband, she does not blame her mother-in-law. She does not blame anything, her circumstance, things, for where she is. So the first thing you can write is Divine Mother upar me likhe— first point is takes responsibility. Second thing that a Divine Mother does, she pauses before reacting. She knows how to stop. She is very classy. This is what I shared last time for those of you who came for that one. Put C for classy. Divine Mother is not somebody who's very easily available. You know, if you want to call a goddess, like if you want to call Lakshmi, Saraswati, aise aaj ainge woh, nahi, right? You have to do like proper tapasya to get them. But what do we do? We are like easily like, ha ha ha, aaj ainge bhi ni, jaake ek anta ladai karenge. Usmein bhi hum time denge, right? Just one second. Yeah, so a Divine Mother will be very, you know, uh, she will pause and she will walk with grace. Can you already picture the Divine Mother? Close your eyes and picture her for a minute— not for a minute, but for a few seconds. Can you picture her? She's looking very classy. She's not like unkempt. She's not looking messy. And she goes and she'll not just get into a situation and start blabbering and throwing words. Soch soch ke Right, so she's going to pause. Then a Divine Mother, she doesn't depend on her mood. She has very clear boundaries and structures. She follows her values, not her mood. For example, you know, if you are somebody who likes to keep her house clean So Divine Mother will follow that structure of keeping the house clean. She is not going to get moody. Are you understanding? So she's not following her mood. She's not saying, oh, I'm not feeling like it, so I'll not do it. She will do what needs to be done. Imagine if God says this: today I don't feel like the sun should rise. What will happen to the world? It will be a total chaos, right? And this I learned from my mentor Blair. If you want to be successful, stop following your mood, follow the plan. So Divine Mother follows the plan. She doesn't follow her mood, she follows the structure. Then the fourth thing, she leads with love. And not with fear. A Divine Mother is not going to try and scare her child or scare people around her. She's going to help them or influence them with her love, not with shouting, screaming, fighting, slapping. No. I'll give you an example. Supposing there's a plant Right? And you want the plant to grow beautifully. If you have a plant in your garden, would you like the plant to grow beautifully? Yes or no? Yes, right? But if you are standing on top of that, literally standing on the head of the plant and say, 'Ugo, ugo, ugo,' and you're like slapping the leaves and slapping the branches, 'Why are you not growing? I've been waiting. Why are you not growing?' You think it's going to grow? What will you do? You're going to be patient. You're going to put some water. You guys are— yeah, it's good to laugh. You're going to be patient. You're going to water, make sure it gets enough sunlight. Just like that. Imagine something, you are feeling pain. How many of you felt the pain when I said that, you know, slapping the plant? You'll feel bad. No, if I am coming to your house and I slap your plant, how will you feel? You'll be like, Riddhi, I really love you, but you can't do this to my plant. I love my plants, right? So imagine, if you're feeling the pain for your plant, how can we do this to our children? If this is a major bulb on, put MBO. Because some of you do that. Stop doing it. This is how you talk to your mother? Do jappad! You will not give me your phone? Let me see how you will not give me your phone. 2 more slaps. Is it helping you? Yes or no? Is it helping your child? No. So stop being that, you know, be a little classy, be a little, you know, I don't know what to— whatever word, put a word for yourself. How do you want to be? A divine— you know, do you want— would you just imagine looking at a movie, just see yourself in them? This is an NLP technique. Imagine you're watching a movie where you're seeing yourself slapping your child and shouting at your child and finding faults in your child and criticizing them and blaming them and making them feel like they're good for nothing. My humble request. Can we do better? Can we do better? Yes. So please do better. I know, I trust every single mother in this room, 1,000 on Zoom, and I don't know how many on YouTube. I trust every single one of you, but I want to tell you one thing: me trusting you will not help you. You have to trust yourself. So I want all of you to put this in the chat box: I trust myself to do better. I'm going to be a Divine Mother. My BP is going high looking at the clock, like looking at the time. Guys, is it okay if I exceed? You people, you guys go for boot camp like morning to evening, you can give me at least half an hour extra, like half an hour, 40 minutes extra. I know some of you do so, but Kala boot camp also. Extra, because you know, there's so much I want to share. And plus, I put one relationship thing also in it. Amazing. So now, now you know the qualities of a Divine Mother. Here, because I'm very sweet and I'm very kind, I'm going to give you the slide. Oh, and there's one more point. A Divine Mother keeps growing. She keeps growing, she keeps reading, she keeps learning, she keeps improving. She never stops. She never says, I know enough. So these are the qualities of a Divine Mother. You can take a screenshot, and plus I think Urvi is also doing most of your work in the chat. So you guys are sorted. I wish there was a feature where I could make you chat and I could also keep pinning Urvi's messages, but there's no such feature. But I cannot have a closed chat, then my energy is very low because I need to see your messages in the chat. Amazing. So now the next— so now you know the qualities Now we are going to shift from a conscious, you know, like, uh, you know, like from our current consciousness as a mother to a divine consciousness. How many of you would love to shift? You know, all of us have our whatever current materialistic consciousness and the consciousness to get those material success, like bachega marks aajayein, bachik yeh chee shaadi ho jayein, and all of that. From that to the consciousness of a Divine Mother. Because nothing can change your life unless there is a shift in your consciousness. You can write this: you can only change your results if there is a change in your consciousness, otherwise nothing will change. So if you are seeing changes in your life little by little, it means your consciousness is shifting little by little, otherwise it's not possible. So the first thing to make this shift, I'm going to give you 5 simple steps so that you can shift from your current state to that God-conscious state of a mother. Step 1: Stop labeling yourself. Never ever ever ever, no matter how emotionally low you are feeling, say anything negative about yourself. Don't say I'm not good enough, my— I'm not fair enough, or I'm not confident enough, I'm digitally stuck, I'm this, I'm that, I'm not attractive, I'm a procrastinator, I'm not consistent. I taught you a hack. How many of you remember that hack? Also, also, this is a boot camp where I can throw a surprise question at anybody and I'm going to randomly spotlight you. Not gonna ask you to raise your hand, okay? I'm gonna just say, okay, tell me. Let me do it. Let me demo this to you. Rachna Chopra, what is our theme for day 2? Sorry, hello? What is our theme for day 2? Okay, forget you. Maybe you joined me. Yes, I joined later. I understood. I can see faces. Okay, so you tell me, I guess, the qualities of a Divine Mother. A Divine Mother should be conscious and she should know how to control the emotions. Yeah, I just told you those 5 points, no? But qualities of— don't get scared, this is not in school, okay? What are the qualities of a Divine Mother? To be calm in each and every situation, not to react but to respond. Very good. Yes. Okay, you've passed. So let's put A for amazing. So to— the words were not exact, but it's okay because this is not school, that exact. She got the essence of it, which is what I'm looking for, right? So you have to be calm. And you know, you have to be more, uh, graceful in the way you respond, right? So now, now everybody is focused, full attention with me. Yes. So first, to shift, you have to stop labeling yourself. Second, change one small habit. Stop labeling yourself. Remember I told you, let me repeat it. So instead of saying I'm not a— some mothers have started leaving in fear. Don't worry guys, nobody will leave. It's not a difficult question. I'll not spotlight you, I'll throw it at you. Okay, relax. Okay, so relax, have fun. Learning should be fun, not stressful. How many of you are having fun? Movie ke dese dekna hai. Okay, so understand, stop labeling yourself. Instead of saying I am fat, you have to say I'm learning to be fit. Instead of saying I am— I can't manage time, I'm learning to manage time. Instead of saying I can't do it, I'm learning how to do it better. Use the word learning and change the sentence. The second, change one small habit. Whatever habit, you know, it could be a habit of trying to control everything. It can be a habit of, uh, you know, finding faults in other people. Your habit of not being able to delegate because you think you can only do it best, so you are not able to ask anybody else to do it for you. Your habit of shouting. Your habit of, uh, you know, taking all the blame. Some mothers have the habit, so you take all the blame. Some mothers have this habit of, 'I'm some Miss Perfect, I can't make any mistakes.' So you're laying the blame. So whatever that habit is, identify. Maybe it can be a simple thing, maybe if not so big. Your habit of getting up late, maybe you want to push it down by 1 hour and then again another hour. Maybe your habit of eating too late, any habit One small habit. Why? Because this will bring you into the habit of getting more conscious of your actions. So pick one habit for now. You can write it, what that habit is going to be. Third, speak like a leader, because mothers are leaders, so we have to speak like one. And how do leaders speak? They don't speak like this: Beta, "Pita TV mat dekho." This is not how a leader speaks, okay? And leaders also don't speak like this. "Abhi TV agar banne kiya toh ye TV abhi aapke sarpe marungi." Okay, this is also not how leaders speak, that if you don't give me the TV right now, I'm going to lock you in the room. This is also not how leaders speak, right? So leaders speak with authority and assertion. So you can tell your child, time is going to, you know, time is up. You have 5 minutes left, and after that I want you to hand over the remote to me. Are we clear? Then you don't have to keep yapping