When Did We Stop Trusting Each Other?

Why we are so afraid of each other nowadays. I've been really, really noticing this over the last couple of years, how, how things are different now as opposed to how they used to be back when I was growing up, back in the '70s and the '80s. Now I realize that it's normal for things to change in our society, to change and hopefully get, get better. But back in those days, I really felt a stronger sense of community and connection and how people really put themselves out there and actually went out into the community and really, really participated. And I think that a lot of this gets back to the growth of the popularity of technology and online connection. A lot of people have replaced their human one-to-one connections with the human-like connections that they get through, let's say, their mobile phone or their devices. And it's not quite the same thing. And I do think that, you know, kids when I was growing up actually felt safe to go out and do things outside of the house. But now I think lots of kids stay inside the house and play video games, or they're on their computers or on their iPads and not really getting out as much and thus not hanging out with their friends as much. Though I do live in a community myself that has been able to hold on to some of these values, you know, children in my neighborhood do ride their bikes and play out on their front yards of their houses and But, you know, I'm out here in a, in a park, right, that has park benches and has public facilities where people can get out and actually get out in nature and really spend human-to-human time together. And I just don't see people doing it. I just don't see people really getting out of the house much. I find it even with myself, and I do have to wonder if part of the issue is after the pandemic we got used to kind of pulling back and being, being a little bit more self-focused because maybe we felt fearful of the world, how that there were dangers out there. People could give me a disease or they could give me a virus. So I think there was a period of time I recall back during, during the pandemic where people, when they saw each other, they actually turned around and went in the opposite direction. So things were quite different back then. And people were fearful of what someone else could give them or share them. And they felt threatened by that. And our culture and our society and our institutions and, and everybody played right into that fear. And people have, I think, not ever gone back. To, to what it was before. And I think to some degree that was going on prior to the pandemic. I guess it's been, what, 4 years now? I think it's relaxed a little bit, but I do think that there's still a lot of people out there that will— I see driving down the roads that are wearing masks in their cars while they're driving around, or I still see people wearing these surgical masks even, even today. And I think it really gets back to there was this instilled fear and then to layer it on top of it with, with the children too. They, you know, I think children are increasingly feeling fearful because parents are fearful of what the world, what the risks of the world might be. And that they have to protect their children and always be looking out for them all the time because there's a bad person right around the corner. And to some degree, that's been a verified experience for many people, and it's been talked about in the media, and people are, are seeing it as something that is a real thing. You know, I, I just think that people are staying home a lot more now because frankly, there's a lot more things to do at home now. You can shop on Amazon, you can buy things online. You don't have to go out to the mall. You don't have to go out to the, like a place to watch a movie or anything like that. You can get a big screen television in your house. And watch all the movies that you might want to watch and watch YouTube and watch all of these things. So, and then people aren't going out to coffee shops, people aren't meeting people in real life very often. Granted, many corporations have pushed for bringing people back into the office again. So increasingly there are companies that are pressuring their employees to come back to the office. Now, I spent many years myself. I mean, I've been around long enough. I spent many years working in the office at Microsoft or working in the office at a bunch of companies that I used to work for. But it's been many years now since I've worked in the office of any company that I've been working with or for, because quite frankly, You can do pretty much everything that you need to do on a, on a remote basis. And I think that is something that our society and our culture is wrestling with right now. And I think all of us wrestle with this. It's maybe I live in a remote area and it's a long ways to commute into some office somewhere. So You know, it's an inconvenience factor too. It's a cost factor. It's a time sink out of your life. But I can see the benefits of working in the office in a corporation. And I do think that there is value in that. But I have worked from home for many years and can see both sides of the topic. And I see advantages and disadvantages to working in the office or working from home. I think that there, there is a lot of time savings to be had in working from home. But I also think that getting in front of people and speaking to someone in person and being there together in a meeting in real life as needed has a lot of value too. You know, I think we are in this inflection point in our society, and I do wonder if technology is going to keep pushing the envelope on this. And, and we will eventually find a balance here. I don't know that we'll ever go back to everybody being in the office or whatever. But