What is Self Care Really?

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Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. Your host, Rob Dial, and if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you live in the United States or Canada and you want to receive motivational text messages from me, text me right now. 512-580-9305 once again, 512-580-9305. Today we're going to be talking about what is self care really? Because often I think that people, when I say, hey, what is self care? And we talk about the importance of self care, most people think, oh, self care is going and getting a massage or getting a manicure and a pedicure, because that's what we're sold as, that being self care. But today I'm going to talk to you about the deeper aspects of self care, what it is, what are the other aspects of it, but also more importantly, you know, why it is so important for you, but why it is also so important for the world that you take care of yourself before you take care of anybody else. So like I said, we think it's manicures, pedicures, getting your nails done, you know, massages all of that stuff. But really what it comes down to is self care is something that benefits the self. Now you know. Thanks, Captain Obvious. That's pretty obvious, but let's dive into it much, much deeper. First off, let's dive into why it's important for you. I want to sell you on the importance of all of these aspects of self care for yourself, but also how it's going to help the world. Because the first thing I'm going to say is this because I know a lot of people are going to have apprehension is self care, like a lot of self care is not selfish. And that's important because a lot of you guys have to realize you cannot pour from an empty cup. Like you literally cannot give what you don't have. And some of you are so kind and you're so amazing and you're so giving that you're taking care of everybody else around you and forgetting about yourself. And that can be fine for a little while, but after a while it gets so ridiculously emptying, like you have nothing more to give. And that's the importance of filling your cover first because you're literally giving away parts of you that you need to keep. And so it's important and it's beneficial for you, but also for the world. The more you take care of yourself, the better that you're going to show up. The better that your your self care routine is, the better that your morning routine is. The more that you take care of yourself, the better that you show up. When you leave the house and you go out into the world, the better you show up as a parent, the better that you show up as a person, better that you show up as a leader, the better you show up as an employee, as a business owner, all of those things. You show up better when you take better care of yourself. And so it's important for you to realize that it is not selfish. It is the most important thing that you can do because the, the care that you take care of yourself will benefit everybody else around you. A good example of this is parents. You know, if you're a parent, you have to understand that you have to take care of yourself first. All too often I get parents that message me and they talk about how, you know, they've lost themselves in parenting. They don't know what to do, they don't have any time for themselves, they're too busy with their kids. If I told you how many messages I get on a daily basis of people who are like Rob, I don't know what to do? I don't have any time. I spend all of my time with my kids and taking care of them and all of that. And I always talk about the benefits of being the person who takes care of yourself first. Even if your kids wake up early, can you go to bed earlier than you currently are and wake up earlier so that you can have some sort of practice in the morning and continuously throughout the day that feels like you're filling your cup? So for you, the question I have for you is, what is filling your cup? Like, what does that mean for you? Because it's different for everybody. Like, for you, it might be meditating, but there might be some people who are listening that, that don't like meditating. Hopefully they're not resisting it because it is very good for them. But maybe they're just. They're just. It's not their thing. Maybe reading is their thing. And so for you, what is it that makes you feel like you're investing time and money and energy into yourself to make yourself better? You know, it could be, like I said, meditating. Taking time to meditate for 15 minutes before you go out into the real world. For me, like, if I don't meditate for at least 20 minutes every single morning, I feel like I'm all over the place the rest of the day. So it could be meditating for you. It could be journaling, sitting down with pen and paper and just writing down what's going on in your head, how yesterday was, you know, what your plans are to make sure that you make your dreams come true today. That could be journaling for you. Could be sitting down and saying, hey, what do I want to improve in in my life? It could be sitting down and saying, hey, these are my goals for today. These are my goals for the week. These are my goals for the month so that I have something to work towards. So it could be journaling for you. It could be working out, maybe working out. Or yoga is something that you have to do every single morning or at least some form of body movement to feel like you're filling your cup before, if you have kids, before your kids wake up. Or maybe it's taking 20 minutes and just reading, putting your phone into a different room, making sure your kids are still asleep, your spouse is still asleep. And maybe it's just enjoying a cup of coffee while reading for 20 minutes. Right? It could be, I don't know, a really nice long shower and listening to your favorite music and your favorite playlist as you're doing it. It could be a really good, nutritious breakfast for you. It could be, you know, spending the morning with your spouse before the kids wake up or before you go into work, before you do anything different or even. It could just literally be silence and a cup of coffee, like just sitting on your back porch and just looking out at, you know, the sunrise as the sun's coming up, or looking out at whatever it is that's in your backyard or looking out of your condo window and seeing the sun as it comes up over all the buildings for you. What you have to really understand, you have to figure out, is what makes you feel like you're filling up your cup. That's the first thing, because it's different for every single person. And I want you to figure out, you know, say it out loud right now, write it down if you have pen and paper, and let's figure out what is it for you that makes it feel like you're filling up your cup, okay? And I don't know about you, but for me, if I don't get to my morning routine, I feel off the entire day, which is like me filling up my cup first thing in the morning. I don't feel the same. I feel a little bit off. I'm a little bit less happy throughout the day. I'm a little more easily agitated if I don't get into my morning routine. So, like, what would you know? And we'll talk about the rest of the day, but what would the morning feel like and look like for you if you were to develop a filling of your cup?

