066: Ask Sarah: How Do You Balance Everything?

This week we're starting a brand new series called Ask Sarah. I went inside my membership and said, if you could ask me anything, what would it be? Well, Mar asked me, how do you balance everything? The business, the kids, yourself? I can't wait to introduce you to Launch Your Box member Mar and deep dive into her question. Come listen.

Welcome to the Launch Your Box podcast with weekly tips, tricks, and strategies to start, launch, and grow your subscription box. Now here's your host, Sarah Williams.

All right. Welcome back to the Launch Your Box podcast. I'm excited because this is the first in our series called Ask Sarah, and I've got Mar today from the Be Still Box. Now, Mar, before we get into the Ask Sarah part, I want to know your story and I want our listeners to understand where you're at, what you do, because you do a lot of fun stuff, a lot of interesting different things. And so I want to give them a little bit of backstory. and then we're going to dive into your question for me. So why don't you just introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about the history of your business?

Totally. Hi everyone. I'm Mar and I am here in Southeast Wisconsin and I handcraft Pure Wisconsin beeswax candles and other beeswax products. And I have, uh, what I've called the Be Still Box, which is designed to help my customers either start or cultivate the practice of meditation with a little bit of a twist where all 5 senses are involved. So we have something for the smell, we have something for the scent, for touch, for, you know, obviously vision and hearing. I was able to kind of put it all together with the help of 8 other amazing makers, local artisans, who all helped me put together this beautiful box. So that's the box. And then going back a little bit of how I stumbled onto creating beeswax candles. So about 3 years ago, I had a career, I had high heels, all that good stuff. And my partner and I, um, one day just decided to go biking through the countryside, uh, of Wisconsin. This beautiful bike ride, August, uh, afternoon. And we were biking and suddenly came across this abandoned property that we could kind of like just see for sale sign. And we were both— our dream, both of ours separately before we met each other, was to live somewhere, you know, out in the field, you know, surrounded by trees and frogs. And, and we decided to kind of check it out. So we called up a realtor, and he had us out there. And immediately that day, we're like, we need to do this, we need to get this property. So we We ended up moving on it pretty quickly and we ended up purchasing it and, you know, started working on it because it was abandoned for 20 years. So as we're working on it, we decided to start bringing in some, you know, livestock on this farm. And the first thing, no one knows where it came from, whose idea it was, we decided to have bees. I don't know if you ask Jack, he will say that was my idea. I will say that was his idea. In any case, the bees showed up.

Now I don't, I don't I see bees as livestock. So you're talking about this as livestock and now you have bees. So this is such an interesting story.

Absolutely. It is actually considered livestock because you do need to take care of bees and, you know, you're not just, you know, kind of having bees and letting them be, but you actually have to take care of them and be an advocate for them and feed them and, you know, all kinds of cool things that I never knew anything about that, you know. So I started reading books, you know, and then I got bees. I did a few days of working with a commercial beekeeper just to make sure that I knew what I was doing, and off we went. So we went from 1 hive to 20 the next year. Wow. Yes, and they were my babies. That was like my hobby project, my thing to do on the farm. So I realized that 20 hives is actually really hard work, very hard physical work. You get sweaty and it's crazy, but it's amazing. Bees are amazing. I fell in love with working bees. So then, you know, I, I actually ended up trading my high heels for a beekeeper suit and rubber boots, you know. So I was working with bees and I had the honey and then a little bit of wax and I started making lip balms and lotions and things like that. And then one year for Christmas since, you know, everybody's gotten the lip balms and lotions and everything else and honey from the harvest early in the year. I was like, what else can I give my friends and family? And I decided to make my first beeswax candle. You know, I got a very cheap mold on Amazon, you know, random wick that I knew nothing about. I just was like, this is good enough, pour, done. And then suddenly I had a candle And it was beautiful. It was amazing. And then I was gifting these candles and people were lighting up. You know, there were smiles and I love the feeling of bringing some joy and some beauty into their lives. And everybody was very happy with these candles. And that's kind of how it started, you know, just this couple candles for Christmas. And here I am 2 years later with, you know, an online shop, obviously. And then, you know, like a third-party marketplace for artists where you can, you know, commission me for some, um, you know, unique pieces. And then I am in, um, 10 different brick-and-mortar stores at this point, uh, you know, offering both consignments and wholesale. And then, um, you know, just looking at kind of moving this, you know, going with the momentum, I guess, and enjoying all this growth. Um, then I decided to add that subscription box, you know, just think you kind of came across my feed randomly, you know, go, go Facebook ads. Like, this is my sign. Like, I, I don't even know why Facebook decided that I need to see an ad from you, subscription boxes, but here we are. And I was like, yep, I'm doing it. And here we are, you know.

