#075 - Freedom

Hey, friends. Welcome back to the Hit Splits Podcast. My name is Shelly Hitz, the owner and founder of ChristianBookAcademy.com and I just titled this episode Freedom. Recently, I really encouraged you just to dig deep and ask, like, what are the thoughts or the lies or the accusations that the enemy is coming against you with? What are the things that he. You know, just the. He meaning the enemy, the devil, the accuser of the brethren. What are the things that. That you keep hearing? And, you know, I told you I. I was journaling, and it just kept coming up again and again and again that I'm a failure. I'm a failure as a CEO. And it just felt so heavy. And, you know, just, whew. The enemy has been knocking at my door with that lie for a long time, or at least for. For months or weeks or however long. But. So I'm also a certified group fitness instructor with Revelation Wellness. It is something that currently I do as a ministry, and I donate my time, but I'm getting ready to lead a class. And I've been on this theme of forgiveness. So if you've read my book, Broken Crayons Still Color, and you watched all the videos or you read my book Forgiveness Formula, I talk about the forgiveness cross. It was something I learned about in counseling, and it really impacted me. So the vertical part of the cross is asking God for his forgiveness. And I called that workout remove the Rubble. And, you know, God just moves so mightily in my own heart, you know, as I was preparing for that. And just. That's when he just really began to prompt me to fast from TV and fiction novels and some other things just to clear the rubble. Let's just, like, you know, create space for God. The second one is the horizontal part of the cross, and that is forgiving others. And that was so powerful. We just had that workout. And I mean, so powerful. I share the, you know, the testimony of forgiving my grandma's murder. But again, God brought something to my heart that was recent, and it was another layer of forgiving my dad. And, like, I literally woke up the next day, day, feeling so much lighter and free, just processing that. Well, then this last part of this series of Unforgiveness is if you kind of see, like, a Celtic cross, there might be, like, a circle in the middle, and that would represent forgiving ourselves. Or you can just think of it as fully receiving God's forgiveness. And so I'm working on preparing that workout and that message right now. And. And it's so the first One is remove the rubble. The second one was let go. And this one is gonna be called Live Free. So it's gonna be about freedom. And I share a powerful testimony in my books about how God really set me free from the accusations and the condemnation and just how he's beating myself up from my own sin of pornography. You know, this was over 20 years ago, but how I had a breakthrough moment where I was driving and God just spoke to my heart. The song by Matthew West, History. And I'm actually going to play that song during the workout, but at the end. But when that song was playing, God just pierced my heart. He's like, shelly, you have asked my forgiveness, you've forgiven others, and yet you're still holding on to all of this accusation, and you haven't forgiven yourself and fully received my forgiveness. And I literally couldn't see. I had tears pouring down my cheeks. I pulled over and just began to weep and pray. And there was a breakthrough in my heart that day. And I really believe that some of the ministry that then resulted after that, like, 14 girls and then now what we do for writers and all of that. I really don't think all of that would have come to pass had I not had that breakthrough, because I was stuck. I didn't think I deserved to be in ministry or anything. You know, it was just. It was a bad season. But God brought breakthrough. So I was thinking about that, but I was thinking about, is there something more recent, too? You know, because God's always at work, and I always like having fresh testimonies and not just, you know, sharing the ones from before. But, I mean, it is powerful to share those, and I do share those. And God brought to my mind what I shared with you recently. You know, those accusations that I'm a failure, I'm not a good CEO, all of that. And so I haven't worked it all out exactly how I'm gonna do it when I'm live doing the live workout. But I want them to do something where they write down, like, what is the thing that is hard to let go of and forgive yourself or receive God's forgiveness? And, like, what is the theme? What is the topic? What is the theme? And then tear that up. And then on a different card, write out, like, what is God saying about you in that area? So regarding my pornography addiction, I just. That came very easy to me. I mean, that's something that, like I said, it's been 20 years ago, so more than 20 years ago. But.

