Are You Addicted to Overthinking?

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Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you live in the United States or Canada and you want to receive motivational text messages from me, text me right now. 512-580-9305 once again, 512-580-9305 today we're going to be talking about the aspect that you might be addicted to to overthinking. Now I want to talk about the really the the way this popped up into my head. I remember years ago I was reading the book called the Power of Now and in chapter one he talks about how he was thinking about committing suicide and he thought to himself this phrase in his head and he said I can no longer live with myself or I cannot live with myself any longer. Something like that. I cannot live with myself any longer. And what he realized is in that phrase there's basically two sides of him. There is the I and then there is the self that he can no longer live with. So there's the I which is who he truly is, and then there is the self which he can no longer live with. So he realized that he didn't need to kill himself. What he needed to do was change his self in the I change himself into the version that the eye would then love and not want to be killing himself for. And so there's two sides of them. There's the I and there's the self. And really, I want you to realize that you are separate from your thoughts. You are not your thoughts. Your thoughts are like a passing cloud. And so I get so many messages on Instagram of people like, I can't stop thinking. I'm an overthinker. What do I need to do to stop overthinking? How do I get my brain to stop thinking? And I always say the same thing.

You're not.

If. Listen, if you were overthinking all of the things that you were grateful for in your life, all the things that are amazing, you. You wouldn't message me and ask if you could change them. You wouldn't want to change them. The problem is you can't stop thinking about the things that you don't want to think about. And so that is the aspect of the overthinking that you want to end up changing. And the thing I always say is this is. Would you ever want your heart to stop beating?

No.

Would you ever want your brain to stop thinking?

Yes.

A lot of people do. And so the heart beats, the lungs breathe, the brain thinks. It's what it's designed to do. It's just, are you thinking about the things that you want to be thinking about? There is something that's important, you know, is to realize when I say that you're not your thoughts, there's nothing that you can do or say to add

or subtract to who you are.

Like an achievement or making another million dollars is not going to add or subtract to who you are. Now, we think that it will, but it doesn't do anything to us. It doesn't change us. So if I asked you, hey, who are you? You know, you would start off with all of the things that you think that you are. Oh, I'm 43 years old. I'm a mother of three kids. I'm an HR specialist. I've been married for 17 years, all of this stuff. But none of those things are actually who you truly are. There is the I that is behind all of that. Now, we're going to get kind of deep today, but I want you to follow along with me. There is the I that is behind all of that. You are not a mother. You are not 43 years old. You might feel like you are all of those things, but there is the I that has been around before you were a mother, before you turned 43 years old, before you've been married for 17 years, before you became an HR specialist. So then what are you really? You're kind of the consciousness behind all of those things. And so if there's anything that is not the consciousness, then it's not truly who you are. And so if you're overthinking, that's not who you are. You're not your thoughts, you're not your judgments, you're not your feelings. You're none of those things. Those are all just things that you happen to do. And if you happen to do them, you can happen to change them. And so that's the thing that you have to realize is that the mind is really like a tool. It's like a hammer, right? What does a hammer do? It hammers in some nails. It can pull out nails if you want to as well. But you're not your mind, you're not your brain. Those are just a tool. It's like you're not your big toe, right? Like, no one would ever be like, I'm my big toe. Same way that you're not your mind, you're not your brain, you are not your thoughts. They are just a part of you, and they are just doing things throughout the day. And so what you have to do is you have to learn to see your thoughts come in, and you have to observe your thoughts and change your thoughts if they're not the thoughts that you want. And so that's important is to come in and to watch the thinker is what it's called to literally think. There's a lot of times where I get a thought in my head and I'm like, where the hell did that come from? Like, that wasn't me. I don't feel like I would have wanted to think that. That's not the thought that I would have chosen. I don't know why that just came out of my head. But it's not like I judge myself or shame myself for it. I look at it and go, okay, that's not the thought that I wanted. That might have been too judgmental. For instance, what would I want that thought to be instead? And so all you have to do is you have to watch the thinker to observe and then change your thoughts that you don't want anymore. Because your thoughts create your reality. That's the important thing. You have reality. Your thoughts create your reality. So if you're thinking thoughts that you don't want, then you're creating a Reality you probably don't want as well. And overthinking can be very addicting for a lot of people. And, you know, if you break it down to its most simple form, what is over? I'm sorry, what is an addiction? An addiction is something that you no longer have control over. It has control over you. And so for those of you guys that are like, I'm not addicted to overthinking, okay, maybe you are, maybe you're not. But let me ask you this question. Do you feel like you have full control over all of your thoughts, all of them? Or do you feel like some of your thoughts control you? Do some of your thoughts control your emotional state, your physical state, the way that you show up in the world? So an addiction is something that you don't have any more control over. It controls you. And it's not that you use your mind incorrectly, but it's that sometimes you don't use it at all, and your mind uses you. And so the tool has taken over. It's like the hammer just going around and hammering in holes in the wall when you didn't even do it. So you have to watch the thinker. You have to hear the voice inside of your head realize that it is not you. So do not identify with it. But you can't always control your first thought. But you can always control your second thought if your first thought is not the thought that you wanted. So you watch that voice, and you observe it. It's just like a monkey that's jumping around and breaking stuff, right? You just watch it. You see it, you see what it's doing, but you don't look at the monkey and say, hey, that monkey is me. And so you have the ability to stop that voice and observe it at any point in time. You don't have to identify with it, which is what's important. If you worry about the future, maybe you're worried about the future because of the fact that you're looking at how your past was, and you're going, and you're creating a future that doesn't exist. You're creating this future with your mind, and now it's giving you worry. And this is one of the crazy things about humans, is that we are future creators. Like, we create all of our futures. And so a lot of times, if you're overthinking or if you're feeling a way you don't want to feel, it's because you are thinking about a future that you don't want. You are literally creating a future. In your mind that doesn't exist yet. And you're looking at it and saying, that's not the future I want. That's not the future I want. That's not the future I want. And so you start worrying about this fake future that you are creating for yourself. And your mind can be your worst enemy, but it could also be your best friend.