So, okay, so I want to backtrack just a little bit because I'm so intrigued by your story. So you decided to get the bees for the honey? Was that your original plan? Like, you were gonna have the honey, you would have it for yourselves, you could sell it if you wanted to. So that was like the goal of having all the bees, right? But what happened is you kind of stumbled across making these candles, and that really turned into your legit business. Because you just said, not only do I have my own website, but I'm in like an artist market, and I'm in 10 different brick-and-mortar stores with my candles. Goals, right? And so I love that. I love how it was kind of like this happy accident that happened from one goal that turned into this whole business. So now you're thinking about— I'm, I'm magically in your Facebook feed, which I love. Let's shout out to my ads strategist right there. Um, but I'm in your feed and you're like, well, I need to turn this into a subscription box, right? Like I would love to be able to send a box and have that recurring revenue into my business every single month. And so you jumped in and you started the Be Still Box. And I think you touched on it a little bit in the beginning of how this is curated with other different artisan vendors. Tell us a little bit about your box.

Absolutely. So the box includes items from 8 other local, one not local, but she's, you know, kind of an Instagram friend, you know, who I knew that she was doing a specific thing I needed. So all these amazing women kind of agreed to this crazy idea of me doing this, basically. So, you know, I wanted to have my candles. That is the subscription part. So I make these small spiral meditation candles that actually someone else was like, you know, I use your candle every day for meditation. And I was like, oh, that's very interesting because I thought there would be something like, you know, maybe you use once in a while or something, but she's like, I use your candles every day for meditation. So, and she's like, and I have this, so I bought myself this little candle holder. So I was like, oh, that's amazing. Ding, right? So then I am looking, going, okay, so maybe I can do the candle and the little holder for the box. And I went to start, you know, I started looking for the candle holders and I can't find anything that A, would be inexpensive and B, would not be like, I wanted it to be a handcrafted box, you know, and the options, you know, it was either not handcrafted, you know, by someone I could put a face on, or like they were very expensive and it was kind of way out of my price range. And then I met— I swear it's all just, you know, a chain of these happy accidents. I made a patter in my homeschooling roundup thing that we do with the kids every Friday. And I was like, hey, could you make me something like this? And she looked and she's like, absolutely. So then I was like, oh my gosh, now we have the candle and the holder. What else can I put in there? And I was like, well, when I like meditating or spending my morning time, you know, I'm sipping tea, I have the candle, you know, can I find a tea person? Guess what I did? You know, a local tea person showed up and here she was. I was like, can you put together a tea blend? And she's like, absolutely. So here now we have a tea blend. And I was like, okay, so now I have a tea blend. I have to get, you know, a tea thing. Again, couldn't find anything handcrafted or cheap or anything. I reached out to a lady I met at a farmer's market. Can you sew me some tea bags? Yes, I can. It went one person after another. I end up asking a yoga teacher to do a recording, first write me an affirmation and then do a recording to then have on the website, you know, using They're the crystal bowls. I'm probably not saying it right. Right. It's a very specific name for them. I'm pretty sure I'm screwing it up. But she recorded that and now I have it as part of my website. So you get a little password to get into my website to that page where that recording is. So if someone wants to follow the affirmation with the yoga instructor, they can do that. So I've, I've just been able to find so many amazing women who are like, yes, I'll help you with this. You know, I have an essential oils, you know, like a little bottle in there that I found from, you know, a local aromatherapist. You know, just so many amazing things that kind of came together into this one box, and it's just worked out so nice.

