How to Reprogram Your Personality
5 Jan 2022 · 20 min
Rob Dial explains how childhood messages and labels become internalized identities, or
Chapters
For small businesses, every hire matters, but
time and resources are limited.
LinkedIn Hiring Pro is built for that reality, helping you find, connect with and screen the right candidates faster. From drafting jobs to AI powered screening interviews and a conversational interface that lets you describe what you need in plain language, you can spend less time searching and more time connecting with qualified talent. Higher right the first time post your first job and get $100 off towards your job posts@LinkedIn.com dial that's LinkedIn.com dial terms and conditions apply.
Start your day with Quaker Protein Instant Oatmeal. The instant oatmeal Ready to help you tackle whatever your day brings. Like wrangling your toddler into their car seat. That was fun. Coaching your 6th grader soccer team Go Girls. And carrying all the groceries in one trip. Try Quaker Protein Instant Oatmeal Granola and Bars. Great taste and a good source of protein. Quaker Bring out the good
when the flu is keeping you up at night, don't try to tough it out. Knock out your flu symptoms with NYQUIL Intense Flu. You got this. It provides powerful relief of your flu symptoms so you can sleep well through the night. NYQUIL Intense Flu the nighttime Sniffling, aching, aching fever. Best sleep with a flu medicine. Use as directed. Keep out of reach of children.
Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you live in the United States or Canada and you want to receive motivational text messages from me, text me right now. 512-580-9305 once again, 512-580-9305. Today I'm going to teach you how to reprogram your personality. And you might be out there thinking, what the hell does that mean? How can I reprogram my personality? Because I am who I am. I am the person that I am, and that is my personality. There's no way that I'm going to be able to change my personality. I'm here to tell you that your personality is not real. It is not set in stone. It is something that is made up and it's something that you've been following for a really long time. And if you want to stay there and continue to live the personality that you have, you can definitely do. You can absolutely do it if you want to. But it is not real. It's not set in stone. It is something that is Made up. And before I teach you how to actually program your personality and reprogram it, the word personality actually comes from the Greek word personal Persona, which is the Greek word for mask, a mask that people would wear on stage when they were acting. So your personality is a mask that you are wearing. It is not real. It does not exist. And my favorite phrase that goes along with this perfectly is Alan Watts. And he says, you are under no obligation to be who you were five minutes ago. Which means that you can be a different person today than you woke up today. You can start acting differently, you can start thinking differently, you can. You can have different beliefs, and you can start acting like a brand new person if you act like a brand new person long enough. What is that? That is a personality shift. That is a personality change. And so you can change your personality at any point in time. So let me give you a real quick example that'll kind of contextualize a little of this. This a little bit better for you. I was watching Queer Eye not too long ago with my fiance, and there was an Asian woman that was on there, and she was talking about her parents were really tough on her, right? And she thought she was ugly because when she was younger, her aunt told her that she was really ugly. And the way that I remember specifically, I was in the kitchen and I was getting a glass of water, and I was watching this episode, and my fiance was in the other room. And I remember listening to her talk, and I was like, that's crazy. And I went got my glass of water and went back to the couch. And I said, isn't that crazy? It's basically like her aunt came up to her one day when she was younger and put a shirt on her and was like, hey, wear this shirt. It is a shirt that says you're ugly. And she put the shirt on, and she's been wearing it for 30 years now. She was like 37 at the time. And she said it was like six or seven when her aunt said this to her. So her aunt basically put a shirt on her that says, I am ugly. And she's been wearing that shirt every single day for the past 30 years. And you have to think about this. It's kind of crazy. She's been wearing that shirt forever. Somebody in her childhood told her something. She took that as truth. And now she's been playing that role, playing that personality for her entire life. So in your childhood, some people could have come up to you and said something to you, and you've been put you've had that shirt put on. You could have had your parents tell you something. You could have had bullies when you were younger. You could have had someone say that you were fat. And so you've been playing the fat personality for a long time, when in reality you could change it at any moment. And you have to start taking a step back and ask yourself the question, is the personality that I have my true personality, or is this a personality that's been built over years? And there's aspects of it that I want to change because you're all, we're all. Everybody listening right now is wearing a shirt that isn't your shirt. It's dirty shirt, it's a torn shirt. But you wake up every single day and you put it back on. Now it's time for you to become aware of what shirts you're putting on. So what shirt are you wearing? Are you wearing the I'm not good enough shirt? Are you wearing the I'm not smart enough shirt? Oh, I'm not good at math. I'm not really a good reader. I'm ugly. Are you wearing the ugly shirt? Are you wearing the I'll always be overweight shirt? What shirt are you wearing? That's creating the reality for people to treat you a certain way. You know, I want to think of it this way, for instance, right? We all know someone that's an extremely good looking person, right? They're a great looking person, but for some reason they don't have any confidence. Do you know somebody like that good looking person, but for some reason they just don't have any confidence. You can't figure it out. Well, think of it this way. If I was a kid when I was. If I was an ugly kid when I was younger and someone told me, hey Rob, you're ugly. And I took that shirt and I put it on. Even if I grow up and I'm this beautiful person and I look at, I'm just way better looking than everybody else. If I was just a better looking person than everybody else, I can still be carrying myself as an ugly person. Because my belief system is that I'm an ugly person. And so sometimes somebody that you see could be this beautiful woman, but she carries herself very unconfidently and she walks into rooms and you're like, why doesn't she's so beautiful? Why doesn't she see it? Why can't she see it? Why can't she see it? She can't see it because it's not the lens that she's Looking through, there's a chance that maybe she was not the best looking kid. We all know people who are not the best looking kids and you see them later on in life, you're like, whoa, what happened to you?
