28 Dec 2023 · 23 min
Rob Dial explains how tiny daily habits like making your bed compound into major life changes. Perfectionism masks fear; real growth comes from controlling your thoughts and actions. He recommends a weekly stop/start/continue check-in to track progress.
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Welco Episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast the number one mindset podcast in the entire world. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you love this podcast, you have not done so yet. Hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. If you're out there and you love this podcast and you want to get some inspirational text messages from me directly to your cell phone and you live in the US or Canada, text me right now. 512-580-9305 once again 512 580-9305 today we're going to talk about how to be better. How to try to strive to be impeccable with everything that you do. And I actually have this, you know, little note card that I wrote to myself and it's actually on my desk on my monitor at my home office and it just simply says the exact title of this podcast episode, Baby, Better be Better. Because at every moment there's always a chance to be just a little bit better. And today I'm going to talk about how to be better. And I'm going to talk about how to strive towards being impeccable with everything that you do, with everything that you say. And when I say impeccable, I want you to understand I don't mean perfect. I don't mean that you have to be absolutely perfect. Impeccable and perfect are not the same thing. Because there's no such thing as perfect being perfect. And if you're out there and you think that you're a perfectionist and that's what's holding you back from the life that you want, join the club. We're all perfectionists. Everyone listening to this podcast is a perfectionist. We all think that we are. Your perfectionism, though. My perfectionism? Our perfectionism, where we're just like, I just. I want everything to be perfect. I want to be better. I want perfect. I want to be better. Your perfectionism is just a mask that you're wearing to cover up some sort of true fear or limiting belief that is behind it. And so you might say you're a perfectionist, but in reality, the true fear, limiting belief is that you don't feel like you're good enough, or you don't feel like you're smart enough, or you're afraid of being rejected by other people, or you're afraid of other people's opinions, or you're afraid of dying alone. You're afraid of being unlovable, whatever that might be. There's some sort of fear or limiting belief that is behind the perfectionism. And so impeccability does not mean being perfect. What it means is striving to be the best with everything that you do, striving to be the best with every single action that you take in everything that you can control. Now, one of the craziest parts about being a human is that there is very little that you can control. There's very, very little that you can control in your life. You can't control the weather. You can't control other people. You can't control the economy. You can only control, like, a handful of things. And for a lot of people, that kind of drives them crazy, because we want to be able to control everything, because if we can control something, that means there's less variables. And if there's less variables, there's less threats, because variables are uncertainty. Uncertainty is automatically seen as a threat to the brain. So in this world, there's a lot that you really just cannot control. I can barely control anything. And there's few things, like I said, a handful of Things that we really can control. What are a few things that we can control? Just kind of off the top of my head. Your thoughts. You can control your thoughts. Now, it doesn't mean you can always control your thoughts. You can get better at controlling your thoughts. And so, like I always say, you can't always control your first thought, but you can control your second thought, because your first thought is a thought of conditioning. It's a thought of programming from your childhood. Now, can you change that eventually? Yeah, you can, but it takes a lot of repetition. And so if you notice that you don't like your first thought, you can always control your second thought, but it's being very aware of them. And so when I say you can control your thoughts, what can you control? You can control. Maybe you think the world is against you, world's against me. These things are just happening to me. Well, you could start to change your narrative, change your story inside of your head to, the world is working for me, whether it's what I want to happen or not what I want to happen. The universe is conspiring to make me better, to create the life that I want. So you can control your thoughts and get better at controlling your thoughts, that's for sure. What else can you control? You can control the way that you speak to yourself, right? You might notice that you don't like the way that you speak to yourself. That's fine. You're in control of it, and you can start to make progress to be a little bit better. So how you speak to yourself, maybe at this point, you're talking a little bit too much trash to yourself and you don't enjoy the way that you speak to yourself. Okay, well, you can become aware of that. Awareness is the first step before you take any action to change something. So you can become aware that you don't like the way that you speak to yourself and that you're going to actually start speaking more in a loving way to yourself. So, once again, if you notice your first thought is talking trash, you can replace it with a thought that is more loving and actually start to change the way that you speak to yourself. So you're in control of your thoughts, you're in control of the way you speak to yourself. And, uh, what else are you control of? You're in control of the actions that you take or the actions that you don't take, right? So you're in control of those actions. Uh, you know, every action that you take is either getting you closer to or further away from the life that you want. And so if you notice that you're taking a lot of actions towards the life that you don't want or further away from the life that you want, you can change those actions to have them start getting you closer to where you want. Because at any moment, at any point in time when you are alive on this earth and you are always taking some sort of action, you know, even if you're just laying on the couch watching Netflix, you are still doing two things. You are laying and you are watching Netflix. So those are both actions. And so if you think about this and you say, okay, is what I'm doing right now getting me closer to or further from my goals? Okay, I'm laying on the couch watching Netflix at 3pm When I'm trying to grow my business, I would say that's probably getting me further away from my goals. Okay, well then what can I do? I can change those actions and I
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dial what else are we control of? We're in control of the way that we speak to other people, right? And so sometimes we notice that we have a short fuse and we don't like that. Maybe we got it from one of our parents that also had a short fuse. And we learned that growing up. That's part of our conditioning. And so we could start to become aware of that and start to change the way that we are with other people and be more kind. And so there's not a whole lot of things, you know, there's like, your thoughts, there's the way that you speak to yourself, the way you speak to other people, the actions you take, the actions you don't take, and maybe a few other things that you're actually in control of. Those are the things that we're trying to be impeccable at. And we're trying to. When I say impeccable once again, it doesn't mean perfect. It means that we're constantly monitoring and trying to get better. And the thing that you'll start to Realize as you start to go on this journey of trying to be better and trying to be a more evolved version of yourself, it's not just the big things. Most of the time, the things that you're actually paying the most or you should be paying the most attention to are little tiny things.
