Relationship Reset Bootcamp

Okay. Yeah. We are live on YouTube. Yes. So the next question that I want to answer is a question that a lot of you have. Will my husband ever, can I ever change my husband? And my answer to that is you cannot change. But they can change. Okay? Is this clear? So you cannot change them. But it's not like they cannot change. They will shift. But you cannot make force that change to happen. But you can change the way you respond to the same partner. Because see what you are doing initially you can only control that. So supposing your husband is smoking and every day you are going on saying smoking, chori, smoking, chhori, it's not good for your health. It's not good. It's not good. We have child, we have family, we have so many responsibilities. Quit smoking. I'm very worried. Quit smoking. Quit. You are doing the same thing every day. So how will you get a different result? You want a different result? You have to change the way you respond to the same situation. Write this equation. E R equals O. E is the event. R is your response to that event equals O. O stands for outcome. So supposing an event has taken place in your life, you cannot change that event. So supposing your husband has ocd, it's an event. Now you cannot change that. But you can change only one variable in this equation, that is R. If you can change R, the O which is the outcome will automatically change. But the problem is most of us try to change O and E. You're either trying to change the event or you're trying to change the outcome. But E and O you cannot control directly. The only thing you can control is R. So I'll give you a small example. So let's say Anjali and I, both of us have let's say hypothetically identical husbands, let's say. So Anjali's husband is also very hot headed, short tempered, let's say. And let's say my husband is also very short tempered, hot headed. But Anjali has learned about relationships. So when her husband is shouting, screaming, she's staying very calm and she's allowing him to express and get it out of his system. And later, you know, maybe after two, three hours she's just having a conversation with her husband and saying that, you know, I would feel better if we speak a little more. You speak to me a little more softly. I understand you are angry sometimes. But you know, when you're speaking in that volume, I'm not able to register. So she responded with calmness. Now imagine my identical husband also Comes home and shouts and screams. And I also start shouting. And I start saying how dare you speak with me like this. You're not the only one who's working. I'm also working. So stop telling me that you are working and you were exhausted. And that's why you spoke with me like this. If that's the case, I will also speak with you like that. Because I'm also working a lot. So can you see now I'm operating. I'm reacting. Operating with ego, not with awareness. And I'm just reducing myself to the same level. So event is same for both of us. But the way we responded is very different. So probably in my case because I continue to respond like this, chances are four, five years later we will not be able to stand each other's face. Because it will become a habit to speak like this. And every day will become the same day of fighting, shouting. And in case of Anjali, what will happen? Because every time she is responding calmly, slowly, slowly her husband's reactive behavior will start to shift. And the husband who would once react to shout too much will slowly calm down. Because Anjali has been able to inspire him without forcing him to be that way. And by doing that, she's been able to alter her outcome completely. If you love this, put love in the chat box. Of course it happens. I've experienced it. So very easy to say that it is impossible to live with my husband. With all due respect. And both of you have been practicing the same thing for the last 10, 15, 20 years. Because of which you are getting better at shouting. And you are also becoming like him. And he is anyway he was. And he is increasing the shouting. And the outcome is getting worse every day. Because your response is getting worse even now. Even if you have been fighting, I am giving you a personal guarantee. Because I have tried this. Even if you are on the verge of divorce and if you have been fighting like cats and dogs for the last 15 years of your marriage. Even now, if you change your response and put your ego on the side, you can alter your outcome. Within one year. The same husband who cannot stand your face will take you for parties and holidays and buy you gifts and flowers. You have to forget about what he is doing and you have to focus on what you are doing when he does that. So I want all of you to write this in the chat box. I see myself. It's very easy to find faults with other people now. Today in Sankeetan, we did a very important shloka. And we listed the qualities very Powerful. Okay, so I'm just going to read out the qualities and that we should imbibe. Just one second. Let it load. See, I'll tell you the different qualities. Fearlessness, purity, spiritual knowledge, discipline, charity, self control, sacrifice, study of sacred text, austerity, simplicity, non violence, truthfulness, absence of anger, renunciation, calmness, avoiding fault, finding, compassion, absence of greed, gentleness, modesty, steadiness, vigor, forgiveness, perseverance, cleanliness, absence of malice and humility. All of these qualities. God Lord Krishna directly is telling us that we should try and bring these qualities in our life. It's like a checklist. If you want, let me see if I can copy paste this and all of you can keep it. Shivratri gift. One second. This. This is Valentine's Day gift. This checklist is a Shivratri gift for all of you. Supremely amazingly skilled. I've shared the list. Why can you not, I think why can you not learn it alone? Because your environment will always be stronger than your willpower. That's why you have to create environments like this for you to be able to make this happen for yourself. Because if you are thinking, you know all the story books on parent, all the books on parenting and all the information on parenting that we get on media, I'm not saying that it's not good or that it's not this thing relevant. Of course it is relevant. But even after reading all of that, nothing changes because you are doing it in the same environment. You have to belong to environments like this where you see other people doing it and other people able to get breakthroughs. If you agree, put A for agree in the chat box. Because there has to be hope, there has to be inspiration that it is possible. The tendency is to give up. You get an idea, you try it. Few days you don't get, you're not able to do it. You give up. Including me. Even I could have not shifted if I were trying to do it alone. In fact, I didn't because I'm a voracious reader. I read all so many books on parenting I would read online. Nothing changed until I found myself a mentor and put myself in an environment with other women. Himaja, Himaja. I just want to tell you one thing that you know, people don't change because you're also not able to change the way you look at them. You know, I have seen the most difficult people change. And it's not about just coming, but it's also about doing a small thing. From what you learn, people will change. It is impossible. You Know I will. Just because I've done this so many times, I know that the change is guaranteed. So change will happen through safety, not force. When you're creating a safe environment, when you're accepting them for who they are, then they are willing to change for you. But if you're always finding faults in them, then they don't want to change. Because they always have this feeling, no matter what I do, I'm never enough for her. If this is making sense, put yes. But if you give somebody this feeling that I love you and I care for you just the way you are, they want to do a little more for you and to make you feel happy, they are willing to bend a little, they're willing to shift a little. But if you are looking at your partner with judgment, with blame, with criticism, with dissatisfaction all the time, they don't feel safe in your company. And I'm not saying that your partner is doing all of this for you. I'm saying let even if they are not doing it, but you are able to do it. Because remember we just discussed, you cannot focus on what they are doing. Because if you are focused on what they are doing, you will copy their actions and you will become like them. And that's why most relationships, you know, the relationships that don't work out is because of this. Because people start to copy and then they just become like each other in a bad way. Ik Chota's example. You know if your child is hitting you right? You hit your child again. So what did you teach your child? You taught your child that hitting is a good thing to