How to Manage Your Stress
30 Nov 2023 · 26 min
Rob Dial breaks stress into three types: eustress (good stress), hypostress (boredom), and hyperstress (overwhelm). Most modern stress comes from perception, not real threats. He covers practical tools like writing tasks down, exercise, sleep, and breath work to manage it.
Chapters
The Mindset Mentor is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com, progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. With Venmo Stash a taco in one hand and ordering a ride in the other means you're stacking cash back. Nice. Get up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash on your favorite brands when you pay with your Venmo debit card. From takeout to ride shares, entertainment and more, pick a bundle with your go to's and start earning cash back at those brands. Earn more cash when you do more with Stash. Venmo Stash terms and exclusions apply. Max 100 cash back per month. See terms at Venmo Me Stashterms for small businesses, Every hire matters, but time and resources are limited. LinkedIn Hiring Pro is built for that reality, helping you find, connect with and screen the right candidates faster. From drafting jobs to AI powered screening interviews and a conversational interface that lets you describe what you need in plain language, you can spend less time searching and more time connecting with qualified talent. Hire right the first time. Post your first job and get $100 off towards your job posts@LinkedIn.com dial that's LinkedIn.com dial terms and conditions app. Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast, the number one mindset podcast in the entire world. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you live in the United States or Canada and you want to get motivational inspirational text messages and videos from me to your phone, text me right now. 512-580-9305 once again, 512-58093 today we're going to be talking all about stress. We're going to talk about how stress works in your life, what stress is, how to relieve yourself from stress, how to manage the stress, but also the different types of stress. One thing that I think most people listening are probably not aware of as of yet is that not all stress is created the same. Not all stress is the same type of stress. And when you zoom out and you look at stress, there's actually three different types of stress that exist in your life. And so there's one type of Stress that's called eustress. And I'll dive into that. There's another type of stress that is called hypostress. And then there's another type of stress that is called hyper stress. And so when we look at stress, before we dive in and talk about each one, let's talk about stress just in general. When I look at something that I've heard before, like anxiety or depression or stress, we've all heard these words. They're omnipresent. We've, you know, hear them all the time. Multiple times a day, probably. Right. But do you really zoom out and say, like, what is this thing, though? So when we look at stress, is it the same as anxiety? Is it the same as depression? Are they different? What's the difference between them? And so stress, when you look at the definition, is a physiological and psychological response to things and situations that upset our personal balance in some sort of way. This is an important piece. They upset stress, upsets our personal balance. You know, will we. Will we go out of balance and be stressed? Sometimes, yes. But will we be unstressed? Sometimes we should be. Sometimes we're just in chronic stress, though. That's not balance. And so stress. The first thing I want to say and bring in and for you to understand is stress is not bad. It's not. The reason why we have it is because it's natural to the human body. It kept our species alive, and it has a lot of benefit to it. But whenever it starts to get out of control and it becomes chronic stress, then it becomes a problem. And so when you see the different types of stress, you're gonna see, oh, yeah, now I can see why stress is actually a good thing in my life. But if I feel stress from the moment I wake up till the moment I go to bed, it's out of control. And that comes from you and you alone. It doesn't come from your external circumstances. It doesn't come from anything else. It comes from you, comes from your mindset. It comes from the way that you're looking at your life. And so if you feel like you're too stressed, you've got to take ownership of it and say, okay, it is out of control, but I'm the one who let it get out of control. I'm going to be the one that puts it back in its cage. And so when we're faced with some sort of challenge or some sort of threat, our bodies prepare to respond. And this response can be physical, it can be mental, it could be emotional. But when we're faced with some sort of threat, our bodies click on and say, hey, we've got to do something about it. Stress is in the brain, and it's also in the body as well. And sometimes stress can come from the outside world. You know, like let's say, for instance, you're. You're going for a hike in this beautiful place. You're out in Alaska, and on this hike, you see a bear running at you in the woods. You're not going to have time to sit and think, hmm, there's a bear coming at me. Is it running at me? Is it running at something near me? Should I run from this? Should I stay? Should I fall? You're not going to have time to