Should I FORGIVE a family member? Author Shaka Senghor explains

When you have a conflict with a family member, and I can personally relate to that, I guess I have a. I guess my question is, what if you have the conversation but you don't want to. You still don't want to have a personal relationship with the loved one, the family member? Like, is that. Is that okay? Like, how do we navigate addressing conflict with. And sort of like being at peace with, you know, not having a relationship?

Oh, forgiveness doesn't mean front row. It doesn't mean that they have to get a front row seating your life. I mean, one of the stories I talk about in the book is the man who shot me. When I was 17. He wrote me a letter, an apology letter, like, almost 30 years later. And my instinct was to write him back. And then I started, and I was like, you know what? I don't. I don't owe him that. I accept his forgiveness. The only thing I wanted out of the equation was to know what he looked like. I went to the prison site where he currently is at, saw his face, and I was good. Like he did. He doesn't get access to my life. I don't think anything negatively about him. I've given up all negative energy associated with that outcome. Because really, the forgiveness was for me, you know, it wasn't about him. And so that doesn't entitle anyone to. To a front row in your life. With my mother, I've chosen that path because I feel like I'm mentally and emotionally equipped to navigate all the things. But that's a special set of circumstances, my mother. And so, you know, I. I felt like I wanted that, I desired that. And so that was my leading desire, was to have a relationship with my mother. Therefore, you know, I did the work to. To put her there. But not everybody warrants that, and not every relationship deserve that, because it really is about you as a human being. And to make peace with it, because sometimes we're like, you know, I forgave that person. I'm gonna let them go off. But really, we haven't made peace with it, you know, and it takes courage to get to a space of saying, you know what? I really am good, you know, or I'm getting good. Because sometimes it's just the process of getting good. But that awareness is a game changer.

Wow. This book is a game changer. Shaka, thank you so much for joining us today on the Gria Weekly. Shaka's book is called how to be Free, a proven guide to escaping life's hidden prisons. It's powerful Shaka's living the testimony. And we hope the Griot family goes out and gets the book. And it will also be on the Griot Book Club on thegrio. Com. You can read more about it.