030: A Journey from Self Doubt to 1000 Subscribers

So many of us carry self-doubt around like baggage, baggage that weighs us down and keeps us from moving forward. On today's episode, you're going to meet Lo and you're going to hear about her incredible journey from self-doubt to 1,000 subscribers. Come join us.

Welcome to the Launch Your Box podcast with weekly tips, tricks, and strategies to start, launch, and grow your subscription box. Now here's your host, Sarah Williams.

We are back with the podcast. I am with Lo Hickson from Passion and Growth, and there's so much to really unpack with Lo's story. And there's, there's a personal journey here and there's also professional journey here. And so we're going to start by just unpacking all of it. I'm so excited to have her on the podcast today. Lo, why don't you just say hi to everybody real quick?

Hi, I'm so excited to be here. And Sarah, thank you so much for inviting me.

You guys are going to love this. And I feel like if you're not somewhere where you can just like go on a walk, or if you're in your car, or however you're listening to this, you're just going to want to soak this in. So, so get away from doing all the busy work and just go for a walk as you listen to this one, because Lo's story starts at a very young age, and we're going to start there. And I really want Lo, I really want you to share with them kind of your journey in the beginning, and then we're going to take it through the different steps of your life, and then we're going to tell them how you ended up with 1,000 subscribers. So why don't you take it away and let's just start in the beginning?

Okay, um, there is a lot here, so I'm excited for everyone who's listening, and I'm excited to share my journey. So it really does— my journey starts from infancy, from when I was the baby. Um, I was born and 2 weeks After I was born, my parents noticed this tiny little spot that was growing on my cheek, and it just got bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And before we knew it, I had this, like, very large— took up half the side of my face— tumor that was life-threatening. And at the time, very few physicians, like, knew how to treat this. And so I was very young, my parents were young and trying to figure out how to take care of their baby. And at 3 months old, they found a surgeon surgeon, a physician in Florida who could treat this tumor. And so at the time I was living in Tennessee with my family. They flew me down for emergency surgery at 3 months old. I had surgery and at 3 months old I was all over the headlines of every Florida paper, every Tennessee paper. And it was talking about this like new surgery, which they used a laser beam basically to penetrate the tumor and stop the growth. And I was just blasted everywhere. Like, I was just on every newspaper. Everybody wanted to know and meet this baby who, you know, had this surgery. And it was like one of two physicians at the time who knew how to perform this. And so from a very young age, I felt like that was my, my story. My story was written, I feel like, before I could even talk. Like, I was this baby who had this tumor, who had surgery, and had a very obvious, like, facial like deformity from a very young age. And so that was the very beginning of my, like, kind of reconstructive facial surgeries. So from that age on, from 3 months all the way until actually I was like 21, every year, sometimes multiple times a year, I was having like major reconstructive surgery. And so in the beginning, a lot of it was just still removing the tumor and they would remove part of it. They would have to wait for— I mean, I was growing. I was an infant and growing into a toddler and then a child and so much growth was happening. And so they could only do pieces at a time and also they could reconstruct something, but then they would tell me and tell my parents, we're going to have to do this again in 6 months, a year. It's going to have to continue because every time her face changes, things are shifting and what we did is not going to stay that way. And so—

It was never ending.

It was never-ending. I got in this cycle of just, okay, it's my time, let's go. Um, we would— and we had to drive. This was not a place that was near us, so we would have to drive to like Cincinnati, Ohio. I would go and I would have these surgeries. I would be in the hospital. I would miss school. I mean, I was always kind of like the kid that was missing school, was having surgery. There was always— I was always kind of something to like stare at. And, and, you know, kids, like, kids are curious, so that's just our nature. And when you look different. That's just kind of to be expected.

Um, and I'm sure that was hard for you. I mean, I know— I mean, I, I feel I have a 13-year-old daughter, and that, you know, it's like that age is just the hardest. And even younger than that, like, I think that period of like going through, I don't know, about 4th grade through high school is like, God, that's like most of your like childhood right there. And it's just, it's so hard. It's so hard for girls too. So I can't even imagine like dealing with this constant changing thing going on, you know, with all the surgeries and, and as everything's changing with that. And I, so I can't imagine what you're dealing with as a young, as a young woman, as a young girl.

Yeah, I think it brought upon a lot of self-doubt, um, and I, I think without realizing it, it brought on this belief that like the way I looked was not good enough. I mean, I was having like major reconstructive surgeries all the time. And so it brought on this like, well, the way you look is not good enough, so let's fix it. And oh, it's a year later, so things have looked different. So let's fix that again. Oh, and now like we've removed some of the scarring. So now let's try to lift your nose back up and lift your mouth back up where, you know, because when my face was developing, this tumor just like totally destroyed everything. And so my eyesight was you know, hindered. So I really— that eyesight in my right eye— I was a kid walking around with an eye patch. I mean, like, how many— like, like, there's just like things after thing that was just like, how many more things can like this poor little girl have to deal with? Like, not only do I have just like this giant like scar and like surgery and tumor, now I'm in an eye patch and like a lot of glasses. And like, so it was just this constant belief in myself that like, I'm not good enough. I have to change myself to look as— to be a certain way. We're always trying to attain a level of of, I don't know, like what's the end point. And so that was kind of the message I, I was telling myself. And it was really hard, especially when I got to like high school. Um, I very vividly remember having like body image issues and I struggled a lot with, I think not only the way, um, like me looking different, like my facial features, but then thinking that the rest of me had to change. And so I struggled a lot. Um, I was in a lot of sports and very physical, but I always thought that I needed to look different. I needed to change the way my body looked. And so that translated even when I was older, I went to college and still holding onto this belief that like, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I need to change. And so finally, I think the last surgery I had, I was actually 21 years old and I reached a point where I was just like, when does this end? Like at what point are we just gonna be okay with the fact that like, yes, I have a scar on my face and we have now removed like all the tumor. There's now no danger of that coming back. And like now at what point, like, are we just going to keep doing reconstructive surgery? And like, there's no end point. And so I finally, like, I had a surgery scheduled. I was 21 and I finally, I was like, I'm not doing it. I can't do it. I can't.

