228: Getting More Comfortable Getting More Visible

Hey movers, it's Sally Z with Be Moved. Let's go create some talks that will move this world. We're going to talk with amazing speakers, share tips, tricks, resources, and we are going to be moved so that our audience can be moved. This moved me. What is moving You. Here we are, it is Movers Live time, you guys. I've amped up the technology a little bit. This is exciting, this is very exciting because I've been recording some of these and sharing them on my podcast, This Moved Me, and what we realized was the sound quality was not good. So, um, For those of you who are here with me on Crowdcast, my hope is it sounds great and that you can hear me. So if you are here and you're here live, let me know if you can hear me. Okay, and Instagram, you're like getting the behind-the-scenes look into me recording a live stream on Crowdcast, which is kind of fun. And hello Facebook. So I'm I, I think I got this to work to 3 different places right now. We'll see, we'll see. But welcome everybody, I'm so excited to have you here and really excited to do a little, a mini workshop to talk more about how we can get more comfortable getting visible because there's some hurdles that keep us from really showing up. And right now, in particular, our voices are needed. It's a time of leaders stepping up or not. And so a lot of the people that I'm supporting and seeing feel this drive to get out front. But there's a lot that kind of hold us back. And it really echoes the conversation that I had with my friend Tiffany this week on the show about really owning the title speaker. And there's a lot of echoes in all of this, so we're going to get into that. I've got some great tips to give you and some ideas to wrap your head around that will help you break through some things that might be holding you back from really showing up and getting more visible. But before we do that, we're going to do a This Moved Me moment. We're going to ground ourselves in that place because as leaders We need to be moved ourselves if we want to move our audience. So what is something that has moved you lately? Hop in, put it in the comments. Even if you're watching this on replay, I would love to see from you what is moving you and how you are staying connected with the movement of the world. There's a lot happening. There's amazing stuff out there. My This Moved Me moment is this adorable, hilarious video from this tiny little Irish girl. She's like 6 years old. And she is petitioning her mother to take her to the pub. And the line that she says, and she's so sassy, just is like really, really funny. She says, "I'm 6 and me ol' mother won't let me go to the pub." Which is a horrible accent, you guys. I'm sorry. That's not a great accent. But I I'm 6 and me own mother wouldn't let me go to the pub. That's right, honey, you're 6, you can't go to the pub. Even if you're Irish, you cannot go to the pub when you're 6. It was so funny. And, uh, my— we're gonna talk a little bit about Tiffany because she was on the show this week. And Tiffany is somebody who has been working really hard to get visible. She's been doing, um, Instagram Lives every day, really, probably for about a month or so. And the, the tip that she shared the other day was how important laughter is to— for, for us right now, especially in this time where, oh my gosh, there's a lot that is not funny. And there's a lot of deep, big stuff happening in the world. And so laughter is this really cathartic thing. Um, so a little shout out to my friend Elise, who every day has been getting out front and sharing a daily dumb joke with her two kids. And it's really delightful and they are super dumb, but they are funny. So check, find Elise Robinson and check out the daily dumb jokes with Elise. She's like, she's my former theater professor and she's delightful. And find the little Irish girl. It's on my Facebook page if you want to find it. Okay, cool. So who do we have? We've got some people here live with us, Susan and Patrick and Chris and Carol. We've got some folks on Facebook and Instagram, and we've got a lot of people registered, so hopefully some more people will come. But pop into the comments, say hello, say where you are coming from. I always love to know because it like blows my mind when there are people here from all over the world. Super fun. So, um, I'm so happy to have you here. And I know many people— I got about 7 emails this morning saying, I can't be, I can't be there right at noon, but I'll watch. So, uh, if you are watching this on replay, awesome, that's great too. Whether you are here live or not, what I want to share with you are 3 important ideas that will help you push through whatever might be holding you back so that you can get a little more comfortable getting visible. Because that is the name of the game right now. As we are building our messages and building our talks and, and, and getting clear on what it is that we want to say, we do that by getting visible. So if the end goal is someday I'm gonna, I'm gonna give this TEDx talk, or I'm, I'm I'm gonna do that keynote, um, that at that conference that I've really wanted to do. I'm gonna do more workshops. Those are live in person, beautiful things that we will do again someday. But for right now, it's really about showing up with our audience virtually, and it's easier than ever and also, uh, kind of brings up all kinds of stuff. So If you are in Crowdcast with me, there's a poll. I'd love for you to take the poll, uh, and I want to know what is holding you back from getting more visible. So if you're here on