How To Feel More Peace | The Mindset Mentor Podcast

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. Today we're going to be talking about how to feel more peace in your life. How to finally feel like you don't have to keep doing more things, but really feel peace with where you are. And now, you might think, before we dive into that, of, like, but hold on, if I feel good about where I am, am I going to lose all my motivation in life? Like, am I going to lose my motivation? Am I not going to feel like I want more? And what I'll tell you that's really interesting is, number one, I used to think that. I used to always think to myself, like, well, if I'm content, I'm just gonna sit around and do nothing with my life. Nothing can be further from the truth. What happens is when you're content and when you're fulfilled, you actually start to do things that are more. From a place of trying to see, trying to. Trying to do more for the world, trying to be more for the world, trying to accomplish more, not just for yourself, but for the world. And that ends up being a lot more motivating than working just for money or just working for yourself and being, oh, I'm gonna do this because I want this. I want more things, so I'm gonna do this. And, you know, we live in a society, I would say, like, a society of more. We want more all the time. Like, too much is never enough. Like, I remember watching a video not long ago, Bob Marley was being interviewed, and he said, the guy who's interviewing said, are you a rich man? And he said, what do you mean by rich? He said, well, do you have a lot of money? And he said, is money what makes you rich? Because money is just numbers. And money never stops. Numbers never stop. So if you just are searching for money, you'll never be fulfilled because you'll never have enough. You can always have more. And so we're raised in a society of always going for the next thing, never slowing down, never settling, never being satisfied with where you are. But if we live that way, if we're taught that we always need to achieve more, to make more money, to buy more things, to keep up with the Joneses. How could you possibly be at peace if you always want more? Like, if there's always something that you need in the future and you always want more, how could you possibly be at peace? I don't think there's really any way to be at peace if you're constantly feeling like there's another thing that you need to have. In Buddhism, they actually call this. There's a phrase for it. It's the hungry ghosts. Imagine a ghost coming into your kitchen, and. And they open up a refrigerator, and they come in and eat a bunch of food. It doesn't have a stomach, so what's it gonna do? It's just gonna fall on the floor, so it's never gonna fill its belly, which means that it's always going to be hungry. We live in a society where we always have to have the newest thing. We have to have the newest iPhone. We have to have the newest car. We have to have the newest phone. We have to have the newest biggest house. We have to get more clothes. Our neighbor bought a boat. We have to buy a boat. More toys for your children. It's like, more, more, more, more, more, more, more. Too much is never enough. And we live in a society where it's kind of like a lot of us are hungry ghosts. And I don't know about you guys. I've gotten to the point where I'm 37 years old, and I don't feel like I need to buy things just to buy them anymore. I kind of buy things because I'm like, well, it'd be nice to have. It's not gonna make me feel any different. It's not gonna make me feel more whole, but it would be fun, so I'll get it right. Your neighbor got a boat. You need to get a bigger boat. You got a bigger boat than you. You need to get a bigger boat. And we always think that we have to keep up with the Joneses. It's like, what if I just stopped trying to buy things to impress people or to feel like I always needed more? But maybe if I just bought things that, you know, felt fun, gave me more of experiences, maybe I stopped buying actual physical things, and maybe I started buying experiences, some trips, doing stuff with people I love. So we always feel like we have to keep up with the Joneses. Keep up with the Joneses, keep up with the Joneses. But have you ever actually stopped to think about why? Like, why do we always feel like we need more? Why do we always feel like there needs to be another thing that we buy? Why is it that we always want more? Why is it that society always wants more? Why can't you just be happy with what you have? Right? Think of all of the things. I remember reading a book about 15 years ago, and it was talking about. Think about everything you've ever bought or anything you've ever owned, and take all of those things and imagine in your mind everything that you've ever bought, everything you ever owned, everything in your junk drawer, every car, every house, every phone, every computer, every book, everything you've ever owned, and you put it into a pile. Like everything you've ever owned and just put it into a pile. How big would that pile be? Think about that. How big would the pile be? It'd be huge, wouldn't it, on a football field of just shit, maybe more. All the things. And you think about how many things do you not have anymore that are on that field now? I don't want you to think that having nice things is bad. That's not what I'm trying to say. I used to struggle with this, where I used to just be like, you know what? I'm not going to buy anything. I'm just going to be cheap as I possibly can be. And I remember I had a years ago, I had a Hyundai Santa fe at a 2007 Hyundai Santa Fe. And I was with one of my mentors and we were talking about driving and I was