Keeping the Crumbs from Falling with Chaos N Cookies’

Heather, thank you so much for joining me, uh, on the podcast. I'm excited about the topic that you bring to the market, uh, and what you're going to educate us on, uh, avoiding the crumbling and the chaos, um, and what does that all mean. But before we get into that, tell us a bit about your background and what led you into your business model and what you do.

Sure. So I started my business about 3-ish years ago. Um, Chaos and Cookies is, um, It's Chaos and Cookies here. I'm a single mom with 3 young kiddos, and I lived in a very chaotic home life. And so recently I've just been starting to share where this concept came from, why I have these systems in place, and how I've been able to create the environment that some think are great. I was, you know, in a situation where I had to, and just to kind of, you know, survive and thrive. And, uh, so being in a very unpredictable, uh, environment helped me create things that would control itself and really take out the guessing work, really help calm down that side of things. So then you could focus on the dynamics of everyday life. So I created Chaos and Cookies as a way to help not only moms, but women really, to be more self-sufficient and help them make their homes and businesses more self-sufficient so they could worry about other things. I think we all try to take on so much and don't like to ask for help, or we can't see when things like life happens and unexpected things. Life still moves on and continues to go even though now you have this crisis or situation, just like business as well. Business, you lose an employee or your system crashes, your business still is rolling and running and things need to be done. So just having some systems to be prepared.

And I must say, I absolutely love the name Chaos and Cookies. I mean, when I saw that come through when you booked into the show, I was like, this is This is really cool. And, you know, being in marketing myself, like the name, you can definitely remember it. And I really—

Alliteration's the best for marketing, right?

That's right. Now, a lot of times businesses are created out of necessity from something that's happened. And I'm assuming that's what's happened here. And then you built these systems through just finding out things that have worked for you with your client base, helping moms kind of overcome this chaos and still run a business. What are some of the things that you see so common that are really impeding people's growth and development as an entrepreneur that are also trying to balance that at-home life?

So I think it's more— the one thing is time, right? We always say we don't have time. We're always saying we're super busy and we don't slow down and we don't know how to fit it in or we're frazzled. A lot of other things is we're spinning our wheels all day and we're go, go, go. And then we sit down at the end of the day and we're like, I feel like I got nothing done because either we don't have a regimented system or we are maybe not feeling fulfilled when we are completing tasks. Cause we're always thinking about the next or thinking about how we could have done it better or how it was done and it wasn't the way you wanted it to. When we're not focusing on, you know, the bigger picture of, well, we did do it, we did get it done. Let's move on. How can we make it better next time? So I think we get so fixated on doing all the things. And if it didn't go the way that we thought, then, or if maybe we're not doing it the way that like Susie down the street does it, then we're doing it wrong and we need to be better and meet these expectations. You know, social media is doing that. We're seeing that in business. We're seeing that in just personal life. And we have to remember that like our way, if it works for us, is the perfect way. Suzy or Jane or whatever's way that's perfect for them might not look the same. Our goal is the same, but the way we get there is different, and that's okay. It doesn't need to look the same because you have no idea how they're working and living their lives. As long as it works for you, you have to be okay with that.

Absolutely. And we see a lot of times, you know, people are judging, you know, the majority of their life on like 10 or 20% of what they see in somebody else's life online, right? And they think that's their entire life, um, that's there.

We show exactly what we want people to see.

That's right. Very filtered.

We're not showing all the messiness. We're not showing the disarray. I mean, I'm now confidently coming out and saying, the reason why I created Chaos and Cookies was to get out of a bad situation that I was in, unfortunately, and make a better life for me, for my kids, and also to create wealth so I could empower myself and empower others to be like, why am I really here? Why am I doing these things? And is it because I don't have money to do XYZ? So just taking away the excuses, because once you take away the excuses and you put things in place and in motion, then there's really— you're your own worst enemy at that point. And so just trying to show that there's ways to do what you want. You just have to overcome the thought of I can't. Or it's not the best thing and really just take away those excuses and create, you know, ways to do that.