do. You supported the act of hitting by hitting back. So your child will continue to hit. And you have also picked up on this new practice of hitting. But if your child hits and you don't hit back and you educate your child, then next time I won't let you do this. This is not something mummy is going to allow. We don't use our hands for hitting. We use our hands to do kind things. Then your child will not hit and you will also not hit. And now I want to answer this question for you. Why do I choose a toxic relationship? What does this mean? That even though you know that the relationship is toxic and sometimes you will see financially independent women who are doing proper jobs, making their own money, their husbands are hitting them, but still they are not able to leave that husband. Now some of us might think this is crazy. Husband is hitting. You know, you will see people discuss these things. How many of you heard these kind of discussions on Media or maybe in your friends and family, you hear these kind of stories and then you're thinking, oh, she's so silly. I don't know what she sees in that man. If I were her, I would have left him long back. I would have never stayed with a person who hit me. But I understand it's not like she wants to. It's like your brain is making her be in that relationship. So I'll give you an example for you to understand this. So let's understand this very scientifically. Supposing, okay, I'm not going to take any of you from this room. Let's. Whatever. Xyz, let's give her a name. Whatever. Let's say Gita. Okay, so supposing Gita is a mother and her husband comes and slaps her and she forgives him once and then next time again he comes and this time gives her two slaps. And because she has allowed now the hitting is increasing and now she's in an, she is in an abusive marriage. Let's see. So now what happens is the minute she's getting slapped, the stress hormones in her body cortisol increases. Her nervous system is not calm anymore. So her prefrontal cortex, which is her logical brain, stops to work. And amygdala, which is responsible for her emotions, the fight, flight and freeze response. So now she is not having any happy hormones in her body. All the dopamine is gone. So stress hormone has taken over and she's in a very low phase. I didn't want to do it. They hug each other, they kiss each other. Suddenly her body gets a shot of dopamine which is a feel good hormone. It's almost like somebody is injecting happiness into her body. When they are catching up again, is everybody with me? Temporary high of happiness. She's addicted to this temporary high. So next time again, after patching up the same husband who is not able to control his hand, no, this temporary happiness stays no till the next time the hitting happens. So again he has hit her after, let's say one week or maybe three, four days again, she's feeling very low. Now what happens is the brain has created neural pathways that the only way for you to feel better is to go and hug your husband. Now it's like a drug, drug kind of a feeling in her body. Smoking, alcohol, you know it's not good, right? Nobody, everybody knows smoking is not good. They'll put one Sarava Lanka picture on the COVID You look at it and you still smoke just like that. The lady, the woman, she knows this man is not good for me. This man is not able to give me happiness. But she has no option. She is addicted to this high of getting that hug and that reunion happening which will inject dopamine into her body. So for that temporary shots of happiness, she agrees to stay in a permanent toxic relationship. And she is also not aware of what she is going through. She has no idea about what is happening inside her brain. And she's not understanding why is she going back again and again. And then what we say, we start saying things like I am still with this man because of my kids. Even if the kids were not there, you could have probably still been in the relationship because of this addiction. Now all of you understand that those women are not stupid who choose to stay. They are helpless. They are not silly. That even with money and financial independence, they are still choosing to be with that man. It's their brain, the biology inside them that is not letting them step away. Because temporary short of dopamine. Milna bando jaya kaan. And what will they do with the money if they are not feeling happy? So for them to get out of that pattern, they need to educate, they need to understand why are they going back. Then they have to, you know, just like you de addict yourself from all the other, you have to de addict yourself from this feeling. You have to find other ways to keep yourself happy. Then you're not just dependent on that reunion for your dopamine. And when you're learning, you're able to find another purpose, another reason to keep yourself happy and satisfied. Yeah, I'm sharing that. Manpreet. When you are learning having a purpose, when you're able to find different ways to give yourself dopamine and you are not dependent on your husband's hug and kiss to make you feel better after the hitting, that's when you are able to take that bold step of going to your husband and telling him enough is enough. I want to step out of this marriage. I am trying to explain this to you in a very simple way. Dependent. So we have had two, three mothers, I'm not going to take their name, who were in an abusive relationship for 20 plus years. And when they understood this pattern, they were able to take a stand for themselves. They did not forgive. And the same, they are still with the same husband. But no hitting is happening because the hitting will only continue if the husband understands that you will keep coming back in spite of the hitting. But once you have that confidence that so then that husband understands that up because even the man doesn't want to leave. He is also addicted to hitting. So he is going through his own challenges. So it's not like he doesn't like the wife. When he's hitting the wife, the love is there. So when your husband hits you, it doesn't mean that your husband is not liking you. It means temporarily, your husband's prefrontal cortex has completely shut down. He has no idea what he's doing. He's totally driven by his emotions. So he is going through his own type of problem. Clear. So this is why women choose to be in a relationship even if they are getting poor treatment and understand spiritually relationship. Why did you end up in a relationship like this? Because there were lessons that you had to learn now in a toxic relationship to be stronger, to take a stand for yourself, to learn how to set better boundaries. Do not be dependent on others for your happiness. In this toxic relationship, you have to keep coming back to a toxic relationship. So we, the partner is given to us not because God doesn't love us. It is given to us because God really loves us. And God wants you to advance spiritually or lessons, challenge. Till there are no challenges, you cannot have any lessons. So now you have given, you have been given a challenging husband so that you have this opportunity to learn these lessons. So God is not being unkind to you. You have to be very grateful that God, all of us have to be very grateful to God. Now, how many of you are teachers in this room? If you are a teacher in this room, put T for teach any, you know, a coach or a teacher. And as mothers, we are all teachers, right? So understand one thing. So supposing you are like a conventional school teacher, you're setting an exam paper. You think it's an easy thing to set an exam paper? No, it's not easy to set an exam paper. You have to think, so many kids, it should not be too difficult also. It should not be too easy also. Some questions should be challenging, some questions should be easy. Maybe for this kid. This type of questions we have to keep for these kind of children. For some extraordinarily brilliant children, we have to also have some challenge. It's a very difficult task to set a exam paper. Now imagine how much God is working for us. He's setting a unique exam paper for each and every one of us. If you think that's crazy effort, put CE unique paper. It's not like one paper for all of us. You can call God, whatever, Allah, Jesus Christ, Krishna, I call Krishna you can call Allah, anything is fine. God is God. So understand one thing. I have to create these challenges for riddhi and what do we do? We are so ungrateful. Instead of being grateful for God being so kind, paying so much attention to my life and creating these challenges so that I can learn and move to the next level we start complaining. God, why did you do this to me? God why was I did not deserve this? God, why did you take that person away from me? Now I don't believe in you. You lose somebody from your family, you lose your faith in God but you've forgotten that for 30 years God only gave that person to you. That you