How To Design Your Dream Life? | Riddhi Deorah

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So today it's a very, very interesting live with somebody that I've really, really admire. Her name is Pooja Puneet. She's an author, she's a direct speaker, she's a life coach, she's a business coach. And she's transformed lives of more than 10, 000 women in India and internationally. She been trained under some of the best, best coaches, Brian Tracy, Brendan Bruscha, Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield. And she has a phenomenal, phenomenal experience in what she does. She can help you identify your skill set. She can then tell you how to identify your niche, how to use your skill set and start monetizing and how to create a space for yourself. Like, I have so many mothers and so many women and who keep asking me that. They really want to do something. They really want to figure out what is it that they can do. They really want to monetize their time. They want to be financially independent. They want to discover who they really are. They have this feeling that, you know, feeling of living an aimless life. They feel that they are very, they have a lot of skills, but they're not being able to use it in the right fashion. So if you have any questions, if you have anything, this is a very, very good time to actually get clarity. And Pooja is the best person to actually help you. I'm so excited to learn from her because she's learned from the best and I get to learn from her. So I'm really, really excited to host her and I'm just going to add and invite Poo. Hi, Pooja, how are you?

Hi. Thank you for that beautiful introduction.

Right. I think I didn't do justice because you do a lot more than I actually spoke about and it is so wonderful having you here. I'm really, really happy that you agreed to come live with me and Pooja. I have so many questions for you, but the first thing that I want to ask is, like, what really inspired you to start Life by Design? That's a company. I forgot to mention that in the introduction. Like I said, I must have definitely missed something. So she has a company. It's called Life by Design. So Pooja, it's a beautiful name and I absolutely love it. So if you could just tell us a little about what inspired you to actually start it and how did your journey as a life coach, as a business coach start? And yes, sure.

So actually the whole thing started me getting married really young. I was leaving for Cardiff Law School and I was 18 years old. Super excited, very ambitious and something happened in my family and my parents got me married. And for the first five years, I was just struggling with trying to fit in, trying to please them, trying to make them happy, you know, all the things we do. And I felt so stuck, like, you know. So one day came, I just went up to my husband and I said, sweetheart, while you're great, there's so much I want to do with my life and being in this joint family, I don't know how to manage that, so I want to leave. He was really sweet. He was like, what is it you want to do? You know, why don't you do it from here and then go become financially independent? So he came out to be a nice guy. So I said, okay, fine, I want to start a preschool. So I'm going to study for it because I didn't have education. And that was one of my big, you know, like, things that was keeping me back, that I'm not educated. I'm not educated until. Not got my degree even now.

So.

But anyway, at that point of time, of course, that was a big deal for me. So studied something in Montessori, started my preschool. Preschool actually did really well. I had over 100 children in less than maybe three months of starting the school.

Wow.

Really well. Yeah. And then, you know, counseling parents there, I realized what I absolutely, absolutely love is actually counseling even more than teaching the children. So eventually I flew to America to study under Jack Canfield, if you've heard his name, Chicken Soup.

Yes, I have.

He's my mentor and he's amazing. So studied under him for about two years, came back and started life by design, pretty much with the purpose that now that I'm happy again and now that I've been able to find myself, I want to dedicate my life. My mission is to help other women do the same to. Because I realized all that while that I'd been blaming and complaining to God, to in laws, to parents, to husband, I didn't leave anyone. You know, I really realized that had. I just had more courage and more clarity when I fell off track, if somewhere I had been able to find my own identity, I would have come back on track much faster. But I kept staying in that negative space way too long.

Wow. Wow.

So, yeah, that's pretty much.

Yeah, it's a beautiful story. And I feel it takes a lot of courage to actually go away for two years and decide, go, come, go, come.

It was a. It was one and a half year program, but I had to every three months, go for two weeks.

Okay, okay. But it's amazing that you actually decided to act and you decided to come out of that whole negative space of complaining and cribbing and feeling bad about not being able to do it.

