Permission To... CTFO

They say fortune favors the bold, so what are you waiting for?

The right time, the right sign, the right guide.

The thing is, Movement Maker, you were never meant to follow anyone else. You were destined for something bolder and braver and truer, and you know it. It's time for you to write your own damn permission slip. You have permission to dream big.

Not that you need it from us.

Fortune favors the bold.

So what are you waiting for?

They say fortune favors the bold.

Oh, we're doing it again.

Oh wow.

Oh my gosh. Let's turn that down. And let's—

and out.

Wow.

When it starts, like, I can't help but move when music's on, even if it's just like my leg. And then you start talking and I'm like, your own damn permission slip. And then I'm like, are you serious? Yeah.

I sound so angry. And now that I listen to it, I'm like, your own damn permission slip. Like, wow, Sally. Just CTFO, actually.

Woo! So we were, we were talking before we got on that we were just gonna chat. Yeah, so let's, let's just—

we're gonna be two business besties on a businessy chat because this is what we do as business owners and entrepreneurs, is you have to be in it with other people to help you find your zen through the hard seasons and challenges. There always seems to be one, you know, it's a roller coaster. There's always something. Yeah, multiple. Maybe you're riding multiple roller coasters and doing all the things.

One arm on one roller coaster, one leg on it.

This one's going up and this one's—

yeah.

I love it. It's so true. It is so true. And here we are. Okay, so can I share the— does the CTFO, did that come from you? I mean, because I use it regularly.

I mean, it's in my vocabulary, but I don't claim that one.

Okay. Well, it came up recently.

If it came from you, I will claim.

Okay, I think I know what that one is.

I don't think that—

yeah, you, uh, no, no, the, um, CTFO has been a strategy that I'm leaning into as a— and if you guys can hear, I'm at the cabin. P.S., let's just set the context at the stage. It's so beautiful, but it's very windy right now.

So pretty.

And I, I feel like the wind is, is making noise, so if you can hear it, just I don't know, bring yourself to the side of an ocean. Just imagine you're in a, hmm, really CTFO kind of place. That's what I'm doing. Ah, because as a middle-aged woman, business owner, entrepreneur with 3 teenagers and just high-intensity, high-stress time, even summer, you know, transition time, there's just a lot of big, big stuff happening, and I'm trying to keep my cortisol level at a lower place.

Straight to cortisol. That's where we're at now. We know about our cortisol level.

We do. We do.

We're in— it's high. Can I—

okay, this is going to be a slight tangent, and then I promise I'll stop talking. But okay, part of the CTFO thing is part of the reality of being a middle-aged woman right now is I, I just feel like I don't even know my body right now. I went in to see my doctor. This was very embarrassing. They weigh you. I was like, what the hell? Like, it just, it was a shocking number. I don't weigh myself on the regular because who wants to do that? No, thank you. And then I sat down and this like message in bright red popped up on the screen with my weight on there and it said, "Is that right?" Question mark. Like, "That is a big increase from the last time you were here." And I was like, "Wow." I know that happens too with the AI at your doctor's office. And the doctor said, is that right? And I said, I guess so. I mean, unless you're kidding me with this number here. Um, uh-huh. So cortisol and me trying to be TFO. I even started my workshop yesterday. I invited you know, it was like wannabe speakers, aspiring speakers come in, let's chat. And I do a little bit of training, but it's mostly just, hi, I'm here to answer your questions and help you out. And I started it saying, hey, guess what? I'm approaching this with a very CTFO attitude. And does everybody know what that means? Let me just tell you. I just was like, my goal is to chill the eff out.

Here's the thing, I had told myself that for years because I realized when my— I— for me it's my blood pressure. Like, I can start like seeing spots, or like I can physically feel real if I'm in a stressful situation, or like too much is going on, or whatever. Like, I know what that feeling is, right? And so for me it's always been a like, cool it down so you don't like explode, right? Yes. But now it's taken on this air of like, it's not in the moment, it's just more of a like, this is a season to do that in. This is not just because my body is like, oh, this moment you need to— it's not like an inside-out situation. This is like, you know what, right, summertime, it's pretty outside, my kids are not like as busy as they normally are. Like, this season is just— oh yeah, this is a season where I just need to lean in on it. And I love that. Really, where it started with you and I both was probably like 4 weeks ago, you think? Probably like 4 weeks ago. Meet weekly about PSC, and we both showed up and we were kind of just like, our brains are not in this right now. It's not because we don't want it to be in this, it's just, yeah, yeah, we've had other, we've had other stuff that is more pressing time-wise, or we want to enjoy the summer with our kids. And so we came to a mutual agreement, like gave ourselves permission, um, to kind of chill on PSC, you know, until, you know, until this month so that we could get through some other things. That were going on. I'm out of the office all, all week next week. Sally's had some travel going on. So instead of being like, we should show up to this weekly meeting, we should be moving things forward, we should be, we should be, we were like, or we can just say no for a few weeks.