That's right. Now let's go back and think about that, that moment you made that decision that you're going to go into business for yourself and you're going to create Chaos and Cookies. What was that like for you? Was it, was it scary? Did you already know like exactly what you wanted to do or were you just building it as you went?

Okay. No, I had no idea what I was doing. So I left the legal marketing world. After 10 years and I stayed home, was raising my kids and I just could not work. I've always worked. I was always an athlete, always just doing stuff. And so I joined a health and wellness virtual program and started trying to coach women on health and wellness, which that's my degree. It was good. But then I started seeing those clients saying, well, I want to do it. I have the intention of eating better or working out or whatever, but I don't have the time. I don't know when to fit it in. And that was an excuse. And so creating this other side of things of, oh, well, we need to make time, maybe time blocking or management or habit stacking and create that system here to, you know, take out the excuse. And so when I created the business, my ex wanted me to start a business because it's a great tax benefit, right? Take a loss, whatever. And I just found that when I was creating it, not only was it helping me create a manual for my home and steps and, and systems on everything that happens at my house, in my business, in my kids' lives, but also the tasks that he was taking care of, like finances and all information that I was like, I can't make changes or I can't do this without him because he has the financial brains or whatever. So just trying to create some more open space and learning. And so when I created this system, it was really to collect information and empower myself to be like, okay, am I staying here because I need these— him to handle this because I just don't know? Well, if I have all this information, then what's my excuse now? Now it's to different conversation of should I stay because I want to, because I don't need the info anymore. So let's just take that out as my excuse and really make educated decisions. So when I started marketing this, I was marketing it as something that it really wasn't, which was an empowerment tool, which I think fell flat a little bit because people can sniff out like when you're being genuine, when you're holding back and it wasn't really resonating, but I was determined to make it work because of my end goal. So, uh, now being able to just pivot and really say why, and it helps. Um, even though how I was marketing it was like, if something were to happen to a spouse, like, you know, you would be able to hand this over to somebody else and someone could come in and help and designate some help for you. So then you don't have to deal with the chaos of the crisis. You can focus on that while your life still can, can go and you have like, you You can bring in a nanny, you can bring in an in-law and you don't have to text them a million instructions. It's right here. It's written down. It's your system. And you know that they'll be in good hands while you handle this unexpected thing. It still does come into play, but it also is, let's just create a system where you can really, um, be prepared for anything and everything. Um, And yeah, my path was very scary. I just knew I needed to make it work and I needed to do it in a way where I couldn't really talk about why I was doing it because I didn't want anyone to know. So, you know, it's one of those things because it, in the end, in the future, we don't have a crystal ball. What if it would have worked out and things changed the way I wanted it to change and then it wouldn't have been necessary. But because we don't and we can't control another person, you just kind of have to hope for the best and prepare for the worst type situation. So yeah, that's kind of how my journey has been.

Yeah, this is all really interesting. Now, in your, in your booking form, when you, when you got booked into the show, you mentioned that you believe that a, that a host should be run like a business. And this is, I think this is, this is all around the kind of these systems and processes and everything. Let's talk a little bit about that and what you mean by that.