So very big deal then. Because I remember my husband saying, I've never checked into a hotel alone, so can you just guide me? Like, how do we do that? I mean, it's crazy the kind of things, you know, like, that can stop us from. The reason I gave the name Life by Design was simply because everyone kept telling me, accept your destiny. Be grateful you have a fabulous man, fabulous family, lovely two children, good amount of money. And I, every night would be crying myself to sleep that I don't know who I am. I don't know who I am. And I felt so ungrateful. So when I was like, I don't want to accept my destiny. I want to create my life by design, that's how the name also got into so beautiful.

And from not going to a hotel alone, now you help over 10,000 women. It's a beautiful journey, and I'm so glad that you actually took the step and you've empowered so many women. And I have a small community of mothers, and I'm sure a lot of you are wanting and they're already sending you hearts. So I'm sure they really want to learn from you. And I've prepared a few questions which I feel will really help them. And then we'll also open this to the audience and we take some questions from them. So the first question that I have for you is that what do you exactly mean by living your life by design? And how do you really manifest what you really want? Because that's what your whole mission is, right? Like the mission behind your company. So how do you really design that?

I believe that, like a farmer and God have to play in tandem for him to sow the seeds so that God can grow the seeds the same way we are co authoring our life with God, you know, so every step of the way, we have a willpower or a choice or always an option that we have to use for whatever we want to do. And then, you know, God plays one move in the chess game, we play one move. Some of us believe it's all God deciding, some of us believe it's all us deciding. I think it's a bit of both. So the whole Life by Design concept comes that, you know what, you play the role that's in your hands and then allow God to respond, and depending on how he responds, then you respond rather than react, which is a major part of it as far as manifestation is concerned. Of course, I mean, the Secret has done such a big favor to us in actually explaining how it should be done. For me, it's more about staying in a positive space. Like when you're vibrating at a level where you are connected to the universe and you don't, I won't say, don't allow negativity to hurt you, but recover back quickly. So if I used to have a fight with my husband, I used to have a two day cold war at one point. Then it became one day, then six hours, then four hours. Now we can manage it in 15 minutes. The shorter the period of time you stay in that low vibration space, the more you will allow things to, you know, come to you. And of course having clarity of intent. So clarity on one side, high vibration, you marry these two. For me, that's basically manifestation.

Wow, that's beautiful. Clarity and vibrate at a positive level. That's really, really nice. Also, like right now because of the pandemic, you know, like a lot of us are actually, especially women, I feel, because a lot is actually expected out of them in terms of managing the house and work, if they are working professionals or if they're running their own businesses. And a lot of women, I have to say this, have really done a lot and they've used this time productively and have also created some very beautiful activities and products for kids and have used their skill. But there are many who are still struggling and because maybe because they don't have a good enough support system, we are all not very, very lucky and blessed with that kind of a support system. So what is it that you can actually, what is it that you recommend that they can do to feel better during this time? And also if they really want to do something with their life, how is it like what should be the first step for them?