forget that how much he did for you for 30 years. For that, no gratitude. But in case that person has to leave and move on into the next body, we will have problems that God is bad. Now I don't believe in God. So all we can say to God is thank you for everything, for all the comfort that you experience and for all the challenges that you go through. So I want all of you to write in the chat box, thank you God, all the challenges. God has taken a lot of effort to create these challenges for you and it is for your benefit not because God doesn't care about you or God doesn't love you. Why do we send our children to school? Because we want them to learn, appear for exams, pass, learn some skills. Otherwise they'll go, do some time, pass and come out. There is nothing they will learn. So how many of you are now feeling very relaxed that everything I have is good, the comfort that I have is good, the challenges that I have is good. Because everything has been designed for me and for my growth, for my spiritual advancement. It's a challenge. It has been designed for you. Now how you face that challenge with ease, grace, calm, peace, it will decide what you will come back to in your next body. Now if you are going through that challenge with gusta, irritation, jagda ladai disrespect, Kitch, Kitch, kitch, kitch Ego. I want to be right all the time. Nothing. You will suffer in this life, you will suffer in your next body. So go through the challenge with ease, with grace, with love, with gratitude, with peace. And then you see this life will also feel better and next life will definitely be better because you have learned the lesson and you no longer will have to come back to the same toxic relationship. You cannot be in a relationship without a spiritual understanding. Impossible. If you want to have a happy relationship, you have to have this spiritual awareness of why you attracted this husband or why you got this child, why you got these in laws, same in laws, same nothing. When you get married, you're not just getting married to the man, you get married to the whole family. So you have a relationship with your mother in law, everything. So you know, I was very sure. And thank God, you know, I don't know where I got this. I had told my mom when I was little, when I was in class seven or class eight, I think I told my mom that I'm only going to marry a man after I meet the mother in law for one full day after I meet my mother in law and spend a proper day with her. Because in a marriage, your mother in law is more important than your husband. You're literally married to your mother in law more than you're married to the man. Spend more time with the mother in law. So I was like time spent. I'm not getting married to any man, no matter how good the boy is. See, because if the mother is kind, chances are child will automatically be little kind only. And even after all of that, if you still get a challenging mother in law, it's okay. It's not a challenge, it's a gift from God. So put gift. There are no challenges in life. Everything is a gift from God. Specifically custom designed, handmade for you and delivered to you. If you start to look at life like that, you will not feel any difficulty with anything. And you know, I was not able to do this, but now I can feel it. You know, earlier when I had started this journey as a coach and you know, when you start doing your master classes and everything or spending so much on ads, there were times when you know, you're doing a master class, something happened, Electricity went down, Zoom stopped working, all your money goes to waste. And I remember once it happened and I was so upset almost for a week. You know, I was like, what happened? And I was feeling scared to do another master class. I did it. But you know, there was this fear in me. And recently, I think two months ago or something, the same thing repeated. I don't know what happened. You know, Zoom, it's like a software, anything can happen. So we had spent a lot on ads. Zoom started hanging, it stopped working properly. Mother started leaving. Everybody almost left because obviously I don't blame them because it's not working. What will they even do? And they don't even know me when they come for the master class. And after that, you know, we only had to write a message in the chat and say that okay, it's not working. We'll have to shift the master class for next time. And my numbers were so, like close to zero, literally. And I burnt all my money. But this time there was no, no shift in my energy. Why? Because now I had this understanding that this is a challenge created by God to test if I'm only talking or if I actually understand what he's trying to do with me. So when that happened, I just closed my eyes and I said, thank you God. I know what you're trying to do. This is the challenge. You're testing if I'll be easy. You're testing if I will have faith in you. I have full faith in you. God's grace. I don't have to cry about what I lost. And you will not believe the next master class, we did double of what we usually do. So when you see every challenge as a gift and you keep thanking God, God himself will start removing all the challenges. Because God will understand she has learned the lesson. Lesson, lesson. As long as you're alive, you will experience challenges. Because God loves to give us gifts. God is always thinking or better. School, undergraduation, masters, PhD also, he will not stop. He will give something more. And you have to be ready for that something more. By having faith in yourself, faith in God, and by doing what you are suppose by following the principles of what. And that's why I say that, you know, learning is so important. That's why next week I have designed this boot camp which none of you should miss at any cost. I'm doing it for the first time. I'm going to share with you divine principles of parenting. Right? So it will have please mark your calendars. Even if you're like a super busy mother, you have to be there live, no recordings for this. These are extra things that I'm doing for you over and above what I had promised to you. So it's for everybody. Gold, diamond, Platinum. So this time we are doing a three day boot camp. It will be 20, 21st, 22nd. So usually I just do a platinum showcase, but this time we are doing a three day boot camp. So first two days I will teach you the divine principles of parenting. Third day I will teach you something and I will also give you a chance to become a platinum mother. If this is clear, usually I just do a two hour thing and you have to decide whether or not you want to be in platinum. This time I'm going to teach you for two days and then give you a chance to decide. Why? Because now I want to get mothers who are coming with a lot of commitment towards learning. So I want to give you two days and then come. So it will just be two, two hours, not those full day boot camps. I don't see myself doing those full day things because I really believe in return on time invested. How many of you think you got a lot of value in just one hour? If you think you got crazy value in one hour, put CV and this what you have given me one hour. If you follow what I've shared with you, you are going to save at least thousand hours over a lifetime easily. So you know, because this is my spiritual thing that I learned from my spiritual guru. Not just in terms of money, you know, if you take thousand rupees, you should give value at least 10,000 even with time. If I am taking one hour, I should at least be minimum saving 10 hours from your life. Otherwise I am taking more than I am giving. And I want all of you to operate with the same energy when you become coaches. So put s for service. Service means giving more than you're taking. Of course we have to take. Because if we don't take, we can't give. We have to also learn to receive. So we receive from elsewhere, we receive from each other, but we also give to each other. But what you give should always be more than what you take in anything. In your relationship with your child, with your husband, with your mentor, any place. Now this is something that a lot of you asked. Importance of sex in a relationship. How important it is to have sex. So I want to tell you it is very important, very, very important. Now. Why? Because understand everybody has needs. Needs. Food, clothing, shelter are necessities. How many of you have heard that? Put yes in the chat box. That food, clothing, shelter, After you're married, sex. Add that, add that to your list. So if you are a married women, your list of necessities is food, clothing, shelter, sex. Now I will add one more word. Even if you don't feel like it, all of you write this. Food, clothing. Because I know a lot of you are going to ask me this. What if I don't feel like it? That's why I'm going to make you write this. Food. This is a bulb on. Put BO in the chat box. Because for men, biologically it is a need. Maybe