and keep repeating yourself. Can you see the shift? You're not shouting, you're not daboeing, but you're being assertive. So there has to be some energy in your divine parenting. Is this making sense to everybody? There has to be some energy, but energy doesn't mean that, you know, some people think you're— I'm high on energy means you're jumping. No, energy doesn't mean always excited and jumping and all of that. Energy can also mean calm energy, because the power is in calm. You know, when people see a calm person, they don't mention energy, they mention, you know, when they sing, oh wow, her energy is so high, her energy, energy. But no, you want to have that calm energy because with calm energy you can command the room. If you love this, put love in the chat box. You know, I'd gone for this event with BK Shivani, I think 2 years ago or 1.5 years ago in Bangalore, some app launch, and she had come. Oh my God, she has some calm energy. The room was full, yapping, yapping, yapping, yapping. The minute she entered the room, you could literally feel the calmness. So we want to have that energy because your energy will spread in your house. And I want you to write this line: Mothers are leaders. You are a leader. You are leading your home. Every single mother is a born leader. Now, whether you're leading with grace, whether you're leading with ease, whether you're leading with divine energy is a question you need to ask yourself. Or are you leading with irritation, frustration, blame, kich kich kich kich, ladai, anger, tears, like kajal has smudged? How many of you remember your faces like that? I remember. When you fight with your husband and your whole kajal is all over and you're looking like some, I don't know, vampire. Seriously. So, you know, it's very important that we don't put ourselves in that situation. We can do better. Agree? If you agree, you know, life is good. Life is Very easy, it's a lot of fun, it's very peaceful, it's calm. But we have to be aware of what we look like when we do these things. Then fourth, if you want to shift your consciousness, first decide what you want. Any one thing. You can, you can be a calm mother, maybe you want to be a con— maybe you're already calm but you want to be a confident mother. Maybe you are calm and confident but you are not able to demand respect because You're not able to set boundaries. Maybe you want to be a respected mother, maybe you want to be a more supported mother. So decide first, what is it that you are looking to be? You should know what you want. And then, very important, a Divine Mother takes action before she's ready. She's not waiting for the perfect moment. She takes action before she's ready. Because understand, confidence— how many of you want to be confident? If you want to be confident, put C for confident in the chat box. Yes, if you want to be confident at something, how many of you are very confident cooks? That I'm very confident about my cooking, like roti to me, say, I see some of you cooking while you're doing my class. You're like making— I'm like thinking, some of you put such good pictures. But tell me one thing, were you feeling the same the first day when you entered the kitchen? Yes or no? Were you able to make with such great speed day 1 of the kitchen? No, right? How many of you are working mothers here and you have been doing some work for 2 to 3 years and now you are so confident about that work that you can do it in your sleep also? But did you feel like that day one when you went to your job and they trained you? No, right? So when did the confidence come, before or after? If it came after, put A for after. You know, I am doing this without any, you know, I'm just going free flow. I just have those slides that I'm sharing with you. So where did this confidence come from? Not like on day one I didn't have this confidence, but now you give me any topic on parenting, I can go on the stage and talk for 1 hour on the spot. I just need like 5 minutes to organize my thoughts. Now, where did this confidence come from? Practice. And where— and the practice will only happen when you start taking action. You know, sometimes, you know, mothers tell me that, ma'am, I don't know if I should be in Platinum, I am not confident. Of course you're not confident. Thank you for being honest, right? Thank you for being honest. How can you be confident? You've not even done the work. You've not even started the process. But how many of you choose to remain non— underconfident? Anybody here who chooses to remain exactly where you are? If this is a balwan, put bio. Some of you tell me, ma'am, I'm not disciplined. Great, thank you so much for being honest. Ek toh number one, aapko ye nahi bolna, I am not disciplined. Aapko bolna, I am learning to be more disciplined. Phir bhi thik hai, aapne bola, I accept it, thank you for your honesty. But do you choose to remain like this? And if you don't choose to remain like this, what do you plan to do? How— if you don't know something and you want to know that thing, what do you do about it? What's the word in between? Let's see the smart mothers in this room. What's the word in between? If you don't know something and you want to do it and you want to know it— technology, right? A lot of people say, I don't know technology. But what's the word? I'm looking at the chat. Once again, learn. Wow, EPH Moms, very good, correct. Learn, learn. The word is learn. But the most biggest problem. So I want you to visualize this bridge. On one end is an underconfident mother, a mother who is not disciplined, a mother who procrastinates, a mother who has no clarity, a mother who feels stuck, a mother who's having relationship challenges, a mother who is not able to connect with her husband, a mother who is not able to resonate with her mother-in-law. All of this. But you don't want to be all of this forever, for the rest of your life. You want to move to the other end, but other end me janik liya, bridge par karna padega. The bridge of learning, put BOL. The most important bridge to be on, the bridge of learning. You can never get to the other end if you love this put love. I'm giving you these visuals. So please get on. Don't stay. You know, there are some people, I don't have the toll. You know what I mean, right? I don't have the toll to get on this bridge. Nobody is going to walk with me. How many of you are ready to walk alone if required? Put ready in the chat box. Because if you're not starting alone and you're waiting for everybody to hold your hand and then walk with you, it's not going to happen. All of us— and even if you're walking with others on the bridge, you'll all be at different point because some people got on the bridge before you did, some people are going to get after you. Thank you, Iram. Love God gives me such good analogies, right? So understand, this is very, very important. So these are 5 things. So let me share my screen now to shift your identity from your current identity to a God-conscious identity, to change your current consciousness to a God-conscious Divine Mother consciousness. Done? Taken a screenshot? Amazing! And now, now we will understand what is God First Parenting. So in God First Parenting, you just have to understand one thing, that you have to understand that in parenting you are not the doer, you are the caretaker. You are not the owner, you are the caretaker. So tell me why— I'm going to give you a very simple analogy for you to understand God First Parenting. Supposing you keep a help in your house and the role of that help is to clean your house and you decide to go for a Dubai trip or a London, UK, whatever, whatever place you prefer. You decide to go on a holiday for 15 days and this help is at home full-time 24/7. And while you're gone, he starts to treat this house like his own house. He's sitting on the sofa, chilling, watching TV, dancing, making food. That's what they do, which is okay, but just telling you. And when you come back— this is— we are just imagining this, okay? And when you come back, this help starts to feel this is his house, he wants to do things his way. He starts to feel like he's the owner of the house. If this is a bulb on, put BO in the chat box. This is exactly what has happened to most of us. We are laughing at that help, but we are very much in that same position. God gave us our little children. 1, 2, how many children you have? Put in the chat. 1, 2, 2, whatever. And God was like, can you take care of this child? And you accepted, and that's why that soul came in your womb. You accepted. And then of course God trusted that you would take care, but while taking care you got so attached to the child that you started feeling that child is yours, the child belongs to you. So understand, we are caretakers. God is the first parent. So tell me one thing, if I leave my baby with Namita Gupta, will Namita Gupta ever have the courage to put a finger on my child? Why? Because she's scared. And she also understands, not just scared, she also understands that I don't have the right to do that. Because she understands that this is not mine. Riddhi's trusted me for a few days. Even if my child is creating a ruckus and throwing objects and doing whatever he should not do, and she's going crazy with my son, She will not. She can best tell me that, "Come and take your child," but she's not going to do those things to my child. She's not going to hit my child or lock my child or do those things. Just like you, this child that you have in your house does not belong to you. You have no right to lock them. You have no right to slap them. They belong to God, and God is watching what you're doing to his kids that he trusted you with. So understand that God First Parenting means first understanding that this child is not— does not belong to me. I am a caretaker. The second thing you have to understand, you are not raising your child, you are only taking care of your child. Now what does this mean? Like a plant, when you put it, you are taking care, no, water mil rahe, sun mil rahe. Are you pulling the stem? Are you pulling the leaves out? Are you making the fruits hang? That's happening on its own. Nature is— God is doing it. You are just taking care. So God raises our children, we take care of them. God owns our children, we take care of them. So tell me one thing, are you parenting? You know, sometimes mothers tell me, my husband is not supporting, I'm all doing everything alone. Now, how many of you feel that you never did anything alone, even for a micro-millisecond, for your child? If this is a crazy balban, because God was doing it all the time. You just took credit for His work. You did it alone? Aapke, aapke ande to aap ka khana karete, andar bachcha kaun banarata? You were just nourishing your body and