You'd had enough.

I can't go through it. I had enough at this point. I'd had over 20 surgeries in my life. I was like, I'm not missing school again. I'm not going through the recovery phase of this again. I was like, I can't, I can't do it. I'm not, I'm not doing it. And I just, I stopped. That was kind of a line in the sand that I drew that I was like, enough's enough. I've personally been through a lot with this. I am ready to start just like accepting that this is okay. It's a part of me. I've been through a lot and there's, there's a new journey that has to start here. But, um, but even after that, go ahead.

And that journey took you to, you were a nurse, right? That was your career path. You just, you had been, gosh, you'd been in a hospital enough. You knew that, um, you wanted to be a part of that. Right. And so So you took this path of being a nurse and then like, what happens then? So you're not a nurse now, right? You're not. So tell me this journey of finding this career, this amazing career of yours. Um, you get to the point where you say, okay, enough is enough. People leave my face alone. It is what it is. I'm just who I am. And we're not going to continue to try to change that. So you just came to this point of self-acceptance. And I think that, um, It's hard for people whether they've gone— like, no one's gone through that trauma, you know, like whether they've gone through something traumatic like this or just everyday life, just every day. Women, uh, more than anyone constantly have self-doubt. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not young enough. I'm not skinny enough. I'm not tan enough. Like all those things that we tell ourselves, aside from you having gone through 20 surgeries, that's in itself yourself is completely, you know, it's completely different. But we just tell ourselves these things all the time. And at what point do we say, you know what, I am who I am and you're gonna love me or hate me? Like, there's, there's this line that we have to draw in the sand with ourselves as we tell ourselves we're not good enough constantly. You finally got to that point and you said, you know what, I'm done. This is who I am and I'm gonna accept that. And then let's talk about how things how things went from there.

So it— from the time that I kind of did draw that line and saying that was like, I'm done with surgery, it still— it took a long time from me actually to accept myself. And everything you just said is 100% true and exactly why, once you get into— I started my business. But I struggled. So from that moment when I was like 21 and I was like, yes, like, I'm done with all this, you're, you're absolutely correct. Because I had spent so much time in the hospitals and it was just like it seems second nature to me to be around nurses, doctors, all that. I ended up becoming a nurse. I worked in the ER, loved taking care of like other people. And throughout probably '21 to '28, there was a lot that happened in my personal journey as well. I mean, actually, I got married, I got divorced. I— there was a lot of decisions I made that I was a big people pleaser. I very much wanted to make everybody else happy. I think because of so much of like my struggles and self-doubt and just media alone telling us that we are not enough, I didn't take care of myself really at all. I put everybody else's needs first. I went to work and put everyone else's needs first. And I just realized like over the years that I was like, man, like I am full of self-doubt. Like the, the thoughts going through my head are very negative. I am telling myself that just You know, kind of the things you've, you've listed off, like I'm not pretty enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not a good enough nurse. Like anything you could think of, it was just like, I'm not enough. And it's just everywhere you look, you know, on social media, on commercials, everything is telling us like, you need to lose weight. You need to do this. You need to look a certain way. You need to get a facelift. You need to have Botox.

You need to have lip implants. You need all these things. Yes.

And it's like, whoa, like, where do, where do we just like learn to just like be ourselves and like love who that is? And so I noticed within myself that I was struggling a lot with self-acceptance and like body acceptance. And I was struggling a lot with having anxiety as well. I, you know, you tell yourself so much you're not enough, you start to, it can just lead to a lot of anxiety. And so, um, after a lot of feeling like that and feeling not enough and just I hit a point in my late 20s where I just, I got tired of feeling like I wasn't enough. I got tired of feeling that who I was, I, that I couldn't show up fully as myself, that I had to not pretend to be someone else, but just like hide parts of me away. Because if I showed like the real me, or if I told someone that, you know, sometimes on a daily basis, like I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see. I was like, if I tell someone that they're going to think I'm crazy. And so I finally, you know, around like 28, was like, man, I am so sick of this. I was sick of being in unhealthy relationships. Um, I pushed any like, you know, personal relationship, especially, you know, with a partner or whoever I was dating, whatever. I pushed people away because I was like, I, I can't— I couldn't accept their love because in my head I was telling myself this story of like, I don't know, I don't know how you can love me. Look at me like I'm broken.

You didn't love yourself, so how could anyone else love you when you couldn't even love yourself?