Right?
People get stuck in that personality of being ugly when they're younger. And then when they get older, no matter what they look like, they can still think that they're ugly and still take actions like that. And here's the crazy thing about it. If somebody is a beautiful person, but they think that they're ugly and they're very unconfident, what's really weird is by the way that they go out and they carry themselves in the world, people will react to them differently. So you could see somebody that's a beautiful human, but they're very unconfident. They don't dress well because they don't think they're pretty. So they don't think that there's any reason to do so. And people will react differently to that person simply because of the way that they are carrying themselves. So people will see the way that someone is acting and they will react to them the way that that person actually sees themself in their own head. That's a pretty crazy thing to realize. So no matter how great someone looks, if somebody doesn't carry themselves with confidence, people will reflect that back to them and treat them accordingly. So it's really interesting to think about it that way. Let's say that, you know, you were a fat kid when you were younger, you were overweight. And if you think that you're, you know, overweight, there's no reason for you to eat healthy because you've always been that way. If the personality, the shirt that you're wearing is that you're overweight and your whole family is overweight and, and it runs in your family, it runs in your genes. And your mom might have told you early on in life that, you know, our family is just overweight and that's just the way that it is. You're never going to work out and you're never going to eat healthy. You're not going to as much because if you're always going to be overweight, what's the point of working out and eating healthy anyways? Why would you ever start working out? It doesn't matter because you're always going to be that way. And so you might have the overweight shirt on. You've had it on your entire life. Maybe that's been the reason why it's been so hard for you to lose weight or for you to get in shape, or for you to love yourself and love your body more.
Teachers are deep into new units this time of year. IXL lets kids practice the exact skills they're learning in class, helping lessons stick and boosting confidence. Heading toward the spring IXL is an award winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning, whether they're building math confidence, strengthening reading and writing skills, or reviewing science concepts. It covers math, language arts, science and social studies from Pre K through 12th grade with personalized interactive content that adapts to the child's level and pace. IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the United States. It's an easy way to support learning as the school year moves into its most important stretch. Make an impact on your child's learning and get IXL now and the Mindset Mentor Listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up at ixl.com mindsetmentor visit ixl.com mindsetmentOr to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Stop paying way too much for wireless just because that's how it's always been. Mint Mobile exists purely to fix that same coverage, same speed, just without the inflated price tag. The premium wireless you expect unlimited talk, text and data, but at a fraction of what others charge. I've been using Mint Mobile for about four years now for my business phone, and it works just as good as all of the carriers that I've ever had. Are you ready to stop paying more? For what? Ready to stop paying more than what you have to. New customers can make the switch today and for a limited time. Get unlimited premium wireless for just $15 per month. Switch now@mintmobile.com mentor that's mintmobile.com mentor upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for 12 month plan $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees Extra initial plan term only over 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Capable device required availability, speed and coverage varies. Additional terms apply. See mintmobile.com Every business is asking the same question. How do we make AI work For us, the possibilities are endless and the guessing is too risky. But sitting on the sidelines is not an option because one thing is almost certain. Your competitors are already making their move. No more WA NetSuite by Oracle. You can put AI to work today. NetSuite is the number one AI cloud, ERP trusted by over 43,000 businesses. It is a unified suite that brings you financials, inventory, commerce, HR and CRM into one single source of truth. Now with NetSuite AI connector, you can use AI of your choice to connect your actual business data and ask every question you ever had from key customers to inventory trends. Plus automate those tiresome manual processes. Let's see your competitors try to do that right now. Get their free business guide demystifying AI at netsuite.com dial the guide is free to you at netsuite.com dial that's netsuite.com dial
