"I Don't Have Any Stories to Tell" — Why That's Never True | Ch. 11

I think I just realized why I have a crink in my neck, like over here, is because I'm always looking to the left at my monitor. I think that is part of my problem. Whoa. Welcome back. We are at part 3 of this walkthrough of Speaking Story, a book written by me. Sally Zimney, and that we are bringing to you free here on YouTube and on your podcast feed. And we are at Chapter 11 already here in Part 3. Part 3 is about finding your stories. So there is, you'll hear me talk every once in a while, you might hear a little, a mention of a new program I have called the Unspeaker storytelling system. It was inspired by the idea of my TEDx Talk, which was for people, really to encourage all people to step on stage, that we think speakers and speaking has to be kind of for this elite people who only have books and wear blazers. And I hate that idea. I just am like, let's pull speaking and speakers off the pedestal. And because I don't think it's actually good for the industry, I don't think it's good for speakers to feel like they can only show up when they're like, I, I've had an amazing life experience and I'm brilliant and I'm the hero and I'm perfect. And, and you know, the speakers who they're like, I'm gonna tell you a story of my failure, but it's really a story of their crushing it. And you're like, this is like being at the interview where they say, tell us about one of your challenges, one of your failings. And they say, you know, I'm kind of Type A. And so I have to be 5 minutes early for everything. And you're like, really? Really? That's your challenge? I think your challenge might be that you're annoying. I'm sorry, that was kind of mean, but it's kind of like that as we are finding our stories and stepping into this idea of, can I do this? And do I have a story to tell? How can I literally actually speak my story? If you are not sure yet if you're a speaker, I really hope that you're taking this in. And if you are a speaker, I really want you to be an unspeaker speaker, meaning to, instead of putting layers on, layers of polish on, we are doing the opposite of that. We are allowing ourselves to be fully seen. So in my TEDx from a million years ago, I call it being an unspeaker. And here we are at part 3, all about finding your stories. And the big question that everybody asks themselves at this point is, uh, my life is so boring. Do I actually have a story that is worth telling that anybody else will care about. Like, sure, I can tell a story about this, but is it an interesting story? Is it a story that could move people? My life is so boring. Uh, this is not the stuff of great storytelling, Sally. And, and aha, I understand that. I have heard that many, many times. But as we step into signature stories and what that really means, Then what we recognize is there are a lot of different kind of signature stories, the stories that you build your business and your idea around. And you're gonna tell many, many stories based on who you're talking to and what context you're in and what the moment calls for, what they need and who you are to them and can be to them in the moment. In this chapter, it's short and sweet. We're gonna break down a few different kinds of signature stories for you so that you can recognize that there are stories all around you all the time. Some of 'em might be a big story. It might be one of those stories that you're like, oh, this is the story I always tell. They also might be stories that are happening already in your business and you just have not put words or ideas or really discovered what is story-worthy about that moment. So let's dive in, shall we? Here we go. Hey everybody, and welcome to This Moved Me, a podcast about creating talks that move the world with me, your host, Sally Koering Zimney. This complimentary episode of the Speaking Story audiobook is brought to you in part by the Movers Collective. If you are listening to a book about speaking stories, I have a feeling you already know that you have a message worth sharing. Maybe you've been on a stage or two. Maybe it's still just a dream kind of sitting in your chest waiting. Either way, I want you to know that there's a real path from where you are right now to a speaking career that actually pays, one that fits your life, your message, and the change that you want to make in the world. That path starts with two free resources I want to give you. The first is the Movers Roadmap. This is a clear-eyed look at what it actually takes to build a career as a professional speaker. The second is an audio series that I recorded live, uh, and this developed with my own clients, and it's called the Power Pitching Push. And in this series, I walk you through exactly how to pitch yourself as a speaker so that you can get some gigs. You will get a real taste of what it's like to work with me. Both are free. Go grab them. Sally-z.com/path. Sally-z.com/path. And when you're ready to go all in, The Movers Collective is where we can take you from talented to professional. All right, now let's get into the show. Part 3: Finding Your Stories. Chapter 11: Signature Stories. Are you thinking right now, "I don't have any stories to tell"? Don't worry, I have been there. In fact, every time I sit down to write and create a story to speak, I think the same thing. My life is so boring. I don't live a life people would want to hear about. All I do is work and then run the kids to a zillion activities, then watch some Netflix, five the energy, and then go to bed. And then I hit repeat the following day. That's not really the stuff of engagement, Sally. Okay, you're right. That summary of my day is definitely not the stuff of engagement or story dreams. Telling a version like that of your day may get some appreciative nods or responses like, "Yep, I live that boring life too." And that's not nothing, but it's not what we're going for here. The truth is that underneath the boring parts of our lives are powerful stories that can be at the heart of our messages if we take the time to see them this way. I call any story that becomes the heart of a message a signature story. Sometimes these signature stories are at the heart of a signature talk, which is a repeatable, scalable, profitable message like a keynote. Other times they are at the heart of a livestream on social media, or a moment in a panel discussion, or an introduction at an event. Any speaking moment can be grounded in a signature story. These signature stories come in all forms and types. I'd like to introduce you to 3 of the most common kinds of signature stories that my speakers and I use. Number 1: Everyday stories. In 2014, I started a podcast called This Moved Me about the art of public speaking and moving your audience. At the time I'm writing this, I have done over 350 episodes, and it's become a library of content I'm incredibly proud of. At the end of all of my interview episodes, which feature some truly incredible speakers and thought leaders from around the globe, including speakers of the 10 most watched TED Talks In the World, we would spend about 10 minutes talking about a "this moved me" moment. I would start by asking my interviewees, "What's moving you right now?" The idea was that if we want to move our audience, then we