Exactly. And it was— that was a hard realization. But, um, I, I kind of had a coming to Jesus myself and was like, look, like, what's going on here? What do we have to do to work through some of these things? And I, I realized that I stuffed a lot of my emotions just down. I just stuffed them. It was like, oh, like, here's a painful feeling or thought, or here's a bad memory, or here's something triggering. Let's just like stuff that as far down as we can and like not actually have to process it. And I realized that that's where I needed to start. And I started like journaling and I started just like reading books about like— I don't really know what personal development was. I didn't really know that term, but I started reading books that in turn, like, that's what it was talking about, was like shifting your mindset and changing the way you think about things and using positive affirmations. And I think the big eye-opener for me in the beginning was journaling. My very first journal entry was a letter to myself. And I wrote this letter and I was, I was very scared to write it, but I wrote it just like open and honest. And I was like, dear Lo, and just like wrote all these things. And by the end of it, I mean, I was crying, there was pages written. And at the end of it, I was like, wow, like I've been holding on to a lot. There's a lot to unpack in this like letter. And that's where I really like kicked my personal growth journey off. And I started then becoming kind of like obsessed with like, you know, learning about the mindset and how we can shift how we're thinking about ourselves. And also unlearning all the, the beliefs that were never mine to begin with. All these beliefs that I'm not good enough or that all the crap you're carrying on this backpack full of anchors that's just weighing you down.

It's like you just carry around this crap all the time. And it's, and it's stuff that people tell us, you know, about ourselves. It's stuff that we tell ourselves. And it's just, it keeps piling up and your backpack just becomes full of all these anchors and you're just dragging it around and it's just weighing you down every step of the way.

Yep. That's, that's exactly perfect. And you know, you start to realize like how many beliefs were never yours to begin with in the first place. You've just, you've just, yeah, you've taken all of them, added them to your backpack and before you know it, you can't even move. And so that was really what led me to my business as well. So after a few years of me on my personal growth journey, going from this place of full of self-doubt, low self-confidence, like not believing in myself at all, not thinking that I could really ever achieve any of the dreams that like I'd set out for myself or that I thought about. And my limiting factor that was like, oh, well, like that's only for like pretty people, or that's only for like rich people, or that's stuff that's just not true.

Right.

And after a few years, of really just working on myself. I'll never forget the moment I was standing in my kitchen. I had some friends in the kitchen and I had this moment where I sat there and I looked at them and I said, I'm made for more. I don't know what that looks like. I was like, but I know that I'm put here to do more than what I've been doing. I was like, I have struggled with so much and like all of us have, we all have our struggles and our trauma and the things that are holding us back. And I was like, I think I can make a difference though, if I start talking and just, I know how alone my journey felt. And I know that I felt, you know, quote crazy when I was like, I have all these like negative thoughts about myself. I felt so vulnerable and scared to share that. I was like, but if I start sharing that, if I can start showing other women that they're not alone, this is common. And it, you can change a lot of that behavior. Um, a lot of this learned behavior we've acquired, if we just can just like bring awareness to it and be open about it. And so So that was at the beginning of 2019. And I did, I did not know what was in store for me, but so that was kind of the thought floating around. So that was, yeah, January of 2019. I remember that. And so I had this thought that I was like, I'm going to do something. I don't know what it looks like. I don't know if this involves like writing blogs or speaking and like, spoiler, I don't like public speaking. So don't ask me why.

Let's cross that one off the list. Right.

Yeah. Like cross, like it's, I've done it now, but it is not something, um, that I, I still really don't love it, but we're working through it. And so I didn't know what this would look like, and so I kind of threw a bunch of ideas around. Nothing really felt right. Months passed, summertime came, um, and then one— it was in September, it was fall— some friends and I, we headed to— I don't know if you've been to Fredericksburg, but it's like our wine country here in Texas. And so We're in Fredericksburg, we're drinking some like sparkling wine, and I remember just like, it's like a peaceful moment, we're overlooking the vineyard. And I was, I just had this idea. I had just gotten one of my subscription box that I personally subscribe to. I had just gotten it in the mail a few days before, and I always loved that experience of I got something just for me. It's a present, it's a gift. Like, this is, this is my time to open this and see what's in it. And so I'm sitting there and then I looked at them and I was like, you guys, like, what if I combine a subscription box and like personal growth, like self-care, self-love, like it's genius. And they kind of look at me and they're like, yeah. Okay. Okay.

Lo, sure it is. Keep drinking your wine, Lo.

Go ahead and finish that glass and see what other crazy ideas you come up with. And I was like, this is This is gold. I struck gold here. And so I go home and I search and I Google. I was like, well, how do you start a subscription box? Or how do you start a business in general?

Like, again, you're not a business owner. Yeah, exactly. You're taking care of patients all day. You're not a business owner. Now you got to figure out how to buy products, how to package products, how to ship products, how to sell products. Like you've got to figure the whole thing out. Right.

The whole kit and caboodle. And I mean, I was, I had no clue what I was in for. No clue. I was like, I have this great idea. So I'm going to come home every day from my nursing job and I'm going to work on this. And I took a course that laid out foundations for it and it was fantastic. Thank goodness there's leaders, you know, like you now in the community to help people like me, like start. Cause I mean, I had no idea. And so this was in September of 2019. And so I, the first thing I did was like, Create a business name, open bank accounts. And then yeah, now I'm like, well, I gotta, I gotta market. How do you, how do you market? That's, this is, you gotta, I gotta write emails. What do you mean? What do I talk about? Like, it's just like one thing after another, but I'm like, cool. Okay. I've never done this. I'm gonna figure it out. Yeah.

