This content was created by Shelley Hitz. This content was uploaded by Shelley Hitz. This is a podcast titled "#183: Perfectionism can lead to self-sabotage. Why at 7 years old, I vowed to be perfect." It features Shelley Hitz sharing a personal story about how perfectionism led to self-sabotage, recounting a childhood experience in a baton group and discussing the impact of a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset, referencing Carol Dweck's book "Mindset."
Chapters
I just wanted to share a really quick story. It's also on my blog that a way that perfectionism had caused me to get into self sabotage. And I think that's more of what it is for me is then I, I sabotage myself. But when I was seven I vowed to be perfect. And some of you have heard this story but look how cute my sister and I, this is my sister, this is me. And we were in this little baton group called the Sunbeams. And we practiced and practiced and then we were in a parade and I performed flawless except I dropped my baton one time. But I was like it was fun. We did great. And then the newspaper came out the next day and we were so excited. Our little baton group got into the newspaper. But I'm not sure if you can see me right here. I'm in the back and what am I doing? I am reaching for my baton. I had, that was the one time I had dropped my baton and. And it was on the newspaper for everyone to see forever and ever. You can see 1982. And I just realized I had to be perfect because if not it was going to be shown to everyone. And I think there are things in our past. Maybe it's something when you were little, maybe it was a creative injury. A teacher told you weren't good enough or a parent you're writing or somebody a critic or somebody a reviewer or something else. And in my 7 year old heart I resolved never to allow myself to be humiliated like that again. So I just, I went into working harder and that's my thing. A lot, a lot of you guys may get stuck because of the perfectionism and not doing it. I drove me to actually work harder and self effort, workaholism, fear of failure, people pleasing and it can paralyze us. But I've learned over time one mistake does not define who I am. I learned that in order to be successful I have to risk failure. Failure. And a book that's been really helpful for me and it might be helpful for you too. It's called Mindset. It's by Carol Dweck. How many of you guys have seen this book? And the mindset that I had at seven years old was the mindset of a fixed mindset that I can't make any mistakes or else I will not be good enough. But the growth mindset says failure actually helps me to learn and grow and become a better person. And so God has been really helping me in that as well.