A Massive Key To Better Mental Health | The Mindset Mentor Podcast

Today, we're going to talk about how to have better mental health. We're going to talk about how to step away from toxic people and toxic situations. And as we do that, I just want to give you one overarching theme for today's episode. I want you to give yourself permission to step away from anyone or anything that is not good for your mental health. Let me say that again. I want you to give yourself permission to step away from anyone or anything that is not good for your mental health. Over the past few years, mental health has been a huge topic, and I think that it should be. I think that it's a topic that's finally starting to come to light the way that it should. And there's a lot of things that had to happen in the world in order for that to happen. But I do think that we're starting to go in a positive direction. But mental health has been a really big focus. People are starting to talk about it a whole lot more and more, and people are starting to go to therapy a whole lot more. I feel like there's a lot of people that I know now that are actually talking about the therapists that they go to and what they're learning and how they're growing, and I think that's amazing. More people are listening to this podcast. That's awesome. Hopefully, I'm providing value in helping people with their mental health. But I do want you to understand there may not be anything in your life that is more important than your mental health. Now, some of you are out there and your parents are saying, hold on, I have kids. You know, I have kids. They're more important than me. I would jump in front of a bullet for them, you know, so my mental health has got to come second to my children. And I'm like, okay, you could think that if you want, but your mental health. The reason why I say that, I think, in my opinion, that it is more important than anything else in your life. It is. The most important thing in your life is because your mental health literally affects everything. And if your relationship with your children is like raising the best children, your relationship with your children is the most important thing in your life. That means that your mental health also affects relationships. Your bad mental health or your good mental health affects your relationships with your children, with your spouse, with your boyfriend, girlfriend, with your parents, with everybody that you know. Also, your mental health is definitely going to affect your work, your. Your money that you're going to make. It's going to. It's going to help or hurt and affect your physical health. And I, when I say physical health, I don't mean that just having great mental health is going to affect your fitness and having a six pack, but I mean the actual functions of your body and how there's facts. You know, studies of psychologists that have done this through years of how people who have mental health problems, and maybe they have more depression or maybe they have more anxiety actually because their body is in fight or flight more often, it shuts down a lot of the organ movement and functions that their body should be doing. So their body is actually being hurt because of that. And so when we neglect our mental health for too long, it can lead to a ton of negative consequences. It can lead to anxiety and depression and stress and burnout, all of those things. And one of the most significant contributors to poor health is just exposure to negative people or negative situations. Like, if we could just remove ourself from a lot of those people, you know, being in contact those people or being in contact in those situations, a lot of times our mental health is going to improve. And sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to step away from anyone or anything that's not good for our mental health. Now, some of you guys are like, but hold on. My job, I have people that I work with in my job that are terrible for my mental health. I cannot leave them. Okay, is there a way for you to figure out a way to get around that? Is it possible for you to switch to a different apartment or to spend less time with those people or to shit, maybe in the next six to 12 months, switch to a different company, whatever it might be. There's always a solution to every single problem. If the problem is the people that you have in your life are toxic, there's a problem to that. There's a problem there, and there's a solution to that problem. I don't know what it is, but you can find it at some point in time. You might not find it today, but if you start searching for the solution, you will eventually find that solution. Some of you are saying to yourself, but hold on, I can't remove myself from relationships that I have. My. You know, a lot of people send me messages on Instagram. I read all of my messages on Instagram. I can't get back to all of them because there's literally hundreds of them. But by seeing and sometimes talking with people on Instagram, I'm able to start to create and see these episodes of what's going on in people's lives. And so for Those of you guys that send me a message on Instagram, I love you, thank you. Continue to do so. And then the rest of you send me some messages. Let's see if we can hopefully chat, if I can help you in some way. I try to message as many people back as I can. But, you know, a lot of times what I hear from people who do message me on Instagram is that their family is extremely toxic, or someone in their family is very toxic, and it's not very easy to remove themselves from that. And I'm not saying that you have to completely remove yourself, but