I, I love that spirit too, because I think when you go into it blind, like you did, like not knowing what was about to unfold for you, I, I think you learned, okay. I, I gotta have an email list and I gotta write emails. Okay, do it. But you don't know that there's more after that. And there's more after that. If you would see the whole pile of things that you have to do to run a business, you probably would be like, yeah, no, I'm out. I'll just go be a nurse. But if you only see it a little bit at a time, it seems more doable. And you're like, okay, well, I can do that next. And I can do that next. And so you take it in little bitty chunks instead of like this big giant undertaking that people sometimes see. So I love that you kind of went in it not knowing what to expect. So as something kept coming, towards you. You're like, okay, well, that's just one more thing I have to do. I can do that. I can do that. I love that attitude. And so you launched a subscription box called Passion and Growth. And what is in these boxes?

Yes. So, um, yeah, I came up with the name. That was, that was also a fun journey coming up with the name. That's harder than it sounds. Um, but I came up with Passion and Growth because it's kind of a combination of my passion to help women grow. And so that's where my name actually came from. And so included in every box— so it's a monthly surprise box, and every month has a featured book, and then there's 3 to 4 other lifestyle, self-care, accessories, anything to really to make a woman feel like beautiful, empowered, loved, and loved. And so every month has a theme. So I can use our— this month's box, for example, so July, our theme was confidence, and I picked that because summertime is a hard time to be confident. We're all self-conscious about like being in swimsuits and shorts and tank tops, and sometimes we sacrifice like having fun because we're afraid of like people's perception of us, or we're uncomfortable with how we look or feel. And so I specifically chose that theme for this because it's like, you know, like have fun, make the memories, that's all that matters. And so This month had a book titled Show Up Confident. We had a Crush Your Goals card deck, and so it was a really cool deck of like 40 cards with a stand that like each day you can flip and it gives you like new like motivation and encouragement. We had aloe gel because it is summertime, so we want to protect our skin. We had like a set of two notebooks. We like to focus a lot on like creating affirmations and journaling things to really grow, so we put a set of two notebooks to journal. And then we had a hat that said, I am enough. And so it was a custom-made hat to remind us, like, when you're at the beach or you're at the pool, um, that you are enough. So that was this month, and it was, it was so well received. So it was such a good box. But each month has a different variation of just like motivational encouragement, self-care, and reminders that you are and always were enough.

Awesome. So let's, let's unpack this a little bit. We've talked about your personal journey. Now let's talk about your subscription box journey for a little bit. So we started this about 18 months ago, is that correct? And you started month 1 with 75 subscribers. And let's just take a minute because that's a big deal. Um, 75 subscribers in month 1, that's a big deal. And so Whenever you start off, whether you start with 10 subscribers or 75 subscribers, those first people that maybe don't really know what you're up to or what you're doing, those are the people that believe in you the most, and they're all in, and they typically are your subscribers for a very long time. But 18 months has been a journey with this box. So let's talk about kind of the stages you've gone through with this box. You started with 75, you ran it on an open subscription model. Correct.

Correct.

And then you had steady growth over these last 18 months, right? Let's talk about kind of, did you plateau at all?

So we can go back to talking about this first month as well, because I have a lot of people that ask me, we just had this conversation. I don't know if it was in your group or maybe somebody was asking like, how many did you start with? And so that was my response of like, oh, I started with 75. I had, my goal was 100, but keep in mind, I set this goal of 100 because I had no clue what I was getting into. That was an arbitrary number that I was like, 100 sounds good. It's an even number. Like, sure. There was no thought behind that. So when I tell people this, I'm like, but you don't have to do what I did. Like, if you are already a business owner and you have like numbers and goals of like, you do what's best for you because I did this out of just zero lack of knowledge. And so I picked 100, sold 75, but that 75 wasn't like super easy to come by either. So I did a launch to people on my a waitlist who had been waiting for me to release it. I did that at the very end of December, like December 2019. And so I want to say like 15 to 20 people joined from that. And then I launched to the public. And you talked about this just the other day in one of your lives, like, oh, I build it and they will come.

Yeah.

This is such a good idea. Like, this is great. So many women need this. So like, they're just going to come, right? And they don't. So I had to figure out I think I was probably like a week into January and I was like just looking at how things were going and I was like, okay, I have like 15 to 20 people. Most of those people were from people who had been waiting, who were all in on this box already. And I was like, and now it's been pretty silent. So how am I going to get new people? So we added the— I decided, okay, like I think I should do paid advertising. So I took a course that was like an hour long, a basic training. I was like, here's how we start a Facebook ad. And then I started it and I tested it and that's how I got the rest of my subscribers. And so I like to be very transparent with that, that it wasn't because like people— I had a huge list or a huge audience or any of that. It's just I had to get scrappy. And I knew in my head, I was like, well, I've sold 20, and homegirl over here didn't know anything about business and bought 100 products. So I've got to sell close to 100 products. So how am I going to do that? And so I started ads, and that has really amplified my journey. So from that first month I sold 75. My second month, because I had to buy products at like the beginning of, you know, January, I'd only sold 20 boxes at this point. So I was like, oh, well, let me— okay, 100 was a lofty goal. Let me scale back to 85. Okay. Well, by the time I finished January, I had sold 75. So now, okay, now you've only got a little bit of growth there, right?

And it's okay because we don't know any better, right? We don't know any better.

Yeah. You learn by doing.

Yeah, you do.