Facebook or Instagram, let me know in the comments what is holding you back from being more visible with your audience. And there's lots of good reasons why we are hesitant about that, but here's what I want to share with you. Some 3, 3 ideas that might help. Number 1, in order to help us be a little more visible, we've got to be clear about our why. So I have been more visible in the last 3 weeks, and I— that's never been something I've had a problem with. I— well, there was a time when I was like, I don't do video, uh, because, oh my gosh, video is um, all of a sudden it feels very vain, right? It's about how we look instead of this connection that we create. And it took me a long time to shift my thinking around that and to feel like video was something that I could do. And Patrick just said imposter syndrome, like, amen, brother. That, uh, that's what I was talking with Tiffany about on the show this week, that even incredibly skilled, uh, expert, authoritative leaders are like, who am I to step out front? So it is a very, uh, human— it's questionable. It's, it's a very human thing to wonder if we can do that. And what I will tell you is the difference between people who can do it and the people who don't is the people who can just decided that they would, and they worked through the process to get there. And one of the things that helps push us out there is really knowing why it matters and what our audience needs. So, um, part of the reason in the last few weeks is I've really upped my visibility is I feel really driven by my purpose. And when the purpose drives you, it takes the focus off of you yourself. Like, it takes the focus off of feeling self-conscious, and it gets it really focused on your audience. And that is a powerful why. Um, so a key question besides really thinking about your why is, what do your people need right now? What does your audience need? What is their biggest pain point? And for me, I was hearing from my leaders and my speakers saying, uh, just things are getting postponed, and we had all these things planned to serve and love up our audience, and now we've got to do it differently, and I don't know how. Like, I, I didn't want to do this by a video, but now I've got to do it by video. And so Um, knowing your audience's pain point and really getting in touch from an empathetic point of view, like, oh man, they are struggling, they just need some tips, they need some encouragement to get out front. Well, that drives my purpose and it helps me step up and get visible. And so if you can answer that question for yourself, what is your why and how can that ease your audience's biggest pain point, to empathize in a huge way with what they're struggling with, that can help pull you out front. Okay. So that is the first tip for you today. Get really clear about what your why is and how it can help your people. Okay. So be clear. Number one. Number two is to be authentic. And let me get specific about that because that's a big idea and a lot of people talk about it and I am all about Authenticity, like, that is a core value of mine, and it's really hard to wrap our heads around. So what I mean by that is I want you to get really clear for yourself on what your particular expertise is. You in particular, okay? Because the way I show up is going to be different than the way you show up, than the way you show up, and you show up, and you show up. Yep, I know Simon Sinek is always— he keeps cropping up. Starting with your why, for sure. And your particular expertise, when you, when you know that, it kind of helps ease the sense of, I have to be an expert. Like, who am I to step out front? When really what we're saying is, I know this. I know this particular thing. I don't know about that, and I don't know about that, and I don't know about that, but I do know this. And when we can kind of stand in that truth and, and not overblow what it is that we— because, because I think when we look at speakers up front, we think, oh, they know everything. Oh, they're a speaker. Oh, they're out front. Oh, they've got this many followers. Oh, this. Then we, we put these people on a pedestal. And the truth is those people got really clear about their particular contribution. And there is some important work that we have to do to know that, but it is such a freeing feeling when you realize, like, I don't have to know everything, but I do know this. And I actually think it builds some really important audience trust when you can say, I don't do this, but I do do this. And that kind of clarity can help us get out front. Okay, because we're not saying that we're something that we're not. We're really living in our authentic truth and our authentic experience and from our own life stories and life experience. And that can kind of ease the nerves and help us do this important work. Okay, so you're going to be clear about your why and about what your audience needs and how you can help. Then you're going to be authentic. You're gonna, you're gonna think not just about what you talk about, but you're gonna get clear on your take on that topic. Okay, that is part of your authenticity and your particular expertise. Um, and one of the ways I think is really powerful to get at this, if you're like, I don't know quite how to get at, get at what your particular expertise is and what you have to say, is to come at it from the opposite direction and think about in your space, in your area of the field of expertise, right? So this larger umbrella topic— what is something that you disagree with? Where do you forge your own path? Where are you kind of against the grain? So