Emotional outbursts are learned habits from childhood, not innate traits. When a parent's oxytocin drops after bonding, the child learns crying gets attention back. You can rewire these patterns by catching the trigger and replacing it with a chosen action, like playing a song, until your brain builds a new default.
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You are not an emotional person. You have identified yourself with a pattern of thinking. Now, let me explain exactly what I'm talking about. A lot of people watch this video and say, I'm an emotional person. He doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. But let me explain this to you. And this goes back to when you're actually a child. And so when you're born, your mother has a flood of chemicals that runs through her brain. A one of them is called oxytocin. Oxytocin is known as the cuddle chemical. And what happens is this is why it's so much easier for a man to leave a child than for a woman to leave a child, is because when a woman gives birth, there's actually this thing called oxytocin that runs through her brain. It is what makes the woman chemically fall in love with the child before ever even seeing it. So what happens is, as you're growing up as a child, as you're 012 years old, your mom has this oxytocin more than normal running through her brain. So you can mess up a lot as a kid. You can pee on the floor, you can knock stuff over, you can break stuff, and your parents will go and clean it up, no questions asked. But then eventually what happens is this oxytocin starts to run out of the brain and go back to normal levels and you knock something over on accident, as a little kid does, and your mom snaps for a second, and it might not be a big snap, but it's enough to shock you as a little kid. What happens is your immediate reaction is, oh, my mom is pulling her love away from me. And you start to cry. Because that's the only thing that a child cares about is if their parents, if they have their parents love. And if your parent yells at you, your immediate reaction is, oh my gosh, I'm not going to have my parents love. And what probably happened if you're a quote unquote emotional person, is that you started to cry and your mom snapped out of it. She said, oh my gosh, what am I doing? She went to go pick you up, she picked you up and cuddled you. And you realize in that one second, Maybe you were 12 years old, maybe 3 years old, that if I cry, I get my mother's love. AKA if I cry, I get what I want. We all have seen children who cry when they don't need to cry. They fake cry because it is a learned pattern. It's a learned habit they know I cry, I get what I want. I cry, I get what I want. Now, some people grow out of this pattern or habit. Some people never realize that it's not natural, and they never grow out of it. So if you see yourself as an emotional person, there's a pretty good chance that this is actually a connection that you have from your childhood. Now, a pattern or habit is not hardwired into your brain. It can be reversed. You were able to program it into your brain from a child. You're able to reprogram it to something else. So what you do is this. Next time you notice emotions start to come out, right? You identify the pattern or habits you want to break, that might be emotions or being emotional. And what you do is you make a new default that you go to. So next time you feel, you know what sets you off, it's somebody yelling at you or somebody cutting you off, it's somebody doing something or your life not living up to your expectations. And that's when the emotions start to come. What you do, you notice, you become self aware, very self aware. This is what sets me off. And when it starts to go down that path, you have to immediately become self aware, click yourself out of it, and go to that default, whatever that default is. Maybe if you, if somebody yells at you or you, let's say this, let's say somebody puts too much in your plate at work, and you start to shut off, you start to become emotional and start to freak out a little bit. You know that that is your pattern or habit. What do you do? You, you have an automatic default that you go to. That automatic default could be listening to your favorite song, right? So as soon as you get all of that stuff put on your plate, you feel all of those emotions start to rush through you. You put in your headphones, and you listen to your favorite song and make yourself break out of that pattern or habit. Because a pattern or habit can always be reversed, but you have to catch it in the moment before your brain starts going down that route that it continues to go down every single time. The only way to break a pattern or habit is to break it in the middle of that actual neurotransmitter firing from one place to another. So figure out what the pattern is you're trying to break, and then figure out what your default pattern will be that you're trying to place it with. So what happens is your brain will actually start to reverse itself after hundreds and hundreds or thousands of times of this happening. If you start putting on that favorite song, that default. That default puts you into a good state. You could see somebody put a ton of work on your plate and it will actually not affect you, might even make you happier. Because what you've done is you've reversed the emotions from being anxious or sad or pissed off or whatever it might be to happiness instead. So you can always reverse your patterns or habits, but you have to become very self aware and you always have to have the default pattern or habit as well.