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a quick example just to kind of show you how this works. If you're not driving your car and you're at home, whatever it is, close your eyes for the next 30 seconds. Let me just show you something. Close your eyes and I want you to see a red triangle. Like try to see it as much as you can. Maybe it's very clear, maybe it's barely coming in, but see a red triangle.

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Okay, maybe it's spinning. Maybe it's sitting in place, whatever it is. And try to see it as clearly as possible. And now what I want you to do is I want you to switch it and see a blue square. Try to bring it to the front of your mind. Try to make it as clear as you can. Maybe it's very clear. Maybe it's not clear at all, but you can kind of see it now. You can open your eyes now. At any point in time, did you think to yourself, I am that red triangle. I am that blue square? No, because it was just something that you were seeing in your head. That's how your thoughts are. Your thoughts are just things that you're thinking, futures that you're creating, things that you're visualizing that don't even actually truly exist most of the time. So the same way that you would not identify yourself with a red triangle or a blue square is the same way that you shouldn't identify yourself with any thought that comes into your head. Any judgmental thought, any negative thought, any of that stuff. But the same way that you change the red triangle into a blue square, you can also change your negative thoughts and turn them into positive thoughts. You can look at it and say, oh, there's a red triangle. Oh, there's a blue square. I can observe it and I can say, you know, what? Am I wanting a red triangle? I'm not. Maybe I want an orange circle. Okay, I'm gonna do an orange circle now. Same way that maybe you have a negative thought or a judgmental thought, and you see it in your mind and you hear it and you're like, oh, my God. And you can start to judge yourself and shame yourself and all that stuff, or you could say, hey, that's not what I wanted. I didn't want the red triangle. I want the blue square. I'm gonna create the blue square, right? You are not the red triangle. You are not the blue square. You are also not your thoughts. But you must consciously think and consciously view your thoughts and your unconscious thoughts to kind of see what's coming through. And the thing that's important about it is kind of what I've been trying to get into your head the first half of this episode is that you are not Your thoughts you are completely removed from. In some sort of way. You are the eye that sees certain parts of the self that you want to change. But you can free yourself from your mind. You can be there, you can observe, you can change your thoughts that you do not want. But do not judge yourself when something comes up that is not something that you want. Don't judge your thoughts, and don't judge yourself based off of your thoughts. So when you watch and listen or pay attention to your thoughts, be aware that your thoughts are there, they're happening, that you're not fully in control of them. But once you are consciously aware of them, now you are in control of them, and that's when you can take over. And the problem is a lot of people are not consciously doing most of their thinking throughout the day. The same way that I can tell you right now, I want you to consciously breathe. I want you to breathe in deep breath right now. Were you breathing before I told you to breathe? You were, but then you decided to consciously decide to breathe. So the consciousness and to be not only conscious, but also very intentional with your thoughts is one of the most important things that you could do. Now, will your monkey mind run all over the place and throw poo all over the place every once in a while?

Absolutely.