think. There's no thinking in that moment. Your body is just going to go into stress mode and it's going to do what it needs to do in order for you to survive. Right? The brain, what it does is it sends distress signals to the adrenal glands. And then what it does is it sends adrenaline and cortisol to get your body ready to go into fight mode, flight mode, whatever it has to do in order to have some sort of response to protect you, right? That's what happens. Okay, something happens. Brain, the stress signals, adrenal glands turn on, send adrenaline, send cortisol and the hormones, you know, then get you ready for fight or flight. And what happens after that is then your heart rate increases, your muscles will tighten, your blood pressure rises so that your blood can get, you know, you can get more blood to different parts of your body, your senses become much sharper, and there's an increase in strength that you have usually in stamina. Usually what you have is, you have, you know, your. You're able to catch things quicker, you're able to see things quicker, you're able to take. Basically the way that we want to think about it is when your, your stress hormones can turn on in these moments, particularly when you have a bear running at you, is. It's. It's like when you. Whenever you want to slow down and put your phone into slow mo. When you're doing a video, it goes from like 30 frames per second to 120 frames per second, as your brain actually processes a lot quicker when it's in stress modes, which is why it can be used for good. If your brain processes quicker and better, slows down time a little bit. Well, obviously you can figure out a way to use that to help you be more productive or to think or be more creative. If you Use it the right way. But you know, your reaction time is sped up, everything seems to come in quicker and it prepares you for whatever the stressor is to fight it or to flee from it. Right. So that's what it looks like if you look at us running from a bear. But when you look at nowadays, like when I say, hey, what are you stressed out about? Majority of people are not gonna say bears running at me. Most of our stresses come from our minds nowadays. It's not necessarily what's happening around us and outside of us, but what's happening inside of us is really what's causing most of the stress now. So it's the way that we perceive a situation can determine whether or not it's a stressor. So, you know, like for instance, if you and I walk by a dog, and I love dogs, but you were once attacked by dogs, a dog as a kid, it's the exact same thing. But it becomes stressful for you. It does become stressful for me. Based off of our past, based off of our perception, based off of that. Another example would be, let's say, for instance, teachers are deep into new units this time of year. IXL lets kids practice the exact skills they're learning in class, helping lessons stick and boosting confidence heading toward the spring. IXL is an award winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning, whether they're building math confidence, strengthening reading and writing skills, or reviewing science concepts. It covers math, language arts, science and social studies from Pre K through 12th grade with personalized interactive content that adapts to the child's level and PACE. IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the United States. It's an easy way to support learning as the school year moves into its most important stretch. Make an impact on your child's learning and get IXL now and the Mindset Mentor listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up at ixl.com mindsetmentor visit ixl.com mindsetmentOr to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Stop paying way too much for wireless, just because that's how it's always been. Mint Mobile exists purely to fix that. Same coverage, same speed, just without the inflated price tag. The premium wireless you expect unlimited talk, text and data, but at a fraction of what others charge. I've been using Mint Mobile for about four years now for my business phone, and it works just as good as all of the carriers that I've ever had. Are you ready to stop paying more? For what? Ready to stop paying more than what you have to? New customers can make the switch today and for a limited time get unlimited premium wireless for just $15 per month. Switch now@mintmobile.com mentor that's mintmobile.com mentor upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for 12 month plan $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees Extra initial plan term only over 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy Capable device required availability speed and coverage varies Additional terms apply. See mintmobile.com, every business is asking the same question. How do we make AI work? For us, the possibilities are endless and the guessing is too risky. But sitting on the sidelines is not an option because one thing is almost certain. Your competitors are already making their move. No more waiting. With NetSuite by Oracle, you can put AI to work. Today, NetSuite is the number one AI Cloud ERP trusted by over 43,000 businesses. It is a unified suite that brings you financials, inventory, commerce, HR and CRM into one, one single source of truth. Now with NetSuite AI connector, you can use AI of your choice to connect your actual business data and ask every question you ever