Yeah. Yeah. And this has been— here's what I love about what you're saying, Erica, is you're reminding all of us that this is not just a you need this today, but just really thinking about it more as a how do you, how do you build in spaces and permission for you to recognize that there are going to be chunks of time where you're just gonna chill about it. You're gonna chill about it. Like, you can't be focused on visibility and showing up on social every day for very long. Like, you will, you will lose interest. It'll stop being fun. You won't be creative anymore. People are going to stop engaging. Like, it doesn't work that way. You actually— and the algorithm honestly wants you to take a break sometimes so that you can come back, you know. Like, if there's always 30 stories on your, you know, whatever, all your little beep beep beep Is the algorithm telling us to CTFO? The algorithm is telling us to CTFO. Ah, we have discovered, we've figured it out. Um, which is so funny because, you know, I'm also the person giving the message to show up anyway. Yeah, and, and like, stop your excuses and just do it. And that's true too, because I don't think that's actually chilling. Like, do— wanting to and not is not chilling. No, choosing not to, that's chilling.

Yeah, that's— so this— when was my birthday? May 30th.

What is today?

One moment please. Today is the 13th, so we are 14 days past my birthday. On my birthday, I launched a new brand. Like, no other way to say that.

Yeah, you did.

Launched a new brand on my birthday. And that was a lot of work. There were automations to put together, the branding, the messaging, blah, blah, blah. Anywho, it was an undertaking. And my team set my birthday as the, like, this is the day we're just going to do it. So we had things we had to do. And things that we— that I wanted to do. Hey, Jawanda, it's good to see you. I just chatted with you today. And there were things that had to get done that I wanted to get done. And if I had done what I have always done, which is like, let's do this, but also I need to be doing the PSC stuff, and also I need to be doing this, as opposed to saying to you, you know, I just really— I need a break from PSC because I'm not doing at the level I want it to do it at. And really what is more pressing and where I want my time and resources to go is to this launch first. So saying that to myself, first of all, was a big deal. And then saying it to you, who's like the softest landing place I could find, but even that is still just kind of like, I got to say this out loud. I just feel like saying it to somebody else, making it reality. It was like, okay, cool. We're just not going to— we're going to hold each other accountable to CTFO at this moment. Right?

Absolutely. And I love what Jawanda is saying here, too. You have to know what refueling you need to fully show up. And I kind of wonder— I know. Amen. So what refueling, Jawanda? I'd be curious. What refueling helps you show up? Since you're here. And for you, Erica, what refueling helps you really— what does CTFoing look like for you? What is the refueling?

What is the refueling? Um, well, I did a new puzzle. I feel like I'm gonna be known as the puzzle— as the puzzle woman. Um, and it was a really frustrating puzzle. I got it— did I get that for my birthday?

I think so.

I opened it up.

Refueling— I just— okay.

I mean, I'm happy for you because it just gives me, it gives me something to do that's not work. And that's the training I'm still trying to train myself to do, is to do something that is not work, like take margin and just have margin and not feel like I have to fill it with something. So for me, sitting and just relaxing my body and relaxing my brain Honestly, I'd love it to be sleep, but the reality of this summer, my kid working until midnight, so I can't go to sleep till then either. You know, there's just season.

That's late. That's hard. Yeah.

So that's that. And then also I've been saying more yes to friends. Yes to this is not normal schedule, but I will get up and go for a walk with you.

Today.

And yes, let's just put lunch on the calendar. Like, I've just been saying yes more to— okay, to friend get-togethers.

Yeah. Okay, what about for you?

Oh, thanks.

Right now my CTFO-ing is listening to— like, laying on my back patio on our little whatever, wicker couch on the back patio with Bailey in the sun. Well, always with Bailey. Let's get real about that. Constant. I feel, I feel hunted sometimes, I'm not gonna lie.

Bailey's her dog, not her kid.

Yes, yes, just to be really clear. She's right here right now, always very close by. It's just Sometimes I'm like, hey, you know what? You know what's good for relationships? Space, daily space. Anyway, so I'm in the backyard and I'm listening to— I'm, I'm back into reading fiction and listening to fiction, and, um, either one, either one. And that is helping me. I love taking long walks and like there's some really pretty college campus near my house and just walk through there and there's a fountain and a— or a pond and, you know, it's lovely. And that helps me. I have to move my body and I need some sort of like escapist mechanism in my head. But I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing, for good and for ill, which helps. Okay, Jawanda responded. I'm so glad you're here, Jawanda.