Beautifully put. Riddhi. So true that, you know, right now women are really suffering. I always in my webinars speak about how they're giving double duty, triple duty, because while children were supposed to be in school, husbands are supposed to be at work in laws were supposed to go play for whatever, whatever. They were supposed to keep busy. And now everyone's in our territory, right? So we are like literally, you know. So I always say the first thing we have to do is become a lot more kind to ourselves. We are way too kind to others and then we just forget to be kind to ourselves. So in spaces like this, setting boundaries become very Important. You know, we are all the time allowing other people to take us for granted, thinking that if we say yes this time, next time they'll be nice to us. The real truth is we are actually conditioning other people into treating us the way we are being treated. I also always tell my mom, you give us the hot chapati, you give dad the hot chapati. And there came a day when we wouldn't even ask her. The three of us will eat up the hot chapati and then the last chapati will go to her, or she'll be at the backseat of the Innova because that's how she wanted to project her love. But in the process, there came a time when she herself started to feel bitter because no one was caring for her. And I think a lot of us women are conditioned to adjust, compromise, tolerate, all of that. So I think first we have to start to value ourselves. We have to start to say they are important, but I am equally important, you know? And one of the mantras I always speak about is I'd rather you be guilty than bitter. What that basically means is that instead of saying yes and then feeling all that resentment, I would rather you say no. And now we're all good people, so we feel guilty because we are not saying no. But we can always compensate according to what suits us. So if my mother in law, let's say, calls me and says, sweetheart, I have a kitty, can you come up? And I'm like, no, mom, I'm going into a meeting, but can I send you two salads instead? Or, you know, is it okay if I join you in the later half of the day? And most of the time she's okay with it. And even if she's not, I'll compensate later. But at least I didn't say yes. Because if I said yes and gone up, this is how I'd be sitting. That's a lot of us spending the whole day with that grumpy face because we haven't said enough number of no's as far as what you can do in this Covid period. While I'm thinking learning is one of the best things someone can do right now. I mean, the whole self help education world is gone to the next level. Lot of people are doing a lot of stuff where you can actually enroll yourself into art classes, Mandela classes, Zumba classes. I mean, you're doing such a fabulous job with just parenting. That in itself is a topic that I think all of us need. At least I wish I'd had now my kids are 18 and 21. But as I was growing up, I remember going like, I'm not speaking about parenting till my children don't grow up to be the kind of children, then I'll see if I can give advice. So hats off to you. So like that. I just feel like right now learning is something a lot of women can spend time on. So. So that when the world opens up now, that new skill set or that upgraded skill set can actually be used. And if zoom is a form of any knowledge giving, like if you discover a passion where you are giving knowledge to the world, then I can tell you in my webinars now I'm having people from cities I haven't heard of in India. They will put it in chat box and I'll be like, wow, my geography is really bad because it will be some small city next to Agra or some, you know, in like the maybe the eastern states and I won't know the names of those. And I'm like, wow, look at how grateful we should be that the world's become so open now and has amplified. So anyone in the knowledge giving space, I can assure you right now the kind of money my tribe members are making because of the reach is also like really transformational.

Right? Right. And this is very likely, like you rightly said that use this time to educate yourself. And, and I have actually experienced this firsthand because I was in a retail business and of course because of COVID you know, everything was on pause and nothing was really moving. And that's when I got introduced to multiple digital courses also read a lot. And I feel it definitely opened a new space for me which I had never imagined that I would really be in. And I feel that if you can really educate yourself, trust yourself and take action. And also one very beautiful thing that you mentioned was that value yourself. I absolutely love that Pooja. And I also tell the same to my parents that learn to value because what we do as mothers is that, you know, we go on compromising and when you are always compromising, you also start to expect at that level your expectations really build up. And you know, people don't always deliver just like you do and when they don't, really hurts you. So I always tell parents that, you know, if you want to feed your baby, if you feel it's going to take one hour, you feed yourself first. Make sure you have the energy. Don't feel like, you know, don't feel guilty about not feeding your baby and sitting with a plate and eating. And I always do that. You know, Before I start feeding my son, I make sure that I'm well fed so that when I'm feeding him, I'm not irritated. And, you know, I have more patience and all of that. So it's very, very important that you take care of yourself. And you're not being guilty. You're just being a little practical and sensible. I absolutely loved it. Loving this conversation. And the next question that I have is about financial planning. So lot of women are actually working, they're making good money. Some of them are having good savings because of the family that they belong to. But I feel that the financial habit, mostly among women, is not very active. You know, they're not saving and they're not investing, or even if they could, they don't trust that they would put the money in the right place. So if you could just share some tips about where can they start, how can they start? If they have a certain budget or if they want to save something for the child's future or for their own retirement, how could they do it?

