8 Public Speaking Myths That are Keeping You From Having a Bigger Impact
In a live‑stream session hosted on the Move Your Audience Facebook page, speaking coach Sally Koering Zimney walks viewers through eight pervasive myths that limit public‑speaking impact. She opens by explaining the interactive format, the use of Ecamm Live for production, and the importance of audience engagement. The core of the session is a myth‑by‑myth deconstruction: (1) the belief that a presentation must be perfect – she argues perfection kills connection and that vulnerability fuels audience engagement; (2) the idea that speakers must memorize their talk – she promotes embodied knowledge over rote recall; (3) the notion that speakers must constantly use hand gestures – she encourages natural, authentic movement that follows feeling; (4) the pressure to appear the smartest – she stresses sharing the story of how expertise was earned, not just the facts; (5) the myth that speakers need nerves of steel – she normalizes nervousness as a sign of growth and a catalyst for authentic performance; (6) the impulse to imitate a favorite speaker – she advocates discovering one’s own voice through self‑knowledge; (7) an open‑ended myth about any other hidden barrier – she invites viewers to identify their personal limiting belief. Throughout, Sally interweaves personal anecdotes (e.g., her TEDx nerves, Enneagram 7 tendencies), references to Brené Brown on vulnerability, and practical coaching tips. She concludes by offering a downloadable PDF summarizing the myths, encouraging viewers to claim their right to speak, and inviting further questions via comments or direct messages.
Hello everybody! Live streaming here with Sally Koering Zimney and all of Team Movers Music.
And for some of you, this might be our first Movers Live together because some of you are joining us in the Move Your Audience Facebook page. And I can see that we are about 30 seconds behind between what I'm doing live and what you might be watching live. So just know that, that, um, there might be a little bit of a delay, but that's okay. We are here today to talk about something really important that applies to all of us, and that is tackling 8 really pervasive public speaking myths that are likely keeping you from playing a bigger game in your speaking, from having a bigger impact, from really owning your authentic voice. Yes, now, yay! And I have got to say, I know everyone, everyone that I've ever worked with has struggled with at least one of these. Most people struggle with more than one, but everybody struggles with at least one. And so I want you to stick around with me, hop in the comments, say hello, because I want to find out— I want to help you identify what the myths might be for you that might be holding you back. Okay, so let's talk about how this is going to work. Okay, I would love at the end, if you're here, to take your questions. Throw them out all the way along because I can see them. And it's one of the cool things that I'm doing now, um, as I've shifted more away from my podcast, which I love. And I'll— you'll still be hearing all of these audio. In fact, maybe you're listening right now, uh, on the podcast. But I'm shifting more into video, and so I'm playing with all kinds of tools. And I know many of you are doing the same thing. I just want to share with you a little bit of what I'm doing. I'm on Ecamm Live right now, which is why there's all these cool— I always get mixed up about where, how I can point to it. There's all these cool things that I can add to my live stream so that it feels a little more professional, and it's super fun. I really enjoy it. So just know that when you comment, I can see it, and I can even drag some comments into the live stream with us. It's very fun. Now, you may be way ahead of me on this, which is awesome. High fives for you. But really importantly, when I get on these live streams, my favorite part about it is engagement, seeing you here, helping you, answering your questions. And I love that most people avoid questions, don't like questions. I'm, I'm all about them. I love them. So I'm thrilled that you're here. If you're watching this on replay, I'm thrilled that you're here in the future, except it's present for you now, but it's future for me. Crazy. I love it.
Good.
Okay. So today our focus is on tackling 8 public speaking myths. And the truth is that, uh, nobody is immune to this. Nobody, everyone I've ever worked with has struggled with this. Super skilled speakers, high-level leaders who seem like they have it all figured out. And my biggest job as a coach really is often about demystifying what public speaking really is and what it can be and reaching for something more in this industry because my personal belief is that the way that many people approach public speaking is not helping them. And so I want to transform the way we approach public speaking, and these myths are truly at the heart of it. So let's dive in. I've got 8 for you, and number 1 is this— it's a big one— that it's got to be perfect. Oh my gosh, I mean, I can't think of anything more boring than a perfect presentation. Okay, and oftentimes people hire me because they want me to perfect their approach. They want me to get rid of all of their filler words and to make sure that they're gesturing at just the right time and to make sure that they don't make any mistakes and that kind of shore up the humanness that is really on display when we get out front. It is such a vulnerable thing, and I think oftentimes people want to invite me in to protect them from that vulnerability. But the truth is, our humanness, our imperfections, our struggles— that is what moves an audience. So instead of aiming for perfection, what I often say is that perfection kills connection. And that's what we're going for. Ultimately, we are going for connection, and we feel connected to a real human being. It's not that we show up sloppy, it's that we show up real and we're not afraid to kind of let the inside stuff show a little bit. Okay, I really— I'm a big Brené Brown fan, and there's a reason for that, because she's speaking to our need for vulnerability, our desire as an audience for authenticity. And truly, that is what connects us with each other, this sense of, of wholeheartedness, which means embracing our imperfections. So guess what? It doesn't have to be perfect. It does not have to be perfect. Is that a relief? For some people, that is not a relief because they know it means that the bar is raised.
