How Can You Stop Feeling Guilty If You're Working Mother? Riddhi Deorah

Are you a working mother and you feel guilty that you're not spending enough time with your child? Are you a mother who does a lot but still feels that you've not done enough? In this video, we'll discuss how can you stop feeling guilty if you're a working mother? I'm Hriti Devra, a certified parenting expert, and I've helped over 10,000 mothers in the last six years. And I'm the founder of Easy Parenting Hub, a digital school that helps mothers across the world. So let's understand one thing first, that mothers, as mothers, we are always making the decision keeping our children in mind. So if you're a working mother, you're probably working because you want to give a better lifestyle to your child. And if you're a mother who's decided to not work and decided to spend most of your time with your child, then you've done it because you just want to be with your child. So whatever the decision may be, it has been made keeping our child in mind. So you've kept your child in mind while you made that decision. So there is no real need for you to feel guilty. Now. The second reason why we feel guilty is that we feel that, you know, my child is not doing well enough or my child is not doing good enough because I'm not not spending enough time with my child. It's very important to understand that parenting is not just about you. It's also a lot about the child. It's a parent child relationship. So it's not just about what you do with your child, but it's also about your child's own temperament, your child's own predisposition. And some kids want to learn differently. So if your child is not showing the right developmental stages for a few areas, it doesn't necessarily have to be. It's not necessary that. It's only because you're going to work. That's one thing that you need to completely stop thinking. The third thing that you want to do is time, which is definitely very important. Now that we brought these children into this world, it is definitely our responsibility to do something fun with them, to spend time with them and to be responsible for them. So now how can we really do this? So here's something that I used to do when I was a working mother. So before I became a parenting coach, I had a fashion label and I used to go to the store in the morning, and I used to only return in the evening. And I can completely understand that, how difficult it can be as a mother to Go through that feeling, especially if you're just starting off on this journey. So this is what I used to do before I left for work. I used to do 2, 3 fun activities with my child. So you can do very simple activities like five new words, read a book to your child, play with play doh or do some blogs. So if you do two, three small activities with your child before you go to work, while you're at work, you'll feel a little relaxed because you'll feel that yes, I did spend some time connecting with my child. I did something fun and productive with my child. So it's going to keep you a little relaxed. The second thing that you must do is you must prepare a few small activities for your child. Of course, depending on the age of your child when you are away and when you are at work. So when I used to go, I used to just prepare very simple things like, you know, draw an apple on a sheet of paper and I used to tell my son when I want to come back, I really would love it if you can color this for me. So most of the times he did it, sometimes when he didn't feel like he didn't do it. So don't be very pushy about it. If they do it, great. If they don't do it, that's also okay. And you can give other small activities like you know, four piece puzzle. You can also give them like flashcards, you can do it with them and then you can tell them that keep looking at this when I'm away and I'm going to come back and ask you and if you get all of them correct, you're going to get one star on your chart. So you know, you can keep, you can keep prepare a few activities to keep them engaged when you're away. So every time they're doing that activity, they're thinking about you. Also you can definitely call and get in touch with them in between whenever you get their chance. And you can just tell them that you know, mommy is really missing you and she wants to come back to you. Thank you for helping me. Just show a little gratitude and let them know how grateful you are that they're letting you do this. So just let them know because then they're going to support you a little more on this journey and they're going to be a little more cooperative. Then let's say you've come back from work. Now when you come back from work, it's very important that you don't carry your work home even mentally. So leave Work at office mentally completely. So do not think about your unfinished projects. Do not think about that one pending order or one more sale that you could have converted. Just connect with your child now. Also, when you're coming back and you're spending time with your child, do not start by correcting your child. So if you see that your child is making a few mistakes or is doing something which is not right, do not start by correcting them. Because then this is just going to weaken your bond with your child. Understand that you're meeting your child after so long and the first interaction should not be a correction. So you want to really spend time connecting with your child. Do something fun. Let your child know what you did at work. You can ask your child about how their day was. What was the most fun thing about their day? What was the most boring thing? What was the most. Did they meet somebody new? Did they learn something new? You can tell your child about your day and just connect and bond with your child. Once you've connected, that's when you can really start doing something from school, let's say some homework, if there is some homework from school, or if there is something that you want to communicate, which you feel that your child should do. So all of that should be later. First, at least spend 10, 15 minutes just connecting and bonding with your child. That is very important. So if you do this, then you've already spent like 30, 40, at least 50 minutes of productive time with your child, which is great. Also, three very important time slots that you should spend with your child is when your child wakes up, try to be with your child, because that's very important. That's a very important time because children are really bonding and connecting at that time. So those 10 minutes you want to be with your child, then one kind of meal you want to try and have with your child, because food carries a lot of energy. So let's say dinner is easy for you. So you eat dinner with your child, and this is very important. And just before your child is going to bed, try and be around your child and do some positive talk with your child. I'm not suggesting that you have to sleep on the same bed with your child if you don't wish to, but at least you should be around your child just before they're going to bed because this energy will stay with them throughout the night. So if you follow these small, small practices and if you're doing all of this, I absolutely feel that there is no reason for you to feel guilty. Also, be a little realistic and have realistic expectations from yourself. Because guilt usually happens when you have unrealistic expectations from yourself which you cannot meet. But when you understand that, you know, I'm working and I need to be at work, which means that my time is going to be divided between my child and my work. And when you accept this situation and try to do your best with the situation that you have, then your life becomes very easy. Just feeling guilty is not going to help you. Just see what is the best that you can do with the situation that you are in. If you do all of this, then you're going to feel very relaxed about your parenting journey and it's going to become very smooth. Also, you'll find some time to connect and bond with your child. And the other thing that you can also do, which I forgot to mention, was during the weekends, if you are not working, that's a great time to create a few experiences for your child. Like, you know, small experiences. You can take them to a temple or you can do like a pretend picnic at home. If not pretend, now you can actually step out and do a real picnic with your child. You can take them to a zoo. So create like a fun memory for your child during the weekend so that throughout the week they are thinking about it. And you can also ask them a few questions about the experience that you created over the weekend. So they are actually mentally always connected with you. It's not about how much physi, how much time are we spending with them and not just about our physical presence, but are we really connecting with them at a mental level? Do they really feel that they are protected? Do they really feel that? You know, my mother cares about me, she thinks about me, she really wants to make me have fun. She really wants to do things with me. So if you can give your child all of these feelings, then it's okay even if you're at work. What is more important is that are you spending the time that you're spending with your child doing something productive? Are you really 100% present with your child? When you're present with your child? So do all of this and I'm sure you start to feel a lot better. And I really hope this helps. And if you want more such strategies, tips and techniques, then make sure that you hit the subscribe button and also join me for my next workshop. I've shared the link in the comments below. It's a 90 minute workshop where I had a lot of value and I share with you lots of easy tips that's going to make your journey as a mother a lot easier. So make sure you come for the webinar. Thank you.