So our homes are run, whether you're a working mom or you're a stay-at-home mom, we run our homes. There's bills to be paid, groceries to be get, you know, food to be cooked, schedules to keep. You know, it's like a mini business. It's just we're not getting paid, right? We— it's just life. And so when instances or crises or even opportunities come along, You know, even in business, is it, is the right time? Is it the right opportunity? Does it align with your business model? Well, at home, it's, does this align with our lifestyle, our morals, our goals? And you look at everything, even sports with your kids, like, is this going to fit into our schedule? Is this something that we can afford? And so running it like a business, it really Every— you have an SOP for your business. You hire employees. There's ways that you do things, systems to be run, how an email chain will be set up, what programs you like to use. You bring in an accountant, here's all of my information, right? Because God forbid you have to fire an accountant. Now you have to hand that over to someone else without explaining it because you're not an accountant. So just having those systems, just like at home. You have a sitter that comes in because you wanna go do a date night. Maybe your sitter wasn't available, so you have this service, they send somebody else. Well, from the way that, at least with me, your kids, you know how your kids function, you know how your dogs function, you know that you have to smack the microwave twice to get it to go on. You have all that up here, but if you put that in somewhere, you can then at least say it's written down on something. And so when you go out to dinner as a parent, you get that text from the sitter and you're like, okay, is everyone okay? Is someone dying? Is someone bleeding? Did somebody like fall in the pool? Whatever. When it's like, oh, hey, where is, you know, where do you keep the mac and cheese? Something very simple. And it's like all those things just go through a parent's head and it's just something stupid and it's not stupid, but it's just like, this was not worth my worry. And so just being able to just have something in place where they can reference, leave mom, leave dad out of it. So then when they do reach out, it is something that's worth the attention. It's worth the, you know, pause in conversation or evening so you can tend to it. So just helping everyone become more self-sufficient to leave us out of it. I mean, if you have a pet or a house, even plants, you have schedules on when you water it. You have schedules on when the lights come on, the lights come off. We have that up here, but if we write it down, we can simply print it out, keep it. Think about how many lists we create for ourselves for when we travel. It's mostly the same information all the time. Very little will change. So why keep throwing it away and redoing it and wasting time and just have it already prepared? So it's in your mind, you can be, be done with it, free up some mind space, but also know physically you have something.

Yeah, pretty much you're making an operation manual for your life.

Yeah, SOP for your home.

Yeah, for sure. Now, somebody is listening to you speak, they're saying, Heather, this sounds amazing, like this is exactly what I need. What are some things that they can do today, this week, to kind of start them getting prepped for this, to kind of start organizing their life better?

Sure. So I'm personally moving next week. Uh, at the time of this recording, I personally had to get a car, get warranty. I'm— so I personally am also starting a brand new manual. I'm going to a new home, which means things are going to be in different places, which means things are going to look a little different. And so if you're making a change or if you're going to start something new, I say start there. And then grow that out. So for instance, my car, I, I have now car insurance and a policy and what it covers, and I just got maintenance because it's a newer car. So my lease, I have all the information, they give it to you. So you either put it somewhere in a file, or what I do is I will write it down and put it— I'll either write it down or type it because it's, um, the manual I have, the Chaos Control System, the family handbook or family playbook, it, you can type it in and print it. So then if there's a change, you only have to change one page and not like a planner where you have to throw the whole thing away, you know, like a calendar. And so you can just print the page out so you can make those changes, but I keep that up. And so start small, start with, okay, I'm looking for summer help. Um, and camps. Let's write down what the kid's schedule is, what are some of the things they like to do, some of the places we like to go. So then you can give that to a sitter and say, hey, here's just some ideas, and let them know. So then, then you're not briefing them and talking through it as much. Save yourself some time at the front end. Um, so start small. Look at what you want to change. Maybe it's a routine, maybe it's how you organized your pantry, maybe your, your kid just has a new food allergy and you need to, um, revamp the, you know, list of things he can or cannot have, and start writing that down and keeping it in a central location, and then just add on to it. Um, I have 3 I call it the 3 C's for systems that you can implement now that it's like a set and forget type of situation, especially if you have kids. Because single moms, you need them to help. You need them to be able to do things on their own without you having to battle. I'm not sure, are you a parent?

Yeah, I have a 7-year-old.

Oh, great. I have a 7-year-old as well. So you know, like if they get up and they're wearing a tank top and it's freezing out, We're going to have this battle. Yeah, I don't think so. But you don't want to encroach on their independence. So for the clothing situation, at least it minimizes the arguments and time spent with the back and forth is I have this— I get this— they've got those shelves that hang from your closet crossbar and there's 5 sections, Monday through Friday. And I go on Sundays or sometimes if I have my nanny, who works a couple days a week, if she works on Friday, I will ask her to help me if she has time before she leaves. So I'm set for the weekend, is go lay out all— my kids are in private school, so they have uniforms and set PE days. It's not a lot of options for them, but Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, it's all set out. So then they know they can go next day, get what they need. They know it's a PE day, or they know it's Crazy sock day, you've set it out early so they can go and you'll know what they're going to wear. Not always do they go to the thing, they go into their drawer, but it minimizes the battles. It minimizes that 20 minutes of now you're being proactive instead of reactive and putting it in place where they have a sense of independence. They can get their own clothes if they're old enough to dress themselves. Your 7-year-old is. And then you can also pull it out and be ready and you confidently know you don't have to worry about looking at the weather. Is it gonna rain? Things like that. So it's just being a little bit more proactive and setting it, forgetting it, and then you just keep up with it every week and you put that in your system or you write it down. So if you bring in help, you can say, well, every Friday, this is what I need you to do. And it's just part of their routine.