giving some food, and then God sent milk also. So none of us, even if you are a single mother in this room, none of us are doing anything alone. So first we have to drop that ego and that ahenkaar ki mei sap kuch karte hoon, mujhe kitna kuch karna padta hai. Because we are wrongly taking credit for God's work. He is doing all the work, we are taking credit. All you are doing is giving one ghar. Bhu ghar bhi Bhagwan ke deya se hai, aamare paas. Ban ghar and khana pina. Instead of doing, we are actually doing so many things that we should not be doing. With all due respect. So have you understood God First Parenting? First, you are not owning the child, you're a caretaker. Second, you are not raising, again you're a caretaker. Third, you are not doing anything alone, God has always been with you and God has been doing this work with you all the time. And fourth, you cannot even think of doing anything without God. So don't just think of God as somebody in your temple. Ki subekha puja time hai, I will go, I will do my puja, diya batiya. You have to carry God 24/7 in your heart, in your soul. Like, that's what you are, right? A spirit soul. The messing up, God doesn't do. The messing up, we do. If I am trusting my child with Namita and she's hitting my child, how am I doing anything? Is this clear? It's very convenient to— she's only doing— if she's hitting my child, I'm not doing anything. I just trusted her with my child. So just like that, God has trusted you with the child. Now you're slapping the child, you're saying God is making me slap. How convenient. Bhagwan sab pooch karte hai, Bhagwani mera heart chalare. No, your consciousness is driving your action. Some people are also killing people. You're not killing people, so God is not making them kill people. Their consciousness is making them do it, and that's why the shift in the consciousness is so important. So how many of you want to do God First Parenting? You know, I've just given you a feeler of God First Parenting, but you know, I want— because it is impossible to do God First Parenting in like 20-30 seconds, but You get it, right? Now for this I don't have a slide because I just made this up. Now, so you can just depend on your notes and Urvvi, you can share your notes. There's no screen for this. Awesome. So now we will do a very simple exercise which will help you realize that there's no problem with our children. I'm definitely going up till 8:30. Is everybody okay? Because I want to do the relationship part properly. That's okay, put okay. You know, I have some, uh, relationship and some narcissist husbands have been getting an extramarital affair, so I just want to spend at least 25 minutes there and I need half an hour to finish. So actually the 30 minutes got added because of this extra thing. Now, very simple exercise, so let's take a break. From me talking. Let's get you into doing something. So imagine— I think I did it last time, but I want to repeat it because some of you are new. How many of you are attending this for the first time? First put FT in the chat box. You know, because there's so many good, uh, exercises, but I've done it sometimes, but I still want to do it again because some of you are joining for the first time. Okay, so we'll do it. It's a very simple one. So imagine this is a mirror. All of you, I love this mirror. Mirror and plant, these two are my favorite. Especially seeds, I can use it for everything. Awesome. Now in this mirror, please smile. Everybody smile. Look into this mirror and smile. What do you see? What do you see when you look into the mirror and smile? Okay, put your mirror down and tell me in the chat, what do you see? A happy self, right? A smiling face. Now look at this mirror and frown. Feel sad. I know you guys are smiling, but feel sad. Tough to feel sad in my energy, but you can try. Sad faces, mother! Sad! Come on, we need some good actors in this room. Okay, you are seeing a happy face trying to be sad on the mirror. Right, because you see that. Now you want this mirror to show you a happy face. You saw a sad face, but you want to see a happy face. So you go to this mirror and you try to do something with the mirror. You paint the mirror. Now paint, paint the mirror, all of you. Paint the mirror or try to fix the mirror, and your face is still frowning. Will you see a happy face on the mirror? Yes or no? What are you doing, Riddhi Deorah? What was this? Is clapping yourself. Okay, so you will not see, right, a happy face by doing something on the mirror. Now understand, this mirror is nothing but your child. If this is a crazy bulb on Put CBO. This is what we do. We are some— okay, I am all good. My child needs to be fixed. Pache ko tik karte hai. How many of you have realized this is the first time I've used the word child? First or maybe second, third time, maybe. Because parenting is not to do with your child, it has everything to do with you. How many of you— and those of you are sitting with this ego that I need to fix my child, I cannot help you. I cannot help you because if you don't have that awareness that you need to work on yourself and your child is okay. When mother sent me this message On Instagram, I promise, every day I get this message, I want to do counseling for my child, and I have an auto response for that. I will only counsel your child if you first learn, because with all due respect, your child needs no help. I am very open. What makes us feel our children need counseling? Ek tum ko paida kiya, paida kar ki torture kiya. We made them all that. We gave them depression, anxiety, and all these qualities, and now we want to take them to doctors and counselors. And still you will not do anything for yourself. You still feel your child only is the problem. So if any mother in this room thinks that you only need help with your child, you can leave this boot camp. I cannot help you. I have been doing this work for 10 years. I will not make any false commitments that I can help you. I can only help a mother who understands that she needs to work on herself. And if you are a mother who understands that you need to work on yourself, I can give you a guarantee— whatever results you want to see in your child, I can create it for you with your help, of course. So how many of you are not going to try and fix the mirror, but you're going to face your expression, your energy, your behavior, your communication, everything about you? Thank you for that, me. Now The next thing, the trigger. How many of you get triggered? If you get triggered, put me in the chat box. I'm also putting me. Yes, amazing. How many of you think triggers are irritating and such a big problem? If you think they are irritating and such a big problem, put P for problem. All of you are putting P for problem. It was a trick question. You failed. You failed. Triggers are not problems. Sorry, triggers are not problems. Okay, triggers are signals. Thank you, somebody put indicators. Okay, so trigger is not a problem, it is here to help you. So now let's understand how can trigger help you. So the first thing about a trigger is to first notice it. So I'm going to give you an example and then you'll understand. Supposing my triggers— I have two triggers, very strong triggers. Now I've worked on it, but the trigger is still there. But I'm using the trigger in the right way. So my first trigger is jaldi karo. Agar koi bhi mujhe bolte hai, jaldi karo mujhe baad gussaat, especially if it's my husband. So this is one trigger. Second trigger is, this is not for you, don't do it. I feel very irritated when people try to tell me whether I can do it or not do it. I get very irritated because I feel I can do it. Right? In my head, I feel I can do everything. So understand, so when somebody tells me, I'm like, why is this person telling me I can't do it, or I should not try, or I should not do it? So these are my two strong triggers. Now, earlier I would react when the trigger would show up, you know. I would really like get frustrated, I would get angry, I would fight and all of this. But now I'm going to teach you a process. So first step is to identify your triggers. All of you know your triggers. Just get aware of one or two triggers and work with me, right? So now you know your trigger. Now, after you know your trigger, what is the usual thing we do when somebody tells us the trigger words? We reply, and usually with a very irritated expression, correct? Or usually with a lot of anger. So now what you want to do is, now that you know that this is your trigger, you are not going to work on autopilot. You know this is your trigger, so next time your husband says "Jaldi Karoo," you are going to train yourself to smile. Retrain. All of you smile, show me your smiles. I'm going to next screen also. We have 21 screens. All of you smile. So next time your husband tells you— I'm just giving you my example, okay? So next time, now, now when my husband tells me jaldi karo, I smile and I show him my eyes, and he understands that I'm getting triggered, okay? But I'm not fighting with him, I'm not shouting at him. Then he will understand, he'll say, okay, fine, I'm waiting. But I have changed. I have practiced this. It will not happen just like that. Sometimes I will also tell him, today we are going to a better party, eye makeup will take extra time, so I cannot do Jaldi Karo. So I will say it in a very nice smiling expression, even though this is not the usual response. But I have trained myself, I have practiced it. Just same board exam practice. So if you can learn geography, history, biology, trigonometry, algebra, econometrics, all those difficult things, you can definitely learn to smile. Because some of you, I know what you're going to ask, ma'am, it's not so easy. So my response to you is, if algebra, trigonometry, all the school mugging was possible for you, you better make this possible for yourself, right? How many of you can do it? If you can do it, put me in the chat box. That, yes, I can do it. I, even before you ask, I know your question. So now I already have an answer to your questions, right? So the second thing, the second step, you notice, then you practice. After this, what you can do is you can ask the magic question. And the magic question is not for the other person, it's for you. It's difficult, but I will learn to do. Thank you so much, Ayesha, for that, because growth takes effort, but it is definitely worth it. How many of you are ready to put in that effort? Put me in the chat box. Better than crying, no, better than fighting, better than putting your effort in resolving a fight. Yeah, so amazing. Then ask the magic question. The magic question is not for the other person, the magic question is for you. You know your trigger, you practice your response, you made the