hey, let me tell you about my favorite drink that I drink every single morning. It's called Athletic Greens. It's a health and wellness company that makes a comprehensive daily nutrition and it makes it really, really easy and simple to get Every single day. AG1 by Athletic Greens is the category leading superfood product that brings comprehensive and convenient daily nutrition to everybody. Keeping up with the research, knowing what to do and taking a bunch of pills and capsules is really hard on the stomach and hard to keep up with. To keep each of us at our best, they simplify the path to better nutrition by giving you just one thing that has all of the things I literally take this every single morning because it makes getting all of my vitamins and minerals so freaking easy. And just one tasty scoop of AG1 contains 75 vitamins, minerals and whole food source ingredients including my multivitamin, multimineral, probiotic, Green superfood blend and more in just one easy serving. So get your nutrition on point. Go to athleticgreens.com dial and athletic greens is going to give you an immune supporting free one year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with their first purchase. When you visit athleticgreens.com dialogue once again is athleticgreens.com dial to give AG1 a try and to take control of your health. Hey, if you are ready to grow this year, but you don't have a whole lot of time, you've got to download Blinkist. Blinkist is the app that takes all of the important key ideas and takeaways from the world's top nonfiction books and puts them into 15 minute reads or listens. They call these blinks and these blinks you can use to get inspiration, learn more about the books that you want to read or broaden your knowledge to get new perspectives. Blinkist takes all of the top nonfiction books, some of the best books in the entire world, stuff like the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Atomic Habits My Perfect Morning Routine, the four Hour Body, how to Be Fucking awesome. And books like the Power of Habit. And they take all of the key ideas and insights, put them into quick, easy audio explainers so that you can listen to them on the go. Exactly like this podcast. And you can get all of the stuff that you need to from the books without wasting hours and hours and hours actually reading them. And right now, Blinkist has a special offer just for our audience. When you go to blinkist.com mindset, you can use your 7 day free trial and get 25% off of a Blinkist Premium membership. Once again, that's Blinkist spelled B L I N k I s t.com mindset to get 25% off and a seven day free trial. Blinkist, right? What if you're wearing the poor shirt? You were raised poor. All the people that you know are poor. This is the reason why sometimes it's so hard to get out of poverty. Because literally you think to yourself, I'm poor, I was raised poor, I will always be poor. And if you think that to yourself, you're always going to create the reality of poor, I always say this. We all know somebody who is talking about how they never have any money, they're always broke, they're always broke. We all have that friend that's always broke, right? And they literally speak their reality into existence. They say, I'm always poor, I'm always poor, I'm always broke. And then, you know, I have a friend that literally I've known for 15 years and he always talks about how broke he is. And every single time I see him, guess what? He's still freaking broke. He is talking his reality into existence. If you were to just change his thoughts of himself and go, hey, yeah, I was raised poor, but that doesn't mean that I have to be poor. You know, it's like the quote I've heard before. If you're born poor and if you're born poor, that's not your fault. But if you're born poor and you die poor, that is your fault, right? You can change at any point in time. If you're born poor, that's not your fault. But if you're born poor and you die poor, that is your fault. It doesn't matter where you start, it matters where you finish it. So you might be wearing the poor shirt. You might be wearing the I'm not good at math shirt, I'm not a smart person shirt, right? Like, I know that one of the things that I love talking about is imagine, like if you're. Imagine if you're in fourth grade, right? And you have this test and you've been studying really hard for this test, and you really want to do your best for this test, and you study, you study, you study, and you do the best you possibly can on this test. You feel pretty confident about it, and you get your test back and there's a bunch of red marks all over it. And teacher says, this could