had, from key customers to inventory trends. Plus automate those tiresome manual processes. Let's see your competitors try to do that right now. Get their free business guide demystifying AI at netsuite.com dial the guide is free to you at netsuite.com dial that's netsuite.com dialogue I love public speaking. I used to hate it, but I've done it so many times, got like probably 30,000 hours of public speaking experience at this point. For me, it's like exhilarating. I'm a little bit nervous before, but I get really excited when I'm on stage after stage, all of that. But public speaking can be terrifying for other people. And so it's the exact same situation, but for one person it can be exciting. For another person it can be a stressor. And so that's really how stress works inside of our bodies. And you know, stress can manifest in many different ways. It can manifest through excitement. It can also manifest through anxiety, through irritability, through depression. It can lead us to feeling overwhelmed, moody, agitated, all of that. So really when you look at it, stresses is a mechanism that's necessary for the human body. It's necessary for us to survive. But when we start talking about it being in Your mind. Now let's actually start to work through it and go through the three different types of stresses that exist. Okay. The first one is called eustress and it is EU stress, that's how it's spelled. And eu, like eu, basically what it means when you look at it, it's a Greek prefix, fix, which means good. And so eu or eustress basically just means good stress. It was termed by endocrinologist and he, Hans Selvis, his name, in case you're curious, um, he termed it as this. And eustress can actually be really exciting. It's often short term, but it feels really exciting. Like if you, for instance, let's take out of your normal day to day. If you ride a roller coaster, that can be a really stressful event in the body, but it can be a very exciting event for you to go through. Um, it can be riding a roller coaster. It could be the rush of delivering a really great speech. Um, maybe you achieve a personal goal that you've been working towards. Maybe you get done with a really good workout that puts a lot of stress on the body, but releases a lot of endorphins, makes you feel really good. Maybe you'd go and you lift really heavy weight. You hit a personal best, you hit that pr, that's gonna make you feel really good. That's eustress. Going for a long run, that's eustress. The challenges with growing a business and looking at it and being like, man, this is like a game, this is fun to do. That can be eustress as well. And so it's really the good stress. Because the eu, the U part of it actually means good. So it's good stress. And this stress, what it does is it enhances motivation, your focus, your energy. And it can turn on parts of the brain that make you more creative, give you feelings of hope, give you feelings of meaningfulness, vitality, all of that. And so often when you're in this situation, you're going, okay, well that sounds awesome. I want more good stress in my life. I want more eustress in my life. And that's why I want to talk about this first. Because usually when people think stress, they think bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. Not necessarily the case. And it's. This one is actually good stress. So how do we create more good stress in our lives? Step out of your comfort zone more. Do more things that you've never done before. You feel you stress after you get out of your comfort zone, do something new, do something challenging, push yourself Even if you don't succeed at that thing with it, with whatever that thing is that it might be, maybe you try to go lift a personal best and you don't succeed at it, you still feel good about the fact that you tried, you know, set some achievable goals. Don't make your goals too low. Make them a little bit out of reach, but a little bit outside of your current capacity. So that when you do expand yourself out of your comfort zone, involve yourself, and you do get a little bit out and accomplish that goal, whatever it might be, then you feel good about yourself. That is what eustress is. And eustress can be very beneficial for us. And so I wanted to cover that one first, because not all stress is bad. Cool. That's the first one, which is eustress, if you want to know the spelling of it. It's EU stress. The next form is hypostress. This is actually the stress of understimulation, which is pretty interesting because a lot of times when we think of stress, we think of being overstimulated. But eustress is really good. Hypostress is the understimulation. And it happens when you have too little stimulation. There's not enough challenge in your life. There's not enough activity in your life. You're hanging out on the couch, watching too much Netflix. And what it can lead to is the feelings of being really restless, being really bored, lack of excitement in your life. And when you look at, you know, eustress, it's stimulating to yourself because you're challenging yourself. Hypostress is the exact opposite. It is not enough stimulation. You do the same thing every single day. You wake up at the same time, you take a shower, you get dressed, you eat the same thing every day for breakfast. You take the exact same route to work. You go to work, you do the exact same shit you've been doing for seven years. You