I find that a really powerful avenue of thinking to help me figure out, like, Mm, my particular take on this is different than that. Where do you kind of shift in your own direction? Because when you can articulate that, it gives you something to stand on and it differentiates you and helps you really lean into your own authenticity about that. Okay, so we're clear, we're authentic. And then the third piece that I want you to think about that might help you get out front more is, of course, to be brave. And I don't mean to, um, ignore your fears and just plow through anyway. What I— I mean, that is essentially what you have to do, but there are some key things that you can do that will help you move through this. Okay, I guess what I'm saying is bravery is not just bravado. It's not bravado. Bravery is vulnerable. Bravery is willing to look stupid. Bravery is, you know, finding the practices and the tools that help you do what serves your audience best. So a few things that I do is I have some key mantras that I use to just help me move through. And that is that I'm here to love up my audience, and it's okay if it's not perfect. Uh, I, um, I often say things like, I'm gonna figure this out, because there's always issues, especially when we live in the tech world. There have been huge moments I was live with like 100 people and doing this big workshop, and my tech, uh, my, my screens wouldn't work, and they were waiting for me, and I was like, I cannot start this without it. My slides were— went kaput, and the connection wasn't working, and I had to just, um, show up live with everybody and say I'm gonna need about 15 minutes to figure this out, and I will let you know when I'm ready to go. And I'm really sorry, uh, go find something else to do for 15 minutes, and we'll start as soon as I get everything figured out. Because everybody understands that tech issues happen, and when you can deal with them head on, it helps so much, um, because that's a human thing. That's the relatable human thing that just happened. But in that moment, I had to really slap on a whole bunch of those mantras to push through, like, I can figure this out. It's okay. This is a relatable human condition. And perfection kills connection. And so I'm not going to pretend that this is perfect, we're going to own up to it and have this human experience together. And I don't think it took away anything from the ultimate effect and value of what I did do. So we find mantras that help us get through those tough moments. And I just want to remind you that the only way is through on this stuff. The only way that we get to a place where we are more comfortable, where it doesn't feel like such a big deal, to get out there and do our thing is to just do it again and again and again, because we learn self-trust as we do it. We learn through the failing and the stumbling. Do you guys see the sign above me? Oh, it's over here. Uh, if you stumble, make it part of the dance. And I got that because I was like, oh my gosh, that is That is what it's like to become a speaker. We stumble and eventually it becomes part of the dance. We've got to be brave, embrace vulnerability. And what is so awesome is that right now is an amazing time to get vulnerable and get out there because people's expectations around technology and nobody expects studio like conditions because we can't go to the studio. And so it, it has democratized this whole process in a really powerful way. And so guess what, team? It's there for the taking. And so if you can baby step your way in and get brave and get vulnerable and stumble your way to the ultimate dance, then you're going to be doing powerful things. You're going to learn a lot along the way. And just know that your mistakes, your fumbles, your tech issues, showing up and, and stumbling is human. And it does not, it does not endanger your credibility. In the way that we think it does. If we can stay present with it and handle it and find the lightness in it, our mistakes and foibles and fumbles actually endear people to you and connect people to you because they have been there, or they have imagined themselves there. And so your job is to handle that with as much self-grace as you can, and then offer it to other people as well. All right, okay, so we're going to be clear, we're going to be authentic, we're going to be brave. And I hope that you got a little nugget out of that to help you step out front with just a little more courage, a little more clarity about what it is that you have to offer and that you can share with your audience to love them up right now. Because As I said at the beginning, this is a time where I think leaders are either stepping up or missing out. And so we, we really have to step up into the space and lead. Whatever you're talking about, your people have a higher sense of need right now. I don't care what arena you're talking about, and their needs are changing. And so this is a chance for you to really lead. And impact and influence. Okay, so that's about 20 minutes, and what I want to do right now is open it up to questions. If anybody has questions, I see we've got a handful of people here live with us right now, and I would totally love to take your questions if you have them. Patrick, thanks for all your contributions. I know I— anytime I can tap into Brené Brown's brilliance? I'm gonna. She's the best. And, uh, whenever I read her stuff, I feel like I am reading about becoming a speaker, because becoming a better speaker truly is becoming a better human, like, and a better leader. Like, the process is totally parallel. So, okay, or vice