other person feel good, but you should also feel good. Agree? Just the other person making feeling good, but you're not— it's not your actual response, right? This is something you've done to manage the situation. Now ask yourself, what does this trigger tell me about myself? That's the question. What does this trigger tell me about myself? So what does Jaldi Karo tell me? Jaldi Karo tells me I don't like to be rushed. That's a good quality. So I'm feeling good about myself. There's nothing wrong. There's no problem in me if I get triggered because I'm somebody who likes to do things with ease and grace. I don't like to be rushed. If somebody is telling me, you can't do it, don't do it, what does this tell me about myself? It tells me that I like to try even if I'm not sure. I believe in myself. I trust myself to try new things. And that's why I get triggered when people tell me, don't try. So how many of you are understanding that your triggers are actually signals that will help you understand and help you grow if you use them right. If you love this, how many of you now love your triggers? If you love your triggers, put love in the chat box. And you grow from it. So every trigger is like a training. And you know, the trigger will initially create a pain in you, just like, you know, when you go to the gym, there's physical pain. Weights, pain, right? Muscles. But you do it. Why? Because later you feel good. Just like that, triggers are like emotional pain. But if you know how to channelize them, and if you know how to deal with them correctly, use them properly, it will actually lead to your growth. But if you do not train your triggers properly, or train— use them properly, then it can actually create frustration in you. So you love your triggers now? If you love it, put love in the chat box. I love my triggers because my triggers tell me such good things about myself. And now my Standard response to all my triggers is— because I know that this word is going to make me say things which I will later regret, so I'm not going to make that mistake. I've practiced it. Very important for your relationships, not just your parenting, but mostly for your relationships, because with kids still they are better in handling our triggers. They just go out of sight. So they know how to handle. But our husbands are not like that. You get triggered, they come at you, right? Some husbands will also, like, you know, just leave you, and— but they will leave you for like 3 days, which also we don't want. Some husbands, you know, they'll stop talking, they'll be like, I need my time. How to respond to triggers while on call? Just say, baby, I know you can't stay without me even for 30 minutes. I know you can't live your life for 2 hours without me. I know I'm very special to you. Just give me some time, I'll be there. Just smile. No, just smile and lower your volume. You can win the world. You can win the world with your smile and add some nice words, baby, or whatever you want to call your husband. Now, before the— before that, let's do a small exercise and then we'll get into the relationship segment, right? So I might not exceed by 8, like till 8:30. Now Lowering your voice is very important, very, very, very important. I'll tell you, like, you know, when I started this journey— and all of you are going to experience this, you know, those of you are now in, you know, when you start spending a lot of time on laptop— how many of you are already hearing laptop? If you are already hearing that, put me in the chat. Do not feel guilty, still sit with your laptop. Because they'll make you feel guilty and then you will quit. Don't make that mistake, it's a trap. I'm telling you, it's a trap. Because if you quit, what will you do? You'll go back to doing the same things. So this is what, you know, in the beginning, you know, just think of it as friction. You know, when you go from Nokia phone to iPhone, or to any smartphone. When we shifted, I don't know if you remember, but it was very difficult for us to use a smartphone first few days because we are not just— before you press it, call lag jaa rahi hai, right? Because that you have to press so hard, this you're like just touching, it's happening. So it was— there was some friction, right? But now, can you even ever imagine going back to a Nokia phone? Not at all. You will just feel, where am I? I prefer not having a phone than having this phone. Dabba. Some people call it a dabba phone, right? So just like that, when you are growing from your current version to a better version of yourself, which— and this will be a never-ending journey. I'm still in that phase. Because now I'm doing bigger things. Now I'm going for 10 days training out of my home, so that's another friction for my family without my child. But I'm still going to do it because I know after 10 days my child will be the same child, I'll be the— I'll be a better version. So I'm not going to quit because I'm not going to sit with this guilt that what will other people think. Of me. Because how many of you understand that we cannot take responsibility for how everybody else feels? Our intention is pure, we are not trying to hurt them, but if somebody is choosing to hurt themselves, we cannot do much. Why am I sharing this? Because I was like this. I would try to own everybody's emotion. And then I became the source for everybody's unhappiness, because I started fighting, I started shouting, I started reacting, I started crying. So I became— for especially for my husband, it was so difficult to share a room with a person who's always crying, always feeling irritated, always feeling depressed. And I became that version because I was so hell-bent on trying to make everybody else feel good. So whatever I'm sharing, I'm sharing from my experience. So don't make that mistake. If you are choosing yourself, you are not a bad person. This is how we are made to feel. If you are saying yes to yourself and everybody else is saying no to, you are not a bad mother. In fact, I would like to say you are a smart mother who has confidence. A smart mother who has the courage to do something which nobody is understanding in that moment. Imagine if I had quit 10 years ago, this would not be happening. And how many of you think that would be such a big loss for all of us, not just you but also for me? Because as much as I help you, you help me. And this is the mistake a lot of people make. We get triggered and we harm ourselves. And in our anger, we shut down our own growth and we destroy our own growth. So please be quiet. Keep your mouth zipped and silently— I'm telling you this from my experience. I've tried everything. I've fought and I've realized it's not worth it. I have cried and I've realized it's not worth it. And I later understood the only thing that is worth it is— not joking— zip and smile. And do your work silently without expecting any support, anything. You know, there were days when I would go out after doing this, these calls for till 9, because that time my husband didn't know what I was doing. I was just sitting and doing my work. I would go out and instead of asking me how am I, you know, that's what I would feel, how am I feeling, and am I tired or something. No, nothing. The only thing I would receive was, he's still not slept, like our son. You have to reduce your call timings. And I remember once or twice I cried, and then later I told myself that this is going to be an everyday thing, Riddhi. For how long are you planning to cry? Because I told myself, I am responsible for my feelings. So I prepared myself for that response the minute I stepped out, and then energetically that response had no power over me. Are you understanding? We have a lot of power, mothers. We don't have to give away our power for small, small things. So let's do this exercise together. Imagine a remote control, not a remote, whatever, not whatever, remote. Many buttons on this remote, and different buttons, different frequencies. Now Vaishali is saying something, and something is happening, and my hands are trying to move and press a button. But this is my remote, my hand. I can either press it or I can choose not to press it. So these buttons are your trigger buttons. One for your mom-in-law, one for your husband, one for your child, one for this, one for that. Different, different buttons on your remote. Now if you keep pressing these trigger buttons all day and you're doing disco with these buttons, on your remote, you are not growing. What do you have to do? Take the remote, put it in the drawer and lock the drawer. But you know what some of us have done? We are very careless. We have not just— we have not just keeping it here, we have handed this to our husband, so he is holding it and he's only pressing it for us. Some of us have handed it to our mother-in-laws and they are pressing and you are dancing. I'm telling you all this because I was that, you know, I was like a— I Dream of Jeannie. How many of you have seen it as kids? I don't know if you've seen it. I Dream of Jeannie. Have any— has anybody seen it where she used to do this and wink and then, you know, she used to appear? Whatever. Some young girls might not have seen. If you're in your 20s, maybe you've not seen. If you're in your 30s, maybe you have. I was like that. Wherever my mother-in-law is, I would appear. I would follow her like a shadow. I don't like to cook. She's cooking, I'm standing next to her. Like, I would not leave her alone. I would not spend even 1 minute in my room alone. I would be with her 24/7. From the minute I woke up till the minute we went to bed. Mama hall me jari hai toh me hall me ho agar mama kitchen me. Because that's what I saw my mom doing. My mom would follow my grandmom and she would— I would do the same for my mother-in-law. So I don't blame her if my mother-in-law was feeling weird for— for a bahu who was following her like a shadow everywhere. To now sitting with a laptop. Any mother-in-law will feel weird, no? So when she would say those things to me, I would not feel bad. I would tell myself, Riddhi, you remember what you did with her, how you used to follow her. Obviously she is going to now miss your presence. It is okay. And I would just— I told her why I used to go to her and I used to tell her, mama, I am working. But aap ko job bhi bhi kuch chahiye mein aajong. So she would also feel respected that I'm thinking about her. And same I did with my husband. I told him that I'm going to work because I'm trying to do something very new. I don't know what, what I'm doing. Don't even ask me what I'm doing because even I don't have any clarity about what I'm doing. I'm just doing. But I want to tell you one thing, that I'm not going to be available like I used to be. So if you want something, please