Connection, Belonging, and Self-Worth: How They Relate

22 Oct 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

0:51

In this excerpt, Shari B. Kaplan, LCSW, explains the foundational role of secure early connections—particularly with a primary caregiver—in fostering a sense of belonging, which in turn underpins an individual's sense of self‑worth. She outlines how secure attachment, characterized by consistent eye contact, love, and safety, creates the conditions for belonging and worthiness. Conversely, insecure attachment patterns (anxious or avoidant) disrupt this chain, making it difficult for individuals to experience belonging and, consequently, to feel worthy. The segment underscores the psychological importance of early relational health for later self‑valuation.

Chapters

I'm gonna start at the very beginning, which is having a secure connection. You grow up, you have this mom, you wake up in the morning, you feel connected. She makes great eye contact. You feel loved, you feel safe. It is secure. Once you feel a secure connection, you will feel a sense of belonging. And if you feel a sense of belonging, you're gonna feel your sense of worthiness. Unfortunately, most of us do not have that, and we end up having insecure or Anxious or avoidant attachments. When you have insecure, anxious, and avoidant attachments, it makes it very difficult to feel a sense of belonging. And when you don't feel that sense of belonging, you can't feel a sense of worthiness.