not so much for women, even for some women, but for men, they are designed like that by God. Now if you, your husband is hungry for sex and you are not giving him sex, he has to go somewhere else for sex. He's not going to be able to wait for you for too long, no matter how much he loves you. It's just like your husband comes from work and he's hungry for food. And for 10 days in a row you're saying, nai khana melega, I'm so sorry baby, I forgot to cook for you. I'm so sorry I forgot to cook for you. Oh, I was so busy in this meeting, I was not able to cook for you. What will happen? He'll start ordering from outside. Just like that. He comes home and you're not giving him sex, he's going to start having to order from other places. I'm going to come to the opposite also. If the message has been received, put Mr. In the chat box. So sometimes, even if you have to do it as an actual, as a performance, you do it. Just like you sometimes cook when you don't feel like it, Even when you are sick, you go to the kitchen, you make food because you have to feed your child, you have to feed your family. So understand, it is very important. And it is not just a physical act. Sometimes it is also an energy exchange. And sometimes, maybe it is not an energy exchange, it is just a physical act, but it is one of your responsibilities as a wife. And now some of you are asking, I see. I know how you think. So this is my next question. What if my husband does not want sex, then what should I do? Maybe you want it, but he doesn't want. So first understand that do not make it a personal thing. Don't think that oh, I am not attractive or there's some problem in me. That's why he doesn't want to have sex with me. No, there could be other reasons. Maybe he's going through a lot of stress, maybe some health issues, underlying health issues. Maybe you know, he was forced into this marriage or maybe has feelings for somebody else and he does not want to just be with you or use you unnecessarily. So don't make it like a thing about me, that problem, or my husband is not attracted to me. And again, if he is not having sex with you, you cannot force him to have sex with you. Then you have to detach yourself from that expectation. And you have to understand that that is not the only thing that can keep you happy. You can try, but don't say, don't fight with him. Because if you fight, you repel him. So supposing your husband is not having sex and you want to have sex and you start fighting with him that you don't satisfy me. Why should I be in this relationship? You're not giving me anything. You're not having any sex with me and this and that, and we don't have any intercourse. It's been so many years. I'm feeling very unsatisfied as a wife and all of that. If you tell him you're not able, you're not encouraging him to be with you, you're in fact pushing him away. So what you want to do in that case is you want to first understand what is happening in his emotional world. Just have gentle conversations with him, get into that friendly zone with him, be nice to him, be kind to him, and then see if you know. Because if you're fighting with somebody, you are not creating that feelings in them to be with you. So you have to be very gentle about this whole thing and less emotional yourself. So you have to learn to communicate very calmly without creating any pressure. And now what happens is the problem is women feel. And how is this fair? So I want to tell you one thing. There is no such thing as equality in a relationship. Because men and women are not the same. We are designed very differently and our needs are very different. How are they different? Because most women will cheat. So supposing women, they get into an extramarital affair when the husband is not emotionally available. They will never cheat on a man for sex. Very few women do that. But men will cheat on women not for emotions. They will cheat for sex. So our needs are very different. You want the man to be a good listener, listen to you, went and be with you in difficult times and all of that. That's what you want. To have small conversations with you, to take you for dinner. Small, small things. Now, men don't care about these things too much. Trust me. You know, so many women, you know, they'll make big craft books and, you know, big scrapbooks for their husbands on fold, on birthdays. It's okay if you've done it. But you know, my recommendation to you, don't waste time. I'm not joking. It's because they don't appreciate those things. We appreciate those things. So instead of spending 20 hours making that beautiful scrapbook, which your husband will not even look for two minutes, you give him 30 minutes of sex. That's it. I'm not joking. I'm serious. You wear something nice and give him 30 minutes of sex, you will save 19 and a half hours that you spent making that scrapbook and he will be happier and you will spend less time. Yeah, wear something Nice. And just give him that. These, you know, this is what, this is where learning is so important. Now, if your husband gives you 30 minutes of sex on your birthday, you'll be like, what the hell? Like, I don't want this. Like, I need a card, I need flowers, I need cake, I need gifts, I need bouquets. So if your husband comes and tells you I'm your gift baby, you will be saying, baby, I don't need you. I already have you. So this is not what I'm looking for. But if you do something like this for your husband, he'll be very happy. Most husbands, of course, some husbands are in a different phase of life and maybe they might not appreciate it, which is okay. But generally this is the case. So what I'm trying to say is that, you know, we have to understand the needs and we have to stop striving for equality. I do so much. My husband should also do this much. Even if you are a working mother, you only have to take care of the child. You only have to take care of whatever your work. You cannot think that I am a working mother. So my husband should now start giving milk and change diapers for my child. If he does it voluntarily, good. If you are blessed with that kind of a husband and he is doing it, that's okay. But you cannot pass on this task to him because it will be a struggle for your relationship. So I might sound regressive, I might sound backward, but if you follow this, you will live a happy. You will have a happy marriage. And if you want to be equal, position yourself like as a modern Indian working mother and we share the load equally. And if you operate in a marriage with this kind of expectation, you will struggle. And how many of you agree with that? Put a for agree. I am working so much, but I am only having to feed my. And my husband has never fed one bite to my son. I only feed him roti, bindi, apne haatse. My husband's not given him a shower or I'm not. Even if he gives, create. If I'm traveling, maybe he's giving, but I'm not having that expectation that I am doing so much. So he should also do all this. And it's not, it's not even to do with helpers and all because even if you don't have a helper, you only have to do. And it is easy. It is much better if you have this clarity that I am okay, this child is mine, I will do for him. I'm not going to expect if he does a little also, then you will feel good about your husband. You'll feel blessed. And sometimes the problem is we start to compare that, you know, that husband is doing this. Why can't my husband? So I'll tell you, like, for me it happened actually. So my brother in law, you know, he was a very involved father. My husband also involved, but not like in a different way. Involved in terms of just having fun with the child, but not in terms of like doing things like, you know, I'll give you a very funny story. So this was almost when Veer was six or seven months old. And you know how children they have milk in ounce 18 ounce bottle. They have. And you know, sometimes you have those markings, no, 4 ounce, 6 ounce, 8 ounce, like that. So in one go Veer would have like around 6 plus ounce, like in one go. So we had gone to the pediatric, my husband and I together and we were inside and how they do the weight checkup and everything. So they wanted to check my weight. Look at Tim, he's just come into the room, the timing is crazy. Took his name and he's eight. I've asked him to leave the room. He knows the story, but I just don't want him to know that I'm sharing it with you guys. But I'm sure he knows. I think you guys know more than he knows about me now. So it was very funny. So we went to this doctor and you know, the doctor wanted to check how they check your weight and everything. So they sent me out to check my weight. So when I went out to check my weight, they must have asked him, how much milk does your child have in one go? You know what my husband told the Doctor? 