come to me. I promise I will not feel bad if you can— you have the license to come and disturb me. And when you give them that power, they will not disturb you, mostly, because they will understand that you care for them. All they want to feel is that you have not forgotten them. That you still care for them. Is this making sense? If this is making sense, so this is what I did. I had this conversation with my mom-in-law and my husband, two people I would chill— shadow mostly, and two people I knew would get affected by my not being around them. So if any of you have not had this conversation, please go and have this conversation. Right, we will do another, another, uh, this thing, activity, very simple. Do this and tell me which thumb is on top. Tell me which thumb is on top, left or right. For me it is left. They say if right is on top, you're very beautiful. If left is on top, you're very successful. I don't know what the logic. Okay, all right, okay. So left, right, okay. Now you forcefully shift it. So if for you right was on top, you put left on top. If left was on top, put right on top. Do the ulta. Now you feel little different, right? Now it's a little uneasy. It's not super comfy. Why? This is how growth is. Whenever you try something new, it is going to be uneasy. But just remain continuing to do what you have already been doing, it's not going to help you grow as a person. It's not going to help you grow as a mother. So now let's do the relationship thing. Now I have some very important realizations based on your— based on the conversations that I've been having with you guys, based on my personal experience with my own partner. Understand The first thing: temporary attention. All of you write this. This is the biggest problem. Temporary attention should not cost your permanent— cost you your permanent peace. Temporary attention should not cost your permanent peace. What does this mean? How many of you have said this line to your husband? You don't have time for me. You are always watching the TV. You are not spending time with the kids. You don't love me. You don't care for me. You are creating the exact life that you don't want for yourself by saying these things. Why are you doing it? For some temporary attention. And when you beg for attention, you become very unattractive to your partner, and you become a pressure to your partner. For how many of you, you needed to hear this, put me in the chat box. So please, mothers, stop it. Even if you feel like it, don't do it. I'm telling you, it's not going to serve you. It's not going— it's going to create permanent issues unnecessarily, for nothing. Why? Because men like women who are confident, who can take care, who can actually keep themselves entertained. You know, like, you know, in the dating phase, men will always follow the girl who is not so easily available, very difficult to get. But after shaadi, we are like, 'Haaji, haaji, haaji,' and we are like, 'Ab mein yaahu, ab kaahu.' We are throwing ourselves on them, and you want them to be— have— and you want them to have the same level of attraction. Towards you. It is not going to happen. So if any of you have done it, don't worry, you can still get your person back, like your husband back. And if any of you are doing it, stop immediately, because what I want to tell you is this Attention does not always mean love. Just because your husband is not watching TV and sitting with you doesn't mean love. For how many of you this is also a bulb on? Just because someone is doing something special for you on your birthday doesn't mean love. You can write this thing: Attention is temporary, character is permanent. Attention is temporary, character is permanent. What does this mean? Let me give you an example that will help you understand. Supposing we take our children to a shopping mall, right? And some of you are thinking that, you know, mera relationship idda macha hai. You still need to hear this. If you agree, put A for agree. I have a very good relationship. Every— some of you have very good relationships, but just because you have a good relationship does not mean that you don't need to learn about relationship. Just because you have an obedient child who is scoring well in school doesn't mean that you don't need to learn about parenting. Because learning is not a solution to a problem always. Learning can also be a passport to a better life. If this is making sense, because you know, some of us think, "Meera life thi ke, I don't need to learn." That's also a big problem that you need to solve in your head. Just because everything is good in your life doesn't mean you will not choose to learn. So understand this, that, you know, supposing your child is, you know, going to a shopping mall and some stranger comes and offers a chocolate to your child. Now a child will get attracted, right? Because they love chocolate, they love chips and all of that. But tell me, will your child feel safe with that stranger? Just like that, just your husband giving you attention or doing something special on your birthday. That's not love. Love is when you feel safe with someone. Is this making sense? So stop telling your husband, you don't spend time with me, you don't love me. You don't, you don't take me for a drive, you don't love me. I've been waiting for you all day. And all you can see is football. How do I— how am I so good at this? I've done it, I've done it. And that's what I've done it many times, not just one time. I would like make my, you know, because I, I have never seen anybody in a job in my life because I come from a business family. So all the men that I grew up with, my husband, like my father, my grandfather, my brother, all my cousins, nobody went for a job. They all did business. And even my father-in-law, everybody, only my husband in a job. Now what have I seen? I have seen like my mom is calling my father, my father is talking because he's the boss, right? He's going to doing his own business, right? So he can talk whenever he wants to. And I'm calling my husband, he's going on cutting my line. Because he's in a meeting and I'm getting furious. How dare he? My father never cut my mom's line and he's not sending me any messages also. And I'm like, itna, you know, one message also he can't send me in 20, in 10, 12 hours of office work? He doesn't have the time to send me one voice note, one message? I made his life hell. I would message him that you don't care about me, you've just got me to Gurgaon, you just left me, you've thrown me in this house alone. Because he would tell me that you can't even go down alone in Gurgaon because it's not safe. Now I'm not seeing the intention, I'm not seeing that my husband is trying to protect me or whatever. I'm seeing that he has caged me. And I'm like, what, what is this? And he's coming home, instead of, you know, feeling good that now we can spend some time together, I'm blasting him. Like, I'm literally standing with my chandi pura look, door pe. I will open the door for him, and from the minute he enters the house, I am just going to tell him 'You did not send me 2 messages. I yesterday also I told you, you should message me. Still you didn't remember.' And I was in totally in that beggar's energy. Why? Because I had nothing else to do. That was the reality. The problem was not him, the problem was me. And then, you know, I went through that whole phase of, you know, depression, whatever, whatever. I didn't know that that time was not using the word depression on me, but it was. Then I got myself a job to get out of this phase, and I started doing the same to him because now he has been in this job for some time, so he's understood, and I'm new, so I'm learning, and I'm, you know, whatever, and I'm cutting his lines. And, you know, I think that job was the most important thing for me to get to understand how to live with a husband in a job, because otherwise I would have never understood what he's going through. Because I went for a job, I understood what they go through. So if any of you have husbands who are going on a job and you're a homemaker, it's not easy for them to call you. It is not easy for them to message you, send you I love you WhatsApp messages, because mentally you're in a different place. It's not like they don't love you. So I only understood this when I got a job and I was able to relate with him, right? So understand that just because somebody is giving you gifts and all of that, no. If you are feeling safe, now understand emotional distance must be addressed early because most of these extramarital affairs and all of these happen because of the emotional gap. It is never happening in one day. It's not a one-day thing. So for men, it is always about Uh, you know, physical relationship, sex. That's what they really want. That's a need of the man. And for women, it is emotions. So if a woman is cheating on a man, it's mostly for emotions. Mostly. In some cases, it could be something else, but mostly. And for men, if you are not available in the room, if you're always fighting and then sleeping, or if you're always complaining about your mother-in-law and then sleeping, Or if you're bringing some family drama into your room and then sleeping, or if you're bringing your children and fighting about them and then sleeping, then that's a problem. I'm also going to give you some ways of how to— I'm just telling you first what are the things that you have to be careful of. So if there is some emotional distance, you have to have one conversation. You cannot just go into the silent mode. You know, it's just like there's a crack in the wall, you need to fix it, because if you do not fix it, it's just going to become too big and the wall will fall apart. So you cannot just ignore the crack as if nothing happened. So if your emotional disconnection is ignored for too long, there is problem. Also, if you are feeling lonely in your marriage, don't try to escape that loneliness. Again, the answer is in communication, and communication not with blame. Don't blame your husband. Tell them how you feel about the situation. Usually they are not able to help us because we start with blame. You don't talk to me, you share with somebody else. You share with your brother, or you share with this other woman, but you don't share anything with me. You share with your friends, you have fun with your friends, but you don't have fun with me. How many of you said this line to your husband, that you're always having fun with your friends but you don't plan any things with me? I have done this in the past. So again, understand, if you want something, talk about what you want. Don't talk about what they are doing. Write this, write this in your books: I will talk about what I want. I will not talk about what they are