So I don't know, I love how you took your candle and now you've created this entire experience for your one candle. And not only is it for that candle, but you've included all these other amazing artisans to really help you craft craft this experience for your subscriber. And as I was reading through your notes for the podcast, I love the way that you do this. So you sell them this box as a one-time box, okay, with your candle being the center of this box, and everything's curated around this candle and this experience that you're creating for them. But then you have the recurring subscription tied onto this, but it's not for all the things. It's for the one thing. It's that one thing of the month that we talk about a lot inside Launch Your Box, but you made it very easy to create a monthly subscription with candle. Every month they get another candle, right? They don't get a whole box of stuff. They get another candle. I love this. So you're creating the one experience and then you're replenishing their candle every single month and you've developed your subscription from this. And I think it's amazing. And I, and I love just the story, like the whole finding the house and buying the bees and then just lucking into this like candle idea. I think it's That's just such a great story. Now let's get into the Ask Sarah question. So when I posed this question to my group, if you could ask me one thing, let's talk about it on the podcast. You just said one, you homeschool. You are, you've got livestock. Hopefully you have more than bees at this point. Um, you're working on, you know, refinishing this house. So you've got a lot going on and that's just part of it. Go ahead and ask your question and then we'll start to break that down. Okay.

So my question is, what tips, tricks, hacks do you have to juggle it all? The kids, the household management, the business, my goodness, the self-care, you know, the time to meet friends, everything else. What are your favorite ways of fitting it all in and making it happen?