have been done better. You could have expressed yourself better in this way. You know, I feel like this sentence was a run on sentence. You could have made it much more. You could have put some better context in it and some better words and more adjectives to be more descriptive. And it's just like the paper's red. You can look at that paper and be like, oh, my God, I tried so hard and I still didn't do well. And then what happens? You can think to yourself, I'm stupid. And then you can think you're stupid for the rest of your life simply because of that one event that happened to you. Now, what if you're walking out and the teacher says, hey, hey, hey, come over here real quick. I want to talk to you. Wait till all the kids leave and all the other kids leave and the teacher says, hey, I want to tell you, you know, I know that your sheet looked like it was really. Your test looked like it was really marked up, but I want you to know this. I think that you're smarter than everybody else in this class. And so I'm going to challenge you to be even better because I see what your true potential is. And so I'm going to be harder on you than everybody else because I want the best for you. Do you see how that would change your perception completely differently than had they just marked on the piece of paper, not said anything? So you can have a piece of paper and this is the exact same event, but just a little bit different, right? You can have a piece of paper that's completely marked up and you leave and you think I'm stupid. And you think you're stupid for the rest of your life. You put on that stupid shirt, the one that says I'm stupid. You put it on and you wear it the rest of your life. Or the teacher could say, I think you're smarter than everybody else. I'm going to be harder on you. And you see that and go, oh, wow. The teacher thinks that. The teacher, who's the smartest person that I know, smartest person in this room, do you remember when you were kids how smart the teacher seemed? The smartest person that I know. The person who's teaching me to be smart thinks that I'm the smartest kid. Now imagine how much different would be if you put that shirt on as a kid. You know, there's people that have shirts like the son of an alcoholic shirt, right? I'm the son of an alcoholic. My father passed away when I was 15 from being an alcoholic. And there's a story of the twin boys, right? They grow up with an alcoholic father. And later on down the road, 30 years down the road, one of them, even though they're twins, one of them is a successful CEO and business owner, and one of them is an alcoholic. And they go up to both of them and they said, hey, why are you an alcoholic? To the alcoholic, and he says, I'm an alcoholic because my father's an alcoholic. And then they go up to the CEO and they say, why are you not an alcoholic? And he says, I'm not an alcoholic because my father is an alcoholic. They had the exact same upbringing, but two completely different perspectives. The beautiful thing about it, none of it is true. It's all made up in your head. All of your personality, everything, your belief system, your personality, way that you act, all of those things, all of those are made up in your head. But you wake up every day and you put that shirt on. So what is the shirt that you would prefer to wear? So if you're starting to identify as I'm talking about this, what is the shirt that you're wearing and what is the shirt that you would prefer to wear? Maybe if you're wearing the ugly shirt like I was talking about, maybe the shirt that you're gonna wear from now on says, I love myself and I'm beautiful. How differently would you react in this world if you constantly had in the back of your head, I love myself and I'm beautiful. I love myself and I'm beautiful. Would you have more confidence? Because we all know somebody who's not the best looking person and maybe not even a good looking person, but they're confident as hell, right? And that's a little bit attractive. And you're like, damn, this is pretty attractive. But we all know somebody who's really a great looking person, but there's no confidence. And so when we change the way that we see ourselves, people change the way that they react around us based off of the way that we show up differently in the world. If you're wearing the I'm Overweight shirt. Oh, I'm overweight. My family's overweight. It's in my jeans. I'll just always be overweight. What if you change the shirt to I'm going to lose weight? It might be harder for me. You know, it is harder for some people to lose weight than others, for sure. But is it impossible?
No.
So I'm going to lose weight. That's the shirt that I'm going to. That I'm going to wear. It's the reason why people will gain. The people will lose weight and then gain it all back. Did you know that 97% of people who lose 20 pounds or more, 97% of them gain it all back.
Why?