No, absolutely. I think first, even before they start doing a financial plan, I feel like they need to start to create a better relationship with money. Like, when I'm dealing with a lot of women, one of the things I'm seeing is that money is such a taboo topic because of our cultural conditioning on, you know, money doesn't grow on trees, or it's evil, or it makes you feel greedy, or rich people are bad people, or you will become arrogant, or, you know, we've just had so many. So many of these sentences that I think we have such a major disconnect with money that first thing we have to do is change our relationship with money. And one of the things I always encourage women to do is start writing letters to money. Like, just go, dear Money, it's so lovely to have you over. You know, when you're in my house, everybody feels so secure, and there's a general level of happiness that's so much better. And I respect you and you respect me, and when you stay in my house, I'll keep you properly. And, you know, just. Just start to have that conversation, because I feel like for too long we've been told that, you know, don't chase it. You're. You're simplistic or you're always wanting jewelry, bags, shoes. And we've been accused. So I feel like in our DNA, there's a little bit of shame around money. And that's kind of like, you know, and having said that, if you already have a great Relationship with money then definitely like one of the systems I follow is the jars system where you can put like some money allotted to any form of investment which becomes your untouchable money. Like don't touch it, invest it and forget about it. There's one which is for your expenses and there's one for your splurges. So and then it all depends on you what division you want to do. In my untouchable I also just have one kuti jar which a small jar. In Tamil we say kuti small jar which, which is for charity. So like about 10% in charity, 40 to 50% in investments, maybe 20, 30% in expenses. And then the balance all goes to splurges like travel or something expensive that you want to collect and buy and any of that and these percentages can keep variating depending on what income level you've grown to. And you want to eventually make the big jar, the investment jar. But in the beginning it's possible that expenses is your biggest jar. Slowly, slowly want to grow your income to a place where, you know, splurges and investments become the bigger jars. And it's a journey, you know, it's a journey. But I think women are rather wise with money. Honestly speaking. I think jugaad as a word. I just love the Indian woman because I feel like one rupee you give us and we can make it 10 rupees. We know how to haggle, we know how to save, we know how to get the best value for money. So generally. And we are the biggest consumers, right? We are the ones doing all the purchases. So women have a great sense of money. They just don't have a great relationship with maths most of the time. So numbers, accounts maybe that you're not comfortable with, but actually with money, we have a great relationship. So if you can recognize that and start to get confident around wanting to learn the jargon of saving and all of that, I think in a month we are smart enough to know the five, six things that we need to know to become super smart in financial planning.

Right? Right. Also like the next question that we have that I have for you, and this is actually a most popular question that I get from, from most parents is how do I balance work and home? Like, you know, I'm struggling, I'm trying my best, but I feel that I'm failing. That's, you know, the common complaint that I'm trying my best, but it's impossible, especially because of COVID So what is that one thing that you could recommend all the women and the audience watching this.

One of the things I mentioned is that, you know what? Don't look for balance, look for harmony. And I'll explain the difference. Balance says every day you need to spend that many number of hours at work, that many hours with your children, that many hours in all your relationships or maybe attending to home, that becomes very hard because every day is a new day, every day is a different day. There can be a day where my son, who's living with me in my house, I may not see him the whole day. And by 7 o' clock I'm like, oh my God, you know, I've not seen him the whole day. It's okay. Maybe it was one of those days where I was delivering from 9 to 5 and I'm also exhausted. Over the month you can always create the harmony of asking yourself, who in this month has got ignored? Like on the 1st of every month I ask myself, who am I guilty towards? Who has got ignored? And then I go, okay, this month my younger one is going to get more attention than everything else. So I'm prioritizing him consciously. And then can I tell you, most of the time when he gets over prioritized, by the end of the month I'm like, I'm done overspending. Of course he's also turning 18, so you know, that's the age of course want you to be too sticky also. So for me then I realized, okay, now I can back off. And maybe now this month my mom in law needs more attention or my husband needs more attention. And like that, you know, in the orchestra all the instruments don't play together. There's some instrument that you play now and then one later. And that's how the beautiful music gets created. So very important is that you know what all of us look for. Okay, who do I need to attend to? Instead of feeling guilty, start using guilt as feedback. So you're asking yourself, okay, I'm feeling guilty towards this person, this person I need to attend to, not oh my God, I haven't spent time, no, I'm going to spend time and then so much easier to handle your own guilt also, right?