I. The accusation that kept coming to Me during that season was that I was perverted. No other woman could ever relate or ever, you know, would have ever done anything like what I did. And on and on and on it went. But that was the prevailing one that who I was and who I was going to continue to be is that I was perverted. And then I felt like right away God gave me the word that was, you know, as pure. You know, once I asked God for his forgiveness, he cast it as far as the east is from the west. He remembers it no more. I am standing pure before him because Jesus Christ took on my sin. And oh my goodness, I'm gonna start preaching here, right? But he sees me as pure. So that was the example from before, you know, perverted versus pure. And then I was like, lord, what about now? What about the example and the testimony that you want me to share from right now? And obviously that the word that came to me was failure. I'm a failure. And I just keep hearing that and sensing that and, oh, it's just, it's overwhelming sometimes. And it's like, okay, Lord, what are you saying? And you know, it's like you think, okay, the opposite of failure, success. But that didn't, that didn't resonate with me because success is really not a word we like, think about, you know, when we think about God. And I mean, yeah, there, there are things that are success. But I don't know, it just, it just didn't seem like the right word. And then, you know, God always tells me, shelly, success is obedience. So I thought obedient. You know, I could write, I've been obedient. And it's like, well, you know, I have. But there are times that either delayed obedience or, you know, maybe I didn't do the things that God had led me to do. So that wasn't fully resonating either. And I was. He was literally working out at the time. Revelation Wellness has a free workout videos that you can get revelationwellness.org, it's RevWellTV. And man, he was working while I was doing this workout because it was just something he started, you know, having me think about this. And so I was like, what's the word, Lord? And all of a sudden it came to me and I just started to cry. The word was faithful. Shaula, you have been faithful. Yes. You've made mistakes. Yes. You've made poor decisions with your business that, yeah, maybe your business could be in a different place today because, you know, if you would have made different decisions, but you have Been faithful. And it makes me cry just saying it again. It's like, oh, you know, that weight lifted off. And, you know, it still doesn't solve our bank account issues or financial problems. But, you know, the Lord's gonna take care of all of that. This last month, it looked like we were gonna be a couple thousand dollars short. God provided. Like, it just is mind blowing. He always provides. And it's like, why do I ever doubt him? And yet it's all the uncertainty that's so hard in the moment. Can I get an amen? But, you know, it doesn't solve all the things. But it was like in that moment, the Lord began to bring freedom and healing to me. And now when that accusation comes up, when the enemy comes against me and says, you're a failure, I'll be like, guess what? No, I'm not. I have been faithful, and I am continuing to be faithful to what God has called me to do. And so I encourage you, you know, to do the same exercise. Romans 8:1 says, there's therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. We are free. We have that freedom from any of this. And yet sometimes it's easy to just walk back underneath it again. And I found myself in that recently. So I just feel like God is doing a new thing in my heart. He's doing a new thing in my mind. And it's exciting, you know, because it's God. It's not me, it's God. And, you know, the teacher always learns the most. And so as I'm preparing for things, like, God always teaches me and grows me. And so I'm so grateful. I'm so glad. But I just wanted to share this with you. Cause I know some of you have been praying, and we, we. We appreciate your prayers. Please continue to pray. The battle is not over, but God is working. He is working. Amen. So let me pray for you, Lord. Thank you so much. That no matter what comes against us, what accusations, and no matter what we have done, what sin, what mistakes, what bad decisions, you know, whatever things that we have either done or the things that are coming against us, the accusations from the enemy, Lord, we know that you are with us right now. And we know that your word says there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. So for those of us that have made that confession of faith, that we are walking with you, we are following you, we are disciples of Jesus, Lord. We know that we are free. And we can be free right this moment from any of that condemnation. So thank you, Lord, I just pray you would bring anything to our minds that might still be lingering. And Lord, speak over us. Truth, speak over us what we need to hear today. Just like I needed to hear today that I have been faithful.

Lord, speak over my friends what they need to hear today. And we pray this in Jesus powerful name. Amen. Amen. Friends, this is where you get the raw, real behind the scenes. I am a flawed human being, just like all of you. And yet God is greater than all of our sin. He is able to continue to grow us, to change us. And so I hope this encouraged you and that you will continue to be on your own journey of growth with Him. So live free, friends, and I will talk to you in the next episode.