This is amazing. There are people listening to this going, Heather, you're my kind of person. Like they love systems. And this is, I mean, just that, that whole thing of the days laid out, I was like, wow.

I do it for me. I do it for my workout clothes because I like to match. I do. So I can create an excuse like I can't find matching set, can't work out tomorrow. I lay them out, I pull it out the night before and put it on my sink so it's ready to go. It's there. There's no excuse. And I'm already not having to think about when am I going to work out tomorrow? Am I going to run? Am I going to this or that? So I do it for myself as well. So that's for like the clothing. That's the C. And then for cooking, again, another excuse, right? If you cook, you don't find the time. A lot of us will use those like prepackaged where they're like HelloFresh. They'll send it, you cook it. Well, not— it's expensive, right? My kids don't eat what they send sometimes, right? It's crazy. So a solution for that is when you do your groceries, when you come home, you got that single carrot or the onion, it's rolling around the drawer, it's just annoying and you can't find it. Think about how many laps we take around our kitchen, getting the spices, getting to this, getting to that, and you get to the part like when you have to add something like, oh, I forgot it, gotta go back. A lot of laps. So you get these like bins or sections in your refrigerator, you put all the things for that one meal in the bin. The one onion, the one carrot, the slicer, even if it doesn't need— if a refrigerator won't hurt it, the spices, put it there. So then when it's time for you to go cook, you can just pull it out, put it on your thing, and you just have to get a couple of little things and start dinner. So it just cuts down your time. You know, it's there. Isn't it the worst when you went to go make something and then it's like expired or you thought you had it, you didn't. And you're like, well, crap, now I can't make it at all. So, well, you throw the whole plan away and you order pizza when the goal was to cook more fresh food for your kids because you were trying to cut out that in the first place, right? So another time-saving trick there.

This is great. Great. What's the third C?

The third one is clutter. So sounds silly. Kids too. You have a, you have a 7-year-old. So of course there's toys everywhere, or they're always bringing stuff out. So we love functional storage, right? Everyone's got the ottoman or the cubes that are behind me. Like those are all toys and robots and all sorts of stuff, but it looks nice. And so having some sort of functional storage in every single place in your home, except maybe like your bedroom, like your master, bathroom, wherever you don't want them to have stuff. And this is also like blankets, any type of thing you want to store. And so you keep it actually at the entrance of your room. One, for our Pinterest lovers, our aesthetics that love to just look clean, like we don't have children, and you walk in and you can't see that behind you. And the second thing is they can take the toys out, they can take whatever. Maybe it is blankets after you're done on the couch. So when you say, okay, time to clean up, let's go, they can grab it and walk out of the room and plop it in whatever storage bin you have instead of going back and forth, back and forth. It's the, oh, I don't feel like going back over there. It's right there. You take it, you walk, and you go. And so it's just a quick tip on positioning And then I also have a centralized cube in my kitchen because toys are all, you know, they'll take it out before school and then they'll leave it behind. And then you're out the door and you come home and you just wanna jump into whatever you wanna jump into. But then you're like, oh, there's crap everywhere. So I don't want to put the stuff away from my kids 'cause I want to teach them that they need to keep track and it's a lesson. So I pick it up throughout the day for them if I find something and I stick it in the bin. So then at least they know to check it before bed. So before bed, they'll go in the cube, they'll grab all their stuff, put it away, because I say, if it's in the cube tonight, it's mine. So if it's not that important, fine, I found it. But just so you know, if this— whatever's in here, it's mine. And it gets them going, but it's also something I don't have to look at all day or step on. And then they don't lose it because you know it's important to them and you want to give them the lesson, but you don't want to like follow through with the threat because you know it's just going to be an empty one. And so at least, you know, it keeps it safe too.