Quality time with quality people. Okay, I love that. That's good. Patio time, unplugging, which is not as easy for me, and reviving hobbies. See, puzzling's my hobby. You can laugh, but that's good. Also, that unplugging— somebody in my, um, uh, where is she at? She's in the Aughts community group. She challenged herself to do the thing where her phone is outside of her bedroom Um, and I was like, I gotta— I'm feeling convicted, I gotta try this too. So we both agreed to do it. Um, and I didn't take it out of my bedroom, but I've turned it off every night before bed going on 5 weeks.

So turn it off, baby.

Yeah, and like the little flipper goes off, so when I wake up in the morning, I can't just roll over, grab my phone, and check my email. I have to actually turn it on, get it to boot. And that's been a really positive change.

Yeah. I think for me, the version of that would look like, because I don't, I'm not a scroller at night because I'll read at night and I'm not a scroller in the morning. Well, that's not true. That's not true. So I think the challenge would be for me would be to hold off on pulling the phone out in the morning. I don't lay in bed and do it, but I go to it like right away when I'm up. I think the challenge would be to put the phone away, and I'm just gonna say this out loud because now I'm gonna have to do this, is put it away for like a half hour. Like, it is not the first thing that I do. It's not I'm not focused on, okay, what are the emails that come in and what am I doing today? And blah, blah, blah. It's like, what would happen? What would happen?

I mean, okay, the first thing my youngest sees when he comes in my bedroom for a long time has been me on my phone in my bed. Like, yeah, if I don't have the phone on, then my first thing is to go get a cup of coffee. But at least I'm awake and my eyeballs are open and I'm looking at him. And not at my phone.

That's powerful because then that is what he's going to do. Oh, because that's what he knows and understands and it's what he's doing.

So Jawanda, to that, what I would say is what is like the baby step you can take? So for me, like, I'm still reading way later than I should. I am still playing my little game before I go to bed. But dang it, I am telling that phone it has to turn off. So that was like, that's like my first baby steps.

That's huge, Erica.

I think so. Now that I know I can do that, now I'm going to try the thing where I make sure I get out of bed before I turn my phone on. Let's do this.

Let's check in. Okay. Yeah.

All right.

Okay. So I am going to— I'm going to commit to something. And then I have a really fun story about what happens when entrepreneurs get together and they challenge each other on stuff like this and commit to things together. So, um, I will commit to the phone. Like, I don't pick the phone up. I don't— I'm not trying to puzzle. My New York Times Wordle is gonna have to wait. All the things, it's just gonna have to wait until— I don't know what's realistic. What could I do?

Oh, what do you do first thing? I'm gonna assume the bathroom, but then do you brush teeth? Do you go for coffee, tea? What, like, what is the Oh, Bailey!

Sorry, Bailey's moment. Hey, babe, do you want to go outside? Oh, please, I'll be right there. Oh, thank you, Harper. Thanks, honey. Um, so much happening here. Yes. Um, I walk, I go on a walk, so I need it for when I, I need it for when I go on a walk because then I'm listening to Marcos or—

yeah.

My book or music.

So don't look at it until you go on your walk. And then Jawanda says disconnect before bed, brain dump in a paper journal. Oh, that's good, Johnny.

That's really good. I had to stand up and applaud that.

Yes, I just— I was— I cleaned a big pile off my desk today and I was gifted this beautiful journal that has my name on it and it's just been sitting in the pile. No, isn't it pretty? And, um, oh look, I didn't even realize the pin has my name too. That was a speaker gift actually.

Isn't that so nice?

Um, and I grabbed it today and I put it in my purse. That's why you saw me go like this. Um, because I need to start writing down my ideas. Like, I, I need to stop voice memoing them to myself and actually writing them down. So find yourself a journal, like you said, Jolanda. That's That's— we're gonna do this together. Okay, so you're not gonna touch your phone until—

so, so good— until I get up and start moving my body.