So I did that and I was sold out in like the first week of February, my second month. And I was like, okay, well, I think I need to open up more spots for the next month. And so I did that for March. I think I jumped up to like, okay, I'll have 150. And then the pandemic hit and I was like, oh my gosh, we're like, what's going on? Is this going to kill my business? I just got started. What does this mean? Are people still going to be buying? And so I still ended up selling that 150, but then I got nervous for the next few months. So the next few months I kind of backed off and didn't have as much spots, but then I continued selling out. And so I think in April I maybe had like 200, and then May I bumped it up, I think, to 300. So like, I saw though that people were still buying even through this pandemic. And actually sales kind of increased, I noticed, because people were home and they were online shopping and there was nothing else to do. And then what better than to do some like personal development and personal growth and self-care? So that became like amplified. So then before I knew it, like it was gaining traction and getting traction and getting traction. And I think I ended my fourth month. Yeah. My fourth month, my mailbox, I think we had 350 people. And then the summertime was, I didn't know what to expect in the summer. And so I had still projecting growth in your first year is hard. Like, how do you even do it? It's so hard, especially with no business information before.

You either don't project enough or you project way too much and you're sitting on a ton of inventory like I did when I first started.

Yeah.

Um, so yeah, it's just like, shoot, I call it like darts. You're just shooting your dart at the dartboard, whatever number it lands on, that's what we're going to order for the next few months. Cause you just don't know.

You just don't know. And so over the summer, I think I still projected that same kind of growth I had seen, you know, the last few months and it was, and it was not the right move. Not that it was not the right move. I didn't know it just, but I didn't sell out like I had been, you know, you get in this habit, you're like, ooh, I'm selling out. I'm selling out.

I did the exact same thing. I'm gonna increase. I'm gonna increase, keep increasing. And you're having to buy products pretty far out when you're needing hundreds of pieces of stuff. So I was getting in about 4 months out. So I was in that same position. I was projecting like double the growth than I actually was ended up having. And I, I had one month where I was sitting on 60 extra boxes. And if that doesn't freak you out as a small business owner, because that's a lot of money sitting on my shelves right there. So I totally know how you're feeling on that one.

Yeah. And that's the same mistake I made this summer, which we'll get to that. And it's— so I think I tried to project like $475,000. I don't think I hit it. And so I came down to like $350,000 over the summer and then fall started. And so I was like, well, let me try this like $475,000 goal again. And so fall came I was able to hit it. I hit my goals pretty consistently throughout like the holiday season. And so I actually rounded out my very first year in December and I finished with 600 subscribers, which was like, whoa. Like a lot of that though was like fall amplified that a lot.

And so can we tell them, can we tell them where you were packing these 600 subscriptions to? Cause they need to know this.

In my 2-bedroom apartment in Austin, Texas.

Oh my gosh, if you guys could see the pictures, I know they're probably on your Instagram somewhere, you are packing in your apartment 600 boxes. It's amazing. Like, you're just amazing. I think that we, we get scrappy when we, when we start our own businesses and we figure things out and we do what we can with what we have, and there's nothing wrong with that. And I love that you were just— it was just normal for you to be packing 600 boxes in your kitchen of your apartment. And, um, but now you have a warehouse too. So, um, we have, we have grown. So you're at 600, holidays are done. Now we're into 2021. And just when we thought 2020 was expect the unexpected, '21 is double expect the unexpected, right? I don't think we could get worse than 2020. And if we look back at it now, I feel like 2020 was amazing compared to what 2021 is bringing us.

Yeah, it has been difficult. So, and this is why I wanted to touch on that. I use paid advertising a lot to grow my subscription. And so when I hit the 600 in December, I had already decided at this time— I mean, growing that amount, it's a lot. I mean, and, you know, I started in September with like, I don't know, maybe like 400, and then by, I mean, 3 months later was at 600. That's a lot that happened in there. Customer service was getting a lot And, um, I, I don't have— everybody else is like me personally, like customer support is hard for me. I love to provide good customer support. However, it takes a toll on me. And I, and I know that, you know, like this is— has nothing to do with me personally, it's business. However, customer support just shifts my mindset and it puts me in just not the best place. Yes. I just have to be honest with that.

And then, and it brings this kind of negative factor, like I had a lady just over the weekend, my assistant's on vacation, please come back. If you're listening, please come back. So I'm handling a lot more things than I normally handle, but I had a lady email in all caps and I'm just like, all caps, please cancel my subscription immediately.

Why are you yelling?

In all caps. And I, I, you know, I shouldn't be in charge of customer service though. And I'm not, thank gosh. But I replied, why are you emailing me in all caps? What's wrong? Here's the cancellation form. Like, and she just said, Oh, sorry. Like, hello, we're— there's people on the other side of that email. And you've got to remove that from your day-to-day. And it's something I'm really passionate about. The cancellations, the customer service, you have to remove that because one little thing, if somebody writes you an all caps email, like it can ruin your day and you cannot let that ruin your day. You got a big business you're running and I'm not going to get sideways over somebody sending me an all-caps email. But I did, I did. I let that ruin my, my, the rest of my afternoon that day. So if we can just remove that from the equation and let amazing people that it's not as personal to them, right? Like this is our baby. We built this thing from ground zero and this is our baby. And when somebody is going to send me an all-caps email, um, I, it just like ruined the rest of my afternoon. So we got to remove that from our line of sight so that we can stay focused as the visionary of company and in the positivity zone that we need to stay in to keep showing up for our customers.

I 100% agree, and I love how honest you are at that because I remember when I heard you say that for the first time, like, you made me feel so much better. So anyone who's listening that needs to hear this, like, I'm in the same boat too. It does, it gets me sideways as well, and it will make my anxiety just go through the roof and it will make me doubt everything. And I think that's okay to realize and recognize And that is why, like, after this, like, you know, getting to 600, I was like, oh, I need a customer support person like ASAP because it was, it was totally altering my just like mood for the day. And I was like, I can't do it. And that's okay. It's okay to know that there are certain parts of our business that are better handled by somebody else.