like, yeah, I've got this old car. I'm just waiting for it to break down, and wait for it to break down, then I'll buy something new. And he's like, just low key, doesn't even try to say anything to me about it. He's like, yeah, you know, I've just found that. You know what? I found that when I buy a car that I like and I enjoy driving it, I just arrive better. And I was like, shit, I hate driving that Hyundai. And I started thinking about, man, maybe this thing does influence the way that I feel and the way that I show up. And so I got a new car. I got a Raptor after doing well. Then I got an F150 and then I got a Raptor after that. And I love driving it, I love the way that I feel, but I don't really have it for anyone else. I have it just because I thought it would be fun to get and I thought that it would help me get a little bit, help me get a better experience while I'm driving. If I got to drive anyways, I might as well get something that, you know, makes the experience fun. But I don't really have any of the cars that I have or any of those things to try to impress anybody. Literally, no joke, got a new car. I got a Mercedes AMG GT earlier this week. And as it was getting pulled up and dropped off, Dean My best friend, my business partner was there, and he's like, man, are you so excited? And I was like, it's just a stupid buy. It's just gonna make some things more fun, right? Like, it wasn't like I didn't want to buy it to impress people. That doesn't. Isn't what I'm really wanting to do. I'm buying it. So I'm like, it's gonna make my experience of driving more fun. And if it does that, that's cool. It's a convertible. I don't own a convertible. Maybe Lauren, I will have fun driving around with Bear, but it's not like I want to impress anybody with. There's not like I feel like I need this thing. I'm like, ah, it's just be fun. It'll just be another experience. And so what I'm trying to work on is, what are my experiences like in life? Like, will this thing, if I buy it, will it be filling a hole in my soul? Is that what I'm trying to do by buying this thing? Will it feel a hole in my. Will it give me attention from other people? Will it make other people think that I'm cool if I buy this thing? If that's the case, then I'm not going to buy it. That's not the point. Will it be fun for myself? Would it be fun for my family? Will it be a fun thing to have? Is it a necessity? I don't know. We start checking off those boxes. Is it a necessity? Most things are not. You know, I have my necessities taken care of. Will it be more fun? Could be. Okay, cool. Maybe we could check that off. Will it give me a new experience in life? It could. And so you can start thinking about material things, because a lot of people are like, either materialistic or they anti materialistic. And I don't think that you need to be either one. Material things can give you, you know, it could be fun. It could be something that you could do. They can give you experiences, all this stuff. Hey, friend, if you're loving this episode, please do me a really quick favor. Just give us a like right down below. But you've got to ask yourself, am I buying this because I want it and because I want the experiences, or am I buying it because I feel like I'm filling a hole in my soul? Is there a lack of worthiness where I want people to see me? I want people to recognize me? I want to feel like I'm better than anybody else? That really comes down to self discovery, right? Those things will never give you happiness. Like I always say, like a lot of times people who have Ferraris, they don't have Ferraris for themselves. They have, 99% of them have Ferraris for other people. So that people look at them and so those things are not going to bring you happiness. I knew that that fucking car wouldn't bring me happiness, but I was like, it'll be pretty fun, I'll try it out. Never had a sports car before. If I don't like it, I'll just sell it, no big deal. Really lose money on it by doing it. And so we think that those things will bring us happiness. And then after a while you realize that things just don't bring you happiness. And we all think that we're searching for happiness, but we're not really searching for happiness. Like if I were to go up to the average person and say, are you searching for happiness in your life? Oh my gosh, yes, I want happiness, I want that happiness. Sure, you want to be happy, but really what you're looking for is fulfillment. You want to feel fulfilled. And I believe that happiness is a byproduct of fulfillment. Fulfillment is like a state where it's just like, it's like a part of you, what you're doing, what your path is in life, you are fulfilled. And when you're on that path, you get emotions. And sometimes that emotion is happiness. But we all know happiness is just fleeting, right? You could be really happy right now, you could get a phone call and that happiness is gone immediately based off what the other person says. So then you start to ask yourself what I talked about the very beginning of this. Will I still be motivated if I don't desire things? Yes, motivation. I can give you a truth for myself. First 32 years of my life, probably my motivation came from a lack of self worth, buying things to fill the void, seeing my bank account, to feel like I was safe, achieving to fill the void, trying to be better than other people and competing with other people to fill the void. But motivation can also come from doing something great. Motivation could come from wanting to do something greater than yourself. Motivation can come from the search for fulfillment. One of the things that I've found with a lot of people, and we have an event that's going to be coming up at the end of