doing. Let them do what they are doing. Because if you talk about what they are doing, they will become defensive. They will start attacking. So don't talk about what they are doing, talk about what you want. So let's say you want to talk, just tell your husband, I want to do something with you, even if it is for 10 minutes in a day. I'm not going to force you, but can you do this for us? It can be a 10-minute walk, it can be a 10-minute drive, it— or it can also be a one week, once a week dinner date, just you and me. But I want to do something with you. Don't say, you don't do anything with me, you only chill with your friends. Kya mela issa apko? Ladai mela. So be clear about what you want and communicate just that. I'm also giving you the solutions. I'm telling you the problems and the solutions together, by the way, for those of you are noticing. If you are loving this, put love. These are simple things, but it can really change the whole nature of your relationship. It is very easy to say my husband doesn't love me, my husband does— he doesn't love you because you only created this whole khichdi for yourself. And that is why, you know, life coaching, parenting, learning about relationships, so important. These are the main things that will decide whether we are living fulfilled or not. And then I'm going to also give you some spiritual ideas, right? So whenever you are feeling that something is missing or you're feeling lonely, just don't sit with it and don't just tell other people that nobody cares about me, this, that. Tell me one thing, if your battery is— abhi example yaad hai, supposing phone ka battery low hai, What will you do if the battery is low? Tell me in the chat. If your phone's battery is low, what are you going to do? Yes, you're going to charge it. You're not going to throw your phone away. Unless you are Ambani. I think even Ambani is not doing it, right? You're not just going to throw your phone away, right? You're going to charge your phone. Just like that, if there is something less in your relationship, you need to bring it back. You just can't let it be. And it, you know, a happy home, a fit body, and a calm mind You have to learn it and earn it. It doesn't come for free. It does— no matter how beautiful your heart is. All of you here in this room, you have a beautiful heart, you have good intentions, but you still have to learn. Because without learning, you know, we just don't know what we are doing. It's just like on— you're just repeating the patterns we saw our parents do, or whatever, whatever is our natural pattern. And also, your choices will shape your child's emotional security. Just because you're not telling your child every detail doesn't mean they don't feel the, uh, choppiness in your relationship. They don't feel the instability. They feel everything. How many of you agree? No matter how much you try to hide, you cannot hide these things beyond a point. You just cannot. Now just imagine if a child is sitting in a car, maybe you're driving the car or your husband is driving the car, and your child is— if there is a bumper, everybody is going to feel the impact. Not just the person driving the car, but even the person sitting on the passenger seat is going to feel the impact of the bumper. So you and your husband are driving your relationship, but your children are also silently going through that impact, even if you don't want them to. And that impact will not just stay with them, it will get carried forward to their own relationships with their own partners. Because whatever you do will become the new normal for your children. If this is a bulb on, put B-O in the chat box. I'll take another 15 minutes, I think, 15-20 minutes, not too much time. So how do you heal? Let's say you're not in a relationship where the partner is understanding, or maybe you're fighting a lot, whatever. I want to tell you this, and this is my experience, and I know it works. You want to heal your relationship, you have to stop blaming your partner. No matter what they do. Yeah, even in extreme cases, Hema, you have to stop blaming your partner. I'll give you an example. Supposing you get into a room and the room is full of darkness. What can we do? We can do two things. We can enter the room and we can say, oh, kitna andhera hai, kitna andhera hai, oh, it's so dark. That's one thing we can do. And the second thing we can do is switch on the light. Now you choose what you want to do. I'm coming to the narcissist husband also. I knew this will come, so I'm prepared, right? So don't worry. And I also touch on extramarital affairs. Because some of you sent me those questions. Then how to react? You don't want to react. Why do you want to react? That's the whole thing. So understand this, everybody makes mistakes. It's not like, you know, your partner is the only one who's making mistakes, or I'm the only one who's— maybe both of you are doing it. But if you want to heal your relationship, or if you want to heal the way you are feeling, you have to take responsibility for your relationship. You cannot force your partner to take responsibility because they are not even in the awareness zone. Is this making sense? So don't waste your time and energy trying to convince them to shift. You start shifting and you will definitely see them shift. Also, I want to tell you one thing. Now, in relationships, karma plays a very important role, especially the husband-wife relationship. Now, your husband is both your soul partner and your karmic partner. Now, what is a soul partner? Soul partner is somebody who will you know, take you to a better life. Like, you know, you maybe you're not born in the same families, but from the soul kingdom you know each other, and now you've come into each other's life and you're going to take you— take each other to a better position. And karmic partner is somebody who's going to give you lessons through their actions. Which means if they are not treating you well, there is a lesson for you in that. If they are shouting, there is a lesson for you. If they are expecting too much out of you, there is a lesson. The lesson could be you need to learn to set better boundaries. Maybe you have to work on your self-worth. Maybe you need to be more tolerant. Maybe you have to be less controlling. Maybe you have to learn to take your own responsibility. Maybe you need emotional healing. Maybe you need to learn how to detach yourself from unhealthy patterns. So, you know, a painful relationship does not always mean you are being punished. It is God's way or life's way of teaching something you need to be aware of. And if you don't get aware of What is the lesson for you in that difficult relationship? You're going to come back to an even more difficult relationship. So you need to— and it's not like you have to stay in that relationship. Maybe the relationship— the lesson for you was not to sacrifice your self-respect. Maybe, maybe the lesson for you was to become financially independent. Maybe the lesson for you was, uh, to learn to set better boundaries. Maybe the lesson for you was to learn to communicate more assertively. How to identify? Now that's a very long process. Do the whole relationship coaching. How many of you think these are things what I'm sharing with you also, it's like way beyond what I promised to you in the gold level? If you agree, put A for I have not promised relationship to you in gold, like this kind of relationship. But I'm doing this because, you know, this is going to influence your parenting, and I care about you doing better for your children because our children don't deserve to see this. They don't deserve to go through this unnecessarily. Every single one of you should be in Platinum. You know, I told you, this is like a trial, 3-day trial. Ultimately, day 3 pe aapko enroll karna hai, sab ko. How many of you are going to do your absolute best and not be stuck in mere paas time nahi hai, maine khar paungi, working mother, this, that? Put DWIT that I will do my absolute best. Even if you're a new mother, do your absolute— all you have to do is put ₹20,000 deposit only, na? Uske baad you keep paying aaram aaram se, next month, next month karkhe. So now understand this. If you have a narcissist husband, what is— first understand what is a narcissist. Who is he? Somebody who is always— in one line, it's not a very difficult definition— somebody who is always prioritizing their needs. Over your needs is a narcissist. Now even you can be a narcissist in a relationship. It's not just like the husband. No, people think, japtang, marrying narcissist, not true. Sometimes they can just be narcissist even without hitting. Are you understanding? Most people only think that when you're being physically abused or you're being hit, only then. No, Anybody can be narcissist. Anybody who is prioritizing their needs over everybody else's need and they think that what they want is only the most important— why narcissist? Yes, thank you. Emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse because physical abuse, problem, you are not sitting and feeling If somebody hits you, and you— maybe they hit you and you are feeling pain here, will you sit and think about the pain here? You're thinking about the pain here only, the emotional pain. You're not sitting and thinking about which part of your body is paining. So now understand that what is it now In extra— first let's do extramarital affair and then I'll get to this because that's easier to handle, right? So for extramarital affair, there are 2-3 scenarios. Scenario 1: you just got to know that your husband had an extramarital affair and you are in a state of shock. After the state of shock settles, there comes a state of acceptance that, okay, now I have to accept kiye ho gaya hai mere saath. Understand, like you'll cry, you'll do whatever. Maybe for some of you the state of shock will last for a day, maybe not. It will not happen for any of us. If it happens for anybody, or if it has happened to anybody, it could have lasted for a day, 2 days, 1 week, 1 month. This shock, usually it is a few days, right? After the shock settles, there is a zone of acceptance. Acceptance, not that I have accepted ki mera husband ye kare, acceptance of the fact ki ho chuka mera saath. Is this every— is everybody with me? If you're with me, put WM. You're not accepting that I'm okay that my husband is doing this, but you're accepting the fact that, okay, this has already happened in our relationship. Now, if it has happened for the first time, you have a conversation with your husband and you give him another chance because everybody can make a mistake. You can give a chance. There is nothing wrong with you giving a chance if it has happened once. But after it is repeated, you gave a chance, he