On The Other Side Of Suffering is GREATNESS (How To Overcome It & USE IT TO GROW)| Rob Dial

The life that you want is on the other side of the discomfort. The life that you have is on this side of discomfort. Today we're going to be talking about how to get what you want in your life through suffering. And I understand this sounds crazy at the beginning, but I'm going to teach you a concept called applied suffering. And actually, the first time that I heard somebody speak about this and actually put it in a really, like, it was something that I already knew. But to hear somebody as successful as Will Smith speak about it really made me realize, oh, my gosh, this is a concept that I can completely understand. Cause I've done this in my own life, and I know many people who have done this as well by using applied suffering. So if you want to learn how to get what you want through some form of suffering. I know it sounds sexy. This is definitely gonna be the lesson for you. So I'm gonna talk about suffering. And I understand that when we think about suffering, suffering has a very bad connotation. If I say, hey, you can get what you want through suffering, there's a part of you that shuts off and you're like, I don't want to suffer, though. Like, why the hell would I want to suffer? Like, I want the beautiful feelings. I want love and happiness and gratitude. Why would I want to feel like I'm suffering? But we're going to talk about how necessary it is to suffer sometimes to actually get what you want and to put yourself through some suffering in order to get to the beautiful side as well. And you know, there's a difference between pain and suffering. These are two separate things. Let me talk about this before we dive into actually how to use applied suffering. So pain is inevitable. You will not go through your life without some pain, whatever it is, a heartbreak, a death of someone that you love, getting screwed over by a business partner, a friend talking trash about you when you thought they had your back. Whatever it is, you can't get through through this life unscathed. It's impossible. That is pain. Pain will happen, and there's nothing that you can do about pain. Now, suffering on the other side, suffering is not inevitable. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is an option. It is optional to suffer. And let me tell you what I mean by that. First off, before we dive deeper into it, pain. You know, my father passed away when I was 15 years old. That was a painful event. So suffering would be. It's been 19 years now, and to still have something like that holding me back means I am suffering from an event. That happened into the past. So how can we use applied suffering? Let's talk about how to use applied suffering to grow. Now. One thing that people don't really realize is that pain is actually the stimulus for a human to grow. Pain is the stimulus to tell the human body, the human brain, to take action, to move. Let me give you an example of what I mean. If you put your hand on a hot stove, that immediate pain is a stimulus for your body to move into action, to change. If you go to the gym and you work out, and I don't mean injure yourself, but I mean like you put yourself through pain, through applied suffering, that would be, that is a stimulus for your body to grow. It's forcing your body to grow, it's forcing your body to change, it's forcing your body to move. It's forcing your body to do this, to take action. Putting your hand on a hot stove on accident, you'll immediately get the stimulus of this is painful, I need to move. So how can we use that to our advantage? And the thing about that as well, before I actually dive into it, is, is whether it's God, whether it's the universe, wherever it's, whatever you believe in is, the universe will also speak to you in a whisper. I always say this to people. Universal speaks to you in a whisper. That's why it's good to meditate and to be quiet and to sit there and ask yourself what you need. And it'll speak to you in a whisper. You'll kind of get some ideas, you'll kind of get some things on how you should change. And then if you don't listen to it, it'll get a bit, little bit louder, it'll get a little bit louder, it'll get a little bit louder. And then if you don't listen for a long time, the universe will smack the crap out of you and be like, dude, you gotta make a change. And that change could be through a breakup, it could be through a car crash, it could be through a disease, it could be through someone that you love dying. It's just something where the universe shakes you up and is like, listen to me, this is not what you should be doing. And you need to make a change. But we're not making a change usually. Then we usually have to get that universal wake up call because we're too busy being stuck inside of what, our comfort zones. Humans become addicted to their comfort zones. Humans actually avoid discomfort. People fear uncomfortability. They I don't even know if uncomfortability is a word. They fear being uncomfortable. They fear the unknown, stepping outside of their comfort zones. And humans will do anything. Not everybody, but most humans will do anything that they can to avoid discomfort. And I'm here to tell you that discomfort is actually what you need to push you into the direction that you wanna go. And so when I talk about comfort zones, you may have heard me talk about this before. I like to think of almost everything that humans do today and try to think, how does this relate to us 100,000 years ago? I like to think back to our cavemen and hunter gatherer days. What does this, how is this, why is this part of our brain still exist? And, and what benefit did it have 100,000 years ago that it doesn't really benefit us anymore? And when I think about a comfort zone, the way that I like to think about it in a caveman sense is it's kind of like your cave. So if you were to think of cavemen, the reason why they would go into caves is because you're completely surrounded by cave, which means that you're completely safe for what, 330 degrees, and then there's just a little opening to a cave door. And that's the only things you have to protect. So a comfort zone is like a cave. If you stay inside of that cave, you're safe. Now, we all know you can't stay on that side of that cave forever, but you will get that feeling. A hundred thousand years ago, if you were a caveman, you would get the feeling of safety, of comfort, of, now I can finally rest. Now I can go to sleep. But