It's the little teeny tiny things.
The big things matter, but rarely do big things come into your life. It's usually a lot of little teeny tiny things. And so what you want to start being aware of is like, how am I being impeccable with every one of my actions? When the alarm clock goes off in the morning, what am I doing? Am I rolling over and hitting snooze 12 times and waking up an hour later than I wanted to? Or am I waking up at the time I said I wanted to wake up? That's being impeccable. When you wake up, when you said you're gonna wake up, when you wake up and you get out of bed, do you get dressed and leave the room or do you end up making your bed? If you make your bed, that's one step towards being a little bit more impeccable. Waking up on time and making your bed are not huge things. They're little teeny tiny things. But the small things matter so much more because the small things compile over years and years and years to be really big things. And the reason why is because the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. So how you do one thing in your life is how you do everything in your life. And so if you're skipping the little teeny tiny things like making the bed in the morning, even though it doesn't really matter that much, but it's just a little win on your side, a little thing that you don't want to do. And you're doing it because you just know that it's something that you should do. Or maybe you like the way that the room looks. If you can do the little things, it makes you better at doing the big things. Personally, I care more about how I show up for the little mundane things than anything else. So I want you to start thinking about that. How do you show up for the little things in your life? Is there something that you need to become better at and you need to work on, you need to, to improve yourself.
There always is.
And that's part of being human. That's the beautiful thing, is that this self development journey is never just like there's never an ending. There's never. I mean, I Guess the ending is our last breath. But it's never like, oh, the journey's over. There's always something we could grow and get better at. And this is really something I wanted to share with you today because this is something I've been sharing with my team a lot recently, is, you know, we have over 30 employees at this point in time, and their results in their business will be equal to everything else that they do. And so when I see somebody who's on the team and the results are dipping, usually, almost always, if I have a conversation about, hey, how are things
going in your life?
Usually there's something that's off in their life that are just basically causing them to dip in the business. Because once again, the way we do one thing is the way you do everything. And so if they're knocking out of the park at home and in their self development, in the relationship and in their workouts and in their health, they're going to knock it out of the park in the business. That's just the way that goes. Because the way we do one thing is the way to do everything. And so we should pay attention to those things, you know, like when it's the little tiny things. And I've said this so many times in the podcast, but when you get done eating, what do you do with your dish? Do you throw it inside the dishwasher? Do you clean it off? Do you leave it inside of the sink? You know, when your clothes are done? And this is one thing that I have to force myself to be better at when my clothes are done, because usually I forget about them. That's what I do. My clothes are done in the dryer. What am I doing? I'm really good at putting clothes in the washer. I'm pretty good at putting them in the dryer. I'm pretty shit at taking them out of the dryer because I just forget about them. And also, I just don't like hanging clothes up, but I need to remind myself to do it. So it's those little teeny, tiny things where I'm like, rob, you need to be better at this thing. You know, it's the taking your clothes out of the. Out of the dryer when they're done. It's also, if you know it's your clothes, when you're trying on a bunch of clothes, do you try on five different outfits and then leave your clothes all over the place, or do you hang up every single outfit as soon as you're done? These little teeny, tiny things of Finishing what you start of, you know, the dishes is finishing what you start trying on your clothes is finishing what you start doing the laundry is finishing what you start making your bed is finishing what you started. The closing of the act of sleeping, doing what you know that you need to do, more importantly than anything else is doing it for yourself. Like a lot of times we're really good at doing it for other people, but not other people are going to see what your bed looks like all the time. So, you know, I want you to think about. And the reason why is because there's a whole psychological reason behind it. And the reason why is because how often have you said to yourself, I'm going to lose weight this year. And then at the end of the year you still weigh the same, maybe even more. You say, I'm going to start that business that I've been dreaming about for the past three years. At the end of the year, you didn't start the business or you didn't put the actions into it that you needed to. I'm going to work on myself. I'm going to read a book a month this year and then you don't read any freaking books. I'm going to wake up early and you're not waking up early. I'm going to meditate and you're not meditating. I'm going to go to the gym every single day, five times a week, and you don't go to the gym at all for the entire year. I'm going to read more. I'm going to invest into myself. I'm going to learn about xyz. How many times do we say to ourself that we're going to do something, then we don't do it. And then we wonder why we don't trust ourselves as much as we could is because our subconscious is always watching what we're saying to ourself in our head and what actions we are actually taking. And so if we want to build more confidence in ourselves, we need to do what we say we're going to do, not just what we say we're going to do other people, but we actually truly say we're going to do for ourselves. How often do we just give up on ourselves? What is that doing to our confidence? If you told a friend that you were going to show up for them, you probably