Yes.

And so I hired, um, my second team member at that time. She took over customer support and it was like a breath of fresh air. Mm-hmm. And I had already decided like, okay, we're gonna cap it, you know, leave it at like 600 for a few months.

Months.

So I had decided January, February, March, I think I opened maybe I said at 650 in January. I was like, well, let's just add 50 more people. So added that 50 more, hit 650, and then stayed at that January, February, March. Well then, I mean, again, it was like I was selling so like so quickly, like I even know you, of course you have cancellations. So it was an open model at this time. Anyone could join. So I would still have ads, but then a week or two into the month I'd have to to like turn the ads off. We're sold out. Like you can't do anymore. And so by, I guess by March I was like, okay, I'm ready to like open up more spots. Like let's do this. Like same thing, confident. We're selling out, you know, we're having to turn ads off a week or two in. So I'm sure that we can grow by like several hundred by like summertime. And so that's when I set out for this journey to 1,000, which is legitimately like what I call it, put it on a spreadsheet, had it all mapped out. Like it was just going to go smooth. Like, like butter and it did not. So, so March came, I guess I put this plan in, in, I guess I did it in like February. I sat down and mapped out this plan because March came and I was selling my April box, which that was the box that I was gonna shoot for $800. So I did that. So all of March I ramped up in a bunch of multi-channel marketing. And by the end of the month, I think it was like the last day, like legit, we hit that $800 mark and I was like, oh my gosh, we did it. We welcomed over like 200 people in that month. It was Crazy. It was awesome. It was awesome. It was incredible. And so my next goal, so April was the 8th. I wanted to hit 800. So I was like, May, I can do 900. June, I can do 1,000. And April is when all of like the iOS updates and everything went to total— just like, yeah, I was like, oh my gosh. So all of a sudden, like all this momentum, all this, like, oh, we, I mean, we had 200 people come last month and a lot of them was from advertising. So like, we should be okay getting like 100 more this month. It should be no problem. Oh my gosh. And it just went, it totally just blew up in our face, like spending, you know, tons of money, but actually not getting much quality, um, like traffic to our site. Suddenly it just, I could only keep up barely like with the people who were canceling. So then I was like, okay, well, we're not going to hit 900 this month and that's okay. All right. That's fine. Um, but keep in mind, I had already now projected 900 for that month and then 1,000, and then I was going to stay at 1,000. I had already planned to stay at 1,000 for like the next— basically the rest of the year. I had already like planned that out.

But so you were looking at an excess of 200 boxes a month for the next several months just hanging around, um, and not being sold. And that's scary.

Terrifying. Terrifying. I can't tell you the amount of times I stayed up looking at a spreadsheet and like crying, like, what am I gonna do? Because I planned all this and why did I do that to myself? And did I not learn like last summer? But the thing is like, you don't, like, you just figure it out and you learn by doing. And so we kind of went back to the drawing board of just like I did my very first month. How am I going to sell these extra boxes? Like we have to do something. And March is around the time actually that I stumbled into your world. And so I, I did your coaching week and that was really the first time, like I really I saw you in action and like your model and what you do. And how— and so I started really following and I hadn't seen anyone else do what you're doing. I had never seen someone run a subscription box on a clothes model. So when you first said it, I was like, she's crazy. Like what? I've never heard of that. And I was like, I need to find out more information about this. And so I was instantly like intrigued because I, like I said, you're the only person I've heard of that that does it on a clothes model. And so, you know, the first time I thought about it, I was like, oh no, like that wouldn't work for me. Like, that's not for me. I don't need to do that. But then like the more and more I was just like watching your videos and just like, and then like trusting you more, like trust comes with just like listening to you more and learning from you more. And the more I'm just like seeing like behind the curtain of your business. And then I did the Tribe course with you and like did those things. And the more you're like talking and I'm understanding and you're training, transparency with like sharing your journey with us of you also like projecting too much and overbuying in this. And I was like, wow, like that makes sense.

Like, and you were like, oh, that's me.

I was like, that's me. I have done that. I have, I have done that to myself. And I'm looking at, if I don't figure something out, I'm sitting on 100, 150 extra boxes. And that is when I decided to— so April didn't go super great. I mean, we didn't hit or sorry, I don't remember what month. Yeah, we didn't hit the 900. Subsequently, we did not hit the 1,000. And so last, for my June box, I was looking at an excess of like 150 boxes. And so that is really when I decided to— yeah, we're gonna have to, we're gonna have to close this baby up. So I—

so you launched a closed cart?

I launched a closed cart, and I was terrified. I didn't want to do it. Heck no. I don't want to be on camera. No, ma'am. Nope.

No, wait a minute. You told me, you told me the other day that you did your first live.

Um, no.

Well, what'd you say?

I don't know what I— Oh, I did my, I mean, it was my first like consecutive, like several, like I had done first live launch, like it was my first live launch. Yeah. I had never done that. So my first live that I actually did for my business, that was not that long ago. It was, sometime during TRIBE, I was watching it and talking about like how you, and you had, you have been saying it too. Like you say it all the time, you have to be like front-facing on your business. And so my very first live I did was not long ago, maybe a month or two ago.

Maybe that's what I'm remembering.

