Unlocking Your Potential: How To Grow Yourself & Empower Others

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. Today we're gonna be talking about how to unlock your own potential. And then in doing so, how do you also help other people around you grow, flourish, become who they could possibly be as well? And to start, I'm gonna give you one of my favorite analogies for life. And I was planting something the other day. Like we have one of those little, those little things that grow inside of the house. Lettuce grow, I think is what it's called. And I was looking at a seed, and I was looking at a seed for strawberries, and I was thinking to myself, it was crazy because it's this little teeny tiny seed, and this little, teeny tiny seed has the potential to grow into a plant that has strawberries that will feed me, that will feed my family. And I thought to myself, it's this little teeny tiny seed. Like, have you ever actually stopped to think about how amazing a seed is? Or if you see a seed for a tree in these like huge trees, it has the potential to become a hundred foot tree. And it's a little teeny tiny seed, like a millimeter wide sometimes. And you start to think about this, and you start to think about all of the potential that's inside of this seed could create a beautiful plant. Like, let's take for instance, a flower, right? What's your favorite flower? Sunflower seed. Okay, you know what, a sunflower seed, it's a little bit bigger, right? So you look at a sunflower seed, and inside of that sunflower seed, this black and white and gray sunflower seed has the potential to grow an eight foot sunflower. Beautiful green, it's yellow, it's amazing, right? And you think of this, and I want you to think of that sunflower, and I want you to think of a gardener for that sunflower. When you look at a gardener's job, what is a gardener's job when he is growing that sunflower? His job is to allow the seed to become what it's supposed to be, right? To give it space, make sure it has enough space to nurture it, to water it, to make sure that it has enough sun to create a space for it to bloom to its highest capacity, to give it the air that it needs, to make sure it's in the right location where he plants it. His job is basically to help that flower become what it is able to become, right? To nurture it. Now, what happens if the flower doesn't get all that if it doesn't get the water that it needs, if it doesn't get the sun amount that it needs, if it doesn't get the air that it needs, if you were to take it and put it in a pot, instead of putting it outside in the sun, he puts it inside of the shed. What happens to that flower if it doesn't get all of that? The flower does not grow to its full potential. We can all agree on this, right? What happens if the gardener decides to take a mason jar as it starts to finally come through the come through the soil? He puts a mason jar, flips it upside down and puts a mason jar on top of it. What's going to happen? It's going to restrict its growth. It's not going to get the sun it needs, it's not going to have the space that it needs. It's going to restrict its growth. It might have a weak flower, it might kill its leads off it leaves off. It might actually even kill the flower. So his job as a gardener is to nurture it, nothing else. Not to change it, not to restrict it, but to nurture it. Now I want you to think about this and I want you to think about how that relates to all of your relationships. First, we're going to talk about other people in your life and we're going to talk about your relationship to other people and how other people affect you. And then we're going to talk about how you affect other people in your life as well in your relationships. And you start to think about everyone that's around you and you start to think about all of the relationships that you have in your relationships. Let's say, you know, let's talk about you and others life. Actually first let's do that. Let's talk about you and others life and then we'll talk about you in other people's life. If you're the gardener, how are you showing up? Are you nurturing? Are you watering and helping those people grow? Are you giving them the light, the affirmation that they need? Are you helping other people around you bloom? Your job in a relationship is to help other people grow. It's not for what you want them to be, not to have them grow into what you want, but what they were here to become. You know, I always hear from a lot of people, I'm in the self development industry, right? And so one of the things that I hear from people is people will discover self development. They're married, they've been married for three or four years, 10 years, whatever it might be, the wife, she'll discover personal development, and then she'll start reading. And she comes up to me, and she's like, hey, so here's the deal. I've been reading for a few years. I've been on this personal development kick, and I've been trying to get my husband to read. I've been trying to get my husband to work out with me. I've been trying to get my husband to go to conferences with me. And it's in. What happens is, she's like, how do I. And I always hear this question, how do I change him? How do I make him get into these things? And really what it comes down to is they're trying to change him into what they want them to be. I hear this from men, I hear this from women. I hear from both. But really what it comes down to is, are you trying to mold them into what you want them to be? If it's not personal development, is it something else? Are you trying to mold them if they're very outgoing, Are you trying to say, hey, don't be so loud, like, what you want? Oh, I'm triggered by you being so loud. You be a little bit quieter. Oh, you're too outgoing. Oh, you always make so many crude jokes, whatever it might be. Are you trying to mold them into what you want them to be, or are you