Maya confronted her mother-in-law about her tone and set boundaries in her marriage, but faced backlash. Her husband criticized the timing and her MIL blamed the parenting coach for teaching Maya to respect herself. Riddhi explains why suppressing boundaries leads to resentment and uses a balloon analogy to show why early boundary-setting matters.
In the month of January I did the last mission to overcome the fear. Fear of criticism. Then something happened and I spoke in. In the last nine months in my marriage I did not spoke like that. And even I cried now. And I spoke to my mother in law that you can't speak in this tone with me. So now she is blaming you. That you teach me the wrong thing. To respect myself or to take stand for me and your. So that's why I'm feeling uneasy. Because you are my mentor. So I can't hear something like this about you. That's why I feel like crying. And you are telling the truth. Nothing wrong about this.
Yes. So one second. Yoga. Maya. See don't worry about what people say. It doesn't matter what people say about me to you. What matters is what you think about me. There are hundred. Your mother in law is not the only one who doesn't like me. I'm sure there are other people who don't like me.
Right? Right.
And it doesn't matter. Because nobody has the luxury to be loved by everyone. No matter how good you are, how amazing you are. There will always be people who don't love you.
Yes, ma'. Am.
Right. So how does it matter? We are not.
And I. I discussed this with my husband and he told me that you take the step very lightly. You should have done it in first year of marriage. And you spoke very lately. That's your fault. You did not take any steps. Yes, ma'. Am.
I also tell you do not set unrealistic expectations and set boundaries as soon as you can.
I did not know about boundaries because in my childhood I saw the pictures and movies where the daughter in law keep doing. Keep doing without any expectation and get tortured. And the image of that saved in my mind. So I just trying to.
Thanks to our Bollywood media movies misleading and misguiding people like anything. Okay. Now let me share with you an experience from my life which will help you feel better. See first of all what you did is okay. There's nothing for you to feel bad. And every time you're setting boundaries, the other person will feel bad. But it is important for her to go through it. Just like you are going through it. Right. And that happened. Husband called her separately, told her I don't know what happened. Then she like what happened then you know. Then I told her that you know because I said no to you. And then she's like are you crazy? I completely understand. I felt bad. But now I'm absolutely okay. So you don't have to worry. So understand these things. Whenever you are setting a boundary, there will be some, you know, feeling of discomfort. But it is better than you blasting later. After 10 years of doing this, the mistake that most of us make, we will not set any boundaries. We will keep doing, doing, doing. Ekden apka pura chandi bhaani kal kya ayega. And you will shout and you will become a version of yourself that you don't want to become. And all this that you have been doing for so many years will go to waste. Because they will only remember this version of you. Compromises, sacrifices. It will be your fault. I'll give you an analogy. Like you know, you removed some air out of the balloon, so now you've created space for little more air. Mother in law, Boli or ham kushni bolster. Then it will be impossible for you to put your family back together. So the family for which you are compromising, you're sacrificing and you're doing all of this for. You will lose this family for something that you will do. And you will not be able to forgive yourself. And the mistake will only be yours. And when I say you, I mean everyone. It will only be ours. Because we did not set the boundary. We did not communicate what we truly wanted. So do it.