Now this is, this is amazing. Like, so you obviously have, have this, this systematized and it's something that you sell. Let's talk about how people can get your system.

Sure. So I, it's on my website, it's on all my Instagram and Facebook links. It's called the Family Playbook. It's 181 pages. It's a lot. You don't have to use all the sections. It's digital, and so you can take the sections out that you want and use. It's all color-coded, so if you see like a yellow symbol, you'll know that that's household information. If it's purple, you'll know that there's another. So it's all— and you can do it how you want. I put in a binder, um, and I have a Pocket Playbook which is free. So it's medical information, all the main things you need to start. You can download that one for free and get it started. And if there's more sections you want to add on, you can go grab the whole system. Um, and, uh, I'm— after I get through my move and all my life changes, we're going to be starting up the coaching program where we can go through 5 weeks. It'll be CHAOS Marketing. Love it. Love a good acronym. And you'll be able to get through every week sections and coach like what you should put on there, how you should put it on there, and have a complete system. Because the worst thing is buying a tool and then not using it or having all intentions to do it and then life gets in the way. So implementing just some another system for you to get it done and then you have it.

So absolutely. So yeah, I'm looking at your website right now. You've got the Family Playbook with the Nanny Pack and Bundle. And it's on sale for $47 as of right now, regular $97. But you also have this 4-week Instagram bootcamp.

Yes. So that is the pivot I had to make. So when I had to get money quick to create some retainer money on the side so no one could really know it because I needed to make something because it, you know, when you start a business, it doesn't just start making money. It takes some time. And especially when you're catering to moms and homes, it's, it's a harder sell. It's a smaller sell because you have to ask your spouse for help, or if it's something that they have time for. If it's something for their business, they're more likely to execute faster and they can write it off. And the Instagram bootcamp was, I was promoting a lot on social, and a lot of the women I was coaching were mid-50s and 60s, and they were newer to Instagram because they were starting up their MLM business. And they didn't want to know how to 10x their business. They don't want to know how to get 16 million followers. They want to know how to post on Instagram. Like, where do I go? And then Reels happened and they didn't know how to use it or they were scared. And so the, the bootcamp, which I'll be running again soon this year, I'll probably do 2 a year, is I teach you 4 weeks the basics. We start with posts and content creation, and then we go to stories and then reels and then like all the other bells and whistles. And we, I show you, click here, click there, hashtag in your keyboard on your phone, put all your hashtags in the shortcut. So then all you have to do is like 2 letters and it spits them all out for you. So you don't have to type out the 30. And then worry about typos. And so just little things to help you just digest it a little more in bite-sized pieces where they don't feel so overwhelmed with the notion of all of these platforms. So that's what that is. Like a very show you how to do it, not to like grow your business a million, just how to use the tool.

Awesome. And the website is chaosandcookies.com. Not A-N-D, but N. And you also have a podcast, so people can go there and subscribe and listen to you giving them great tips on this. I mean, this is— I think this is a necessity in any household. I mean, just the things that you just shared today, I'm like, I need to implement some of these things.

So, but you have to actually implement them, right? You have to actually— like, great ideas. And so, like, I'll be moving next week, and so I'm trying a new system where I'm going to color code. I got these labels, they actually sell them now, but I got labels and they're all color coded with the name of the room. I'm going to put them on all the boxes and I'm going to put on like a paper plate in the house the label. So then the, the movers can look at the color, look at the room, yep, it matches, put it down and go. So they're not, you know, looking for the writing and see how that system goes. So just trying it, we're gonna see how it works. If it works, we'll be sharing it and So just small bites, change one thing and then move to the next is my—

Yeah, Heather, thank you so much. I mean, what you shared I think is going to change and inspire people's lives that are struggling with this. So we'll put all the links that we talked about with the show so you guys can grab those there. Any last words?

No. Again, you've mentioned the podcast. We, I have lots of parenting experts. I also have lots of like, you know, therapists and authors as well. So it's a, it's a fun place and come and check that out as well.

Awesome.

Thank you.