allowing them to become who they were put here to become? Are you trying to change them or you trying to help them grow? How are you showing up for them? Think about that for a second. Like, for me with my wife, we've been together for nine and a half years now, but the first four years of us dating, she wasn't in a personal mom at all. Like, at all. I bought her books. I tried to get her to go to conferences. She didn't read one damn book. And then one day, she just decided she was gonna do it. And so there was a little bit of me trying to force it. And I was like, you know what? If this isn't her thing, this isn't her thing. This is definitely my thing. And then eventually, she just caught onto it. But what happened was, once I kind of gave up and tried to stop changing her is when she actually kind of became more open to it. And so when you start to think about that, you could ask yourself, are you trying to change them, or are you trying to be the lighthouse? Are you trying to be the example instead of forcing them to read a book, instead of forcing them to work out, instead of Forcing them to go to conferences. Why don't you be the person that is the example of how those things actually changed you so that maybe one day they go, whatever she's got, I want that. What's going on? What have you been doing? And they start asking you questions. Same way that if you see a friend you haven't seen in a while and they've lost £40, the first thing you're gonna ask them is, what? What have you been doing? Right? You want to know what other people are doing to get happier, to get healthier, to become more successful? Hey, if you're loving this episode, please do me a favor, give us a like down below. And then if you have extra topics that you want me to cover in the future, please put them down below so that I can see some of the stuff that you would like for me to talk about. And so how are you showing up for your significant other? What about your children? Are you restricting their growth? Are you trying to make your fucking children become who you want them to be? Do you mean parents do that? Oh, you should go. You have to go to school, this school, and you have to go. You have to go for this degree. And you try to force them into becoming what you want them to become, versus trying to help them grow and nurture them into what they are destined to be. Are you restricting their growth? If they're showing interest in something? Are you trying to get them to be interested? If your son wants to play the cello, are you trying to make him play football? Right? Are they showing an interest? Are you trying to help them deepen that interest? Are you trying to restrict that interest? Are you trying to change that interest into the interest that you want so that you can have them be what you want them to be? Are you trying to make your children become what you want them to be? Or are you trying to ask them questions what they like, what they're interested in, what they wanna become, and seeing how you can nurture and foster that for them to actually help them grow. You know, I remember a friend of mine's grandpa. I've told the story a couple times in the podcast, but he was a friend of mine. They were searching through the attic, I think. I don't remember what it was. They were searching through the attic and they found these beautiful paintings. My friend found these beautiful paintings. Him and his sister found it, right? They're like, man, these paintings are amazing. Where'd they come from? They take them down to their grandpa and they say, who painted these? And their Grandfather was like, I painted them when I was younger. And they're like, what, you painted these when you were younger? Like, these are amazing. I never even knew you like painting. And, you know, this guy's from old, old. And, you know, there's. I think there's probably like the 30s, 40s that this happened. He was. He was painting it, and his. His father was completely against it. And he was like. He was like, no, only sissies paint. You're not a sissy. You are a man. Men don't paint. And he never let him paint. And he just changed. His grandfather just completely changed himself. He never painted again. Never painted again. And then they found these paintings and they brought them down. They're like, grandpa, these are amazing. These are beautiful. Did you love painting? He's like, yeah, I love painting. It made me feel alive. So they went and got him painting supplies and they had him start painting again. And they said he started back up and it was like something came alive inside of him. And it's a perfect example. Like, that is a perfect example of a parent restricting something that makes their child feel alive. How many people out there do that? How many people listening have done that with their children? How are you fostering people's growth and helping them become what they wanna become? Instead of bending the flower to go the way that you want it to be, why don't you try to help the flower grow to what it's supposed to be? Yeah, like, I never want to do that to someone that I love. But how many of us are doing that in little, teeny, tiny ways with people that we love? These little teeny tiny restrictions? It's not always like, no, you can't do that. But it might be like saying this little, you know, this little negative comment here, this little negative joke here and all that stuff. And it's these little teeny, tiny restrictions. It's like death by a thousand cuts, right? Your job with those around you is to nurture them and to help them become what they can become. So that's the first thing, how you relate to other people. Now let's talk about you. How are the people around you and that you surround yourself with? Are they nurturing? Are they supportive when you pick up a new hobby? What do they say when you go for a big goal? How do they react when you succeed? How do they respond? Are