I think that, I think the first answer is you never fit it all in. And I think that we are lying to ourselves if we can sit here and say that I do it all and I am great at it. No, no one is great at all those things. And you know, Mar, that I have a pretty large business, right? Like I have a pretty large business. I have lots of employees. I also am a Coach that is very involved with my Community. And so for me, it has been a juggling act. And I think the biggest piece of advice for anybody listening that is like, I am trying to do all the things and I am trying to keep up with it. And some people, listening right now, they work a full-time job too. You're homeschooling your kids. I'm not homeschooling my kids. I'm sending them to school. But, you know, for me, it's the first thing that I needed to recognize was that I needed to hire help. And there was a long time that I just kept telling myself I couldn't hire help. I couldn't. I wasn't making enough to hire help. And honestly, I would never get over that hump of making enough. Had I not hired my first person. And it was really, really hard. And it took an act of desperation almost for me to hire that first person. I was, it was the beginning of December that year. And I had just received a huge order from a local bank for Christmas gifts for their employees. And it was like 70 or 80 hand-painted items that I, they had ordered. And it was like more money of any order that I'd ever gotten before. I was going to do it. I was going to make it happen. I was going to work on that. I was going to get 4 o'clock in the morning, I was going to make it happen. And as the day started to tick by, I kept seeing that this was not going to happen and I was panicked. And that's when I hired my first person. I need help and I need help right now. And what happened, and I wasn't even giving myself a regular paycheck at that point in my business, but what happened, I was scared. How am I going to pay this person? Right? I thought, let this be temporary. I'll pay her from the money I made from the bank and then we'll you know, January, we'll all move on. It'll be fine. It'll just be temporary. That person is still with me. Like, she's in my warehouse right now. She's my shipping and receiving manager. She's still with me 7 years later. What happened when I hired her? Not only could I give her a paycheck, but that was the time that I started getting a paycheck. What we could do together was more than 4 times of what I could do by myself. And I couldn't see it because I was in this rat race. Of trying to make enough money to be able to hire someone. I was never going to get there alone. So that would be my first piece of advice. And the other thing that I think when we say I hire help, moms tend to feel guilty about hiring help for their household. We're the mom, we should be able to do all the things. I can cook, I can clean, I can homeschool my kids, I can run a business, I can feed chickens and take care of bees? Like, no, we, we just physically can't do that. And so there's this immense amount of guilt that's put on us as a mom that says it's either shameful or I should feel guilty that someone is coming in to clean my house for me. And, and that needs to be just busted right now. Like, we should never feel guilt about helping us do something that gives us more time back to spend with our children. Right? If I am not spending my entire weekend cleaning my house every other weekend, I get my weekend back with my kids. So, that is what we have to look, we have to look at the trade-off. So, it is hiring help. Someone cleans my house. Someone did meal prep for me for a very long time just so that my family had a home-cooked meal when I came home at the end of the day, which was not going to happen if it was left up to me. So, it was a benefit I was doing for my family. I was working a lot of hours. A lot of hours in the beginning of my business. And a lot of us do. We're building something that we want to be long-term and it takes so much of our time, but we have to recognize that we can't do it all. And I think the other really important thing was like to ask for help. The kids helped me in the business a lot. There's just a lot of things that our kids can do for our businesses. Even today, they fold boxes, they pack inserts, They prep packaging. Like, I asked my kids to help me all the time and they loved it. They earned spending money and they got— we spent time together and don't feel guilty about that at all. Also, I asked my husband, hey, I am going to need you to do the laundry today because I can't get to it. I am going to need you to figure out what we are eating tonight. I don't need to make any more decisions today. So, if you can just figure out what we are going to eat, I don't care what it is. Like, you need to not be afraid. To ask for help, um, as much as you don't want to, because we're, again, we're supposed to be taking care of all those things in our minds. That's what we're here for. We're moms. That's what we do. But we can also ask for help when we need it. And I think not to be afraid of that. One thing that I wrote down as I was answering these questions was I found myself, especially in the early years of my business, working so much that I let some of my friendships fall to the wayside. And I think as entrepreneurs, we fall in that trap a lot because we're working so hard to build this thing and it's not quite built yet. We haven't gained enough momentum yet to maybe hire like we want to or hire like we need to. And what happened is I got so busy working my business that I didn't realize that I was Alienating my friends and they didn't understand. They weren't an entrepreneur. They didn't understand the pressure I was under myself. They didn't understand that I was literally working from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed. They felt like I just didn't want to be friends with them. And so I had a couple conflicts come up that I didn't even see coming because I was too busy to even notice it. And so my, if I could look back and go back now, and, and this is really