Movers LIVE: We are BAD Mirrors for Ourselves

Well, hello everybody! Welcome to Your Movers Live. So great to have you here. Thanks for joining me. Thank you for your engagement here in the community. We've had a lot of people join in the last gosh, well, a few months. I mean, the group's only 2 months old, so you've all joined in the last few months, but especially the last few weeks, we've got a lot of new people coming in, and that is so awesome. And part of the reason it's awesome is because of what we are going to be talking about today. We're bad mirrors for ourselves, my friends. We absolutely are. And we're going to talk about how to get it better. How to have a clear image of ourselves so that we can grow and develop. And most importantly, I am not here to just like blabby blab out into nothingness. I want to hear from you. So I know a lot of you watch this on replay. And so even if you are watching this on replay, I want to invite you to hop into the comments Throw out your questions, say hello if you are here, and let me know what you're thinking and where you're at so that I can help you better. So welcome, hello, we are gonna have fun. Now today, as I just talked about, is really all about how we are bad mirrors for ourselves, my friends. We are. And I like to start with a story But what I was realizing was this is such a universal experience. There's no like one aha moment. It's just been true since day one. What I see as a coach is not what my speakers see in themselves. And much of my job as a coach is pulling off the fuzzy glasses that we are wearing when we look at ourselves in the mirror. And when time and time again, a speaker says to me, "Why didn't you tell me that my voice sounds like that? Why didn't you tell me that I walk like that? How come my face is so weird? How come I have a crooked smile? I didn't even know that." Right? That's me. That's what I say about myself. I had no idea I had like a crooked mouth all the time. I had no idea until I started seeing myself. And the process of getting a clear picture of yourself is important. Now, clear doesn't mean, um, noticing all of the things that you hadn't noticed before. Okay? Uh, it means accepting accepting all of the things that you haven't noticed before. And the process of getting to the place where— and what we are moving towards, what we're going to be talking about today is how we move towards self-trust. And part of how we get to self-trust is, is really knowing ourselves, accepting how we show up, It doesn't mean not working on improving things. It doesn't mean ignoring the things that get in the way. But right now there are too many things that get in the way that there's no reason why they're getting in the way because it's not getting in the way of anybody else. It's just getting in the way of you. And we only want to focus on the things that are getting in the way of your audience. So that we can get out of our own way. To do that, we have to have a clear, a better mirror. And right now, everyone I've ever worked with ever has a messed up mirror of themselves. It's a problem. It's a problem because when we are convinced that we walk funny or our voice sounds weird our crooked smile is wrong, it gets harder to show up. It gets harder to show up authentically. It gets harder to be brave. It gets harder to serve our audience and have an impact that we want to have. So we gotta work on it. So I want to talk about today 3 things that you can focus on to help you get to self-trust. And the first is to find a trusted guide. Now, my hope is that I can be a trusted guide for you. That is my hope. I love being your guide. I love coaching. And that's, like I said, that's what I do. I spend a lot of time just being like, here's the impact that you are having, and it has nothing to do with your own interpretation and perspective on yourself. Okay, so finding somebody who can help you see clearly is really important. Now, trusted is important. It can't just be anybody. So if you're here and you're listening to me and you're like, yeah, I feel like Sally is speaking what I need to be hearing, and I like her vibe, I like the connection, I feel like she gets me, Awesome. If you show up here and you're like, "I'm not really clicking with Sally for any reason," and that's fine. That is totally fine. I am not your trusted guide. There's lots of other coaches out there, and you need to find a coach that you connect with, that you trust, who you know is leading you wisely and authentically, not just doing it because of how everybody else does it, but has discovered a process that will help you. Okay, so a trusted guide. And the reason we need to trust this person and feel a connection with this person is because this is personal and vulnerable. Yay! Speaking is personal and vulnerable, and we all know this. You all know this. It's probably why you're here, because you're like, "Whew, I'd love a little support in this process," because it can be harrowing. So finding a trusted guide makes it easier for you to step into courage. That's my job, and I love it. Yes. Okay, so that is the first step. You need to find a trusted guide. The second thing that I want you to focus on is finding a trusted community. Because your guide, your coach, whatever you want to call her or him, uh, they can only do so much. And