A little bit.
All right, now the second myth that I have for you today is that most people think that I've got to memorize this thing. Please don't memorize it, because most of the time, 95% of the time, it doesn't actually help you. It gets in the way of you being really present with what is actually happening. Now, some contexts do require us to memorize. And sometimes we end up memorizing because we are mastering the content, but that's very different than trying really quickly to memorize something and we end up just up in our head. There's lots of different approaches that can help support you in really knowing and understanding and living your content. That's different than memorizing. Memorizing is purely, these are the exact words I want to say in this particular order. We are going for something totally different than that. We're going for something that's deeper, that requires us to— for this content to really live in our bodies. Myth number 3 is that you've got to do something with your hands. Now, I'm a hand talker. As you can probably see. And I think I was trained really in the high school speech world from truly from the best coaches in the country. If you're here and you're watching, I see you, you're amazing. Does it freak you out when you see your student out here doing this work? But they're incredible. And I learned the finesse and the polish of public speaking from them. But as we evolve and grow in our voice and in our comfort and in our authority, then we soften those skills a little bit more. So we may have been trained by, uh, really focusing on how exactly we use our bodies. That's called blocking. We're going for something else. You don't have to do something with your hands at each moment. You don't have to choreograph your every move. I don't want you to do that, because the truth is, when we really feel our content, when it lives in us, the body will follow. And that makes sure that we stay within the context of our own authenticity. There's some big stuff in here, you guys. This is big. This is big. Now, I will say this about anything having to do with your hands or even filler words or the way it lives in your body or your general approach is if something is distracting, that's a problem. Okay, but other than that, there is room for you to bring your natural approach to the moment. Doesn't mean we're like loosey-goosey and unpolished, and we're not trying to become the most effective speaker we can be. But, uh, there's no one way to do this. Okay, so point number 4, myth number 4, is that I've gotta show them I'm the smartest. Okay, now oftentimes this is our really underlying desire when we are wanting to get out front is that it's all about credibility and making sure that everybody is looking at us and saying, I am so impressed with you. Now we want to shift our focus away from impressing people. I mean, we want to impress them, but that is not the goal. If the goal really is connection, then you don't have to be the smartest at everything. You are an expert at a particular thing. Okay, and how you got to be an expert at that thing is way more important than what you actually know. Okay, that's really big, you guys. That is a big thing. We think we've got to— we're called out front to share what we know, and the truth is, if we only share what we know, people don't feel connected and they won't listen to what we know. And so we've got to also share how we got there. In other words, kind of the messier part, you know, what we know is earned wisdom. How'd you earn it? Okay, because that's the part where we invite our audience in closer to where they are on the journey, and that helps them feel connected. Oh my gosh, you guys, these are big. These are really, really big things. All right, myth number 6 is that I've gotta have nerves of steel. You don't. I'll just say that. You do not have to have nerves of steel because everybody gets nervous. I think it's a myth that we think people who do this a lot or who are really good at it don't get nervous. I was just talking to a woman last week who was looking for some coaching because people keep asking her to speak because she's so good at it. But she deals with a lot of anxiety around it. I mean, these two things are not connected. When I got up to do my TEDx talk, gosh, it was a while ago now, I was so nervous. And I love to speak, and this is my job. But when we are doing something that matters to us, that feels like the next bigger stage, that is pulling more out of us, requires more from us, We're going to be nervous. People are— whenever we're doing something new, it's going to wreak havoc on us in a way that it hasn't before. Now, once we've done it a lot, that arena, like that stage of speaking, might not make you as nervous, and that's awesome. But my challenge for you is, if you're not nervous in the speaking gigs that you have right now, you're not challenging yourself enough, that you need to play a bigger game. We need to be a little nervous because it pulls something else out of us, and then our audience is more likely to be moved because we have been moved in the process. If we're playing it too safe, there's no way our audience is going to be moved. Yes. Oh my gosh, I feel like I'm handing you all these huge ahas, brain teasers, challenges. All right, so we have done 4 of them, and my question for you is, what is standing out to you, right? What's something— have you heard one along the way that you're like, yep, totally, this is me? I struggle with this. What's the myth that you struggle with? And if you haven't heard it yet, maybe it's coming. All right, so, uh, myth number 6. Oh, we just did 6, right? Which is the nerves of steel. Oh, whoops, nerves of steel. I forgot to move my slides along, but we got this. Okay, myth number 7 is that I've got to do it like so-and-so, fill in the blank. Who is that speaker that you admire? Right, we all have that speaker we watch and we're like, oh my gosh, they're