also, that's also pulling away from people working in physical retail locations too. Is it fair that many people in our society— and Elon Musk has raised this ethical concern too— is that there's so many people that do have to work in the office or do have to go in and work with other people and in the real world. That it's probably not fair to them that there's this other class of people that can just stay at home. And I do think employers have some valid concerns around people actually doing their jobs with their home-based. I do think that there's some concerns around that, and I think that there is value in getting out of the house like I'm doing here. Trying to do this, this video is out in the real world. There's no one around me except for birds. And I'm in this big open field of grass and it's beautiful. It's kind of hot today, but that's part of being in the real world is that you have to get in there and feel the elements of life. I'm a father and a grandparent as well. I had two children and they are both grown up and each one of them has their own children now. And so they're going through these same challenges too. A lot of them are— both of them are doing work that involves working with people in the real world and helping people to become better at that. And so I think that the younger generation is kind of seeing this opportunity. That the internet has in this sphere in our culture has removed from many of our lives. And I'm not sure how to get over this. I, you know, I try and be practical about it and think, how should a person think about this? I think it is trying to strike a balance. I think at this point I feel like I have to continue to work with technology. I have to continue to work in the online realm. But yet I also feel this tug towards working with others in person and doing, at least doing calls with people using technology that creates that human interaction, even if it's on a screen. And I think it's important that we really push aside this fear that many people are having right now about being around others and to really push forward to it and be open to it and put yourself out there and to take those risks. If we live our lives in fear, I think that there's a risk that we shrink in our internal efforts and in how we think of ourselves. Our self-confidence, our ability to have interpersonal skills starts to weaken. And this is very, very important. You know, even small things like giving people a smile, Making a positive comment to others, being friendly, sparking up just casual, friendly conversations. Though some people don't like those casual, you know, meaningless conversations. People feel like it needs to have more meaning. And I get that. I understand. So that's how you need to think about it, is that what you're doing needs to be something that's a positive experience for the other person, but also a positive experience for you too. That's the kind of person that I want to be. So my advice is to just start small if you're not already doing this. I still think that there's a percentage of the population that has just said, I'm absolutely not going to surcome to this fear in our culture now and pull back from everything in the real world. I still think that there's a lot of people that are doing that today. But I do think that if you're not and you're, you're kind of living in a cocoon that's been created by remote work or your fear of going out, especially people that live in big cities, I think that there's an increasing risk in big cities now. If you live out more in a rural area, one that's more natural, smaller population, like where I am here, I'm not sure that there's as much risk. So having that fear is rather unfounded because all of us need to take risks and there's, there's risks in putting yourself out there. No question about it. Go out to a coffee shop, have a meeting, go out to dinner now and then if you can afford it. Try and go out to a movie with your spouse or your girlfriend or a group of friends. Participate in the real world. Maybe even go out to a mall and just hang out for a while. Go for a walk at a mall. I mean, I think increasingly the malls are kind of going out of business. So it's, it's an interesting time. So that's my thought on this, is that we can't succumb to this rapid spread of fear that is being fomented by whoever is fomenting it. It comes from all sorts of sources, from the media, from organizations that are maybe having some level of wanting to, I don't know, control us somehow. I— it's hard to really put your finger on it, but I think the key thing is all of us need to be kind to each other. I think we've been driven to division to a degree I have never seen before, and it's ideological division. It's all based on superficial characteristics. It's all based on emotions. And this is being used against us. We need to come together as human beings and make a better world. And that's my challenge to you. And it's a challenge that I'm, I'm facing too. And I want to do better. And I also believe that that's why these type of videos on YouTube are starting to resonate, because people are looking for authentic ideas, ones that are sharing positive as well as kind of reflective observations about the world, about maybe how we have changed in a way that we don't recognize yet. And that it's important for people that are noticing this to raise the alarm. So I appreciate you listening to me today. I know I rambled a little bit and I appreciate you listening to me. I know I've done a few of these walk talks where I've been a little tense myself. Hopefully this one was better out here in the summer. In a very green area in Connecticut on an 85-degree day. So it's really, really warm. Like I said, thank you so much for watching me here, and I appreciate it very much. So thank you, and I appreciate it.