August, is about fulfillment and about purpose. And one of the things that I have found is that for me, early on, when I was younger, was making great money, 27 years old, making quarter million dollars a year, worked from home, had a new house, all of these things. But I didn't feel fulfilled. Like there was no fulfillment in having the money in my bank account. There's no fulfillment in buying things. There's no fulfillment in buying the house, none of those things. I was actually the least fulfilled I ever was in my life. And I really started to feel a little bit depressed. Like I was starting to sink into this depression. I realized I was sinking into it because I was doing what society told me to do, right? And I realized I was doing what society told me to do, what success would be. But I didn't feel it inside of me. And it was like Tony Robbins always says, success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. I felt like a failure. I succeeded with what I was supposed to do in life, what society told me to do, but I felt like a failure. But then what happened was when I decided, like, really made my decision, what I'm doing right now, this podcast, coaching people all of the stuff they've been doing. My motivation comes from doing something great for the world. And I have more motivation now than I did when I was younger working for another company than working for somebody else now. It's not saying that you can't find motivation and you can't find fulfillment in your current job or working for someone else. You can't find fulfillment in the business that you currently have, you definitely can. But motivation from doing something great versus doing something just to buy shit, or just to be able to keep up with the Joneses, or to be able to buy a nice watch, to post it on Instagram and show people what you've been able to do right? Can you find motivation from instead of achieving, instead of buying things, instead of accumulating things, instead of trying to impress people, instead of trying to fill a void that's inside of your soul or lack of self worth, can you find motivation from wanting to do something great for yourself, but also great for the world? And really, if you want to have gratitude for everything that you have, you know, you become a millionaire, you won't be grateful when you become a millionaire. If you can't be grateful when you have $1,000 in your bank account just telling you that. I can tell you from experience and many people that I know that are exactly the same, if you can't be grateful for what you have now, you will not be able to find gratitude for what you have later on down the road. You won't just magically start becoming grateful. There's always someone that's way worse off than you. So if you actually take a step back and really think about no matter where you are in life, if you listen to this podcast, your life is better than billions of people on this earth, and it's better than billions of people who lived before you were born on this earth. Think about that for a second. Like, if you were. If you were a king in the 1300s, your life would still not be as good as your life is right now. They didn't have air conditioning, they didn't have cars, they didn't have cell phones, they didn't have entertainment like we do. They died at like 30, 40 years old. Kings always had to look over their backs. I think the average, like, Roman emperor lived for like eight years as the emperor, five years, eight years as the emperor because someone always stabbed him in the back. Like, your life right now is better than a king's life. 1300, 1400. So you actually start to think about that and you realize, like, you have so much to be grateful for in this moment. Can you start to figure out a way to finally feel peace for what you have, to feel gratitude for what you have? I don't care if you buy things, that's fine. Go out and buy things, have fun with things, have experiences, do life. That's what you're here to do, is to do life. But don't come from a place of, like, needing it to prove yourself to other people, needing it to feel better about yourself, needing it for any other reason other than, hey, this would be nice to have, or, you know, I do need this. Think about that for a second. What if. What if nothing that you ever bought, nobody ever saw again? You know, if you're like, you know what? I'm going to go buy this car. What if nobody ever saw that car except for you? Would you still want it? Or would you be like, ah, I'll just get a Corolla. If you are about to go buy a new watch or a new purse, if nobody else ever saw it but you, would you still want it. And you start to think about, what are the reasons why I buy the things that I buy? And really what it comes down to is there's nothing that you could ever get that could make you happier. There's nothing you could ever get to make you more fulfilled. There's nothing you could ever do or say or accomplish to make you more of who you already are, who you were born into being. There's nothing you could do, say, amount of money, accomplishment that can make you more or less than who you currently are. Can you find gratitude for where you currently are? Because when you can find gratitude for you currently are, like, the universe starts to bless you with more things to be grateful for, because what you focus on expands. If you find things to be grateful for, the universe will give you more things to be grateful for. So that is my way of finding more peace. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me obdialjr. R O B D I A L J R. And once again, I'll leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission. Make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.