Yes, that's beautiful. So basically from the thinking mode, shift to the action mode, use your guilt to act and not to just think and feel bad. And it's very, very beautiful. And the next question that I have for you is how like, you know, like a lot of parents, they feel, especially women, they feel that, you know, they have a lot of skills, they have all the talent and but they don't know what to do with the skills. What's the next step? You know, they might feel that I'm good. I have a degree in mba or I've, you know, you know, I've done a Masters in Economics. I've done this. But then I got married. I have no work experience. And you are a. You are like a phenomenal experience. Like an example. I mean, because you've not got any work X. And also, you were married without having a degree, but you've still managed to do so much. So I just want you to tell the audience that you don't really always need a DVD or work experience to do something with your life. So if you could just tell them what is it that they can do?

You know, for me, women are like diamonds. They are so multifaceted. We are. We are so, like, I don't think we can be put in one box. Rather, I to get bored every two years. And I need to reinvent myself because I think for us, most women, ideas are, like, popping by the hour, forget by the weeks, by the like. I remember there was a time when my husband used to be like, please, not a new idea. Because I get so excited. But, you know, whole week I'll remain excited till doubt and fear and overwhelm and competition and everything will start to become obvious to me. And I'm like, that was not such a good idea. And I'll move to the next idea and the next idea till I read this quotation, which I really like, by Marie Foulio, which says, clarity does not come from thought, it comes from engagement. And, you know, anytime we are keeping the thought in our mind and we're getting excited and we're not doing anything about it. Ideas are like butterflies. If you don't use them, they're gonna move to the next person, then they're gonna move to the next person. So you literally have to capture it and make it your own. And the only way to do that is to start to engage with it. So at one point I was like, I wanna become a makeup artist. And I went and did three days under one particular famous makeup artist. He would come to Chennai. And after three days, I realized that's not my game at all. Because it was all in the evening, it was all models. They were all, you know, smoking. Different kind of things. It was. And I come from a conservative family, so it just didn't match. Every time my children were coming home or my husband coming home, I was having to leave. So it just didn't Match. So sometimes you have to engage with something. Just because I'm passionate about makeup doesn't mean that, you know, now, had I tried brides or had I tried, you know, regular people, maybe it would have worked out. I don't know. But what I'm trying to say here is that, okay, even realizing something is not for you is one step closer to knowing what is for you. Passion is always. My analogy is always. It's like marrying a man. You know, you don't know whether it's the right thing, but you take a calculated risk. You go on a date with three guys, and then you say, I think this is the one I like. Same with passion. You explain two, three of your passions, and then you say, okay, I don't know if this is the right thing. Because you can never know. Just the way you don't know whether the man you're marrying is right, the chances are a month later you're gonna say, oh, God, I wish I'd chosen the other one, you know, and that what you do then. Then you make the man right. You don't know whether he was right, but you make the man right. The same with passion. The deeper you go into it, the more gates keep opening, and then you actually, in that, find what it is that you really would love to do. Like, had I not opened my preschool and counseled parents, I may have never reached knowing that, you know, counseling is for me. So opening the school was not the wrong step. It was one of the steps, right? So I just tell women, go and engage with things, you know, because life is like an onion. You unfold one layer, the next layer becomes visible. You unfold the next one, next one becomes visible.

