Money Questions to Ask Your Partner BEFORE you get married 💲💍

Hello, divas. In this video, we're talking about the five money questions you want to ask before getting married. This is dating and relationship expert Sami Wunder. And I help professional, successful women find and keep amazing romantic love. Now here's the thing. Money is a big topic and it is a topic of conflict for so many couples inside relationships. This is why it is so important that you ask these five money questions before marriage and before saying yes to a proposal. Oh, and before I forget, don't forget to like this video. Subscribe to my channel and hit the bell icon so that every time my channel gives you new content, you get a notification. So the first money question to ask your partner before getting married question is, how much debt do you have? It's really important to know when you are getting into a legal arrangement like a marriage, how much debt does your partner owe? Because what usually happens in most countries is that when you're married, you know, debt becomes a liability that two partners share. And so it is so important that your partner is transparent about the amount of debt he owes. And the same goes for you. If you owe debt or you have debt, it's recommended that you reveal that to your to be fiance to your to be husband. I want to make sure I am making it clear that I am not giving a moral judgment on debt. There is good debt, the kind where, you know, you take credits and it really helps you come forward in life. It creates more assets in your life. And then there is bad debt, which is basically consumeristic debt, which doesn't really create future value. So this is not a moral judgment on debt. This is about understanding the principle of transparency and two people being honest to each other before they agree to get married and come together. Now, I do want to share the example of one of my clients, let's just call her Monica. That's to protect her privacy. But she was shocked when after her engagement, she found out that her fiance had like debt over $200,000 and over 60 grand, credit card debt and student loans. And all of this he had not mentioned to her before they got engaged, even though she had explicitly asked him, you know, is there anything I need to know about, you know, your money situation? And he had said to her, no, everything's fine. So this came as a huge red flag. It was a huge heartbreak for her. And again, it's not about the debt, it's about the transparency, which is so important. And I want to insist upon that here. The second money question you want to ask before getting married is do you have any financial liabilities and commitments that will continue after we get married. So a lot of the times, you know, my clients, they tend to be, you know, successful professional women. And if they're in their mid-30s or mid-40s, you know, they meet men sometimes who have a past, which means maybe liabilities and financial commitments to an ex wife towards children, towards providing college and university for the kids. The value that I am really trying to insist upon is the value of transparency. Because if a woman is not aware of what she's getting into, she's being deprived of her right to make a free choice. And that is what we want to avoid. We want to be able for you to make a free choice. Because for some women, it's not a problem. You know, the women who make a lot of money, that a man is committed to paying off college for their, for his children, or a man has some kind of, you know, financial commitment towards his kids, it's not a problem. It doesn't affect their economy. And, you know, there's a great relationship there and it wouldn't bother her. And so there could also be another case where a woman has a very tight boundary around how this doesn't work for her and how she doesn't want to be with a person who has these kind of running financial commitments for the rest of his life. So this is not about good or bad. This is about us women being able to make our free choices. You want to be able to know what you're getting into before you get into it. The third money question you want to ask before getting married, before saying yes to a proposal, is who will be in charge of paying the bills and in what proportion. Now this is where it gets really interesting. And this is where a lot of our clients ask us for help, because this is about deciding on a financial model that works for your family. Okay? And this is not a cookie cutter approach that you can take, because every household is different. Every man, woman, money dynamics are different. Sometimes women are out earning men, sometimes the men are out earning the women. There are so many permutations and combinations that can happen here. I'm very happy to share that I have a fantastic advanced course called Men and Money where I actually show you the kind of different financial models that are available to all kinds of women. Whether you're making minimum wages and you have a man who's making much more than you, or you have, you're a primary breadwinner, you know, you're a C suite woman, you're a high level executive, a Leader, you know, what kind of financial models are available to you. So I'm very happy to, you know, discuss these financial models in detail inside the program. So do check it out. You will find the link to Men and Money in the description below this video. But the point I'm making here is that you need to have clarity around what kind of financial arrangement the two of you are going to enter into. And this means who's going to be in charge of paying the big bills? Who's going to be in charge of the groceries, the rent, the mortgage, the car, the house and the dates and you know, the trips, the luxuries? Who's going to provide that? So being able to have this open conversation before saying yes is, is my recommendation. I also want to say that money is something that evolves. And I talk about this in the Men and Money program again, you know, because a woman who finds herself in a scenario where she's not making a lot of money and her man is the main provider may in a few years find herself out earning her man. And so our situation with money is ever evolving. And what is so important is to be able to talk about money with our partners. Okay. I also talk about this in detail inside the Men and Money course. Like it's so, so important to be able to have open, non triggered, clear conversations about money with our partners. Because otherwise when we have shame, guilt, resistance around speaking freely about money, what it usually ends up doing is, you know, creating conflict later on, which is what you want to avoid. That's why you want to be upfront about money. I'm always very open about my life. I, you know, when I married my husband, he was the main provider. I was very happy with that arrangement. And then I, you know, found my gift and I, you know, opened my own company. I ditched my career in economics and public policy and became a love coach for high achieving women. And I out earned my husband. And it didn't start this way. I didn't start with the intention of, you know, out earning my husband. But because I run an online company and because, you know, women love our digital programs and they go to my website, SammyWonder.com and