Practice.

It doesn't have to be a million things. It could be one thing, it could be two things. Whatever it is, what does that look like for you? And you know, the, the thing about it is, you know, when I talk about being a little less happy and a little bit more agitated when I don't get my morning routine in, AKA my self care, I realize that I don't show up better for the. I don't show up my best version of myself for the world. Which means, you know, if you get time for yourself, you become a better mother, you become a better father, you become a better employee, a better business owner, a better leader, a better son, a better boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever it is that you are, you become better at it when you take time for yourself because you fill up yourself and then you can do it, which means ultimately filling up your cup makes you a better human. So how can we make sure that you listen to my voice, that you understand the importance of taking care of yourself and that you literally take time every single day to make sure that you work on yourself first thing in the morning.

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have to be just in the morning. It could be all throughout the entire day. So some of you guys, you know, maybe you, maybe you like sleeping in, maybe the kids always wake you up and, you know, you drop the kids off at school. All right, cool. Well, can you develop some sort of a practice every single day? This isn't something that you like do just when you have time or when you remember, but this is actually something that you schedule into your schedule for time with yourself. Even if it's just like, hey, you know what, on my lunch break, I'm gonna go to my car, I'm gonna meditate for 15 minutes and then I'm gonna go about my day. Like, what would it look like for you to develop some sort of routine that starts in the morning but then also carries out throughout the rest of the day to make sure that you're constantly taking care of yourself? So what does that look like and what else does, what else does self care look like besides just, you know, meditating and all that stuff? Well, we have like what you read that's a form of self care. If you're trying to learn and grow in a certain aspect, maybe you're trying to get better at your spirituality and you know, your religion and you're going to start reading more spirituality and more religious books in the morning. Or maybe you're trying to get better with self development so you start getting more self development books, right? So what you read is a form of self care. What else is a form of self care? Going to conferences that excite you. You know, one of the things that I always say is no matter what age you are, no matter, you know, how seasoned or how green you are at whatever your job is or whatever it is that you do, you should constantly be going to conferences throughout the, that excites you. And it might be something that has nothing to do with your industry. Like you might be in finance and you might decide that you want to go to, you know, Internet marketing conference or you might be in, I don't know, hr and you might decide you want to go to an NFT and cryptocurrency conference so that you constantly feel like you're learning and growing as a person. So what I'd say is try to find a couple of conferences throughout the year that interest you. Might be, you know, animal rights conferences. I don't know what it is. There's something for you that makes you feel like you're coming alive. You have to decide what that is and figure out what it is. Also, what it, what does it look like? It looks like self development, looks like reading. It looks like maybe hiring a coach or, you know, getting an accountability partner, someone that's working with you. It could be literally a day where you do absolutely nothing. So like this past week, I'll be honest with you, we had an event, all day event, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And I was good all through those four days. On day five, you know, Monday, when the event was over, I was just exhausted. Monday of this week, it was like every ounce of energy went into Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And for me it was like, okay, well I, I could force myself to do something today. On Monday, I could force myself to and I could get some stuff done. But I knew that if I just took the day off and the only thing I had was one meeting that I had to go to. I went to that one meeting and I took the rest of the day off, which means Tuesday, the very next day, I have way more energy to invest into the people that I coach through zoom calls and the multiple things I have to do throughout my business. And really what it comes down to sometimes is like self care can be literally just listening to your body and be like, you know what? Today's a day off. Like, I've been working really hard and I need a day off. If you would have told me that, you know, seven years ago, I would have been like, you're crazy. Because I was so, so hardcore and working all the time. I'd be like, there's no way that I'm going to take a day off. But you have to realize sometimes when you take a day off, it's like pulling back a bow and arrow. You have to pull it back in order to let go. And when you pull it back, the further you pull it