Wow. This is so beautiful. And I absolutely loved what you said that you have to keep trying. And I feel like, you know, when you're speaking, it feels like, you know, you're speaking about my journey. Because, of course, you know, I also tried multiple things and, you know, like this butterfly idea. Like, you know, like, ideas keep coming. You need to execute it. And sometimes, you know, in the past, I feel that I had ideas. I just didn't pen them down. But this year, I have been actually penning everything down to make sure that, you know, if not immediately, at least eventually, I can get give back to them. So it's very, very beautiful. And also one thing that I really love, that you mentioned that once you discover that this is something that's not for you, that's also one step closer to what you really want to be, because you Do a lot of things and then you understand, okay, this is not true. Me or true riddhi. And you know it's happened with me in my previous businesses. I was doing it, I felt I was happy, you know. But now that I'm doing doing this and you know there's a corner of me that says yeah, I'm so glad that it ended when it was ending. It was a devastating period, you know, for a few months because you put in so much effort building it up. But now I feel that I'm so happy and this is a much happier place. So I feel like taking action is definitely very, very important and this was so wonderful. And I have. Let's see if we have some questions from the audience. I think it's filled with praises for you Pooja. So I. All my questions are hiding because of people sending so many beautiful messages for you.

So sweet of them.

Let me just see if we have questions. We did have a few but now on Instagram it's very tricky. It keeps moving up and down.

That's true, that's true.

I did see a few while you were talking. So I'm just trying to find those.

Thank you. Thank you Ms. Life Coach. So sweet of you. Somebody saying Hindi. Me bolo. Can you speak?

Yeah, very fluent. I speak Hindi at home. So very fluent.

I live in clients, English speaking. So.

Okay.

I'm just doing it for Sujith. I hope you're happy in the meantime. Thank you Bhakti. Thank you Suchiriya. Discover inner magic.

There's one question from Suchi Rhea. How can ladies cut expenses like if they want to? There's one about cryptocurrency but I think that's not what we are discussing so we can skip that. That's again from such.

Yeah. I've invested in bitcoin and it's fallen really badly these days. So it is the perfect time to invest in bitcoin. So I think cryptocurrency is going to be the way forward. There's no doubt about that. As far as cutting expenses are concerned, you're asking the wrong person. I always say this, don't cut expenses, raise your income, focus on making money rather than how to reduce the expenses. Because you know what, I think too many of us are squeezing dry. And you know what happens when you go overvaluing money? Then you can actually land up being pennywise pound foolish. So I always talk about look at how can you earn more. You know that's more my motto than really saving money.

Right. And you know this Is something that I always keep telling my husband that I can only give you one thing, and that is incentive to make more by spending all your money.

I love it. I love it.

He's always making fun of.

Your husband. So. Good. Yeah.

And I think, Pooja, we've. Okay, one second. That's how to feel confident. Yeah. So this is a very nice question, and this is something that a lot of parents have actually asked me. Like, you know, like, they were initially very confident and very, very thing about their selves, but because after marriage, some of them decide to take a break or because the family situation is such that, you know, they cannot resume work. And because. Or they decide to quit work for a few years when the kids are small. And now that they want to resume after five, six years, or sometimes it's even longer, 10 years, they feel very underconfident. They feel that the skill set is missing. They feel that, you know, nobody is really going to hire them or they'll not be able to do much with their life. So how can they actually, you know, feed that confidence and feel that they can do it?

Absolutely. I mean, I think that's most of us at some point where we have fallen off track and, you know, now we need to. The education that we have is not serving us anymore. And then, you know, we don't know where to go from here. So I always say two ways of describing confidence. One is taking small steps outside of your comfort zone, accomplishing those steps, or risks, rather small risks. So every day take one small risk. Ask yourself, what makes me very uncomfortable? And go and do that. And as you keep doing that, you will keep gaining your confidence. So many times I've heard people say, you know, when I get confident, then I will. That's like saying, you know what, I'll join the gym when I'm strong. Doesn't work like that. It's the opposite you have to do to get confidence is a muscle. So every day you have to do something and you feel more confident, then you go back, do a little more, then you get more confident, then you do, and it keeps going like that. And there comes a day when you feel, like, supremely confident. And to me now, confidence is more about knowing that not that you will not make any mistakes, but that you can handle those mistakes that you will make and that you will be okay at the end of the day. So if we can all gain our confidence coming from a place of that, what's the worst case scenario? Okay, this is what happens, like, every time I have to go on Instagram, I'm like, what if my Internet goes off? You know? And so for one minute, you're like, oh, my God, how will that play out? And, like, doesn't matter. I borrow my son's phone and I'll do it. I'll connect to 4G. I'll do something. And then you. You know, I'm not a very tech savvy person. One of the things I've had to do this whole year is learn, zoom, learn, PPTs, learn. I mean, teachable. Learn so many different apps today that you need to learn and, you know, explore having to learn all of that. Now I've understood, okay, whatever will show up, I will learn. I'm not tech, but whatever will show up, I will learn, you know, So I think for me now, confidence is all about being okay, not knowing and taking those small risks every day and building yourself up on a daily basis.