what I do now. Is I gotta put dates on the calendar, Mar. I've gotta, I've gotta put dates on the calendar for my friends. I gotta put dates on the calendar for my family, and I've got to put dates on the calendar for myself. If it's not on that calendar, it doesn't happen. So I need to do that now so that I'm not thinking when I'm in the weeds with stuff that I've got to go, I gotta go find some time for some friends, you know. Like, I, I have to do it up front so that scheduled because if I wait to schedule it, it will never get scheduled. I'll be too busy for it. Right? So we have to do it first. It has to be the priority, family time, friend time, and just time for yourself too. And so put those on the schedule. Your work will be there tomorrow. Like it'll still be there. And what I found was that if I gave myself less time to do something, I was way more productive than if I gave myself more time. And these are simple things like just making sure once a week you have lunch with a friend. So easy. We can do that every single week. We got to eat anyway, right? So make— go have lunch with a friend. I used to before school, I would take one of my kids for breakfast once a week. So I would go twice a week, one with my son, one with my daughter, just me and them. We talked about school. We would get up early and we'd— they'd pick where we would go eat breakfast and we would go eat breakfast. And that was one way that I got some time with my kids. And, you know, I would have to schedule in at a weekend off. I still work weekends, not every weekend, but I would have to say, okay, I am going to take this weekend away from my business. And I had to mean it because we can sit at home and be thinking about our business all day long. Right. But I really had to, I had to put the phone down. I had to put the computer away and I had to not do stuff. And, you know, at first it was one weekend a month and now it's about half and half. I'll work one weekend. I'll be off one weekend. I'll work one weekend, whatever, whatever's going on, but we have to take a break. When we need it. The other thing that's helpful to me now that I didn't see then is that I work better in the mornings. I'm way more productive in the mornings than I am in the afternoons. Like kind of this time right now today, this is kind of when I'm like brain dead. Like I, I will spend more time trying to do something the rest of the afternoon than I could in 20 minutes in the morning. If I know that about myself, I need to go take a walk in the afternoon. I need to go do something with my kids in the afternoon. I need to take a break so I can come back fresh and be way more productive than I was, you know, in the beginning. And so all of those things, just to build some structure, we could work 24 hours a day. And sometimes we want to because we love it, right? We love it. But if we don't create those breaks, if we don't create that time, we lose that time and we can never get it back. And, you know, you ask me about, do I have productivity hacks? I use a calendar like it is is the Bible, okay? Like, it is under my arm everywhere I go. Like, I am— yes, I'm using a calendar everywhere for everything. Like, if I'm going to the grocery store, it's on the calendar. If I've got soccer practice, it's on the calendar. If I'm doing whatever in my business, it's on the calendar. If it's not on the calendar, it doesn't happen. I love kind of a to-do list. It kind of helps me organize all the things that are spinning in my head that keep me up on my to-do list. Check it off, check it off, check it off, and really organizing it each day. What's the most important thing for me to accomplish today? What can wait? So if I get to 3 o'clock in the afternoon and I have the most important things, I can go home. I need the 3 o'clock break. My brain needs that break. If I get to 3 o'clock and I haven't gotten it done, I need to push through it and get it done. So it's really organizing those tasks and remove distractions. This phone is the worst distraction. I mean, it just lit up and you can see all the dang notifications. I have to put it away. I have to close the door to my office. I just want to talk to everybody that walks by. I want to just do that. I have to remove the distractions so that I can be most productive in the smaller amounts of time that I'm working on my business than being less productive in larger amounts of time. Because at the end of the day, I'm doing the same amount of work, but now this gives me time back, time with my family, time with my friends, time for me, time to watch something on Netflix I've been dying to watch for a month. Like, you know what I mean? So I think that that's my advice that I would give you on how to balance it all and just realize that nobody has it all together. You see the front end of my business and me, you have no clue how messy the back end is. You know, it's, it's one of those things. I forget things all the time. My daughter knows that she's responsible for telling me what she needs and where she needs to be on a daily basis. Mom, did you remember that I have basketball workouts today at 4:30? Nope, but I will be there. Like, that is her role. She has to remind me because I'm busy running these businesses and my brain's full of all this all the time. So don't be afraid to kind of delegate, you know, their task and don't put everything on yourself. Everybody plays a part. In this as a family, and we should have the expectation that everybody knows how to load the dishwasher. It's not mom's job. It's everyone's job, and everybody can take the trash out equally as mom can. So, um, and I, I think if you just kind of go into it making the people in your life more responsible for their relationships with you, you don't have to be the one that asks your friend to lunch every week. You know what? Hey, Mar, Every Tuesday, you pick where we're going to eat and tell me when to be there, and I'll be there. And make them responsible. Help them make those decisions in, in your everyday life, and they will. If they want to be there, they'll, they'll show up for you.

