This content was created by Robert Siciliano. This content was uploaded by Robert Siciliano. This is a YouTube segment from the Tyra Banks Show titled 'Spying on Teens Surveillance in Cars, Phones, Monitoring Software www.IDTheftSecurity.com' (created Feb 4, 2009). It’s a televised talk-show excerpt in which host Tyra Banks moderates a discussion between a mother (Janine), her 15-year-old daughter (Lily), and personal security expert Robert Siciliano. The segment covers parental surveillance of teens—PC monitoring software (Pair), a driving performance chip, GPS-enabled cell phones and location tracking—while exploring the mother’s fears, the daughter’s objections, and expert recommendations for monitoring and safety.
Chapters
Now on Tyra. Are they mothers or wardens? When she's home from the day, I do a body search.
She makes me feel like a criminal.
If I have to say strip, you will. That sounds like the jail to me. And rigging their daughters' cell phones to track their every move. Did you know that you were being tracked?
She still doesn't trust me.
Extreme mothering. Have your daughters given you a reason not to trust them? Do I have to have a reason? Now on Tyra. With us now is Janine, and unlike Tanisha, she says that she has a good reason to spy on her 15-year-old daughter and is desperate to find better techniques to spy even better than she is already. Okay, you started snooping because why?
Well, one night I was in bed and my daughter came in and I looked at her face and I went, oh my God, you've had sex. And she's like—
But you just looked at her face and you noticed?
I just looked at her face and knew it.
What was her face?
Mama knows.
It's not like she just came in the house like, nope.
I wish she had done that. She just walked in my room.
And you knew.
I knew. And I was so upset because I did not have sex until I was 18. And so we had had a deal that she was supposed to wait until she was 18. And she didn't.
And how old was she?
15.
15. Just turned 15. Okay, so she broke that agreement. I understand that she does some— a couple of things. She's kind of acting out. What is she doing now?
Well, the other night she snuck out. I waited for her. She came back. She'd snuck out to be with some, you know, friends and stuff. Okay.
Or a boy, do you think?
I think a boy. Okay.
Do you feel helpless when that happens? Like terrified, helpless?
I feel so scared. I'm scared. It's just me. She's my only child. She's my everything. When she's on the computer, if she's talking to someone and she doesn't want me to know, she like closes it. I feel like I'm just out of control with her. And she doesn't do very well in school, so she's very much different than these girls. And I really, really love her very much.
Well, you came to us because you want help, right?
I am desperate.
Well, here's what happened. Check it out. Robert Siciliano, personal security expert, met with Janine in New York City to share some high-tech spy secrets.
Hi.
Hello, Janine.
I'm Robert. Hi, Robert. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Robert showed Janine 3 ways to check up on her daughter and keep her safe.
Janine, there is some new technology out there that allows you to keep track of your daughter so that you can keep her safe.
Ah!
Pair is a software program that you install on your computer that allows you to view the websites she's visited, emails sent and received, chats logged. Just about everything she does on the computer, you can see it with this software.
So wonderful.
Janine, the second thing I want to show you is a driving performance chip. This records every second of every mile that she drives. If she's driving too fast, if there are any jackrabbit starts, if she is speeding, this tells you everything she's done while she's driving.
Oh, that is such a good idea because her— she's starting to drive, her friends are starting to drive, and to be honest, I am so scared every time she gets into a car.
The last thing I wanna show you is this cell phone. Now, I understand that Lily occasionally sneaks out of the house. She's not where she says she is, and, uh, well, this isn't an ordinary cell phone. This has a GPS chip in it. It's real simple, actually. You give your kid the cell phone, and it works like any cell phone, and then all you do is you log in to this website, and it shows the exact location of where they've been for the past month, what buildings they've been in, what homes they've been in, what streets they've driven down, and from here, you can— track your child's whereabouts. We live in a very different world today, and all of this technology is designed so that you can keep tabs on your daughter so that you can keep her safe.
That's a really good idea because I really, really, really worry about Lily.
Is it ever okay to spy on your children? Well, Jeanine says yes because she has really great fears because her daughter Lily has gone to the extremes of even sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night. And this pain has brought you to tears. Before we took a break, you were crying about this.
Yes.
Yeah.
Well, Lily's here. She's about to come out, but she hasn't heard anything that's been going on today on the Tyra Show. Come on out, Lily. Hello, Lily.
Hi.
Hi.
So your mom, uh, kind of snoops around in your life, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. How does that make you feel with her kind of going through your stuff?
And I think it's wrong, and I think what she's doing is not right, and she shouldn't be doing that to a teenager. I mean, I'm 15. I should be able to live my life. And I mean, she can be there for me, but she just needs to, you know, needs to back off.
What's the one thing that makes you the most upset that your mom does in terms of the snooping?
She reads my texts. I remember like one time she was looking through my texts and I was flirting with a guy. I mean, me and him like liked each other and she flipped out.
Remember that day?
Oh yeah, because it was more than flirting.
Oh, was it X-rated stuff?
Yes, it was.
No, it was not X-rated.
Well, can you say it on the Tyra show? Or does it have to be on HBO? To be repeated. Now your mom said that you snuck out of the house before. Tell me about that.
I sneak out because I feel like I have to.
Oh, you sneak out, so it wasn't just once. Oh, okay. You guys, don't talk back to the TV. Look at them, you're 15. So you snuck out, you sneak out.
Yeah.
And where do you go when you sneak out?
I go out to see someone.
Okay. And how old is this someone?
He's 18. I'm almost 16.
Oh wow, okay, almost 16. When you arrived in New York City—
Yes.
To come to the Tyra show, you were always with your mom?
No.
No?
Did you ever leave when you weren't supposed to?
Yes, but she caught me on the streets. I just wanted to go see New York because, you know, New York is like Amazing place. It has all those lights and stuff.
You just wanted to see the lights? Can you bring your mama to see the lights with you?
No, she didn't want to. She's a— she's always tired. She's not fun anymore.
Yeah, uh, she never asked me to go see the lights.
I think Mama would want to come see the lights in New York City. Janine had no idea that one of Robert Siciliano's tips would come in handy that very same night.
So, um, we went to bed, and not to my surprise, Lily snuck out. Great, she's probably going— trying to go to the bar, picking up boys. Typical Lily.
Um, Robert Siciliano is with us here in studio. He's the author of The Safety Minute. So you feel that she was a prime candidate because of what her daughter's doing, right?
Well, Jeanine is every parent that is concerned about their child's personal security. You know, today, uh, most people don't realize that there are half a million registered sex offenders out there, and they're looking for their next victim.
Mm-hmm.
These tools are there to help the parent protect their child. Protect their child.
Um, how do you guys feel about, um, snooping? We want to know if you think it's okay for a parent to spy on their kid, for a woman to spy on her man, for co-workers to snoop on each other. Go to tyreshow.com and tell me how you feel. And while you're there, you can take our Should You Snoop quiz, and we'll see you later.