they allowing you to bloom into who you're supposed to be? Or are they trying to change you into who they want you to be? If the flower doesn't grow you don't change the flower. What do you do? You change the environment. If you've been stuck for a while, maybe you should look around you and see what the environment looks like. Is your environment conducive for growth? The same way that if you have the sunflower and you have it inside of a pot, it's more conducive to be outside to get the sun, to get the water, to get the air than it is to take that sunflower seed and to put it inside, you know, inside of the pot and then take that pot and put it inside of the shed. You don't change the flower if it doesn't grow. You change the environment. If you've been stuck for a while, when was the last time you assessed the environment that you have the people that you surround yourself with? Maybe the problem with your growth or lack of growth isn't fully you. If, you know, I like for you to take as much responsibility in your life to not play the victim, all of that. But at some point you have to realize that a, there are different environments that are conducive for your growth and ones that will hold you back in your trying to grow. Can you grow through all environments? Of course you can. Is it easier to grow in some than others? Yeah, why don't we try to make it easy on ourselves? Maybe it is your environment, maybe it's your gardeners. So then you start to look at the people around you and you start to ask yourself, who is on your side 100%. Like when you say, hey, this is a goal that I want to shoot for. Who is your friend? That is like, fuck, yes, you can do it. How can I support you? Those are the people that you want to spend more time with. Who is on your side 100% and then who's not. You should start seeing if you have only a certain amount of energy you can invest into every single day. You should probably start changing the amount of energy that you're investing to this relationship and this relationship. If someone's restricting you or they're holding you back, maybe it's time to spend less time with them. Maybe it's time to let them go. One of the things that I see that really holds a lot of people back is long term relationships. Just because you've been friends with somebody for a really long time, shit, even if somebody is in your family and they've been in your family your entire life, it doesn't necessarily mean that those relationships, because a lot of relationships that I've heard of People that kind of stick around, they go toxic. And they've been toxic for years. And just because someone's been around for a while, they just keep them around. Sometimes it's the right time to let someone go. And you let them go so you can grow. And so then they can grow into whatever they're going to be as well. You can still love them from afar. You can still see them every once in a while. But if you're seeing them four times a week, can you see them once a month? Imagine if you have this person that's restricting you, trying to change you, negative, all that stuff, and you see them four times a week. Imagine how much better, how much better your environment, your internal environment and your external environment would be if you only saw them once a month. So how can you get more gardeners in your corner? People that love you, people that support you, people that want the best for you. I believe that we all have some sort of purpose in this world. Some of us are here to be amazing parents. Some of us are here to be healers. Some of us are here to be really great teachers. Some of us are here to be artists and create amazing art. Some of us are here to light the way and to lead the way and to be leaders. I want you to start to think about the people that are around you, what it is that you actually want in your life. And number two, the people that are around you and if they help you or hurt you and trying to get you there. Right now, I want you to think of two things. Number one, really start to think about this. How am I showing up? How are you showing up for the people that you love as a gardener? Right? Are you showing up for them? Are you supporting them? Are you trying to see how you can help them grow? Are you motivating them? Are you trying to hold them accountable when they say they have big goals? Trying to see how you can help, see if you can be there for them whenever they need someone, a shoulder to cry on. Are you that? Or are you just out here just frigging stomping on flowers because you're trying to change every person the way you want them to be. So that's the first thing I think of. And the second thing is what does your environment look like? Are you outside in the sun with the right amount of air, the right amount of sun, the right amount of, you know, water and all of that? Or are you in a shed trying to grow an amazing sunflower inside of a shed? So what does your environment look like and start to think about that and ask yourself, what do you need to change about your environment? And just like any seed, we're all filled with amazing amounts of potential. Our job is to try to live up to that potential here and to be there for other people and to allow them to grow into flower that they can be as well. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share our Instagram stories and tag me obdialjr. Also, once again, if you if you haven't heard, my book is now out. I put my life and soul into this book. You can get it on presale right now. Presale helps a lot in the book and helps us get onto the bestseller list. So if you go to robdial.com book you can go there and we've got some exciting stuff that you get for the presale as well. So go ahead and go to robdile.com book order it. Order one copy or two copies, whatever it is that you want. A free would greatly, greatly appreciate it. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.