This Trick Destroys ANXIETY In 30 Seconds! | Rob Dial

Rob Dial argues that anxiety comes from trying to control the uncontrollable. His 30-second trick: pause and ask yourself, "Are you okay right now?" By accepting what you can't change instead of resisting reality, you stop stealing your own present-moment peace.
Chapters
I want you to think about the things that are making you anxious and ask yourself this question. Do I have any control over those things? Today we're going to be talking about anxiety and we're going to be talking specifically about COVID anxiety. We're going to be talking about something that I should have probably talked about quite a long time ago. But I talked quite a bit about anxiety and all of those things in March and April and as things were going on and then I had a conversation with a friend about COVID about all the things that are happening. And I'm not going to give you my world perspective because who needs to hear another opinion in this world? So I'm not going to give you any opinions on anything. But what I will tell you is how I know how to work through anxiety, how I've helped myself get through anxiety, how I've had my friends help get through anxiety, have had clients get through anxiety and stress and depression. All those. We probably need to admit it like this has been, for most people, a heavy year. It has been a lot of unknown things that we did not see coming up that have come up right and lost. If you're a person's very head and analytical type of person, you might just be ready for this to be over. I'm actually pretty sure that everybody who's listening to this is ready for this to be over. Us accepting that. And I'm here to tell you everybody, it'll be all right. It will eventually work itself out. And the quicker that we just accept that it is the way that it is right now and that it will eventually be alright, that I think the easier it'll make our lives until it gets to at least some feeling of normalcy. And I'm gonna try to help you feel better. And I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and we were talking about COVID and the fact that she's going home to her parents for Christmas. And she has a lot of anxiety around possibly bringing Covid home to her parents for the holidays, which is the worst Christmas gift you could give your parents. But she's afraid of giving that to her parents. Going home for the holidays. Completely understandable. Makes a whole lot of sense. And she was talking about that. But more than anything else, what she was really anxious about is the fact that Covid is still around, the fact that we're still dealing with this thing. What are we, nine months into it? And she was just talking about how she was anxious and stressed because of that. Then the conversation went a Little bit further. And she was talking about, you know, the other thing that scares me a lot as well is the economy. Like, I don't know what's going to happen with the economy, with all of the inflation that's going on with, you know, about 20% of the world's money or the US's money was just printed this year and, you know, and just what's going to happen with the economy? And then she went into rolling into how she's also having these anxious thoughts around getting these test results that she's waiting for her dog. And, you know, the dog, the, the, the issues that's happening with her dog and the fact that her dog might have cancer. And she's just at this point in time, it's a waiting game for all of them, right? She. So it's a waiting game for the test results for the dog. It's a waiting game for seeing eventually if Covid's ever going to pass or what's going to happen with our lives next. And it's a waiting game to see what's going to happen with the economy. And I let her go through and talk about it and talk about it. And then what happened was I mentioned to her that the things that she's having all of this stress and anxiety around, she has absolutely no control over. And that's what's giving her stress and anxiety, right? So she has no control over what's going on in Covid. She has zero control over that. She also has zero control over. Over the economy, and she also has zero control over test results from blood work that was done a few days ago for her dog. Zero control over all three of those things. Now, before I go any further, I want you to think about the things that are making you anxious and ask yourself this question. Do I have any control over those things? All of the things that are bringing you worry and fear and anxious thoughts, do you have any control over them? Or do you have those anxious thoughts and feelings around them simply because of the fact that you have no control over them? And you want to have control, but you don't. So your anxious thoughts could be coming from the fact that you want to have control over something that you absolutely will never have control over. And you haven't just fully accepted that lack of control because of those three things that I mentioned to you about my friend. None of them, literally none of them, she can control. She cannot do anything, anything about those. And it's not that those things don't exist. They all exist. It's that she's fighting them in her mind, and that is bringing in the anxiety. So what are you fighting? Are you fighting things? And the other thing that she's not doing is she's not accepting. She's not accepting that they exist, they are here, they are the way that they are. She's just not accepting them. She is resisting the way that the world currently is right now. Right? That's what at its simplest form. She is resisting the way that the world currently is. She's resisting the COVID She's resisting the economy, she's resisting resisting the dog's test results. She's just resisting. And this is not uncommon. I was reading an article the other day. It says depression has gone up four times, 400% from the exact same time last year. And I think a lot of the reason why is because people are feeling all of these anxious thoughts and at the same time, they're not accepting the way that the world is and they're not allowing themselves to learn and grow and get better in these times and be able to work through it because they just so badly want the world to go back to, quote, unquote, normal, whatever