show up for them more often than you show up for yourself. And I want you to understand that. Think about if you told a friend that you were going to show up and hang out with Them. Like, I'll give you a good example, Lauren, my wife, has a friend of ours, and they schedule to go get dinner, and the friend cancels, and she schedules to go get for dinner, and the friend cancel. Schedules go get dinner, the friend cancels. It's like clockwork. Lauren's just like, I'm just not going to invite her to go get dinner anymore. If she wants to show up and come out, then she can. And really that happens. And that's kind of what's happening with you in your own head, where it's like you're scheduling stuff and then canceling and scheduling it, but not showing up and scheduling and not showing up and you're not following through enough. If you had a friend that said they were gonna do something and they didn't follow through, they didn't follow through, they didn't follow through, they didn't fall through over and over and over again, eventually be like, I don't trust this person's gonna do shit. And that's kind of the way that we are in our own heads. So we have to start rebuilding our confidence in our relationship with ourself doing what we say we're going to do. It's the exact same thing with trusting yourself as if trusting someone else. And once again, you don't have to be perfect, but all you have to do is strive to be better every single day. Strive to be a little bit better than you were when you woke up this morning. I have a question for, and I want you to be honest. If being impeccable, impeccable means everything that I just said, if you think about that, on a scale of 1 to 10, what would you rate yourself on being impeccable? Say it out loud. What would you rate yourself on how impeccable you are with what you say you're going to do, with doing what you want to do, all of that. And now that you found that out, what is it costing you in your life by not being higher? Like, if you said, I'm at a 5, what is it costing you by not being at an 8? Because life is either hard now and easy later, or it's easy now and hard later. You know, what is your future you missing out on? Because you're coming up short? What's your family missing out on? What are your friends missing out on? What's your community missing out on? What's the world missing out on? Because you just keep giving up and coming up short. Once again, it's never the big things. It's rarely the Big things, it's usually the small things. And what you need to do is you need to have a weekly check in with yourself, a weekly date with yourself every Sunday or every single Monday morning. And you just say, hey, how did I do last week? What did I do well with that? I want to keep on improving in and getting better at and what did I fuck up? And you have a weekly check in with yourself where you look back and you look forward and you ask yourself, what do I need to stop doing, what do I need to start doing? And what do I need to continue doing? It's that simple. Takes five, ten minutes. Okay, look back on last week. What do I need to stop doing? You write it all down. What do I need to start doing? You write it all down. What do I need to continue and write it all down. If you have this weekly check in over and over and over again, you're gonna start to get much better. And don't expect perfection. Once again, impeccability does not mean perfect. But the real question is, are you heading in the right direction? As you continue to do this, your habits will start to change. If you do what you're supposed to do, your habits will change. Like there's a lot of books, great books on habits and habits and changing habits, but really what it comes down to is actions repeated turned into habits. It's that simple. It's not fucking rocket science, right? You do something over and over and over and over again, eventually it's going to just become habitual. And so there's all of these books that are on habits and they're great and shit. Some of them I really like, but really it's this simple. If you do something over and over and over and over and over again, your brain, through neuroplasticity, will eventually make it a habit in the brain so that your brain doesn't have to consume as much energy to take that action. So don't focus on the habits. Don't focus on. I'm going to create five new habits this year. Just focus on the action that you need to take in the next 10 minutes and your habits will change naturally as you continue to do them over and over again. Time will tell how you do. Time is either your best friend or your greatest enemy. Time will eventually show you that you took the right actions or you took the wrong ones. Time does not lose, I promise you that. But time will tell you how you've done. Your future self will either be what you want it to be or not want it to be and that will 100% be dictated by the actions that you take today, tomorrow, and the next day. Time will catch up in a good way or a bad way. The beautiful thing is that you are the one that is in control of the actions that you take. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on Instagram. Stories. Tag me at robdial Junior R O B D I A L J R I'd love to see when you guys share this podcast and, you know, send you some messages. Hey, thanks so much for sharing it. All that and if you're out there and you're really wanting January to be the best January that you've ever had. To give you a jump start into 2024, I'm doing a 30 day challenge that is going to be really damn hard, but I'm going to be coaching
you through it every single day.
There's going to be six different pillars that we have to hit. I'm going to be going through this challenge with you, but six different pillars
that we have to hit every single
day to challenge ourselves to become better. And I'll be coaching you every single day to get better. If you're interested in learning more about it, all you gotta do go to levelup30.com so levelup30.com on that page, it explains everything. There's a video that explains everything. But if you really want 2024 to be the best year of your life, you're going to have to change. How do you change? By forcing change. And that's what we're going to do in the level up 30 challenge. So if you're interested, you can go to that website. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.
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