A mentor works like an outside observer of a relationship, spotting patterns you can't see in yourself. Friends miss problems because they're too close. The best coaches challenge you by naming the habits holding you back, once you let them.
Chapters
We all have friends that have been in relationships and you're on the outside of this relationship looking in, and everybody outside of the relationship, all their friends or family members, like, get out of the relationship, person's crazy, they're not right for you, whatever it is. And your friends, like, no, no, no, he's great, like he's getting better, all of these things. And then they get out of the relationship and they look at it and they're like, what the hell is going? Like, why was I in that relationship for so long? Like, that was the worst relationship ever. But it's because the fact that they're in this relationship that they don't notice it. They're in the day to day, they miss all the other things. When they take themselves out of it and they can look at it from an outside perspective, they see all of the problems, they see all of the things that they probably should have left, reasons why they should have left the relationship before. When you have a mentor, it's kind of like having a person on the outside looking in and telling you about this bad relationship in your brain and all of the ways where they can, if you give them permission, like, call me out on my bs. When you have a mentor that's out there of someone that you trust and you know that they can give you the tough love. Some of the best coaches that I ever have when I played sports were the ones that I hated. Some of the stuff they said to me, but they said it to me because they needed to give me tough love. If you have a mentor that can give you tough love, that person could be on the outside and you talk to them daily or weekly or monthly, whatever it is, the mentor that you have, they're kind of like the person outside of that relationship because you're in that relationship in your day to day and you don't notice your habits or your patterns. A lot of things that I have with my coaching clients is I just notice patterns and habits where they hold themselves back and then once they hear someone say it, they go, oh, I guess, yeah, I probably do. That is a pattern that I have. I do allow myself to come up just a little bit short of my goals all of the time. And so I think that the benefit of having a mentor, especially for me, was he would just call me out on all my things.