60 ounces. And the Doctor when I came back after my weight checkup and all, he was like, we have realized that you are a single parent parenting this baby alone. So I think I will just speak with you. And he was in a shock. The doctor was in a shock. So understand that you know some, but you know, it's not. My husband was giving me different kind of a support. So understand that, you know, you should not have this, bring this ego into your marriage. That I am a working mother, so we have to do everything equal, share the load and all you do what comes easy to you and let him do what comes easy to him. That's the best way of making things work out. So in our case, you know, all the activity classes and all, my husband will manage the timing, like the reminder, so. So he'll manage that I'm not very good with that, even though like may, because I'm all the time with you guys on zoom. So for me to send him on time is a challenge so that he's taken. So like that you can decide, but don't have that expectation. Now the next question. Can I stay if my husband has an extra marital affair, can I still stay with him? And the answer to this is, it depends on you and it depends on your values. There is no right or wrong. So basically it depends on where you are in life. So if you have kids and you are not financially independent, so you can't just think about yourself, your feelings, you also have to think about the kids and their education and their safety. So in that case, if you choose to be in a relationship, it's not like you're a weak mother or you have no self respect, you can still choose to be in that relationship because you're thinking about not just your feelings, but you're also thinking about children's safety, their education and all of that. And you continue to be in that. There's nothing wrong in that. Or maybe you're in a situation where you're financially independent, you're confident that you can take care of your children, and you choose not to go through that feeling on an everyday basis, and you choose to step away from that relationship. So whatever you do will depend on your circumstances and where you are. Maybe you choose to stay for a few years and you use those, those years to build yourself and become financially independent. And after a few years, when you have the confidence that, okay, now I can take care of my child and my their education, their safety, you decide to step away from it. So I know a lot of women who are in a relationship knowing fully well that the husband is in an extramarital affair. And they are very happy in that relationship because they have accepted. Because in any situation, there are only three things you can do. One thing, you can write these three things. One thing, you can either change it. Now, if you have tried it multiple times and your husband is not changing, so that's not an option for you. Two, you can remove yourself from the situation. Now, if you feel that removing yourself from the situation will be more painful because you have to go through the pain of separation, plus the pain of finances and the pain of having to manage everything. So second is to remove. Third is to accept it. So based on where you are, you choose one. Either you try to change, everybody tries to change, but if it does not happen, they try to move away or accept. So what? You have to understand that forgiveness does not mean that you're betraying yourself. It does not mean, like if you're forgiving a husband for having an extramarital affair. Or maybe not even forgiving, but you know, just saying that, okay, fine, I don't care. Let him do what he does. As long as my kids are well taken care of, as long as I have food and good clothes and travel and everything, I'm okay. There's nothing wrong in that. Because you are not just thinking emotionally, but you are thinking logically also. What about self respect? You have to accept it, you know, because if you are too much into that I want my respect, then you earn your respect by building yourself first. Because self respect is not something you can just get for free. Self respect will come when you constantly build yourself. You learn how to say no. You learn how to set boundaries. You learn how to communicate. Nine years ago, my respect was at rock bottom, very low. I didn't like myself because I was always blaming, complaining, making excuses. Yeah. Now all of you are saying, what about emotions? What about self respect? Yes, everything you have to learn. How many of you are feeling that after going through this, you are going to feel a lot better in the same relationship? If you are going to put yes in the chat box, 100%, I know you will. And how much time have we spent? One and a half hours, 90 minutes. Relationship. So you will feel respected. You will also feel your husband might actually get away from that extramarital affair and actually come back to you. Also. That's also a possibility if you are able to build yourself. See, men do not like pretty women. It's not the looks they get attracted to. That's just maybe in the first year or the first time they see you. Maybe looks. But what they get attracted to is confident women. Your husband should always have this feeling that she chooses to be with me. She doesn't have to be with me. All of us have to give this feeling to our husband that you I have chosen. I don't have to be with you. That's when you will get the respect in a relationship. But if they have this feeling that you have nowhere else to go, you are completely dependent on them. No matter what they do, you will not leave them. That's when they go and do these things. And it's a very personal thing. If you feel that, no, it's not working for me, I have to step away. That's. That's okay for you, then you do that. I'm just Saying that. That's why I'm saying there's no right or wrong. It depends on what is right for you. But what is right for you. You should know how to think what is right for you. Because most of us make these decisions in a rush, in a high emotional state. We take wrong steps. Financially independent and all of that. And you continue with that till you are able to come to the next level where you have the courage to move away from it. Making sense. If this is making sense, put Ms. In the chat box. So what? You have to understand that clarity, having clarity about where you are is more important than sacrifice. Just one minute. It. Okay, this is a very important question. How can I stay happy even if my husband shows no interest in me? You know, in some marriages it comes to a point where the husband is just doing his things. He's in his own zone. And it's not like he's being rude to you. But you know you've reached that space where you know it's just like you're there, but you know, it's not in a very conversational kind of a space. More like roommates living together. Yeah. So understand that you have to first separate your self worth from his behavior. His behavior does not define your worth as a wife. Just because he is choosing not to be interactive and not to engage with you does not mean you are not a good wife. Does not mean you are not pretty, does not mean you are not attractive, does not mean you are not confident, does not mean you are not skilled, does not mean that you don't have potential. Clear. Also understand that you are responsible for your happiness. So build joy from other sources. Your husband is not the only source of your happiness. If this is a ball bond, put bio. You know, I have a friend now. The husband is very good, very rich, takes good care of her and everything. But they are not like talking too much, does not spend too much time with her. So she is very social morning to night. She is chilling. And she's found her source of joy in her friends. So no longer is she depending on her husband for her happiness. And she knows she's relaxed, she's chilling. So she's found joy in that. Some people find joy in painting. You know, I have a friend, she's more into like painting art. So she's figured that's her way of keeping herself fulfilled. So you don't have to depend on this one person for your happiness. You can live together, you can have normal conversations and not expect too much. And if you want, you can also express your needs calmly, not emotionally. Like, don't get hyper, start crying and all of that. You can very calmly sit and say that, you know, I understand this is how our life is and this is where we are. But you know, all I want is, you know, if we can just go for a small holiday once a year, maybe for the kids, you know, because I want to model that for the children. They should feel that, you know, we are like a couple and like that. So you can give him a lot of space and you can negotiate a few things that these are one or two things that I need from you. Everything else I've made peace with. Is this making sense? If this is making sense, put yes in the chat box. So when you are giving the other person, a other person, some space and you're not creating drama every day, but you create your own happy zone, what happens