asked for forgiveness, and he did the same thing again, then you have to accept that he will not change. Is this clear to everybody? Now supposing situation A— I've played all the scenarios to give you full clarity. It's like a tree. Situation 1, where he apologized, you forgave him, he became okay. Then your relationship will become okay, right? Now you've understood. Now you'll ask him, why did you do this? And then you're going to tell him that, you know, whatever, why did you do this in the first place? He's going to tell you why he did it. Maybe he wanted more sex, maybe he wanted more time, maybe, maybe you were fighting too much, and all of those reasons he's going to tell you. You're going to work on those reasons and you'll make sure that it's not repeated, and then your relationship will be fine. Now supposing you gave him a chance and he did it again. Again, there will be a shock that I gave him a chance but he still did it. Again, there will be acceptance, but this time acceptance will be of a different nature. Last time you accepted that this has happened in your relationship. This time you have to accept that he will not change. Now once you have accepted that he will not change, what is your next question to yourself? Whether I— whether you want to be with him or you don't want to be with him. Now you have a choice not to forgive him because he did it again, and now you know that this is what will get repeated. So now it's up to you whether you wish to be with him or not wish to be with him. Now you will only have this choice of whether you wish to be with him or not wish to be with him if you are financially independent, or your family from where you come from is financially independent to take you back. And they are agreeing to take you back. But if you are not financially independent, or your family is not financially independent, or maybe they're very orthodox and backward or whatever, like they are not understanding your situation, again you don't have a choice. So now what is the only choice you have? I have to be with this person. Are you with me so far? I'm going very slow. So you have this choice that now, now you only have this option that you have to be with this person. Now if you are with this person and you know that you have to spend the rest of your life with this person, your happiness is in whose hand? Him or yours? Your control or his control? Somebody is putting his— your hand, your hand, not his hand, your hand. Then you are going to live with him with this understanding that he is just here, but I am going to live my life. I am not going to expect him to be honest and loyal. You have to ignore, not ignore like, but you have to accept, and then you have to find other ways of keeping yourself happy. Is this making sense? Because it doesn't matter, you know, I just want to tell you one thing, whether your husband loves you 100 or whether your husband loves you 0, or your husband loves you 20, doesn't matter. Are you understanding? We, you know, maybe I, you know, it's very easy for a mother to say, oh, my husband really loves me, I'm so lucky. I want to tell you, you're only in your head, because your husband only loves you because there are so many things you're doing right, and chances are if you stop doing those things, he will stop loving you. So it is all a transaction. So if your husband doesn't love you in your relationship, there is no need for you to kill yourself. Have we all seen a loss of a loved one? Yes or no? Has everybody experienced loss of a loved one? Somebody losing grandparent or parent or somebody. Are you still zinda? So just think that, okay, fine, I'm in a marriage but I don't have a husband. It's a unique situation. Don't have to kill yourself over it. Just chill. Do other things. Use your energy to help other people rather than sitting and using your energy to cry and sob. Kia ho gaya karoo kain aur toh rene do na jaaye. Because you have accepted you don't have a choice. So you, if you don't have a choice, you do the best with what you have. You're not going to make the worst of what you have. And don't care about what the world thinks. It doesn't matter. And if you have accepted it, don't transfer it to your children. That is the worst form of abuse, worse than physical abuse. You be in a happy energy, love your children, and let them love the father. Kill the— yeah, mentally kill the husband. Not like physically, okay, no, no, really no, only mentally, okay. Like mentally you can feel that he's not there, and that's completely okay because whatever makes you feel happy. Now if you don't have the money and you have two kids and you make this foolish decision in your emotional state to leave the house with your two kids. What is your next plan of action? So you just went from bad to worse. So you live there and have a plan. There's another plan that you can have: build yourself financially so that eventually you can create a choice for yourself to step away if you wish to. Is everybody— and I want to tell you one thing, extramarital affair has become like cough and cold. It has become like cough and cold, so you don't have to worry so much. It is not a— it is definitely not the right thing to do. Or it is definitely not a good feeling to go through. But I know one thing, if you are a mother, you're going through it, you still have a beautiful life to live. And I want to tell you one thing, if you want to depend on somebody for your happiness, depend on God. Depend on God, not on your husband, not on your children. Not on your parents, not on your siblings, not on, not on anybody. If you really want to experience happiness, depend on God. You feel lonely, you feel, um, all of these things when you don't depend on God. Does this help everybody? If this helps everybody, put help. So I just want to tell you Whether you're in a happy relationship, or you're in a relationship where your husband is in an extramarital affair, or you're in a relationship— whatever your relationship is, whatever state it is in, it is your responsibility to keep yourself happy. Put happy in the chat box if you are going to keep yourself happy. And you know, somebody will say that, no, it's not so easy. It's easy to— no, it's— it is easy. And there are women in this room who are doing it very nicely. So it is easy, it is not difficult. And if you really want proper in-depth, then you learn relationship properly. And narcissist, where I was telling you about, you know, they only prioritizing their own needs, how to deal with them? Number 1, maximum energy gets drained when you try to change them. So please stop that. Don't try to change them, that they will one day become a calm version. Na yoga. Woo, unka nature hai, unka swabhav hai. Agar aapka swabhav hai to be kind, can you turn into an unkind person suddenly? No, right? So if your husband is like that, you cannot change him overnight. So you stop trying to change him. You have to strengthen yourself emotionally because not every argument requires a response from you. Don't waste your energy trying to respond to everything they are saying. Reduce your emotional dependency on them. Don't depend on them emotionally. Ki vo apko emotionally satisfy kar payenge. They can't because you can only give something that you have. They don't have it. So if they don't have it, how will they give it to you? It's like, you know, I'm going to Richa and I'm telling Richa, can you give me 10 diamond rings? Richa is like, Riddhi, get lost, I don't have it. Just like that, you are going to your narcissist husband and you're like, why can you never understand me? Why can you never feel my emotions? Why can you never see my pain? They can't. They don't have the eyes to see it. They don't have the heart to feel it. Is this making sense? So unko bolna band karia, stay calm and clear. Because when you put ghee in the fire, the fire becomes brighter. And you know, just like that, your words, your reactions to your narcissist husband, it will do that work of ghee. So don't talk. And now you think, but why should I accept disrespect? So if you are in that zone where you don't want to accept disrespect, then you set boundaries and leave that relationship. So you have a choice when you're with them. You have two choices, again same, either to live or not live. There are only two choices, very simple. Just play out all the scenarios. Two choices: live or not live. Now, live— if you live, then you live with this recipe that I'm giving you. Otherwise, you will always be unhappy and you'll always be fighting. So if you've made your decision, no, I'm going to live with this person, I want to cut my karma this life only, I'm going to tolerate all of this because I don't want to come back to the same kind of a relationship, so you stay. If you feel that no, your message in this relationship is not to, you know, tolerate. Because maybe some— you will get this feeling, because narcissist husbands are not always pain. They're sometimes very loving also, because their need can also be to love the wife. Is everybody understanding? So narcissist people doesn't mean that they are always torturing you. They are only prioritizing their needs. So their need can also be, I always want my wife with me. My wife should not leave and go. My life— my wife, wherever she goes, she should go with me only. That can also be your narcissist husband. So they are very self-centered, basically. So if you've chosen to live with them, then you have to follow this recipe that I've given you: emotional boundaries, less communication, less reaction, Less emotional dependency. Do not expect them to be emotionally understanding, available, and understand who they are. And now if you're choosing to leave, then maybe your lesson is, I don't have to go through this. Maybe you've tried everything and now your lesson is that I don't have to go through this. I have to 'Prioritize my respect.' Maybe that's your lesson. Maybe you've tried everything and you've still not— now you're thinking, 'No, I need— I deserve better.' And your lesson is that. And in that case, you move out. When, when you move out, don't move out with guilt. Don't move out with this feeling that, 'Now I'm alone in this world.' No, I never. But you said no. See, karma doesn't mean that you have to get tortured. Karma means you have to learn the lesson. Now, lesson can be in different forms. Is this making sense to everybody? And you know, if you are a single mother, that's completely okay. You know, I have never said that don't leave. I say that do your best to work, make things work, because leaving is the easiest option, right? So your first intention should be to make things work. —because some of us have very low tolerance, and the only option we can think of is, "I can't take this, I'm