can you spend less time in certain places with certain people? And if I'm being honest with you, it's not always easy to recognize when someone or something is negatively impacting your mental health. But as you start to think about this, as I'm talking about this, I'm sure many of you are starting to think about certain people, and it's like light bulbs going off of like, yeah, that's negative. That's toxic. Oh, that's toxic as well. And it's hard to find. But if that is a problem, there is a solution to every problem. If you don't think there's a solution to the problem, then you've created another problem. And that problem is that you're stuck forever. Because we can feel like we're stuck forever. You might not be able to make a change immediately, but there's always possibility for change somewhere down the road. So we may get so caught up in a situation, we may get caught up in a circumstance, we may get caught up in a relationship. And it's so normal at this point, or it's been happening for so long, we don't even really notice how it's affecting us. And we sit there and we're like, it's just always been this way. My relationship has always been this way. My family has always been this way. This circumstance has always been this way. You know, it's always been this way for me. And when it's always been this way, we think it will always be that way, but we can always move and shift and change things. And we can feel something is wrong. And a lot of times what we feel is, because it's been this way for so long, we feel powerless that we can't do anything about it. And I'm here to tell you that there is always something can be done about it, but you have to find it, and you have to take action on whatever it is that you find is the solution. But here is a really important thing for you to realize. Acting like it's not there is not going to change it. Acting like your relationship with your mom, for instance, is not toxic is not going to change it. And it's only going to make it worse. It might feel better in the moment because you're just avoiding and avoiding and avoiding, but it's only going to get worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse. Brushing stuff under the rug will eventually make the rug so big that you trip over it. And acting like it's not there does not change it. What? And if you're resisting that it's there and you're trying to turn a blind eye to it, what you resist, persists, it will always be there and it will 100%. I can guarantee you get worse over time. Whether that's your mental health, your relationships, a situation, all of those things will always get better or. Oh, sorry, all of the things will always get worse over time if we avoid the tough conversation or the tough decision, whatever it might be. Because when we're raised, people older than us make decisions for us. And you know, when we're, we're younger, we have our parents making decisions for us, we have teachers that make decisions for us, we have aunts and uncles and grandparents that make decisions for us. And what I find is with a lot of people that are adults, they don't really know how to make real decisions for themselves because when they were young, I mean, I could talk with someone who's 35 years old, 45 years old, they don't know how to make a real important decision for themselves because they haven't broken out from the fact of they've always been told what to do, and they've always been enabled to listen to someone else instead of listening to themself. But you have to realize that you have a responsibility to yourself to do what's best for you. A lot of times, stepping away from people or circumstances that are toxic to you is the greatest act of self love that you could have. You might feel guilty and you might feel selfish for prioritizing yourself. Hey, hell, you may have never prioritized yourself before in your entire life, but it is something that has to be done. And in the moment, it might feel selfish, it might feel wrong, it might feel like you are just completely prioritizing yourself and you feel guilty and selfish for it. But we cannot control other people and we cannot control all situations. The only thing that we can control is ourselves. So if you're out there and you have a situation in your life. First off, I don't want you to think that just because of the fact that other people can be toxic and other situations can be toxic, I don't want you to think that, that we don't need to look into ourself and figure out how we need to change. I 100% believe in that and not just blaming other people, other circumstances. But this episode is not about that. Majority of episodes I create is about changing yourself. Today's episode is about changing your external circumstances. If someone or something is causing you a whole lot of stress and anxiety, the best thing that you can do is remove yourself from the situation, whatever that looks like. So let me give you a couple tips on how I could possibly help you go through this. If this is something that you're going through, if you're thinking about a relationship, if you're thinking about a circumstance, if you're thinking about a situation, if you're thinking about a job that you have, whatever it might be. Let me give you a couple tips that can hopefully help you out. I've got four tips for you. Number one is, as you start to identify certain toxic people or certain toxic situations, you have to learn to set boundaries. You have to have to decide what you're willing to tolerate and what you will no longer tolerate. This is one of the things that I see especially with people pleasers. There's a lot of people pleasers