is your husband will start getting attracted to you. I did this, you know, long time back, I did a one on one relationship coaching. So this husband was not showing any interest in the wife. Why? Because sometimes, you know, we make relationships very boring by always being too good. Haji. Haji types. That's also not very good for a relationship. Very. Your behavior is very predictable. So it gets very boring. So this is what I suggested her. I told her that next time when he comes home, you don't be at home. You're like, huh, how can I do that? My husband will come along. Yeah, please don't be at home. So I told her, don't be at home. Don't tell him that you will not be at home. Also, he might get angry, but that's okay, we'll see. So he came and he's like, you should have at least informed me this, that. And she like, oh baby, I forgot. I thought you'll be busy at work, I shouldn't disturb you. I thought I'll message you, but I forgot. I forgot to drop you a message. But don't worry, I'll be back in an hour. I told her, make sure you meet your friends, take good pictures with your friends. And then when you come back, don't give too much time to your husband. After you come back, after meeting your friends, just be in your phone and check your pictures. See, see Relationship. You have to use some skills. It will not just work out like that. You have to use your creativity, a lot of creative effort. Okay? So like, you just chill and your husband will like, how was your day? Just say, yeah, I had like a great time. After so, so long. I felt like Myself again and just had a crazy time. I think I'm going to make this a monthly ritual. And then you just be in your phone. It's like, what are you doing? It's like, nothing. I'm just checking my pictures with my friends. I'm editing some pictures. Then edit it, post it, have fun and behave like you don't care. Because understand men are designed to chase women who do not give them bhav. That's when you become attractive for the man. But if you are running behind the man like one thing, then he is going to run away from you. So if you see in college, boys are always running after the girl who is not giving them too much attention. So you just have to make give them space to miss you. You have to give them space to understand the things that you do for them. But if you're not giving them any space to make them realize what you do for them and you have to learn to maintain that. It's not like every day you're going out. That's not what I'm recommending. So please don't make that mistake. 30 days. Friends balance it like once or twice a month. Maybe, maybe on weekends instead of spending the whole Sunday, you can say, okay, one hour, I'm going. Or maybe you can just say, I have a class. Or, you know, that's why a lot of you in eph, your husbands are giving you so much attention now because you're giving them less attention. Because you are giving me more attention now. So now your husbands are finally missing you a little because now they're thinking, what is my wife up to? Where is she? Valentine's Day. So now you're creating that space for them so that they at least have a chance to miss you. So this is very important, you know, for them to have this feeling that, okay, my wife, she's got a life of her own. She has friends of her own. She's really, you know, people love her and care for her and people is. People are saying good things about her. So understand your happiness is inside you. It is not in your husband. And now I want to share with you, how does your relationship with your husband affect your child? This is very important. So no matter what type of relationship you are in, you have to create some friendly moments in front of your child. It doesn't have to be like kiss and hug and all of that. It can also be hugging and all. If you are in that space, you should, but at least you should sometimes laugh as a couple in front of your child. Have chai together. If not even laugh. Have a quiet peaceful moment. But both of you are sitting together. Your child is seeing. You're just having chai, coffee, whatever, lunch, dinner, shanti se. Just for them to see the two of you together. They absorb a lot of emotional energy. Never. It is my humble request. I'm begging each one of you. I'm begging, pleading, whatever you want. I can do whatever you want me to do. But please, please, please don't fight in front of your child. Please do not. No matter how much your husband screams, you stay quiet and don't fight. Don't pull the fight. There cannot be anything worse than that for a child. It is the worst thing. It is the worst torture to a child is to see parents fight. This pain they cannot remove even when they become adults. And they carry this pain into their own relationships. Some of them are not able to enter a relationship. And some of them, even if they are able to, they just carry it into their own relationships. And they struggle forever. So this is one thing that you can never do to your child and you should never do to your child. And fight will not happen from one person. It's both you and him. So if he is not understanding you do it for your child's sake. Don't allow your ego to come in the way. Don't react. And sometimes the fights happen to protect the child. So you are trying to protect the child. You are trying to reduce the screen time. You are telling your husband screen. But trust me, your fight with your research has proven this. Your fight with your husband is thousand times worse than screen time. So you have to keep your child away from screen time. You are fighting with your husband. Don't do it. Let him watch. Little 10 minute screen time that your husband is allowing. Later you discuss if it has already happened. Okay. This is also another very important thing. Very small thing, but very important. Most parents will fight in front of the child and they will patch up in private. You will go to your room, you will hug, kiss, have sex. But the last thing the child saw was you fighting. He didn't get to see the reunion. So there's still an open loop in your child's memory. So if you patch up, make sure the patch up is also happening in front of the child. So if the child sees the fight, he should also see the reunion. He should see you having a friendly conversation, hugging, kissing. And you can also tell your child, yeah, it's okay, mummy, papa fight. But mummy, papa love each other a lot. Say these things to your child. Say okay. You also fight with your friend sometimes. But don't you love your friend just like that? Mummy, papa, friend. So sometimes they fight. But papa loves me the most. I love papa. Never ever say anything negative about your partner to your child. Even if your partner is an alcoholic, drug addict, not a good husband, abusive. You will not say anything bad about your husband to your child. You cannot unload your stress on your child. Your relationship with your partner is different from your child's relationship with their father. So maybe he is not a good husband but he can be a good father. I know cases where husbands have been alcoholic, drug addict. But the children have a lot of respect for the father because of the mother. So what your child feels has everything to do with what you say, what you speak, the words you use for your partner and for their father. So put pp, pinky promise in the chat box. You will never say anything disrespectful to your husband in front of your child. Even if your husband is saying so, don't. I am not concerned about what they do. Because we cannot change what they say. You can change what you do. So you should not have the negative karma of making your child go through that. They don't deserve it. You know, I cannot tell you how much, how sad I feel when I see children. 7 year old child going completely mute. 7 year old. But all he has seen is parents fighting. 