leaving." So in that case, I tell you, your first option should never be to leave, because then you've not even got any lessons and you've left. But if you've tried and you've given your best, and then it's your feeling, you know, and all of these things, you know, it cannot be explained. Everybody will have a unique experience. How many of you understand this? I cannot say that this is right and that is right. Every situation is unique. So it would be wrong if I sit here and I tell you ki yeh sahi hai, vo galat hai. Who am I, right? So I am nobody. Every— and you will know because you will feel it from within, because your subconscious will tell you, because your subconscious knows what is the next thing for you. So there are many people who have moved out of relationships and they've done really well. They've lived very happily. Maybe their lesson was for first 4 years, 5 years, 6 years. They got the lesson, they moved on. So many people are living and they're every day still getting their lessons. But the most important thing is you need to be aware of where you are, what is happening. You have to have full acceptance. The reason why we suffer is we— because we don't accept our situation. You know your husband is in an extramarital affair, but you are not accepting it. You're always wanting him to change, and that's why you're suffering. You're always expecting and you're sitting with this hope. You know your husband is narcissist, but you're not accepting it. You're always trying to change him and that's why you're suffering. Is this making sense to everybody? Did this help all of you who had sent me those voice notes about relationship and all? So my request to anybody, you know, whether you want to do it or you don't want to do it, that's completely up to you. But anybody who's going through relationship challenges or you're with a partner who's not so easy, please come to Platinum. I think everybody should come to Platinum, but I'm specially mentioning this to mothers who are going through these issues. A, because you need God's permanent presence in your life. And in your energy, with that kind of a setup, you cannot do it on your own. How many of you agree? Put A for agree in the chat box. And sometimes parents can also be narcissists, so you come and you do it together. Yeah, anybody can be a narcissist. Yeah, it's not like just your husband. Anybody who is not able to Who's always prioritizing their needs over everybody else's need. That's simple answer. Understood? If this is clear, so I personally feel that, you know, the spiritual classes that we do every day in the morning will really help you. The relationship coaching will really help you. The life coaching will really help you. It's going to help every— how many of you think that this little bit, 20-30 minutes that I did, is going to help you already? So imagine, you know, but once— listening to this will not solve your problems permanently. How many of you also understand that? Put yes. It will create some shift, of course you'll feel better energy and all of that, but permanent environment, and you know, maybe in our current homes we are not able to create, but this is also an environment, you know. Where you can suspend all that reality which is messing your brain, messing your energy, and you can do something better. If you agree, put A for agree. So I would love for you to keep putting yourself back in these environments where you don't have to sit and think about all of that. Whenever we are sitting and doing all nothing, then we sit and think about those things. And some women are also doing extramarital affair, which also you have told me about, and that's completely okay, and I'm not judging you at all because, you know, every situation is unique, and I'm sure you had your own reasons to do it. But if you are doing it, my only humble request to you is if you can retrace If you want to be with another man, you leave the first man and then be with one man. Because I can understand, maybe you're not resonating with your husband, you're not connecting. That's completely okay. Everybody has the right to choose the person they want to be with, but it is not right to be with another and then keep the other in pain. So if you lost interest in your partner somewhere Have the courage to step out of that relationship and then be with the man you got attracted to. Don't do both. And I'm not saying this, God says this. And I'm only trying to protect you because in this body you will stay for what, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 more years max. But after that you have so many more years to live. And in our Vedas, it is said that if you do something like this, there is not even a place in hell for you. I'm not saying this, I'm just trying to protect you because the laws of God are impersonal. So if you happen to be in an extramarital affair and you just— it happened and you couldn't control, and maybe it was just destined for you, or whatever you're feeling about it. Choose one and then be with one. Because you guys, I can directly tell you— is this making sense to everybody? If this is making sense, put MS in the chat box. It is the same. Yeah, laws of God are same everywhere. Quran or Bible or Gita, it's the same because God is one. Now some human beings have changed some things somewhere. Now we don't know who changed. So like always, I had some important points to share, but I'm going to share this tomorrow because I want, um, the energy to be a little different for this. So we are going to do this tomorrow. But if you loved, loved, love this, put love in the chat box. And there's going to be a homework, so we'll be putting the homework link and the Platinum interest form link. And I'm praying for every single one of you, whatever your resistances are. I hope all your resistances— the money block, family block, permission block— I'm praying for every single one of you, ki apka saara blocks clear ho jaye. And I'm praying that God gives you the courage to make the decision on 17th. So fill out this, and the first link that you see, it's the homework link. So it's very simple. Let me just open it and show it to you. Just one second. Okay, okay, okay, don't, don't share it again. So I'm going to share my screen. So there'll be an awareness quiz, the woman she forgot she was. So you just want to, you know, the Divine Mother that we spoke about. So these are some MCQ questions where you have to select A, B, C, D, whatever. And then Aka, you have to give yourself a point, B point, 3, uh, Cika point, Dika point. You'll give yourself points and then Just one second, where's the debrief? Okay, the debrief page is missing. I'm going to get that added, don't worry. So, uh, there's going to be one more page in between. I don't see that page where you'll be able to see the result of the questions that you've answered, and then, uh the reflection questions. So you are just going to write the answers. I've also given you some examples, right? So how many of you are going to do your homework 1000%? If you're going to do your homework 1000%, put 1000 in the chat box. Correct. So you do your homework tomorrow in the morning. Don't do it tonight because I want to add one more page to it. So you do it tomorrow early morning with a fresh mind, right? Today you've absorbed too much. Today please drink a lot of water and then just go to sleep, right? So that would be the best thing to do— drink water and sleep. And all this you do tomorrow, the homework you do tomorrow morning, and then you put it on the app. You'll get an option to mark your homework complete on the Central— Central. How many of you are using Central.easy Parenting? If you're using, put yes. Yes, all of you, right? It's very convenient. So just go there and you mark your homework done. And tomorrow we will cover— just one second— all of this. So be there tomorrow on time so that you can stay on Zoom. And be early. On time means late. So I want to be a little early. So tomorrow we will do a power— tomorrow will be all about action. So powerful communication method, how to build communication, how to build connection, live self-evaluation, simple emotional reset, life practice activity, leadership opportunities, mindset shift, expand your purpose. And then I'm going to tell you about what will happen on day 3. So if you are super excited for day 2, put SE for super excited. Amazing. So thank you so much everybody for sticking around till the end. I really, really, really appreciate your presence. Tomorrow will definitely be shorter. Today I just added this whole relationship piece last minute in the morning, so it became a little longer, but I think it was needed because today in the morning so many mothers messaged me about relationship, extramarital, narcissist. So I just thought that I should definitely cover it, but I didn't want to remove the old things that I had planned. So I just added another piece, so it just took me a little extra time. But I hope this was time well spent. If this was time well spent, put TWS, and I will see you tomorrow sharp at 6. Please come at 5:50, come early, hold yourself responsible. You don't need us to send you— we send you multiple reminders. I'm going to still do it tomorrow, but still, you be here on your own for your own learning, for your own child, your own family, your own energy, your growth. Right? So thank you so much, everybody. Good night, love you. This is Riddhi Deorah, your coach for life, always trying my absolute best to give you as much value as I can in the time that we spend together. And all the gold mothers, and some of you have been invited by your friends and family, and this is something we are doing for the first time ever, so please make sure you fill out the platinum interest form. And when you do that, super coaches and some others from our community. They'll be reaching out to you to help you with your questions in case you want to know more about Platina. Uh, they'll, they'll be the right people to help you. Awesome, thank you so much. Love you and take care. So I'm going to keep the chat open because— uh, sorry, close— and the link in the chat so that all of you can do it. The attendance, we will give it to you on the backend because there's some problem with the toggle button. They're fixing it, but on the Zoom we get the whole report. With the timestamp, who is staying with us till the end. So we are downloading that report and we'll be manually adding your attendance at the backend. Is that okay? If that's okay, put okay in the chat. So all of you will get it, so don't worry about it. And for now, you can just fill out the form. If you've already done it, you can take a leave. If not, then fill out and then leave. Awesome. Thank you so much. Love you and take care.