And I'm gonna make myself get to the coffee maker and say good morning to my family before—

first— before I do it. It's just an order of events thing, right? It's an order of events. First, yeah, you're gonna connect with the people. People over electronics. That's what I'm always telling my kids. I'm like, people are more important than your electronics. They're like, okay, Mom, you're on your phone right now too. I'm like, good point. Okay, we're working on it. We're all working on it. We're all working on it. Okay, so a fun story really quickly about— because I think this is what we do when we get together. This is what business besties do when they get together and we start talking business. We start talking struggles. Is we can't help it but put it in the form of what's the next level up we can do. So I had coffee. I'm having like a million coffees right now. It's so fun. And I'm, uh, Carla, Carla, Carla's last name I can't remember right now. She's from the Inspired Foundry, which is probably the most important part of this. So Carla is a brand strategist and designer, and she does beautiful designs, and she's worked with a handful of my speakers. And I realized— we just both figured out that we were in Minnesota, and we're like, well, we need to hang out. Oh my gosh, it's amazing. So we had coffee, and by the end of that time together, we had challenged each other to do 8 videos a day on TikTok. That was not the intention. That was not a vibrator when we sat down to to talk it through. It's just as we talk about, we're like, that's what we need, and we'll do it together. She, she like crafted a really fun, cute little brand for our— we're calling ourselves the, the Doers, and, uh, it's adorable. And we have a Slack channel. And then I like convinced a whole bunch of people.

I'm like, Erica, I said I cannot commit to that right now. Yeah, because I'm currently CTFOing.

Yeah, and that's fantastic. Yeah, super fantastic. But what it reminds me of are these sprints that we tend to— we tend to do these kind of approach life, our business lives, in these sprints. Like, oh, this is the focus for now, and this is the focus for now. And what if we just gave ourselves like CTFO sprints to, you know, like, oh, these next 5 days, CTFO. I'm gonna really dial down my level of intensity on that, and I'm gonna, because of the life circumstance I'm in right now, that is a CTFO sprint.

I love this. Anna and I talked about it yesterday because she's leaving on vacation. I'm actually traveling for work next week. Um, so, and we were like, okay, how are we going to handle that while we're both out? Um, and I've got an upcoming family vacation over the Fourth of July. And I said, you know what, yeah, where I'm at today— and this is a good place because I have never been here— I'm like, it will be okay. Like, we're gonna tell people it may take us 72 hours to get back to you. As a matter of fact, I quite literally told that to Juanda this morning. It may take us 72 hours to get back to you, I said. And while The worst that could happen is somebody could choose not to engage with us in whatever that sales issue or situation is. That's kind of the worst thing that can happen. But right now we are in a place where our automations are set, our offerings are handled. And so we really can just see TFO and go on vacation and tell people we're on vacation or we're away from our email. And it'll be okay. And this is the first time that I have really— I've tried it a lot over the last couple of years and I've been pretty successful at it, but this is the first time where I'm just like, not only do I know I can do it, I know it feels completely okay to do it at the same time.

Yep. So powerful. And I think part of what you're doing as a leader of entrepreneurs is modeling that it is okay. In fact, it's really essential in the same way that the algorithm is like, whoa, too much. Okay, too much. Right? It's like a Bailey. It's like we don't want to be Bailey in our business. Like, okay, I just need some space. I just need some space, Bailey. Space is good, right? Take some space.

I like this.

And then after you CTFO, you just dive back in. Wow, it all really connected.

I also have a social post getting ready to go up of, um, acronyms, and I'm for sure going to add CTFO to the post.

Absolutely. Yeah, we are. We're gonna— we're gonna focus on a CTFO sprint.

Okay, and I like it.

You can say, I'm in a CTFO sprint right now, which means that my main focus is to chill the fuck out and And I wish you a similar day. Have a chill day. Love, Erica.

I like a good out-of-office message, so maybe I'll do that.

Okay, I do too. All right, here's what we need to do. We are— I'm just putting this on the bottom. We are about a month away from early bird ticket prices, boop, going up. So before, I mean, for all of you watching, for those of you who catch this on replay and you're with us, this is really important. November 15th, mark your calendars, grab your tickets now because on July 17th they go up.

And I'm looking at the list of women who have already taken advantage of this up on my wall. That's a good list. It's a great list.

What wise women. There's so many fun things to come, and I know it feels like it's far away. It's really not. It's really not. We have been kind of CTFO on Permission Slip. We're just like giving it its time and space. But we're going to be talking about it a lot more in the next few weeks. And our goal, especially, especially, is to make sure everybody is aware that ticket prices go up on July 17th. So you want to grab them now. Use the money that you save there, join us for some of the VIP stuff. We even have some really fun things we haven't announced yet that you're going to want to stay in the know on. So exciting.

Go team!

I'm sorry, I, I get excited and I pound the table and like everything shakes. Hey Sally, cheers!

No, it's official, you're awesome.

Oh, thank you. Um, Tall Trellis Brew Company. All right, I love you, you're awesome. Have a great day, everybody.

Awesome.

Have a chill day. Go have a chill day, would you please? All right, just go be chill. All right, bye, Gators. Bye-bye.