A caller (Prachi) describes living in a joint family where her sister-in-law—diagnosed with depression—and her mother-in-law frequently shout and create chaotic scenes that scare her two-year-old daughter. The coach advises against leaving, recommends accepting family members as part of the environment while maintaining mental distance, using patience, gratitude, and spiritual framing (karma), and building supportive attachments to protect the child and the caller's wellbeing.
I live in a joint family and I'm too blessed to have every everything. The only problem that I am facing is my sister in law. She's a depression patient. She have left. Left her in laws and she have came back after two months of my marriage. She lives here. She do many. And I have my daughter. She is two years old. My mother in law is also somewhat like. Like she do tantrums and all. She creates a very worse situation for us. I tried to move out from this place. But my father in law was like he begged in front of me like I want you kids to be here with us. You can't leave me like that. And my husband also like I won't leave my father in such situation. So how. How could I protect myself and my child from such situation? Like they do so much of Tamash in front of my daughter and me. It was. It was. It was okay. But how to protect my child from this?
Like what Tamasha do they do?
See she is like depression patients. If. If my mother in law tells her to do something she starts shouting so loudly that my daughter gets scared. And my mother in law is also like that. If. If ever I tell her that I want. I want to do this and want to do that. So she also starts screaming. Correct.
So I will tell you one thing Prachi. That you know running away is never an option. You know you run away thinking that you're protecting yourself. But you're actually creating a.
They do so much of Tamasha in front of my daughter and me. It was. It was. It was okay. But how to protect my child from this?
Like what Tamasha do they do?
See she is like depression patients. If. If my mother in law tells her to do something she starts shouting so loudly that my daughter gets scared. And my mother in law is also like that. If. If ever I tell her that I want. I want to do this and I don't want to do that. So she also starts screaming.
Correct. So I will tell you one thing Prachi. That you know running away is never an option. You know you run away thinking that you're protecting yourself. But you're actually creating a bigger problem for yourself. So understand. You know when you get married you don't get married to the man. You get married to the family.
Exactly.
Husband. Kaye family. Maybe it is not the perfect family. Maybe they have their issues, right? So instead of saying that.
Ma', am, I try. I try. I have supported him a lot. And I have supported my father in law also a lot. Then I Tried to. I have tried for my daughter. I have tried for my sister in law. So that she can come out of that. I take two shins. So I told her come sit with me. We'll do it together.
No need. See again. You know, you maintain your distance from her. You don't have to get too sticky with her. But you know I'll accept her as a part of the environment now. Now once you accept her you can figure out what is it that you can do to make your life better with her in it. You call Bua, right?
Yes. Yes.
You have to learn how to be a kind person. Like.
Okay. Thank you, ma'. Am. It's been very good to be here. I've. Like last year when I took platinum members. No sorry. Gold membership. I was very depressed. I used to take even sleeping pills at that. That moment. So as soon I came across. But I stopped taking sleeping pills also. And I tried. I am here to be. To be with him. At the end. He is the one who. Who is for me and I am for him. We have to be for each other. Like they do so much of Tamasha in front of my daughter and me. It was. It was. It was okay. But how to protect my child from this?
Like what Tamasha do they do?
See, she is like depression patients. If. If my mother in law tells her to do something she starts shouting so loudly that my daughter gets scared. And my mother in law is also like that. If. If ever I tell her that I want. I want to do this and I don't want to do that also start screaming. Correct.
So I will tell you one thing Prachi. That you know running away is never an option. You know you run away thinking that you're protecting yourself. But you're actually creating a.
They do so much of Tamasha in front of my daughter and me. It was. It was. It was okay. But how to protect my child from this?
Like what Tamasha do they do?
See, she is like depression patients. If. If my mother in law tells her to do something she starts shouting so loudly that my daughter gets scared. And my mother in law is also like that. If. If ever I tell her that I want. I want to do this and I don't want to do that. So she also starts screaming. Correct.
So I will tell you one thing Prachi. That you know running away is never an option. No. You run away thinking that you're protecting yourself. But you're actually creating a first.
I used to scream on him. You would tell her I won't I won't take it anymore. But I started writing gratitude also. And it feels good. I'm blessed to have you. I'm seriously very blessed to have you.
No. And I just want to say Prachi, you're a beautiful soul. So you don't have to worry situations. So it's a test. And how is Prachi going to do? What is Prachi going to do? Is she going to run away from all of it? Or is she going to stay and do her best? This is spirituality, you know. Spirituality. Spirituality. Life may challenges.
I've learned. I've. I've heard something from your courses only. It's our karma that I am here. It's my karma. And I like. I keep. I keep patience. But there's a point that I lose patience and things get worse. Mother in law, she shouts a lot. That my father in law, my husband. They get scared even. There's a time that they even get scared from me. Yeah.
So when they shout a lot you just need to relax. When she shouts. You've understood that her nature is to shout. See, you can feel scared the first time. You can feel scared the second time. But third time you understand that this is her.
Since I want to keep Torah distance. So how can I. Like we live in the same household.
You live in the same house. The physical distance you cannot create too much. Mentally you can distance yourself.
How can I create my entire distance? Yeah.
By attaching yourself with other bigger things in life.
