Ryan NisbetOperations, Delphi · Operations at Delphi

What do you wish you knew before your first child?

21 Sept 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

0:36

In this brief YouTube segment, three speakers share the most valuable lessons they wish they had known before becoming parents. Speaker A emphasizes that motherhood and personal ambition are not mutually exclusive, warning that the guilt of splitting one’s identity into separate “work” and “mom” selves can drain energy. Speaker B highlights the importance of resolving one’s own childhood issues, noting that unresolved personal history will surface in parenting and that self‑work provides the essential foundation for raising children. Speaker C offers a practical career tip: prospective parents should inquire about a company’s parental leave and support policies before accepting a job, as the employer’s response reveals how supportive they truly are.

Before I had my first kid, I wish someone had told me this: being a good mom and being ambitious aren't opposing forces. The guilt came from splitting myself into work Zoe and mom Zoe, and that cost me more energy than the ambition ever did.
I wish I knew that what hasn't been dealt with in your own childhood will show up in how you parent. The work you do on yourself first is the only real foundation you have to build from.
The one thing I always tell new parents: Ask for the policies before you accept the job. You find out not just what they offer, you find out how they respond, and that tells you everything about whether they'll actually support you.