out there. Is that because the fact that we're such people pleasers, we tolerate everything. Yeah. This is what I'm willing to do whatever will make everybody else happy instead of myself. So what are you willing to tolerate and what are you no longer willing to tolerate? Okay. It's important to literally set boundaries around what we're going to tolerate and what we're not going to tolerate. And this might be certain people, it might be certain places, it might be certain, you know, beliefs that you have. It might be certain thought process that you have. You've got to learn to set boundaries with yourself, with other people and with certain circumstances. Next tip. You have to prioritize your self care. Right. And when I sell stuff, when I say self care, I don't mean like going and getting a massage or getting your nails done and getting your hair done. Like, sure, that is self care. And I think that people should do that and they should take care of themselves. But I also mean like self care as far as like exercise. You know, I'm really big on exercise. I talk about exercise almost every damn episode. And it's not because I think I, like, love exercise. It's because exercise has been proven to be one of the biggest levers that you can pull in your own mental health. And so I do think that moving your body in some sort of way every single day is one of the most important things you can ever do. What else do I mean by it besides exercise? I mean meditation. I mean spending time in nature. I mean disconnecting sometimes doing hobbies that you love, that bring you joy, that bring you fulfillment. Like, if I give you a really big tip, start treating yourself like someone that you're in charge of taking care of. It's so funny because we have other people that we take care of, but a lot of times we don't look at ourselves and go, I actually need to take care of myself. Like, I'm in charge of taking care of myself. So start treating yourself like somebody that you're in charge of taking care of. So that's the next thing is practice self care. Next one is try to surround yourself with as much positivity as possible. A lot of times when I put stuff about being positive online, there's always people are like, well, don't ignore the negative. The negative goes away. I'm not saying ignore the negative at all, but what I tend to find is that when you come from something in a positive standpoint, it makes it much easier to overcome the negative things and to work through those negative things. So how can you surround yourself with as much positivity as possible? You could live in the middle of Montana by yourself, and not another soul is in sight within 50 miles. But somehow you're listening to this podcast. So there's many ways to surround yourself with positivity, even if there's no positive people around you. There's podcasts. You're clearly listening to this podcast. There's movies, there's books. There's other people who bring out the best in you. There's people that are your best friends that live on the other side of the world that you just don't talk to enough, and they bring out the best in you. So how can you just decide to surround yourself with more positivity? That's the third one. And then the fourth one is just be aware of your triggers. Start noticing when you were triggered and where that might have come from. If you're triggered because somebody said something to you and you take a step back and you're going, okay, what am I feeling right now? Like, I'm feeling really triggered, why am I feeling triggered. Okay. I was just told X, Y, Z from this person. And I don't. I feel bad. Okay. Why do I feel bad? Cause I actually feel like that person was talking down to me. Okay. Shit. Do they talk down to me often? Do they trigger me often? They do. Okay, maybe I need to go back to step number one, which is set some boundaries and tell them what I'm willing to accept and what I'm not willing to accept. And if they're going to continue to speak to me that way, I'm going to remove myself from this relationship. And it's about becoming more self aware and noticing our triggers and going, hmm, okay, how do I feel right now? I don't feel good. I don't feel good. Why don't I feel good? I don't feel good. Why don't I feel good? I don't feel good because of this thing that just happened. Okay. Is it possible that I was triggered by somebody else? Because I feel like they're talking down to me in reality, they are talking down to me. Shit, they talk down to me all the time. Do I want to be talked down to anymore? And you start to notice your triggers. And a lot of times your triggers are your greatest teachers. Your triggers are your teachers. They teach you how you need to change, how you need to improve. And maybe that you're just overreacting to a situation, or maybe that that situation is really toxic and you need to move yourself from that situation, that person. And so the important thing and the thing I want to go back to is the thing I said to you at the very beginning of this. I want you to give yourself permission to step away from anyone or anything that is not good for your mental health and for you to start taking care of yourself and prioritizing your mental health and take care of yourself as if you are in charge of taking care of yourself as if you are someone you're in charge of taking care of. Because you are. And the more that you prioritize your mental health, the more every single aspect of your life will improve. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it. Robdial Jr R O B D I A L J R and I'm gonna leave you the same way Leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.