12 year old children going mentally crazy. I am not joking. A perfectly born child with a perfectly functional brain goes mentally crazy. Because of parents fighting in front of the child. Children become. Most children who become drug addict are because they come with parents who were in a marriage where they were always fighting. They did not get any love at home. How to rectify? Please reverse whatever you've been doing. Create a loving environment in your house. Do some bhajan, do some chanting. Give a lot of hugs to your child. Give a lot of kisses to your child. What if grandparents don't worry? You should not be fighting. And when grandparents are fighting, say grandparents are. They are friends. They fight but they love each other. That's why they're staying with each other for so many years. You have to give a very good experience of your relationship to your child. And even if you are not in a good relationship because children learn love by watching not by you telling them that you love them. You have to show them love. So your harmony with the harmony between you and your partner is going to create a mentally stable child. And if you're always fighting, I cannot tell you in words now You've understood that I've given you some crazy examples and I don't like to transfer fear. But this is so important that I am taking the liberty to share these examples with you. Usually I will not share very difficult examples because I don't want you to be in that zone. But please don't do it. Because see, we are what, 929 of us in this room at least. If 929 of us, even if we have on an Average, you know, one child or two child, 1800, 2000 children will at least not go through that pain. And if you don't do this, chances are the next generation will also not go through it. And the generation after that. Sweets, screen time. Of course, these things are not good. In front of your child. Especially in a car, in the house, in the room also. Okay, some of you, when they are sleeping in the same room, you fight. Please don't do it. You want to fight, let the child sleep. You go to another room. Not even in their sleep are you going to fight. You're not going to say, oh, he is sleep? No, they understand everything, they absorb everything. They should not be around you when you're having a loud, heated conversation with your partner. Depends on the volume. So see, I'll tell you. With kids it's very tricky. Sometimes you feel they are sleeping, but they are not. They are also very good actors. So anything you don't want them to know, you should not speak about those things. Whether they are sleeping or up. Sometimes they might use it to blackmail you. It has happened once. One mother was talking to her husband and she was saying bad things about her mother in law. The child heard everything and then the child blackmailed the mother that if you don't do this, I will go and tell dadi. Not joking, it's a real story. So never say anything to your child which you don't want them to know because you will be creating a problem for yourself. So now we will watch. I have to share one concept with you, actually. 28. Okay, this one is called the confirmation bias. Which means supposing you have a belief that my husband does not care. Okay, so supposing you. I'm just giving you an example. What is confirmation bias? I'm explaining this concept to you. Because of this confirmation bias, we remain stuck. So supposing you have a belief that my husband does not care. So because you have this belief, your brain is always looking for other examples of moments where your husband didn't care for you. So maybe your husband misses a call or your husband does not do something special for you on your birthday. So you're looking for these moments. Your mind is constantly looking for this moment to prove this belief to be correct, that my husband does not care. And what happens is your mind will automatically filter out all those good things that your husband does. It will not let you notice those good things because the mind is only looking for instances where your husband is not caring. So all the opposite evidences will be ignored. So maybe your husband took you to a doctor. You will forget that. Maybe your husband gave you medicine when you were sick. You will forget that. But you will remember your husband did not get a nice cake for you on your birthday because you think that your husband does not care. That's your belief. So your mind will make you see instances where you will only be seeing things where he does not care and you will not absorb things where he cares. And your belief will become stronger over time. And aapka vojo belief, my husband does not care will become even more solid. So now, even if he is doing a few good things, you'll not be able to notice those good things. You will only notice what he's not doing. So this confirmation bias is a trap. So whatever beliefs you have for your husband, this is a small homework that I'm giving all of you. So whatever beliefs you have for your husband, you want to list it. So supposing your belief is, my husband is very conduced supposing or my husband does not care, or my husband is boring, or my husband loves his friends more than he loves me, or my husband only does things for his friends, not for me. Whatever your beliefs are, write it. Then your homework is to notice all the things that will go against this belief. You are going to force your brain and your mind to notice the things. So supposing your believers, my husband does not care. Then you will start to notice all those moments where he's actually doing something sweet for you. Maybe, okay, he does care. Maybe he gives you a kiss, okay, he does care. Maybe he tells you, okay, do you want to go out to eat? He does care. So you're forcing your brain to make a list of areas where you feel that, okay, he does care. It's not like he doesn't care. Now maybe your belief is my husband does not spend any money on me. So you see kaha ka thora bhat, he's taking care of me. He's paying the house bills, he's paying for the vegetables. He's paying for children's education. He's paying for the, paying the house rent. All of that is also taking care of you. You know, maybe he's not buying you expensive gifts, but he's paying for other areas to keep you in a. To keep you in comfort. So you're going to make a list of all those areas where it will go against your belief. So what will happen? Slowly, slowly this belief will become weaker and you will start to see the same husband in a very different way. Because right now you're seeing them with a lens. Somebody saying, my husband does not flirt so funny. So you can teach him. Maybe he doesn't know how to flirt. So you can educate him. How to flirt with you. Yeah, you can. Like some, some people don't know how to do it. So you. And some people know too much. So you have to tell them, send them videos of how less flirting is also okay sometimes. Right? So got it. So this is your homework. And now I have a few videos to see. And before I show you the videos, just want to ask you, did you love the bootcamp? If you loved it. So I did not want to. I wanted to do it in a question answer format because that's how our brain absorbs information easily. If I tell you a checklist kind of a thing. So I've given Q and a type of why and I've tried to simplify to the best of my ability so that you are able to explain this. So a good idea is for you to explain these ideas to somebody else. Maybe your sisters, your sister in law, your co sister, your friends. So now also one more thing. I'm again reminding 2021, 22nd divine principles of parenting. No recording. Please block your calendars. Also fill out the platinum wait list. When you fill out the platinum wait list, your super coaches and leaders will reach out to you. So if you have any questions, they can help you out. Right? So please keep coming back, keep learning. And now I'm going to share with you three to four videos. Very nice videos. The accent, if you don't understand, don't worry. I will explain it to you in very simple language. Can. Can one of the super coaches put the wait list link? Yeah. Thank you so much, Aarti for sharing the link. I'll just pause the chat so that Aarti doesn't have to keep sharing it again and again. So while I'm playing the video in the background, you can fill out the wait list and let me share with you this video. You say you want to change, but you're still making the same choices. You want to grow, but you're stuck in the same patterns. You want to feel more confident, more grounded, less anxious, but you keep showing up in the same same ways. And that right there is the fundamental problem. Change doesn't just come with time, it comes with action, with practice. Real sustainable change is found in the pause, the moment between stimulus and response where you can either choose to respond differently or react in the same way as you always have. And the reality is the life you want, the version of you you keep imagining, keep longing for, that life, exists on the other side of each and every one of those intentional pauses. You don't need perfect circumstances or unwavering confidence to change. You need commitment. Commitment to the person you want to be and intentionally responding accordingly. See you how many of you love it? You need commitment and intention. You don't need perfect circumstances and you don't need too much confidence. What you need is commitment and intention to be with that person. And you have to respond. And the life that you're looking for, the dream life with your partner, is on the other side of your trigger and response, which means you're waiting to respond. You're not like reacting immediately. That pause is very important, right? Let me give you one more. So I have a folder where I keep saving. I don't even remember the names of these people.

The more compassion and respect you could have for your parents, if they deserve it, if they weren't monsters.

Okay, listen to this very carefully.