so good, that's who I want to be like. Now the truth is, we often start that way because it gives us a direction to move in. I used to work in an organization where I coached all the speakers there, and I had some phenomenal speakers there, absolutely phenomenal. And they became masters of their craft because we were working on a handful of talks that they would give all year. So, you know, you might have 3 or 4 talks and you would repeat those 3 or 4 talks all throughout the year and we'd finesse them and work on them and coach them all the way along. So really by year 2 or 3, we're still changing their talks a little bit, but they had become phenomenal masters at their craft. And then a new set of speakers would come in and be like, oh my gosh, I want to do it just like that person. And for a while, they would be imitating that person to some degree, not really intentionally, but because they're thinking about them. They want to emulate them. They want to, they want to try and be as effective as they are and as impactful as they are. And what would often happen as we would work together and we would keep trying to make this integrated for them, really real for them, and find their own voice and their stories and their own approach and really getting clear on what didn't feel right for them about that approach. As they would get clear for themselves on that, they would start to step into their own. And it was my favorite thing in the world to watch them as year 2 speakers because it was a totally different ballgame. Their confidence level was way up, their belief in what they were saying, they owned it differently. Totally different ballgame. That's what we are going for. Instead of doing it like so-and-so, it's really knowing ourselves well, deeply, truly, and discarding what doesn't work for you. And leaning into the things that do work for you. So instead, you don't have to do it like so-and-so. You, your voice, your perspective, your insight, your stories, your experience. That's what we want to see. That is what will move your audience. It's a big one. And it takes a lot of work and a lot of time to get there. All right. Now the last myth that I have for you, is a fill in the blank because there's so many out there, you guys. I've got a what. What is that myth that is keeping you from really owning your authentic voice, from stepping out front with true confidence and what I call full expression? That's the sense of freedom that you have as you step out front. What is it for you? I want to know. Throw it in the comments. Let me know. Um, what am I missing from this list? What is something that's held you back? And I want to know which one resonates the most with you. Now, for me, they all resonate to some degree or another, but of course, the thing that I'm always trying to shake off, um, is this idea that it's got to be perfect. It's a big, it's a big thing. And I think I've mostly successfully shaken it off, but when I feel more nervous or more concerned or more— it's a new territory, it's a new thing— I can get kind of obsessive about it. I'm an Enneagram 7. Are there any Enneagram people out there? I ask because for whatever reason, Enneagram coaches are kind of like moth to the flame of Sally Koering Zimney, which is awesome. Um, but I'm a 7, and so when I'm stressed, I move towards a 1. Do you guys have any idea what I'm talking about right now? If you do, right, hop in, let me know what Enneagram number you are. Um, if you know about the system of which I speak right now, the Enneagram, then you know that when we are super healthy, we move towards one part of the Enneagram, and then When we are struggling, we move towards a different part, and each number has its own kind of system. But when 7s are stressed, we move towards 1s, and 1s tend to be perfectionists. So that is my thing. It's like when I get to those high-stakes moments, I have to repeat to myself the same things that I'm telling my speakers all the time, which is show up, let go, be present, Trust in your preparation and let it loose. Don't get so stuck on wanting it to be one specific way that you, that you lose the magic of live theater of the moment at hand. What's really happening. Oh my gosh, you guys, these are really powerful myths. And if, if you are hanging out along with me here, um, Here's the deal. I want to make sure that you walk away with this clear idea, and that is that you, as you are, you have everything that you need to belong out front, to belong on stage. There are no specific qualifications required to own your voice and to have a bigger impact with your voice and in your speaking. Okay. I really want you to hear that because most of us in the journey to really leverage speaking and to use that tool to impact more people and to grow our reach, uh, most people struggle along the way with really believing that they belong out front. There's something pulling you out front, but do you know that you belong there? I hope that you do. I hope that you do, and I hope that these 8 myths help kind of demystify whatever it is that is keeping you from stepping out front more. Uh, I love these, and I actually have a PDF download. It's beautiful, it looks lovely, and you can keep it in front of you all the times so that you can really own your voice and own your space and own your approach. So if you want that, just send me a quick DM either here in Facebook or if you're watching this on replay in all the different ways. Whoops, I didn't mean to do that, you guys. You're looking at my screen. Live theater. Oh, fabulous. Okay, my friends, it was so great having you here. Movers, uh, go out there, keep creating talks that move the world. I'm so honored to be your coach in the process, and I can't wait to see you next time. Bye, my friends.
They have it! Have you ever seen one of your slides before? I bet you have.
Alright. Thanks, I'll see you next time.
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