Right? Right. No, and this is very, very right, Pooja, because I experienced this this year. So I can exactly feel what you're saying that, you know, like, I. Because I built my own website and I was, you know, technologically, I was, like, handicapped. You know, even the TV remote, I used to always give it to my husband, can you please put this channel for me? I felt that I had that handicap till, you know, I decided to take the plunge and I decided that I'm going to do this. It cannot be that challenging. And even if it is challenging, I'm gonna try and still do it. And. And I feel that once you take the plunge, you somehow get through and get on with it. So definitely red definitely really, really works. And there's this question. I think the name is not there, but the question is, how did you decide? How do you decide on what you really want to do with your life? Like, you know, some of us don't know what our niche is, what our skill set is, what we'll be good at. You know, it's. Some of us understand that, you know, this is something that I'll be good at or this is something that I like to do. But some of us really want to do a lot with our life. We just don't know what to do.

In the beginning. Just follow your joy, you know, make a list of things that give you joy. One of the things I land up doing with a lot of my clients is called the Passion Test. It was done by. It's done by a lady called Janet Attawood. And basically what she makes you do is write down the 10 things that if Your life was perfect. What would your life look like? So, you know, I'll write things like I'll be traveling, I'll be spending time with my husband, being there for my kids, building my business, doing different courses like that. I'll make a full list of if my life was perfect, what would I be doing? And then I'll take out my top five and see how much of it am I already living. And that kind of gives me a rough idea on how correctly aligned I am with my life, you know, and then I'll just go like, okay, let me see, how can I improve each one of these? So let's say, you know, how can I spend more time with my husband? How can I. What else can I do to build my business? How can I make sure I'm available to my children? And just because these are the things that matter to me, they give me joy and they are important. So when you do things like this on a repeated at least once a month, I recommend exercises of reflection that, you know, you just sit down and go, okay, what do I like? I remember the first time I did this. I wrote I love reading. The next time I did the passion test, I wrote I love reading nonfiction books. Then I wrote I love reading self help books. And that's how I realized that actually self help at that point in 2000 only existed in books. So that's how I was getting so attracted to the work there. And then just kept going and said, I love making my own book club and having my friends discuss these self help books with me. And then gradually I realized that, oh my God, this is my topic. So I feel like we give up too fast. It's like we are waiting. So many of us are perfectionists by heart and that's one of our problems, you know, because what we are doing is we are thinking the day I know for sure that if I start, only then I will start. You can never know for sure anything in your life, you know. Then how will you know about passion? What I do know is if you follow your joy long enough, passion will show up. And if you follow your passion long enough, purpose will show up, you know? And all you have to keep asking yourself is, is this meaningful for me? Was my day meaningful today? Did I have a good time? You know, do I wake up with energy? Do I feel happy in my life? I think if you can answer yes more and more yeses to these kind of questions, the chances are you are on track. If you are saying things like I have bad luck, I'M so jinxed. I'm surrounded by negative people. Nothing works out for me. Then the chances are you've lost the plot somewhere and you're going in a different direction than where you're supposed to go. And so you need to turn that boat around. And again ask yourself, what are my dreams and desires? And start to acknowledge, I always say be selfish, to be selfless, you know, in the beginning, right? In the beginning, when you start to play with your passions for some time, you're going to have to indulge in them and maybe not be available to the people who are who've gotten very used to you being available. So you will feel a little selfish. Most of us, we give up the passion to attend to others. I'm saying keep the passion long enough that someday it starts to monetize and then the same people who are coming.