Yeah. So it wasn't long. So you probably saw that where I did, I was like, oh my gosh, I did my first one. And then I didn't really do much after that. I think I did a live unboxing cause I could like hear you in my voice that like they have to see you, like before you just go do a launch. And so, um, I then pretty much followed your, your plan of what you talked about. So I announced, well, first of all, actually last month in June, I got rid of my discount. So I did have a heavy discount on like 6 and 12 month subscriptions. And so that was my first plan. Um, I heard, like, I remember Stu talking about this, like, that's the best way also to get people in is if you're removing like a discounted price or it's going to get more expensive. So I decided to get rid of my discounts. I did a big push about a month ago and I was like, this, this is going away. So if you want in and you want a discount, you better get it now because it's gone. And so I got a lot of people, maybe like 20 or so people in with that. And then I had my launch plan for July, which mind you, in between when I stopped with the discount, like at the end of June, and did my launch, I moved to a whole new city. I got a warehouse. Like, so many life things were happening. And then it's like, okay, let's do a launch. And so the biggest reason I didn't want to do a launch though was I did not want to be live. And so I pushed it off further than I probably would have liked because of that fear. And then I went and listened to your podcast about how you used to also be like terrified of lives and stuff like that. And then it's like, look at you now though. I mean, you are, you're live all the time and it's a good thing. And so I was like, I just, I just have to do it. I just have to do it.

Like rip off the bandaid, just rip off the bandaid.

Yeah. I was like, I have to, I have to like mark it down and I'm gonna do it. I need to schedule these. I need to tell people I'm gonna do it. So then I actually do it. And so we announced 2 weeks before like cart closed that we had made the big announcement that this is happening, this is a change. So 2 weeks from today, you will no longer be able to join. Um, it's kind of just like, let's warm people into this idea that they're not going to be able to sign up all the time now. And so we got a, you know, quite a few people signed up during that period, like on that first day announcement, we kind of did an early bird bonus. If you subscribe like today on this first day of us announcing it, you'll get a bonus gift. So I think like Probably like 17 people signed up like from that one day in that email. And then we kind of like teased it a little bit the next week. And then this last week, so last week was my launch and we just went hard. I mean, I did a live every day. I was posting like 3 times a day. I was doing reels, like doing so many things that were like normally a little bit out of my comfort zone, but I was just like, I have to go all in. Yes. If I don't do this, I'm going to be mad at myself. And I was like, I know I can get to this 1,000. Like, I know I can do it. I just have to keep— I just have to like believe in myself and everything that I tell other people too, you know, my whole like business, just like believing in yourself and trusting yourself and doing the hard things even when you don't want to do it. And so I had to put your money where your mouth was, right?

Like you're, you're telling people to do this every day in their, in their day, in their life. And you've got to show up and do this for your business when it's big, hard, and scary for you. And I loved it. And it came down to the last day, right?

Legit the last day. So I was counting like subscribers and they were trickling in, um, you know, all, all day. But it kind of on the last day, legit, I kid you not, we would have hit it earlier, but for whatever reason on the last day of my launch, that was when like some like failed payments processed. So I was like a subscriber away and then like, boom, like I got hit with like 10 failed payments that canceled out that day. And so I was like, And I'm someone that I'm like, no, like, we're going to fall. If we're going to hit it, we are legit going to hit it. I'm not going to say like, oh, well, we would have hit it. I was like, no, we're going to hit it. And so I was like, okay, well, we got it. We can eat, we need 10 more people. And so I was watching all day. And then we hopped on the live. I did a, like a live in the morning on my last day. And I did a live in the evening. And it was exactly basically what you taught us to do, like do a live, make it casual, have some wine, just just talk. And so that's what we were doing. We were chatting. I had products out, we had wine, we were talking, and I was kind of doing like a live kind of update. We shared the names of some people who had subscribed. You were, you were right in the fact that I was getting messages throughout the week of people who did subscribe. So I was sharing some of those messages. And so I was like, when we hopped on that live, we needed 3 people to hit 1,000. And so I was like, come on. Like, I know we can do it. I know we can. And we had a giveaway announced. For our 1,000th subscriber. And so I was like, I know we can do it. Like, we just have to— let's just get on this live and give it like all of our energy. And so we got on, we talked about it, we amped it up. We had one person subscribe like 30 minutes into the live. And then, yeah, I was like, okay, so we still painful, like 30 minutes into the live and we were only one person like ahead. And I was like, oh my gosh, we still need two more people. And so, um, it literally was like at the hour mark. I kid you not. I think we started this live at 7. It was, we planned it to end around 8 and it like 7:58 when I'm like, literally I had a kind of agenda of like things to talk about. I was hitting my last talking point and I looked up and I was like, someone subscribed, someone subscribed. And I was like, you guys really need one more person, one more person. And I looked at the teammate that was like on there with me. And I was like, girl, we are going to sit here until we hit that 1,000 subscribers. Like we were going to sit here and like I know someone's going to do it.

And so like now at this point, people were tagging their friends, trying to get them to purchase, like sharing the stream, all the things that you want them to do every time you're live. But now they're, they're, they're committed with you. Like they want to see you hit this, hit this big milestone in your business. So they're like, we got to find more friends. We got to get some more subscribers here. I love it.

I love it.

And so you hit 1,000 subscribers.