eat the same thing for lunch, you go home, you take the same route home, you eat the same food, you watch the same TV shows, you go to bed. That is going to cause hypostress, where it's just like, there's no excitement to my life. And that can start to stress you out when you feel like there is no excitement to your life. Because we are built as humans to be challenged and to grow and to be challenged and to grow. And so if you feel hypostressed, it's because you've been doing the same shit for years. You've got to stop doing the same Things we are built to do different things, to have more experiences, to challenge ourself, to have more fun. And it's really just a lack of engaging stimuli. Like you're not engaging yourself anymore. You've been doing the same thing for years. And that can start to stress you out because your body is not made to just do the same things over and over. It's meant for excess experiences, for challenges to grow. It's like one of my very first mentors used to always say, you're either green and growing or brown and dying. Hypostress would be like the brown and dying. Eustress would be like the green and growing. And so the thing about hypostress is it can be the most challenging because it often goes really unrecognized. It's this intense, overwhelming feeling of being stressed. It's. I'm sorry, it's not a intense, overwhelming feeling being stressed, but, but it's kind of like more subtle. The next one I'm going to talk about is the intense, overwhelming feeling of stress, but it's more subtle. It's. It's this nagging sense of being really dissatisfied with your life or restless or man, I'm just sitting on my phone and scrolling all night long and I'm not doing anything or this job is so monotonous and I keep doing the same thing over every single day. And the routines that you have don't challenge you anymore. Like you could do most of your routines on autopilot without even thinking anymore. And you know, you have, you have really long periods of inactivity, whatever it might be. You're watching the same show for six hours so long that friggin Netflix comes on and says, are you still alive? Are you still here? You know, like that's, that would cause hypostress. And the consequences of, of having hypostress too long is, is really decreased motivation, decreased creativity, uneasiness, lack of drive, lack of excitement for life. A general sense of unhappiness is really what that leads to. And it can also lead to, because there is under stimulation, trying to stimulate yourself in health, unhealthy ways, which could be like, you know, risky behavior. Some people, they go and they want adrenaline pumping things, they drive their car too fast, they got to go skydiving, they've got to do something that makes them feel alive again because everything in their normal everyday life makes them feel like they're not alive. It could also be substance abuse, drugs and alcohol. Things that make them feel like they're waking up from their normal boring life. Something to make me feel alive again. So if you feel like you deal with hypostress, do something new. Stop doing the same shit every single day. You were meant to experience life. Try new things, create a bucket list, plan a trip somewhere, work out more often, get moving, try some new hobbies, challenge yourself a little bit more, get out of your comfort zone. Stop doing the same things every single day because that will lead to more stress when you go through the hypostress. Cool. So that's hypostress, which is under stimulating. Makes you feel stressed. Now we're going to go into. The third one is hyper stress, which is what most people think of when they think of stress. It's too much stress, always there all the time. Either in your day to day life things are really stressful or in your mind things are really stressful. And it's really this feeling of being pushed beyond what you can handle and leading to feeling really overwhelmed. And sometimes, actually a lot of the times, if I'm being honest with you, when I talk to someone who says they're stressed and overwhelmed, it's not that in this moment they have too much going on, it's that they have too much going on in the future and they're trying to think about all 47 things at one time. And that feels overwhelming and that feels stressful versus just doing like what the next thing is. And this is what most people think when they think of stress. Physically it manifests as, as, as exhaustion, headaches, muscle tension. Psychologically it can, you know, lead to anxiety, being really irritable, depression and hyper. Stress is, you know, really, you've got a pretty good idea of what it means. But let me give you a couple examples. It could be you've got a deadline, you've got a couple deadlines coming up at work and you're thinking about all the stuff that you have and you've got stuff going on at home, personal issues, relationship issues. Maybe you're a student and you've got multiple exams coming up next week and you get really stressed about that. It's the feeling of being pulled in too many directions without enough resources to be able to cope through it. It's too much at work, it's too much at school, it's financial problems and worrying about bills coming up, it's relationship conflicts. And it's not usually just like one or two of these things. It's like all of them stacked on top of each other. Like one on top of another, on top of