The more compassion and respect you could have for your parents, and if they deserve it, if they weren't monsters, then the deeper your understanding is of people and the better you'll be able to build what you want to build and have the values you want to have. Respect is very important, I think, for authority, for people who have really tried hard and come before you. But it needs to be based on understanding that they were real people too and they made mistakes and they learned from their mistakes or didn't you know? And you will make mistakes and hopefully you'll learn from your own mistakes and think for yourselves. And then even if your parents weren't ideal parents, you can become a great parent. Even if your parents relationship wasn't ideal and was mistaken, in some ways you can learn from that and build a better relationship in your own life. So respect is not counter to doing your own thing. It's balanced by doing your own thing.

How many of you love this? So it's not about what your parents did, irrespective of what they did. You have to understand that they did the best they could. And now you can still build a beautiful relationship for yourself because your parents are also human. They are not God. So they made mistakes just like we made. We are still making mistakes. None of us want to hit our children, but we end up hitting our children. None of us want to, you know, like, fight with our partners in front of our children, but we still do just like that. Our parents didn't want to do what they did, but they just did it because they are human. So I want all of you to write, I love my mom and dad. I love you Mummy. I love you, papa. Please don't blame your parents. Karmically you have to get over it. You have to forgive your parents and you just. If there is one thing you should have in your heart for your parents is gratitude. Because if you are here breathing, listening to all of this, it's because of your parents. Maybe they were not the best parents, but they fed you, they gave you food, clothes, shelter, and you are still alive. So don't expect parents to be like God and do everything right. They did the best they could. So stop blaming them and stop saying that, oh, I was tortured by my parents, so I have become this person. No, they did the best. The intention was never to torture you. They were just being themselves. And there was maybe nobody to educate them and they didn't know what they were doing. They were just in a different zone. Maybe there were too many financial pressures which you didn't know of. Maybe they were. They were having stress from other areas which you didn't know of. So nobody is intentionally trying to hurt you, especially your parents. So I don't want. If any of you are not in like good terms with your parents, please resolve it asap. You have to have only one thing for your parents. Gratitude. Because this feeling will get transferred to your child and karmically also it will get transferred to your relationship with your own child. We really suffer a lot thinking back to the relationship where we loved each other deeply, but they just didn't work because of compatibility issues. But there are some incompatibilities that are just too great. This all comes down to how you define who's the right person for you. I define our life partner as the person who's actually willing to go on.

The journey with us and who going.

On the journey together is a possibility. Because we are actually compatible. We not the same person.

We have different preferences in some areas. We may have different interests, we may.

Have different ways of seeing the world sometimes. But fundamentally, our differences don't get in the way of living a happy life together. Yes. So our differences don't get in the way of living a happy life together. So don't feel that, you know, you have to be the same to be happy. Not going to happen. No two people are same.

How do I honor my.

This is my one of my favorite videos. Please listen to this carefully.

How do I honor my parents? The best way to honor your parents is to fulfill their best wishes for you. The best way to honor your parents is to bring forward the best you that you can be living the best life that you can have. Because of course that's what the best part of them would want for you. And maybe you encountered other parts, but that's the best. I want you to be happy and fulfilled, my child. Remember that. Remember what the best of them wants for you. Pass back to them the negative aspects of their legacy and don't pass that on to your own children or the next generation. Do pass on to the next generation the best of who they were and what they gave to you. Change their legacy, burnish it, transform it if you must, and pass on the very best of who you are as a way of honoring the best of what they would wish for. That's how you honor your parents. The best gift you can give your ancestors and the best gift you can give the generations that follow is the best you that you can show up at.

How many of you love this? You know the best gift you can give your child is the best version of you and the best that you got from your parents. We get a mix of things from our parents, but pass the best that you got. It's not the jewelry that you pass on, not the land, not the property, not your bank balance. That's not the best gift. The best gift. You know, I will tell you this line that I keep repeating. So right now, of course my parents have given me what they have given me. But the most important things, if I have to listen what my parents have given me is the confidence that I can take care of myself, The values, My belief in God. Now those things you, you know, no money can buy. So you have to keep growing yourself and give that best version of you to your child. So give your child the best of you. And this is the best gift that you can give to your parents and to your ancestors and to your child and also to yourself. The best version of you. So how many of you think that when you work on yourself, when you invest on yourself, it is you doing the best you can do. And this is your way of honoring your parents and honoring your family and honoring the future generations and honoring your ancestors. It's not time waste. A lot of us, you know, we are always like. So you know this is one of Manarqi watching this again and again because it's a good reminder and I want to show you one last video. Sit comfortably. Oh yeah, I deleted that. So we just have four videos. So with that we officially come. I took the 15 minutes extra. Not bad. As per my usual timeline. I think I did well. Only 15 minutes extra. But I hope that these two hours are going to save you. Your relationship will help you feel more fulfilled in whatever relationship you are in. It's going to make you feel calm, peaceful, easy. It's such a beautiful day, Shivratri. So make sure you set an intention to reset your relationship. Bring in some God energy into your relationship. Believe in yourself and be the best you can for yourself, for your child, for your family and for everybody around you. They deserve a better version of you. You deserve a better version of yourself, your child, your husband, everybody you interact with deserves the best of you. Yes. And the best of you is going to unfold when you keep working on yourself and you keep showing up like this. Thank you so much. Sending you lots of love and deep, deep gratitude. This is Riddhi Devra, your parenting coach for life. Always, always here to love you and I'm always here to serve you. Thank you so much. Have a Beautiful Shivratri celebration. 12 to 1. If you can stay up at night, great time to chant from 12am till 1am not compulsory for anybody. I'm just sharing what I'm going to do. If you feel like doing, you can do 12am till 1am Very good. Time to sit. And sit with your spine erect. Not like slouching, spine erect. Sit and do Om Namah Shivaya if you can also. Oh yeah, attendance. Sorry. And some of you were asking me what to do with a narcissist husband. So maybe you know that topic requires a little more sensitive attention. I have the answer, but it would take some time to explain. I did not want to digress because few of us are going through that. So maybe you'll probably do a segment on that in the relationship coaching certification I've covered. So you'll get there. So one second, let me first activate the attendance and please make sure you go and share about your learnings on the Google link that we shared with you yesterday. So please make sure you go back and you share your learnings. Why am I asking you to share there? Because A it gets saved properly on WhatsApp, we lose it. And B, other people can. Other mothers can see. And if they are going through relationship challenges, they can also start learning. So it will inspire. Plus it will save your messages for me forever. Awesome. So the attendance is live. Please make sure you go mark your attendance. I hope you liked my Valentine's Day gift. Thank you so much. Love you. Take care and stay blessed. Thank you.