Oh, I love all those tips, everything. Absolutely. And, um, I, I am completely agreeing with you on the calendar. If I call my external brain. If I don't have it with me, my little, you know, journal, it's not going to get done. It's not going to get remembered, nothing. It has to be in there. So I'm doing that.

Yes. So do you have any more questions about balancing everything? For me, um, have you found any ways to kind of help you balance? I know you deal with a lot of things every single day. What are some of the things that you do to help with that?

You know, my favorite thing that's kind of helped me maybe not get things done, but at least feel calmer about everything. Actually, I have this very elaborate, but it works for me, a very elaborate morning routine. I, I do get up earlier than everyone, but I totally like that, so we're okay there. I'm not dragging myself out of bed or anything like that, but I take 10 minutes each to like meditate and to learn something. So, you know, I'm learning a foreign language, you know, I'm reading a book, I am doing a little bit of yoga. So I have, you know, I have a little bit for the spirit, I have a little bit for the mind, I have a little bit for the body. And I feel like I've accomplished so much just with that morning routine. It feels like I took that time for myself, you know, and I did put myself first, you know, and I did good things for me. So now I'm like, okay, now I can give because I filled my cup, you know. So I'm okay giving. So I found that I have to do this routine. It could be, you know, abbreviated, doesn't have to be, you know, 20 minutes of yoga. It could be 5 minutes. But the point where I was at a scout camp for like a week with a bunch of 13, 14-year-old boys, and I was out there in the morning doing my yoga, and they're like, what are you doing? Sorry, I just did this. Will help me not yell at you later.

Yes.

So I think that's my, my favorite thing is to just give myself that time. And of course I plan, you know, we forgot to, you know, that has to be in there. But once I do all those little things for myself, then I can go out and seize the day and win it and, you know, feel like I've been kind of resetting your compass a little bit.

You're really, you're really centering yourself and then you're taking on the day of whatever that is. And I think if we can do that, if we can kind of center ourselves, like I like to get to work before everyone. So when I come to the warehouse, um, I usually get here 45 minutes before anyone shows up. It's quiet. I'm alone. I can look at the task at hand. I can decide what those big rocks are for the day, what I have to accomplish and what I can accomplish. And then I can kind of get going before I get distracted by Everybody that comes in and tells me what happened last night and what they're doing for the day. And just, just all of that becomes a distraction, um, to being productive. And so if we can kind of recenter ourselves, whatever that looks like for us, we can get so much more done and be so much— you said calmer is the word. And that's the thing, like, if you're laying awake at night feeling like you forgot something or you didn't have time to do something or you didn't get to something, like write it down so you can clear your mind of having to remember that. Um, because that's going to be super helpful for you. What kind of advice would you give to anyone that might be listening today that says I'm too busy to start my subscription box? I've been thinking about this for a long time, but I'm, I don't know how I could manage all of that. I'm just too busy. What advice would you give for them?

Think, A, to listen to everything you say, right? And then, you know, everybody says, you know, just jump on it and just do it. And I agree with that. But if you are really busy and you're like, where am I going to suppose, you know, where I'm supposed to fit this in my day, is what I've— I do for, you know, did for the subscription box, and I do for all the other, um, you know, projects I have to deal with, is what I call moving pebbles. Is basically you kind of think about all the steps that need to happen. You know, you're not just going to start a subscription box. You're going to decide what is going to be in the box. You're going to pick a product, then another one. So you think of all those little steps as your pebbles, you know, and each day try to move one. You know, just say today all I have to do is spend 15 minutes looking up, I don't know, boxes or stickers or whatever it is, and just do that. You know, I found that if I move a pebble each day, eventually I've moved the entire thing, the whole mountain behind me, you know. You know, it might take a little bit, but if you're just persistent and you keep doing it, even a tiny little bit, you're still a tiny little bit forward, you know, ahead than you were if you weren't. Doing this.

So if you look back in a month and you haven't moved any of those pebbles, like, you're still starting from scratch. Go ahead and start. Make time. I love how you said make a little bit of time every day, even if you work full-time, even if you homeschool, even if you're taking care of 20 beehives. Do a little each day because it adds up to a lot. It adds up to a lot. Absolutely. Mar, it was so great to chat with you on the podcast today. If they need this beeswax candle in their life, tell them where they can find you.

Well, I am on, uh, Instagram and Facebook and Pinterest at Windborn Candles. There's an E at the end of Windborn. And then my website right now is windbornfarms— that's the name of our farms— uh,.com. But I will be switching it eventually to Windborn Candles.

So we're going to add that to the show notes so they can find you easy. Thank you so much for joining me on the podcast today.

Thank you so much.

If the idea of creating a subscription box is swirling around in your head, I encourage you to head over to launchyourboxwithsarah.com, get on our waitlist, and grab some of our free downloads to help you get started. That's launchyourboxwithsarah.com.