No, this is really, this is something that I also always advocate that set the right expectation. Expectations, you know, don't be a person who wants to please everybody. And sometimes what we do is we set the wrong expectations and then people don't know how to behave with us because, you know, for them it's normal for us. But you are going against your true nature to do it for them. So I feel you cannot do that for too long. It's not a sustainable plan. And I love what you mentioned about joy, passion and purpose. That's beautiful. And I think that's a great start. So guys like Pooja recommended. If you're stuck, follow whatever makes you happy. Take the plunge, get started. And if you try hard, you will definitely find more doors and you'll definitely end up in a space that you'll be very proud of. So I love this. Pooja and Pooja, one last question. And this is a question that I have for everybody that I go live with. One tip that you have for everybody who's watching this now and who's going to be watching this once we save this?

Just anything?

Just any one tip. Yeah. Because I'm gonna share it in the caption. It's gonna go like tip from Pooja. And then that's something that, you know, that's mostly for me because I feel I learned so much through these lives. It's amazing.

No, I think I like to say this to myself every day. So I'm just going to share with you what I say to myself every day. I am responsible for my own happiness, you know, so I'm going to give that as the message to everybody today that just, you know what, stop Looking at someone else to come into your life to please you or make you happy. They don't know and they will do what they think is love for them. So they may not. They may love you, but they may not love you your way. So instead of, you know, holding that against the world, pretty much everybody, our children are not doing this and our husbands and I think so many of us are living in so much anger inside because the world is not meeting our expectations. I think just telling yourself every day I am responsible for my own happiness and then go do something to make yourself happy, whatever it is, you know. And every day if you just work on your own happiness instead of being a sucker for or needy for, you know, approval and appreciation and acknowledgement and all of those things you will become the giver of all of that. And the law of spirituality says that what you give out, you get multifolds. You know, in materialistic world what you give out you get, you have less of. Like if you give money to someone, you have less of. But if you give love to someone, respect to someone, appreciation, compliments, it only keeps coming back multifolds. So look at what is missing in your life and just up the game of giving it to more people. And just watch the amount of new energy that will get formed in your own life.

Right? This was beautiful, Pooja. I absolutely loved it. I feel very charged up after speaking with you. It was amazing. And everybody follow. You're watching this. Please go follow Pooja. I'm sure you've already done it but you still, if you still have it, you must. Because she can transform your life. And she's done it for so many. So she can definitely do it for you. She also has class. Pooja, can you quickly also share a little about the courses that you have? Because you know some. Some of them might actually be interested. I forgot to ask you that. But if you could just mention a little about your webinars and the courses that you have for women.

Sure, absolutely. I mean we do I every weekend. So this Sunday, this Saturday. Sorry, this Saturday we have a four hour session. So anyone looking to work on their identity on to work on their relationship with money and wanting to, you know, become financially free and start to get the respect they know they deserve but are yet not getting. Then we have a lovely four hour masterclass this Saturday. It's called Designing youg Life in under four hours. So we'll share the link under this video once you post it. I'll ask someone from my team to share the link.

I think the link is not clickable on Instagram. So what people can do is they.

Really can go to my bio. So if they just go.

Right, exactly.

Then they can just go. The link is in the bio also. So they can just go click it there and register for it. I would love to see you and have you four hours just with me. It'll be lovely.

Right? Perfect. Thank you so much, Pooja. It was lovely hosting. You had a great, great time.

Thank you so much, Riddhi and so happy and honored to be here. You are such a charming, beautiful. Your aura, so gorgeous. So it was absolutely fabulous. I feel like we are some soul sisters from some other birth.

Yes. Thank you so much. It was really nice having you here, Pooja. Thank you.

All right.