the community part is really important. On the show this week, maybe you've had a chance to, to watch it or hear it because it kind of shows up in all kinds of different ways on the podcast but also on YouTube. And then I I take little excerpts and I put them here in the group and on LinkedIn and blah, blah, blah. It's, it shows up in a lot of different places, but my hope is you've caught some of the message of it, which is that we do better in community. And this is not, this is something I always developed talks in community, either as like a part of a team, even as a coach, I was, I was leading a team of people and we would We would workshop talks together. It was always in community, and I love that. Now, it runs counter to the way a lot of people think they have to work on their speaking, which is on their own, because it ultimately, it's just you up there, and it can feel really isolating. That is the word that I hear from my speakers. Speaking can be so isolating. It's a lonely process because it is up to me, and that feels like pressure. And you're trying to figure out on your own. Ultimately, there's a lot of self-reflection and self-determination on the process of speaking, and that is true. But when you add community into that mix, it helps you go farther faster. Community is what helps you shift your mindset faster, and community can be an essential part of you seeing yourself more clearly. Because, um, the way the brain works is we're not going to believe necessarily the first person who tells us I like your voice. I actually like your voice. When you are like, I had no idea I sounded that way. It's such a disorienting experience for people. And so when you have a community that feels more like peers, like-minded people who have been there recently, right? It's a different level of guidance and affirmation. And encouragement. It's one thing for me to say, this is what I see and this is what I think you've got going on. And believe me, you're gonna be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're the expert. But when a trusted community says, I see you, I love what you've got going on, go, go, go, and I was there, I know exactly what you're talking about, That community, it's potent. It's really powerful in terms of the process of you seeing yourself more clearly. So we have a trusted guide and a trusted community, a place, and it needs to be a place where you feel like you can come and show up, where you're not going to be ridiculed, where you're not going to be demeaned or poo-pooed. And all the, the negative sides of community, right? It has to be a place where you feel safe. So I— that's why I watch my community really closely, and I have a lot of rules in the community. And that's why we have rules in Facebook groups, because one person coming in and spamming people or saying negative things or all the icky stuff that can happen online. If that happens, it can really destroy the sense of community. So a trusted community is really important. And then when you have those things consistently and you start to experience for yourself the process of stepping out front, then we get to a trusted self. And trusting yourself is a process. Now, some people can get to self-trust without a trusted guide, without a trusted community, but most people can't do it. That's why we have coaches. And I know a lot of you are coaches. And you get this from a really intrinsic place. You understand that the process to trusting ourselves requires other people. And once we get there, it's not like it's done. Self-trust has been achieved, and now I see myself clearly, I accept all the different parts of me, and I can show up authentically and freely. That's what we want. I think we can all recognize that some days are better than other days. Some days I can access my confidence and access my sense of capability and my self-trust and purpose and all the things that help us take risks and help us step out front. Some days I can access that stuff really easily, and there are other days where I'm like, "Pfft." And then we go back to our trusted guide and our trusted community. There are days when I'm just— I can't find my trusted self, and I've got to go to my trusted community and say, "Can you remind me of Sally Koering Zimney?" my abilities, please. I have to borrow your belief because right now I don't have it. And that's okay, that happens sometimes. I was working with a client of mine, a speaker of mine, the other day, and she has a talk coming up that honestly she's just feeling really anxious about. And I said, who are your cheerleaders? Who are the people in your life that you can literally say, "I need to call on you in this moment. Can you please send me texts that morning and cheer me on and listen to me when I'm processing it afterwards? Can you be in my corner in a really intentional way?" Those are your cheerleaders. And that was a concept that she was like, Yeah, you're right. She said to me, you're right, that has been helpful. She said, I was worried that it would make me extra nervous, that it would make me more self-conscious, like feel more pressure. But she said, actually, it really helped. So sometimes we need to tap into our community, our guides, so that we can find it back in ourselves again. Our trusted selves. And then once we do that, really powerful, amazing