when you step outside of that cave, game on. You don't know what's out there. You don't know if there's a saber tooth tiger. You don't know if there's a bear. You don't know if there's something hiding in the bushes that could kill you. And so we have this natural inclination to fear stepping outside of that cave. The same thing works the exact same way with the human brain of stepping outside of your comfort zone. You know where you currently are, you're safe, you're alive, but it's not, probably not where you want to be. You want more, right? And so you have to realize there's a part of your brain called the amygdala, the part of the brain that creates the fear. That's the fear mechanism inside of your brain. And so even though you consciously know by stepping out of your comfort zone, you're not going to die. But your amygdala creates all of these fears the same way that your brain would create fears of why you shouldn't step outside of the cave. Does it make sense to you? So a cave a hundred thousand years ago, because we don't have to worry about walking down the street and being attacked by a lion, but we still have that fear creating mechanism called the amygdala inside of our brain. And now instead of a cave, we have comfort zones and we try to stay there for safety. Because your brain is designed to do one thing and that's to keep you alive. And so it's got built in mechanisms to keep you alive. And if you could understand the way that your brain works and why it works the way that it does, you can use it to your advantage versus having it hold you back. So now that I've said that the reason why comfort exists is to keep you alive, to keep you inside of that cave. But I wanna tell you this, your comfort zone is where your dreams go to die. Everything that you want, the life that you want, the people that you want to impact, the relationships that you want, the money that you want, the house, the cars, the clothes, the success, whatever it is that you want, everything that you want is outside of that comfort zone. And you've got to make a decision of either I'm going to stay in this comfort zone and I'm going to die here exactly the way that I am now, or if I want to live a life that I truly want, I'm going to have to push myself out of this comfort zone. I'm going to have to push myself out of this cave, to knowing that the amygdala, the brain, is going to create fear to try to keep me there. And so what I need to do is this, not listen to the fear and to embrace the discomfort. The discomfort is your friend. It's crazy to me to think of how our society and how humans literally do everything that they possibly can to avoid discomfort. And the reason why is because I don't think that people fully, truly understand that discomfort is your friend. It is built for you to push through. Because through pushing through, creating that pain and through that applied suffering, you will come out stronger and better. On the other end, you will be a bigger, better version of yourself. And when you're a bigger, better version of yourself, you can show up for the world in a much better way. And the way I always like to think of it is this. I like to think of, I really believe that working out is so similar to Just life in general. In order to create the body that you want, you've got to have applied suffering. You've got to sweat it out. You've got to push yourself harder than you want to. You've got to turn that little part of your brain that says, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. You've got to turn that off, shut it up and push past it. You've got to push past it. Sometimes the point of throwing up, you've got to push past it to actually make your body hurt, to wake up and be sore, because you've literally pushed your muscles to the extreme that your body has to adapt and come back stronger. That's exactly the way it works inside of your mindset and inside of your brain. So the discomfort. If you're going to create the body that you want to lose the weight or to gain the muscle that you've been wanting your entire life, you've got to be uncomfortable. You've got to realize that discomfort is your friend. Your body will change when you push past the point of being comfortable and force it to change. The same thing works with your mindset and with your brain. They work exactly the same way. Your comfort zone, once again, as I said, is where your dreams go to die. So if you feel like you're stuck inside of your comfort zone and you're like, you know what? I need to wake up earlier, and you feel that resistance of waking up at 6am, it's okay, that's not a bad thing. It's showing you that that's the point of your discomfort and you need to actually mentally push past it. What do you do? The same way that you force yourself to lift weight, to show up in the gym, to sweat it out, to almost throw up, you need to force yourself, when that alarm clock goes off at 6am to not listen to that little part of your brain that says, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. But. But to be like, screw you, little voice inside of my head, I'm going to do it. I'm going to push past the point of comfortable. I'm going to seek discomfort. And that's the main thing that I want you to understand from this episode, is that you have to seek discomfort if you are truly going to have the life that you want. The life that you want is on the other side of the discomfort. The life that you have on this side of discomfort, and I understand your life right now, it might be terrible, Your life might be okay, or your life might be great. Right now. But you wouldn't be sitting here listening to this unless there was something inside of you that said, I want more. I want more happiness, I want to impact more people, I want more success, I want more money. Whatever it is that you want, you want more. That's why you're here. And so if you're sitting here watching this or listening to this, you have to realize, you have to push past that point of discomfort when you hear the little. The key part is this. When you hear that little part of your brain that says, no, don't do this, don't do this, don't do this, that's a good sign. But you have to not listen to that little part of the brain. That's the important thing. The part of the brain that says, no, don't do this. You know, you can sleep in, skip the gym today, or you know, you're at the gym, then you're supposed to do five sets, just stop at three. No one will ever know. That little voice inside of your head