versa. Absolutely. Becoming a better speaker helps you become a better person. Yes, high fives on that one. Love it. Very good. Okay, um, or yep, we've got some people saying that it's scary, that's what holds us back. Totally, totally. Even I've worked with CEOs and, um, authors, entrepreneurs who have these amazing businesses and they come to me and say, I just, I'm a facilitator, or I'm a teacher, but I'm not really a speaker. And I find that really interesting because I don't think the distinction is that useful for us. And there's a distinction in sort of the approach, but I don't think it's all that useful for us to, to say that we are not speakers when part of the ways that we lead is by speaking. Okay, so a question, uh, came in around self-trust. How can I believe for myself that, um, okay, what does it say? Oh, okay. What's one thing that I can do to believe that, um, I am worthy of being out front. This is a big question. It's a really good, important question. What's one thing that you can do? Okay, so I talked a little bit about mantras, and I think, I think those are good and fine, and it's good to have a few for you to come back to, um, that you can depend on because it's retraining your brain, and that's for sure it But, and this is going to sound really simple, but I think one of the easiest important things that you can do to believe that you're ready— essentially you're, you're trying to convince yourself that you're ready for this big thing— is by practicing. And it sounds really simple, but a lot of people don't practice enough. And it's not that you're practicing so that it goes perfectly, it's you're practicing you're practicing the fumbles, you're practicing when things don't go right, you're practicing for when everything goes wrong, when you forget what you were going to say. That kind of practicing where you're really putting yourself through the wringer, and you're not avoiding the tough process, that creates self-trust. And when you build self-trust, you're more willing to step into unknown situations or new situations and kind of give it a go because you're like, I'll figure it out, or it'll be okay. I've, I've stumbled before and, uh, I trust myself that I will be able to get through and still do something of value. So I think that's a really important part. And then the other part is, is really trying to delete from our brain and our working world the idea that perfection, doing it right, that there is a right way to do it. We have to— we do have to like keep in mind, um, contextual expectations, right? So every context is going to expect something a little bit different. Um, And you, you have to keep those in mind. You cannot be totally off the map of that. But I think that, um, we tend to hold ourselves back. Part of the reason it's scary is that we have this idea of what it should be. And if we can change that idea in a powerful way to something that feels more in line and aligned with you and your purpose and approach and like give you some permission to do some rule breaking, well then things open up a little bit. And I, I think the biggest mistake a lot of speakers make is doing it like just following all the rules and kind of being really safe about it. I think You know, there's a really awesome opportunity right now to bust through those ideas and just sort of, you know, break all the rules, show up and have a blast and do something that sounds in line with your purpose and the way you would do it. So the clearer we can be about what that is and what feels right, not just for you but for your audience, the more empowered I think we are. To move through our fears and give it a go. I hope that was helpful. That was a really big question. Um, great. Um, so my friends, I know some more questions might come in. Great, send them to me. I will tackle them in my— I'm going live daily, just mini lives. This was a little mini workshop, but I've been doing little mini 5 to 7 minute lives um, so follow me over on Instagram or Facebook if you want to catch those. And as you can— I've got on the call to action here on Crowdcast, there is a TED-worthy talk topic jumpstart kit. Well, I don't think that's exactly what I call it. That's a real mouthful. But this TED Talk jumpstart kit is full of some really powerful exercises that get at some of these things we were just talking about, uh, getting really clear on what it is that you have to offer and getting clear on your particular take on your arena and your topic. It's, it's, uh, I think some essential work for us that we tend to avoid, and we just go, we go diving right into content creation. And the content creation process will go much smoother if we can do some of this pre-work to dig in a little deeper on who we are and what we have to say and what our audience really needs. So at the end of this, uh, workbook, you will have some powerful building blocks for your talk. You'll have identified a few stories, you'll have done some really good investigative work for yourself on like what you want to be known for. There's just some really great exercises in there. So if you haven't checked that out. You can download it right here, or you can go to bmoov.com/tedtalk and sign up for it there. Okay, uh, that is it for me. I went a little longer today. We had some really good questions. Keep sending them my way. I'll tackle them for you. I'm here to help. And, uh, I just want you to know that your voice matters. Your audience needs you and needs you to step out front and get a little more visible right now. So let me know how I can help in that process. Thanks, friends. Mwah! Talk soon.