It'll take over at certain points, but as soon as you notice your mind wandering, bring it back to what you want it to do. You notice your mind wandering, you bring it back to what you want it to. This is one of the reasons why people have so much trouble with meditating is because they feel like they don't have any control over your mind. And you start to realize that your mind is controlling you. But it doesn't mean it has to be that way. It means that you can now step into the driver's seat because you've been in the passenger seat for too long. And so how do you control your mind? Let's talk about how you can control your mind. This is something very important. What we tend to do whenever we're doing something mundane or whenever we're doing something that we've done before, we're just walking. Whatever it is, we tend to zone out and think about other things. One way to control your mind is when you're doing the most mundane things to bring your full attention and all of your senses to whatever it is that you're doing. So let me give you an example. What I mean, let's say that you're washing your hands. I'll be honest with you, pretty Much. Every single time I'm washing my hands, I'm thinking about something else. But what am I trying to do? Trying to remind myself that when I do something very mundane like washing my hands, to sit there and to start thinking about all of the senses that I can bring in to be fully present to washing my hands, right? So I can. What can I do? I can feel the cold water or the warm water and the soap on my skin, right? I can smell the smell of the soap, I can hear the sound of the water. And I can bring as many as, as many senses and as much of my mind as possible into that moment. So, you know, you've got the warmth of the water that you've got. You know, there's many different things. You've got the warmth of the water, you've got the sound of it, you've got the smell, you've got everything. You can bring as many sense as you possibly can. What about something else? Maybe when you're going for. When you're walking inside of your house, walking up the stairs, for instance, right, can you feel the carpet on the bottom of your feet? Can you hear the sound of your feet hitting the ground? Can you feel your hand that is on the railing as you're walking up? Bring as many senses as you possibly can to some mundane task. When you're eating, are you just eating and scrolling on Instagram? Well, if you are, then you're consciously training yourself all of the time to not be present. And so what if you're eating food? How can you think about the way that the food tastes? How can you look at the food and see the colors of it? How can you smell the food to bring as many of your senses as possible? What happens is it's really hard at first. I'll be honest with you. It's really hard to be conscious and intentional in what you're doing. But the more that you do this, the more that you start to train the monkey mind to be more present with every single thing that you do. And then you start to realize how much you're actually distracting yourself throughout the day. Like, we are constantly distracted. And so if you're sitting there and you're scrolling on your phone or watching TV or doing something when you're trying to eat food, can you stop with all of the distractions, have as little distraction as possible and go, you know what? I'm going to try to control my mind throughout this activity. I'm going to bring as much conscious attention to this one activity, knowing that, right now it's going to be boring, it's going to kind of suck. But long term, there's going to be many benefits for me learning to actually start to control my mind. The same way that if you're walking a dog and you're trying to show the dog that you're the one that's in control, you don't let the dog pull you. That's what a lot of our brains are doing, they're pulling us. You, you've got to bring the dog back and make it walk next to you. Now will the resist and will the pull? Of course. But after three months, six months, a year, the dog learns it walks next to you on your walk, right? That is the exact same thing that you need to do to control your mind. So essentially what you're trying to do is bring as much attention to what it is that you're doing. You're kind of essentially living the life of a three year old again, where everything is new, everything is amazing. And what's weird about this is that you realize when you do this, there's so much richness to life that you're just blocking out because you're too busy doing other things that aren't as important. Like you don't notice how many colors there are around you. You don't notice the way that the sun comes through and hits the trees and the sound of it and the smell of it. And what happens is you start to essentially live like you're three years old again. Have you ever seen a three year old like they're amazed by everything. Can you find this place where you're amazed by everything? You're controlling your mind. You're as present as possible and you're not allowing your mind to do whatever it's going to do. And so really what it comes down to is understanding that your thoughts are just things. Your mind is a tool. It is not something that you need to identify with because you are completely separate from your mind. It just happens to be a part of you. And your thoughts are like passing clouds. You know, you never look at a cloud and say, hey, that cloud is me. So never identify yourself with a thought, never identify yourself with a feeling. And don't say, I am depressed. You can say, I'm not feeling great today or I'm feeling some depression. But don't identify saying, I am this thing. I am negative, I am depressed, I am anxious, right? I'm feeling kind of anxious today. It's okay. You can say those, but don't identify yourself with those things and make those things who you are. And so you have to realize that you can disidentify yourself from your mind. And your sense of self should not come from your mind. It should be what you want to build it off of. Because if there's a part of you and I realize it can be a shot at your ego, because your ego has a false construct that you are your mind, you are your accomplishments, you are the 43 year old, you are the HR specialist, you are the person that graduated from that college, all of those things. And it's hard to let go of because a lot of times we feel like if I let go of my ego, if I let go of all of those things, those accomplishments, who am I? Well, that is the fun part of self discovery, is figuring out who you truly are and who you want to be. So, you know, if you need extra proof that you are not your thoughts and your thoughts are not you, if you stop thinking, would you still be alive? Yeah, you would. If there was a way to just turn your brain off, would you still be alive? And you can, you know, not think thoughts for sure. So therefore, your thoughts are just something that your body does, right? So really what it comes down to is realizing that you're not your thoughts. You are in complete control of it. You just probably have lived a life of too much distraction. And so remove the distraction. Be as present as possible for the mundane tasks, for the little teeny tiny things that don't seem like they're amazing. And you'll start to learn that if you can be present during the mundane things, you start to build this presence for everything that you do. And you would disidentify yourself from your mind. You disidentify yourself from your thoughts and you realize when you take a step back, if I'm not my thoughts, if I'm not my mind, that means that I can change my mind and I can change my thoughts at any time. Because if I change the way that I think, then I'm also going to be changing the way that I feel. And if I change the way that I feel, it will make it easier to take action towards the goals that I'm working on. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it. Robdial jr r o be d I a L J R and I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

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