back, the farther it launches. So sometimes you have to take that little bit of a pullback in order for you to be able to launch yourself further. And so that might be completely taking a day off. You know, it might be sometimes being selfish. It might be saying no to some of the plans that you have or some of the friends that invite you out and just say, hey, listen. Like, no. You know, maybe it comes down to two weeks ago you, you had said yes to some plans, and now tomorrow you've got something coming up and you're just not feeling very good, you've been sick. Well, maybe text the person, let them know, like just realize sometimes. I mean, don't cancel on your friends all the time. We all have friends like that and everyone hates it. But sometimes it requires you to be selfish because you do need to take care of yourself at some point. It might be, you know, taking a solo weekend trip so that you can rent an Airbnb that's somewhere off in the middle of nowhere and you can just go with you and your dog and a book. It might be something like that. Like these are all self care things. It might be making sure that you go to the, go to the grocery store, get rid of all of the shit that's inside of your pantry that doesn't serve you, that doesn't, you know, help you create the body that you want, get rid of all of it, and then go to the grocery store and just get everything that you need that's healthy and maybe start juicing more, maybe do a fast once a week, maybe start doing intermittent fasting. All of these things are self care. Self care is not just manicures and pedicures. All of these things are self care. Might be making sure that you have scheduled in your schedule every single freaking day that you want to, that you have to get a workout done, that you have to go get your yoga done, you have to go to your spin class, whatever it is that you need to do. That is a form of self care. Another form of self care is like cleaning up your physical environment, like completely cleaning up everything else around you. Maybe getting rid of all of these old things that don't serve you anymore. Maybe you have clothes inside of your closet that you've had for 12 years and you haven't worn it in 11 years. Like just get rid of that shit. Like just clean house spring cleaning. How can you start getting rid of things and letting go of things? That is a form of self care as well, is like freeing up physical and mental space for you to be able to create something new. Right. It could also be the people around you, right? To be completely honest with you, self care sometimes is realizing that there's some people that, that are just amazing in your life and you want to be spending more time with them. The more time you can spend with them, the better, the better that you will become. And you've identified those people. But self care can also be realizing that there's some people that you've been spending too much time with that maybe you spend less time with because they're not necessarily going down the same road that you are. Maybe you've been friends for 20 years and you feel bad to kind of spend less time with them and you feel obligated, but maybe you have, you know, they're not on the same path. Maybe they drink a little bit too much. Maybe if they don't care, take care of themselves and that you guys are on different paths. Just because somebody was a part of your past doesn't mean that they need to be a part of your future in the same capacity that they were in your past. And so sometimes you have to realize like self care is letting go of some people who have been in your life that might not really be part of the future that you want to create. And it's about identifying those people, figuring out who they are, spending less time with them, you have to never see them again, but spending less time with them and then identifying the people who are going to be able to push you, to drive you, to help you be better so that you can then create the life that you want to. Don't feel obligated to be around anybody simply because of the fact that you had some form of a past with them. And so that's really what self care comes down to. And the idea that you cannot pour from an empty cup. So if you're constantly trying to give, give, give, give, give, listen, you are kind, you are giving, you are amazing. But you got to stop that shit at some point because you're going to completely run out when you don't have anything to pour from. That's when you get to burnout. And so you have to make sure that you have a self care routine, something that makes you feel alive, something that makes you feel amazing, something that lights you up from the inside. So therefore, when you get done with that, you can go into the real world and you impact other people's lives at a massive level. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please do me a favor. Share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it. Rob Dial R O B D I A L J R. That's also where I put obviously all of my Instagram posts for videos and quotes and all the things that I share. We have over 375 people, 375,000 people that follow me on there. So if you want extra inspiration, motivation, you can always follow me. Once again, it's Robdile Jr. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

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