Because they changed their body for a short period of time, but they didn't change their shirt. They didn't change their personality. They didn't change their perception of themselves. They and their outward body, like the body they could see in the external world, did not line up with the internal way that they viewed their body. It's a reason why a lot of people win the lottery and then they go broke and they go bankrupt within four or five years. They never take their shirt off. They never take off the overweight shirt. They never take off the broke shirt. You know, it's the poor shirt. Oh, I was raised poor. I'll always be poor. That's not the case. If you have the I'm poor shirt, how can you change it to I used to be poor, but I'm going to be financially free. I'm going to make $100,000 a year. I'm going to be financially stable. I'm going to be a millionaire one day? What if you change your shirt from I'm poor and will always be poor to I will be a millionaire one day? How are you going to act differently in this world? What are you going to do differently? The I'm not smart enough, I'm not good at math shirt? Whatever. The alcoholism runs in my family shirt, right? My mom's. One of my mom's biggest fear when I was a child was that I would grow up to be an alcoholic. And I was like, no, there's no fucking way on this planet that I'm gonna be an alcoholic. I made that decision a long time ago when I saw my father in a casket. It's not happening to me. That was just a viewpoint. But I could have also had the viewpoint of, oh, my gosh, I've heard of the alcoholic gene. And I'm probably gonna be an alcoholic because my dad Was an alcoholic. Guess what? My grandfather's alcoholic too. I might have it. No, my personality. And what I've decided is I will never be an alcoholic. I do not have an addictive personality. I will not have that. If the gene actually exists, I'm gonna kill that fucking gene. There's no way. How can you have that mentality around whatever it is, the shirt that you're wearing and what the future is that you want? There's a book that's a book, old book, I think some like the 30s, 40s, 50s called psycho cybernetics. And it was a guy who was a surgeon and he would notice that people would get so surgery sometimes and come back a completely different person. And then sometimes people would get surgery and they come back and be the exact same person. It started being weird to him where he was like, man, you know, somebody came in and they would have like a mole on their face, and they were just sad and quiet and lonely and depressed and they would get a mole taken off of their face and they would come back the next appointment and they would be happy and they would be confident, they would be dressed better and they would be holding themselves differently. He's like, what the hell is going on? How is that possible? All we did was remove a mole. Well, that person thought that the mole is what made them ugly. And their personality and their actions and their beliefs and their thoughts of themselves change when simply just a mole was removed. So what shirt do you need to take off? Take your shirt off. What shirt do you need to put on? And what's the strategy to not put the old shirt on anymore? Because it's not going to change in one day. You have to realize it's a complete reprogramming that you have to go through when you have to become very aware. You hear me say this all the time. If you've listened to podcasts, you have to develop self awareness. When you start to notice yourself going back into the I'm overweight shirt, or you start to notice yourself going into the I'll always be poor. You have to have the awareness to click yourself out of it and go, nope, I'm not always going to be poor. I was poor. I'm going to be a millionaire one day. I'm overweight. No, no, no, I'm not overweight. I have been overweight. But I am going to love myself and get the body that I want. It won't happen overnight. It won't happen in one day. It's a complete reprogram and it requires you to be very conscious of what it is that you're thinking and the actions that you're taking, the things that you believe. And whenever the bad beliefs and the things in the old shirts start to rear their ugly heads, taking them off and putting a new shirt on. So what shirt are you wearing? What shirt do you want to wear? Now for those of you guys that are parents, I got a question for you. What shirt are you making your children wear? Oh, oh, this might mess your day up if you start to really think about it. What shirt are you putting on your children? Are you putting on the shirt that you want them to wear? Because you have to realize you're programming them with the way that you're acting around them. So are the shirt, the shirts that you're putting on your children, the perception of themselves and the person on their building, is it the one that you want or would you prefer it to be maybe more confident, maybe not speak to them that way? Maybe, you know, you want them to act differently in the world and how can you help them have the best personality that they can have so that they grow up strong and not having self limiting beliefs? What shirt are you putting around those putting the people putting on? Geez, I'm gonna try to get some words here right for you guys. What shirt are you making those around you wear? And how can you help them change their perception of themself? And I'm gonna leave you with this quote that's perfect by the Buddha and it says, just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over again. Just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over and over again. What skin, AKA shirt, do you need to shed and what shirt do you need to put on? So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a favor right now. Take your phone out, take this, you know, screenshot or whatever it is, share this on your Instagram stories and tag me in it. Robdial Jr R O B D I A L J R or go ahead and just, you know, take a picture of you listening to it in your car and then post on your Instagram whatever it is. And if you're on Instagram and you want some extra motivation and inspiration, follow me on Instagram. Robdial Jr. I have over 360,000 people that follow me on there. I put stories and I put up videos and I put whatever I can to try to help you become the best version of yourself. So you can follow me on Instagram there. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission. Make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.
When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. You're the expert because you know what fits your life. And getting it right starts with good information. That's why America's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients@goodtokknowfacts.org no spin, no judgments. Just the facts straight from the experts. For more than 140 beverage ingredients, visit goodtokonofacts.org Start your day with Quaker Protein Instant Oatmeal. The instant oatmeal ready to help you tackle whatever your day brings. Like wrangling your toddler into their car seat. That was fun. Coaching your 6th graders soccer team Go Girls. And and carrying all the groceries in one trip. Try Quaker Protein Instant Oatmeal Granola and Bars. Great taste and a good source of protein. Quaker bring out the good.