buy it overnight when I'm sleeping. There's just no way a good, even a really great job in Germany could compete with this kind of an online business. You know, I want to encourage women to not be afraid that if they are successful and they start to out earn their husbands, the relationship is going to fall apart or the romance is going to die because it's simply not true. And I'm so proud to share that. Even though I've had my own bumps and triggers on the journey to becoming, you know, a woman who is out earning her husband, and I've had to do a lot of inner work, I am happy to share that. You know, the connection between me and my man, you know, it gets stronger and stronger every day. And I really want more women to believe that this is possible for them, that we don't have to choose between love and success and that we get to have both. We get to make lots of money. We get to help lots of people in the world. We get to do our live our gifts and do a great service in the world. And at home, we still get to be loved by our partners. For those of you who want to have further dialogue about me with money men and money is the course you want to sign up for. And you'll find the link in the description below. Money Question number four that you want to ask your partner before getting married is how much savings do you have? Do you have retirement plans? And what about inheritance? Oh, now we're getting into like, big things because in order for somebody to share this kind of information, it's very private information, they have to trust you, and you have to trust them for you to release this information to them. And yet, if you're getting into something like a marriage, you know, a long term commitment of love and trust, then it is my recommendation that you put all your cards on the table, that he puts his cards on the table as well. Here's the thing. This is also a great time to talk about prenup agreements. So many times my clients come to me, you know, we help them attract a great relationship. These are women, you know, they're, they're, they're top level executives. They are really high up in the career ladder and they've already created a lot of wealth and they feel guilty about, oh my God, I want a prenup. Because what if this doesn't work out? And so my recommendation is always to be honest with yourself. Do not judge yourself. Do not feel guilty. If you feel like a prenup is what makes you feel safe with your partner when it comes to having that money conversation. Now question number five is what are your values when it comes to money? This is really important. And even though it's an abstract question, I think it's really helpful when couples come together and they're able to say, you know, I really value being able to spend money on traveling and Personal development, you know, my private life adventures and, I don't know, handbags. Whatever it is, don't judge yourself. I think this is the time to be honest with each other. You know, just being able to see that, you know, am I on the same plane with this person? Are we on the same page? For the most part. Because what you will see is that money is a loaded topic and we all have our own beliefs and ideas about, you know, where should money be spent? How should money be earned? And what is important at this level is to be able to have an honest conversation and to discuss our values without judgment. So ask that question with an open mind and be willing to hear what your partner has to say when you ask them about, what are your values around money? How do you like to make money? How do you like to spend money? What is important to you when it comes to money? And then just hear them out, listen out, because I think it's gonna really give you a good idea into the money mindset of your partner and including yourself. Those are my five money questions you want to ask your partner before getting married. I hope this was helpful. And as I said, I am very excited to share that. You don't have to stop here if you want to go deeper into the topic of money and really address, you know, how you want to organize money, how you want to address money with your man. I have an advanced course called Men and Money that you can find the link to in the description below. And right now, there's an amazing offer on men and Money. So right now, not later, and is the best time to sign up for Men and Money. So inside Men and Money, I show you in training number one, what does it look like to have a healthy relationship with money in your partnership? So I give you what I call the healthy money blueprint. How should both partners be talking about money? How should both partners be engaging with money? And what is a good and healthy habit to maintain inside your relationship when it comes to your money conversations? I also give you the blueprint of what a dysfunctional relationship looks like with money. So this looks like me listing out the four elements that I believe bring dysfunction and unhappiness and dissatisfaction in our conversations with our partners when it comes to money. Now in training number two, we're gonna give you the financial models for all women at all income levels. So we're talking about women who are at minimum wages. We're talking about women who are C suite and executive, you know, leaders making a lot of money, being the primary breadwinners and we're talking about all the women in the middle who are, you know, making far more than minimum wages but are not making so much more money that they're out earning their partners. So I'm going to be giving you the financial models for each of these camps of women. I truly believe that each of these camps of women have something we can all learn from when it comes to also maintaining romance and polarity in the relationship, which is also something I'm going to talk about. Training number three of the program, Men and Money. We will be talking about all things. How do you want to relate with dating when it comes to money? And, you know, regardless of what your income level is? I have certain principles that I believe all women should follow when it comes to money, especially in early dating. I'm also going to be talking about my favorite money deal breakers, where I believe, like, if you, you know, betrayal happens, then it's really a red flag that all women should know and, you know, be conscious of, aware of. And finally, I will also give you my golden principles, the wunder principles for having a happy and balanced relationship with money when it comes to your partnership. So that's men and money, and it's enrolling right now. I would love to invite you in. I think there's not enough conversation about money when it comes to our romantic relationships. And I truly wish that when I was climbing up the ladder of success, there was some woman who taught, who would teach me how to do money and who would teach me how to, you know, deal with money inside my romantic relationships. But you don't have to go through that because I'm here for you and I'm going to share with you all my learned and lived experiences and share with you all the wisdom you need to have while making more money, having a great relationship and feeling safe, being successful, and being loved. Come join me in Men and Money. I am so excited to welcome you. Lots of love.