When anxiety spikes, self-trust means acting on evidence of past capability, not waiting to feel confident. Use the evidence review: what have you handled before, even imperfectly? What would you tell a friend in your position? Build a self-trust stockpile by recording proof of what you can do.
Chapters
Hey everybody, we are at part 3 of your self-trust versus confidence series. Let's talk about how self-trust actually works when you need it the most. Picture this: you have a big presentation tomorrow. Maybe you're about to launch something important out into the world. Maybe you need to have a difficult conversation with the boss or an employee, and you're like, I'm just not feeling it. Confidence would say, "I don't feel ready. What if I mess this up? I should wait until I feel more prepared because if I'm not confident, I can't do it." And self-trust says, "You know what? I have given presentations before and it's been fine. I have launched things. They weren't perfect, but I've learned from them and I've made this better. I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm willing to put myself out there and learn again." I can survive this as well. You see the difference? One is based on feelings. The other is based on evidence that you can grow and learn and survive and thrive. Ultimately, it helps you, as I say, show up anyway. Here is my favorite technique for accessing self-trust when you're feeling that self-doubt spiral. Or especially anxious. I call it the evidence review. When you're facing something scary, your heart is pounding, the self-doubt spiral is taking hold, and all of the BS thoughts are swarming in your head. I don't know, I want to, but I want to, but I want you to ask yourself 3 things. Number 1, what evidence do I have that I can handle this situation or challenging situations at all? What have I done in the past in a challenging situation? Second question: when have I done something similar to this before? Even if it didn't go perfectly, even if it didn't go exactly how you wanted to, did you do it? Did you survive? You did. Then you can do this. And the third question is: what would I tell a friend who had my exact background and experience before they were heading into this moment? What would you tell them? What advice, what encouragement would you tell them? You've got to remind yourself, I may not feel confident or ready, but there's evidence that I'm capable and I'm going to show up anyway. I'm going to take action despite these fleeting feelings or bullshit thoughts. Here's what I want you to remember. Self-trust isn't about being fearless. Oh my gosh, absolutely not. It's about showing up anyway, taking action despite your fear. It's about walking into the unknown, unpredictable, improvised experience that we call life and trusting that you can figure it out as you go, that you get to be a human in this experience. You have to be bulletproof on this. You get to show up in public as you and try because you can, because you have the evidence and you have the capabilities. You have everything that you need to take the next brave step with no guarantees about what's going to happen. Here is your assignment. I want you to use that self-trust stockpile, start collecting evidence of your capability. I want you to start collecting it. There's some initial really important questions on the self-trust stockpile that's gonna help establish this foundation for yourself and remind yourself of some important things. And then there's an opportunity on the self-trust stockpile for you to be able to take note. I did this brave thing to start to build the evidence to remind yourself that you can lean on your self-trust. And if you don't, if you haven't done it before, you can step out there and try it, and you'll learn. Learning is the goal. You've got this, not because you feel confident, but because you are building unshakable self-trust. And go make some brave moves. You got this. I believe in you. High fives. I gotta go. I'm late. 4 minutes late. Always 4 minutes late. Subscribe so we can do more of this.