Another. And then you're like, holy shit, I've got too many things going on, right? And a lot of times, once again, it's not anything external. It's that we are thinking about all of these things at one point in time and we're like, this is too much. Like, when I noticed that I get. I get stressed out. Which, you know, about a month ago when the book was coming out and I was like, putting out level up and I had, you know, some. We were at the same exact time. We were hiring new people in the company. I was training them, getting them ramped up. I was also trying to traveling to LA to go do interviews for the podcast. And every, you know, we were doing all this launch party, everything. I was starting to get really stressed. And the reason why I was getting so stressed is because I was not because of what I had to do. It was because I was thinking about all of the stuff I had to do over the next two weeks. And I was like, one of the most stressful mo, like, periods of my time in my life was I was just. I had so much going on and it wasn't the things I needed to do. This is what I realized. It wasn't the things that I needed to do that made me stressed. It was that I was thinking about all of the next two weeks right now in this moment. And I can't do all of the next two weeks in this moment. And so a lot of times that's what stress is, is we're thinking about all of the deadlines, all of the things coming up, all of the personal things, all of it at once. When in reality it's not all happening right at this very second. So how do you manage stress? There's. There's quite a few ways to manage stress. First thing is write it all down on pen and paper. Like, put out as much as you possibly can. Take it out of your head, put it on a piece of paper. Because when it's on paper, it could be planned and you can start to see, okay, this thing that I'm stressing out about is I don't have to worry about it for 10 days. Like, what do I need to do today to make myself feel like I'm chipping away at what's stressing me out? If it's at work and you can delegate stuff, delegate things. If it's in your relationship, have an honest conversation that you've been avoiding because it's stressful, more stressful to avoid the conversation and to not have it and have it constantly ruminating your head than it is just to have an honest conversation. You know, everything is figureoutable. Figure out how to work through these things that are stressing you out. Other things that help a lot is mindfulness practices. I feel like I'm a broken record with how much I've been saying it recently, but breath work helps to calm your nervous system down so that you can, you know, calm your nervous system down and then be able to take smarter action, plan better, and be able to get the things done that you need to start chipping away. Regular exercise helps. If you're not exercising enough, that will make you more stressed and it'll exercise. A good thing about exercise, it teaches you how to get stressed and de stress and stress and de stress and stress and de stress. So regular exercise is really important. Making sure that you get enough sleep is really important. Make sure that you're hydrated enough. So few people drink enough water, right? Like just drink more water. And so when it's, when it feels like you're in hyper stress, the important thing that I always recommend, it's usually in your head. Put it on a piece of paper, plan it out, get better with time management and actually just start chipping away the things that you need to use some mindfulness, use some meditation, some breath work, exercise enough, get the sleep, everything that you need to do. And realize you can only do one thing at a time. So what is the thing that you need to do right now? So those are the different forms of stress. There's the good stress, there's two forms of bad stress. I guess you could say there's not enough stimulation. There's overstimulation. Once again, it is about the balance in between those not to be understimulated. Not to be overstimulated. But how do you balance yourself to make sure that you get the right form of stimulation? Then you're also challenging yourself and growing as well. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it. Robdial Jr R O B D I A L J R and once again, if you want to be part of my inspirational text message thread, all you have to do is text me right now. 512-358-09305 once again, 512-580-9305 and with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission. Make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day. Hey Fidelity, how can I remember to invest every month? With the Fidelity app, you can choose a schedule and set up recurring investments in stocks and ETFs. Huh. That sounds easier than I thought. You got this? Yeah, I do. Now where did I put my keys? You will find them where you left them. Investing involves risk, including risk of loss. Fidelity Brokerage Services, LLC Member nyse, SIPC Eating healthy doesn't mean you have to eat out at a pricey restaurant. Healthy Choice Simply Steamers Grilled Chicken and Broccoli Alfredo is an easy, high protein meal with nothing artificial. The steam tray keeps the sauce separate so you get crisp broccoli, creamy Alfredo sauce and tender grilled chicken. That's delicious every time and it's a satisfying meal with 28 grams of protein. You can find it in the frozen aisle. Healthy Choice what having it all tastes like.