So 2 minutes after that, other one came in again. I went to go look at my direct document to read my last talking point again. And I went to click over and I was like, we did it. We did it. We hit 1,000. And I like, you can see it on camera. It's so funny. I like freak out. And then I go to open my bottle of champagne. And as I'm like twisting it, I don't know, I probably like shook it up in my excitement, but like the top just like explodes off and like champagne pouring. And I was like, it's perfect. You know, it, it made sense, like why I hadn't hit it yet earlier in the day, because I was like, this was the perfect moment. And sometimes timing, like, even though you don't, you might want something to happen a little bit sooner, like it happens in its own time. And this happened, you know, a month or two after I would have liked it to, but it happened and it happened in a way too that other people could celebrate it, could enjoy it, can see it. I will forever have that memory on camera now. And I would now looking back, like I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. It pushed me to become a better business owner. It pushed me to show up in ways that I was afraid to show up before. And it showed me that doing things out of your comfort zone can lead to such good results if you just let it. And so sometimes like this is why we have these experiences to push us to be better and do better. And I'm grateful to have like mentors like you to to show us like and pave the way and give us examples of what we can do and what is possible.

And what is possible, because I want to, I want to talk about that because $1,000 is great and we can talk about that all day and that's exciting. But what does that mean for you, Lo? Like, what does it mean for you personally? And what does it mean for your business to have this recurring revenue? From 1,000 subscribers?

That's an emotional question.

It is an emotional question.

I mean, this business has allowed me to, to be my own boss. Now, I was able to leave nursing almost a year ago now. I left last September, so we're almost coming up on a year. And almost now for a year, I've been able to work for myself. I've been able to make my own schedule. I have been able to take care of my, like, personal, like self-care, like mental needs. I've been able to put myself first in a way that I haven't been able to do before. Um, what it means like for my, my, my business is I'm able to— my, I don't know, it's just so hard. Sorry. It's hard for me to like get these words out, but it's so important to me to support other women. And now my business is able to hire and like support to support other women. And not only that, but we, all of our products we purchase from other women-owned businesses. And so we get to support their businesses and the ripple effect on this is huge. And the subscribers that we impact, like the messages that we get of people saying that, like, you know, this is the highlight of my month because it reminds me that I am enough and it's going to be like, okay. And I can do hard things and I can accomplish those and that effect is just so huge. And so one day I just imagine like it's going to be so much bigger than it is now. And it's not all, you know, finances and what it can do financially. It's more like what it can do for people, what it's going to do for, you know, subscribers, like their daughters. Like people send me pictures of their subscribers and they have their daughter opening it with them. And I'm like, wow, like how— like what would that have been like for me when I was a little girl? To like have that experience of being reminded that it's okay to accept ourselves just as we are.

Yes.

And so it's— it— I'm honored and humbled and blessed to be here. And even more so, like, that 1,000 is such a huge milestone, but to me, I mean, that's 1,000 people that chose to believe in me and also believe in themselves and invest in It's— I don't take that lightly.

It's incredible. And I think that the one thing that they get to see is you have rewritten your story, right? You had this story from an infant that followed you your whole life, and you got to rewrite that story to, to what you wanted to put out in the world, what you wanted to give. And I think you're going to continue to write that story as you continue to go along this journey, and you're going to have so many amazing women that are on this journey with you because of your subscription box. And I'm just so excited for you. And I just can't wait to keep cheering you on and keep watching you just bloom into what you're meant to be. And I'm just, I'm just really excited for you. And I'm excited to get to share this story with all of our listeners, because so many times we as women, you know, you said it in our talk, but we take care of everybody else around us. And we fail to take care of ourselves. We fail to do things for ourselves that are going to help propel us forward because we are so busy doing for everybody else. And it is time that we step up and we take care of us and we take care of our future and what we want for ourselves and what lights us up. And if we stop, if we stop taking care of everybody else and just take a few minutes to take care of ourselves, we are going to be able to take care of everybody else so much better than when we were before because we are fulfilled, we are lit up, we are providers, we're taking care of other things that we didn't think we were capable of, which makes us stronger, better, uh, in every other area of our life. So I'm, I'm just grateful for you. I'm grateful for sharing your story with us today. And Lo, um, what advice would you give for someone that's listening right now and maybe they're feeling a whole bunch of self-doubt about are they worthy of having their own business? Are they capable of showing up for an audience and providing, you know, a great box for somebody. What would you say to them if they're listening right now?

Yeah, I think, I think those are very valid concerns and questions, and I think they affect all of us. But my biggest advice would be you can think of 100 reasons like why you shouldn't, but you have to hold on to the one reason why you should. What's your message? What's your why? And so what I remind myself every month is is, you know, especially with my box and the personal care niche, I remind myself that what if I'm the only thing that month that reminds them that they are worthy and they're good enough? So I would challenge you to reframe that into your area, your niche. So think about the one reason why you're doing this and what you can provide and what you're giving them, because those doubts I would love to say that they go away, but they are going to be there and they're going to show up in different ways. And you have to remember the one reason— what's the one reason that you do need to do this and you do need to create this? Because that's what's going to propel you forward and focus on that. And all you have to know how to do is the very next step. You don't have to know how to do it all. Take me, for example, zero business experience. So take one step. That's all you have to do. You do not have to know how to do everything. You'll think you'll figure it out.

Yes, I love it. Thank you, Lo. Lo, where can these ladies find you at? What's the best place to find you?

Yeah, I'm on Instagram. That's probably where I hang out the most at Passion and Growth. And then my website is www.passionandgrowth.com.

Lo, thank you so much for being here with me today and come back and listen to our episode next week. If the idea of creating a subscription box is swirling around in your head, I encourage you to head over to launchyourboxwithsarah.com, get on our waitlist, and grab some of our free downloads to help you get started. That's launchyourboxwithsarah.com.