is a good sign. But you've got to know, if that voice pops up, it is your job to destroy that little voice. That little voice is showing you where your limit is, and you've got to push past it to get everything that you want. And here's the key to what I'm going to say today and what I want to leave you with. Couple questions, and I'm going to give you an assignment of something I actually want you to try that will help you push past this discomfort, which it's really fun. You're going to actually love this. And I'm excited to hear who actually does this. First question is this. When I feel that little voice that's trying to hold me back, the question I'm gonna ask me is, ask myself, is this. Is it going to kill me? Is this going to kill me? Here's what you'll know is 99.9% of the time, it's not going to kill you. But your brain still goes back to that fear mechanism, the amygdala of getting attacked by a lion when you walk outside of a cave. And so you have that built in fear inside of you. Is it going to kill me? No. Okay, so then, should I listen to this little voice? No. So, number one, is it going to kill me? Number two, can this help me grow? Going to the gym, pushing past the point of discomfort, asking that person out, whatever it is, is going to help me grow. Asking for the raise. So number one, is it going to kill me? Number Two, is it going to help me out? And if those answers are both, is it gonna kill me? No. Is it going to help me grow? Yes. Okay, then I need to go full force into whatever it is. And you need to seek the discomfort. And here's the assignment that I'm going to give you. I've given this to many people, and I've heard so many different people say how many different ways it's helped them realize that their fears are actually ridiculous. And I'm really big on breaking past social norms and not paying attention to social norms. And here's what I'm going to tell you. I want you to do something today that makes you absolutely 100% uncomfortable. 100% uncomfortable. I'm going to give you two different examples of what that could look like. And I've had people, I've said this before, and I've had people send me videos. I've had people send me emails explaining it to me. And here's what I want you to do. When you go into a store today or a coffee shop today, I want you to do one of two things. If you walk into Starbucks, let's say, for instance, and you're in line, what I want you to do is this. I want you to lay down on the ground for 30 seconds. Now you're probably sitting there being like, why the hell would I do that? And the reason why is because there's a little voice inside of your head that says, no, you shouldn't do that. Because we have been programmed by society of what we should do and what we shouldn't do. Is it going to hurt anybody to lay on the ground? Of course it's not going to. Is it going to kill you to lay on the ground? Of course it's not going to. Could it help in your growth? Yes. How would it help in your growth? By pushing you to realize nobody cares anyways. People are so busy thinking about themselves that they're never paying attention to you anyways. So I've had people send me pictures, videos of them laying down in Walmart. I've had people send me videos of them laying down in Starbucks, all these different coffee shops. And immediately I know some of you are out there and you're thinking this to yourself, oh, my gosh, but the floor's so dirty, right? Who cares? Is it really that big of a deal? Go home, take a shower. It's not a big deal. You'll be fine. So that's the first thing that I say, is you can lay down on the Ground. The second thing, if you don't want to do that, is no matter what you do, whenever you go to check out somewhere today, here's what I want you to do. Ask for 20% off, no matter what. That's it. When someone's ringing you up, they say, okay, your sandwich is, you know, $11. Say, can I get 20% off? People will be like, why? I don't know. Just because I want 20% off. They could either say yes to you or they could say no to you. But what you're doing is you're finding. I mean, that's uncomfortable. It's not the most comfortable thing. Just ask for a discount for no reason, right? But here's what's funny. A lot of times, people will just give you a discount because you asked for it. I literally had one time. I told this to a group of people, and one of the ladies that was in the group sent me an email a couple days later, and she said she went to go buy a purse. She spent $600. The purse was $600. And she said, Can I get 20% off? The lady's like, yeah, I mean, I guess she can. She gave her 20% off. She saved $120 just because she asked. And you have to realize to have the life that you want, to have, the business you want to have everything that you want, you're gonna have to ask some uncomfortable questions sometimes, so why not get used to it now? And if you get rejected, no big deal, that's fine. You didn't die from rejection. And that's a big thing that people need to realize anyways, is that rejection is not going to kill you. It's not a huge deal. And so if you want to build a business you want or get into the relationship you want, maybe ask out that beautiful person that you've been following around for a long time, and you see him inside of your office, and you're like, damn, I really want to ask them out. Get comfortable asking the uncomfortable questions. Ask for 20% off. So that's one of the. Pick one of those two assignments today. And what I want you to do is send me an email, or if you're watching this on YouTube or Facebook, comment down below and let me know if you've done this and what you got from it. But I want you to either lay down inside of some store for 30 seconds, just lay down, time yourself, and then stand up and walk away, or number two, ask for 20% off and have absolutely no reason why, because most people are afraid of doing it. If it's showing that you're afraid of doing it shows you that you're uncomfortable. And what we're trying to do is we're trying to train you to seek discomfort, to understand that discomfort as your friend. And the way that you do this is through applied suffering. Applied suffering is forcing yourself to find growth when growth might not even be necessary. Hey, thanks so much for watching this video. If you want to learn even more about mastering your mind, click right here and watch this video as well. You have to live a fulfilled life, even if you make less, because would you rather have your children be happy or successful?