things happen. Then we can show up kind of fully, authentically, give our 110% for our audience instead of getting caught up in our own baloney, in our own heads. Because that's what ultimately ends up happening is we're just like, eh, up here. It's very self-focused instead of focused on the audience. That's the ironic thing. Once we trust ourselves, we're not really thinking about ourselves anymore. That's, that's big stuff. It's super important. And what I want to make sure that you all know about is that this community here in Move Your Audience, uh, Facebook group, over on YouTube, in Movers U. These are communities that can be resources for you, that can be your community, that it's a way to access me as a guide for you, which is awesome. But I, I want to specifically invite you into checking out Movers U my new community that is a membership, a monthly membership. It's a paid monthly membership for a small fee. You can be in community in a very intentional way. Facebook groups are awesome. This place is gonna— Move Your Audience is gonna continue to be a source, I hope, of tips and inspiration for you, and we'll do occasional challenges, and I will be here encouraging you. Which is fabulous. But Movers U is gonna be a learning community where you can show up and say, "I'm struggling with this specific thing," and find resources to help you. We'll be doing monthly masterclasses. We'll be doing monthly Q&As where you can show up and ask whatever question you have, and I am there to answer it for you. We'll be doing, um, monthly— Um, hot seats, live coaching. I'm so excited for that. That is super powerful. So one of my community members will get some free coaching from me for 30 minutes, and we invite everybody else in so they can learn together. It's the most beautiful, surprising thing. So excited about that. Um, there's optional accountability groups, and right now I am opening up founding membership. And that means for the first 50 people, actually, it's not 50 anymore because there's already 4 people who have raised their hand and said, yes, I'm joining in. But for the first 50 people here in December, if you join in, um, you also get, uh, you get this founding members price, which is $29 a month. Normally once we, once we hit 2021, it's going to be $39 a month. So right now is the time you can save $100 over the course of the year. And if you sign up annually, and that math doesn't exactly work out, I do know how to do math, but, uh, when you join annually, you save 2 months worth. So it's, if you join now, it's $29 a month or $290 for the year. And in Jan— right now, if you join in January, it's $39 a month and $390 for the year. So that all— that was way more confusing than I really wanted it to be, but hopefully that makes sense. I want you to reach out if you have any questions, and I'm going to put the link in the comments so that you can go check it out. But I'm doing this— my intent and my purpose here is to help you actually make good on the promise of speaking. To take you from where you're at and next level your skills and your impact. So if you have on your goal for 2021 to utilize speaking more in your business, this is a way to be intentional about that approach in an affordable way where you get access to tons of resources over in MoversU that don't exist anywhere else. They are living in that community. And so my hope is that you will join us, um, because when we are in community, we can get a clearer image of ourselves. When you have a trusted guide that you can go to, we can ultimately get to a place where we can show up and let go and focus in on our audience and our message and the impact that we can have. That's ultimately what we want to do. Yes? Awesome. Well, thank you for being here. I see a few of you have joined us. Reach out to me if you have any questions or you are, um, yeah, just want to know more about it. And I would recommend that you check out the link, bemoved.com/join-movers-u. The letter U, because that will give you all the details, information, answer all your questions, and, um, and it's how you can access the membership. Remember, we've only got 50 minus 4, 46 spots left. Math! 46. I'm really— the brain is just like on fire right now, so Uh, I'm, I'm, yeah, I, I do know how to do math, I promise. Uh, but they're gonna go, they're gonna go, and I would love for you to join in as my founding member. And my, my Signature Talk Studio people can tell you, I am, feel so connected to and grateful for those people who jump in first, and you will forever be um, just close in my heart, and I will bend over backwards for you because your trust in me means the world. And I can't wait to be your coach. All right, my friends, we get a clear image of ourselves 3 ways: trusted guide, trusted community, trusted self. That's how we get there. And my hope is that you can do that for yourself. And for all of us here, as we close up our time, you know what I need? I need a little bit of music. Who's excited? Here's my favorite thing. Yes, I know, right? Congratulations, you're here, and I'm so happy. And We are gonna wrap up. I'm gonna do one more Movers Live here before the end of the year. Remember, this founding member price goes away in January. Let's help you bring your voice out a lot more in 2021. Bye, my friends. Have a good one.