bit of normalcy that they can have again. And if you've listened to my podcast before, you've heard me say this, your level of stress, anxiety, worry and fear and depression, unless you're clinically depressed, there's a completely different. That's a whole other episode that we could do. But your level of worry, anxiety, sadness, fear, all of those things, anxiety, all the. Your level of it will be in direct proportion to how much you're resisting the way that the world is. So if you're extremely anxious right now, I guarantee you are extremely resisting the way that the world is. You're extremely resisting something that is out there in the world, right? If you're having low levels of anxiety, just a little bit, maybe it's just bubbling under the surface, which I feel is, for most people, how it usually works. It's not that it's full blown anxiety attacks, it's just. It's just a little bit of anxiety that's bubbling under the surface all day, every day. And the reason why is probably because you have a low level of resisting the way that the world is. You're wishing, all right, well, yeah, you know, it is this way, but I just wish it would go back to normal. I'm just so. I just want to go back to work, I want to see my friends again. I want to be able to hug my mom and it's not that it's a full blown panic attack for you. It might just be that you're just resisting versus full acceptance. You know, there's a shaman that I've worked with in the past and done psychedelics with, and he says just surrender harder. Right? Just surrender harder. That's what we all kind of need to do right now. And actually, what we need to do probably for the rest of our lives is just surrender harder. I'm not saying surrender to the powers to be. If you think that the, you know, the economy and the COVID all that stuff is being put on by some masterminds behind the scenes. I'm not saying surrender those. I'm saying surrender the fact that it is the way that the world is right now. And at this moment, there's nothing that I know of that we can do about it. So do I want Covid to exist anymore? No. Hell no, of course I don't. But what can I do about it? What can I personally do about COVID Right? I'm just a college dropout. I don't know about COVID I don't know anything about all that science and stuff. I can barely formulate words sometimes. How am I going to save the world from COVID I'm not. So do I want it to be here? No. But it is here. And I've got to figure out a way just to accept that. And you can either resist or you can accept. Those are the two things that you can really do. Yeah, it is the way that it is. It's not what I would have chosen, but it is the way that it is. And what you have to realize is that's completely my decision. And you can resist or you can accept, and that is completely your decision as well. It's for fully 100% up to you in. What you have to realize is that the more that you're resisting, the more that you're stealing away your joy in the present moment. Your joy is being stolen from you in this present moment because of your resistance. Your joy, your happiness, your peace in this moment is being stolen from you because you won't just fully accept that, hey, the world is the way that it is, right? If somebody breaks up with you, your joy is stolen from you. If you're resisting and going, God, I just wish that we would be back together again. And you're thinking about how the past used to be, and you're thinking about your love and all of the times that you hung out and watched Netflix and chilled and had all of those great moments, you're like, God, I just want it to be that way again. But it's not. And guess what? The more that you're resisting the fact that it isn't the way that you want it to be, obviously, the more that it's going to be holding you back, the more anxiety and stress and worry and fear you're going to be having around that thing. And you have to realize, if your joy is being stolen from you in the present moment, your life is just a collection of present moments. That's all that it is. There is no past, and there is no future. Everything that has happened to you and will ever happen to you in your entire life is in the present moment. Nothing has happened to you in the past. The past is just a present moment that has passed. Right? Nothing has happened to you in the future yet. But when that future thing does happen, that will be a present moment. And so if we're really serious about this and trying to make ourselves feel better, we need to be very aware that our entire life is just the present moment. The only thing that. That does exist and will ever exist for us is the present moment. And if we're resisting Covid, if we're resisting the economy, if we're resisting a breakup, if we're resisting test results, all of those things, we're resisting it. And having our joy stolen from us in this moment when we fully can experience the love and the joy and the happiness and the peace that we truly want to. If we were to just step into it and accept, stop resisting and go, what is great about this moment right now and just allowing ourself to sink into the present moment more than anything else. And the perfect question to ask yourself, and this is what I asked my friend. I said, okay, now that we've gone through all these things, I got a question for you. The question is, are you okay right now? She's like, what do you mean? I was like, in this moment, in this very second, are you okay? And she's like, well, yeah. I mean, I'm good. You know, I've got this coming up and this. I was like, no, no, no, no. I don't care about bills. I don't care about anything that's happening in the future. I don't care about any of that. In this very second, are you safe and are you okay? She's like, yes. And I was like, now, just think about that thought. Just. Just marinate on that thought. How does it make you feel? She's like, it makes me feel a lot better. And the reason why is because all of the stress and anxiety that we have is all for things that could possibly be happening in the future. We make up all of these ghosts and demons into the future that could possibly exist. But in reality, it's never about those things. It's always about this present moment.
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