need to understand what is moving audiences and also how we are moved. Each interviewee would share with me a whole range of moments from their life, from supporting a friend going through a difficult time to a tender exchange in the airport. To a poem they'd read recently, to a hilarious video that had just gone viral. It was a full range of emotions and experiences, and it was always my favorite part of the interview. I learned so much about the speaker, and it gave me a moment to pause and ask myself the same thing: What's moving me right now? And honestly, as a mom of 3, I spend a lot of my day running around feeling like a chicken with my head cut off, and it doesn't leave a lot of space for inspiration or wisdom to come to me. That's a problem. I need to be cultivating wisdom I can pass along to my audience, or I cannot be in full service to my audiences or my speakers. My ideas and perspective are gained through experience, observation, and reflection, so this question about what's moving me isn't just about filling a content gap, It's about a point of view that can be shared with an audience. It's about finding stories that can be at the heart of my messages. But sometimes I would come up empty-handed. "What moments or stories do I have to share?" I would think. God, it's lucky I got here and pressed record at all, let alone show up with something profound to share. And then I remembered this moment with Scott Voss from episode 5 of This Moved Me. Called "Using Stories to Empower." Whenever I have trouble coming up with a "this moved me" moment, I remember what Scott, who was a former speech coach of mine and a genuinely awesome human, said to me, "Well, if you can't find a 'this moved me' moment, you're really not paying attention, are you?" Yep, that's it. Life is magical if we can take the time to see it, If I was empty-handed in that moment, it wasn't because life itself is boring, it was because I wasn't paying attention to the moments happening around me. In the same way, I have a feeling you're missing out on a bunch of life that happens in between those obligations and the Netflix time. The trick is, are we seeing the stories that surround us each and every day? Our job as storytellers and leaders is to help our audience see things differently, and so we must start by, as one of my dear friends and fellow entrepreneurs Tiffany Maddox suggests, seeing with story eyes. When you're working, what do you notice? Are you paying attention to the interactions, the little things that happen between coworkers, your reaction or thoughts about a particular moment? When you're driving your kids from activity to activity, what's the conversation like? What stirs your insides or tickles your fancy? What gets you teary? What pisses you off? What struck you about that Netflix show that you watched or the book you're reading or the podcast you're listening to? Essentially, part of your job as a speaker and storyteller is to pay attention to what's moving you. And if you're not being moved daily, my guess is that you're not paying attention or not creating the needed space in your life to see with story eyes. It's easier said than done, but it's not a nice-to-do, it's a must-do. These moments are needed fodder and continued purpose for speaking your story. Because the only way for us to move our audience is to know what moves us as well. The second type of story are customer stories. The easiest and most accessible stories to tell are the stories of your customers, clients, or employees. Basically, you're sharing their wins and struggles. They're all around you, and those stories are a fabulous way to build awareness, connection, and social proof. In other words, proof that what you're doing works. Why are these stories so much easier to share? For most people, it's easier to talk about other people than it is to talk about themselves. Customer stories are often easier to share because they feel less vulnerable. No ego, no bragging. Rather, we're pointing people's attention to others rather than to ourselves. Here's a pro tip: customer stories cannot be the only stories you share. For me, a tried-and-true Minnesotan, this is a common struggle. Humility is a cherished Midwestern value, which is great. Humility is important. But if we only tell the stories of our customers and never share our own leadership stories and struggles, we are not stepping into thought leadership. We are simply a messenger. So even though a customer story is important, they cannot be the only ones we share. The third kind of stories our origin stories. When I was about 9 years old, I would lie in bed at night listening to a cassette tape—yes, I'm that old—of the story of Martin Luther King Jr. There I was, a middle-class white girl in the middle of the very white suburbs, listening to a story about a revolutionary Black man from another time who experienced things that sounded barbaric to me. I remember lying there hearing his words— and feeling moved by them. "How could that happen?" I think. "Why would people treat others like that? Why?" I didn't understand it, but I felt it. I felt the horror, the frustration, the injustice, and I knew in my core that it wasn't right. Obviously, these values were passed on to me by my parents and my community, but there was something about that moment that helped it sink in deeper. My life is clearly different from MLK's, and of course I lead a privileged life as a white person that keeps me from truly understanding or appreciating the real pain of racial injustice. But the story, the words, the passion, the moments shared on that cassette tape helped me see this different life and tap into the emotive experience required for change. It was one of the first moments where I got to see how stories really can move the world. It's also a moment I look back to again and again as the source of my belief in the power of speaking stories, in connecting people, creating powerful change, and inspiring engagement in ideas you might otherwise appreciate but not integrate. This moment from my 9-year-old life is one of my core origin stories, the final category of signature stories we're looking at together. An origin story is exactly what it sounds like: a story about the origin, or beginning, of something. Origin stories don't need to be dramatic or life-changing. They are simply at the root of any aha moment you've had. Every idea started somewhere. So what was that aha moment for you? The point when you realized something? That's an origin story. Perhaps it's the story of the moment you got the idea for your business, or the moment you discovered a new process or approach, or the moment you took a big risk that led you to where you are now. Great stories are built on powerful aha moments. So what are yours? That's where you'll find a story that needs to be shared. That's the end of this chapter of Speaking Story. If you want to keep listening ad-free, you can find the full audiobook on Audible, or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts or on YouTube. And if this chapter stirred something in you, if it, shall we say, moved you, let me suggest that you start with the Unspeaker Simple Storytelling audio mini-course at sally-zimney.com/unspeaker. All right, Movers. This moved me. What is moving you? See you next time.