#202 Freedom from People Pleasing (Breakthrough Series)

Welcome to Kingdom Writers, where we help equip and empower Christian writers of all genres to share your unique gifts with the world. We're your hosts, C.J. and Shelli Hitz.

This podcast is filled with spiritual encouragement as well as prayers to help you overcome the resistance you face as a writer. Your story matters.

Hey, Kingdom Writers, this is Shelly Hitz. Welcome to the Breakthrough series. So this is going to be a series of 12 episodes that we're going to dive in deep to the obstacles that you face as a Christian writer. We covered all of these topics in our online prayer meeting episode, and now we're going to dive deep into some practical things and some scriptures that that can really help you. So I hope you enjoy this series. We did record it live on Facebook, and so you may hear us say, you know, comment here, or we're gonna have some Q and A at the end. But just know that you can always join us live over on our Facebook page, Christian Book Academy. And we also wanted to provide this on our podcast so that you can listen to these as many times as you want to help you receive Breakthrough. As a Kingdom writer, I have a question for you. Do you have a fear about what people will think about your writing, or are you afraid of being criticized or being judged because of your writing or your books? If so, today's episode is for you, and it's all about getting freedom from people pleasing. If that sounds good, just let us know in the comments. This is a biggie. This is one I have really struggled with, and God has really just brought me a lot of freedom in it. And so we're excited to share this topic with you. This is part of our breakthrough series, which we're covering 12 different obstacles that you as a Christian writer face. And we're helping you break through those obstacles through the power of scripture and prayer. And so today, if you're here with us and on a platform where you can comment, please comment and interact with us. It nothing motivates us and encourages us more. So CJ Is going to jump in. My name is Shelley Hitz. This is my husband C.J. and he's going to jump in with our key scripture for today's training.

Yeah, so today's scripture comes from Galatians 1:10, which says, obviously. And this is Paul writing, obviously. I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant. And, you know, later on, just a chapter later, we actually see some proof behind the pudding. Here regarding Paul, Paul actually had to confront, get this, Peter, one of Jesus original disciples. And can you imagine how intimidating it would be to actually have to confront this, this guy who was nicknamed the Rock and who Jesus said, you know, the church would be built upon, you know, him and, and the rest of these disciples, these original disciples. And Paul had to confront Peter about an issue regarding Peter sort of showing favoritism and wanting to look good in the eyes of his fellow Jews and not eating with the Gentiles. And even though he was preaching a message.

The Gospel toward the Gentiles and hoping that they would give their lives to Christ in practice, he found himself sort of waffling and still wanting to pleased the Jews, his own people, who really were commanding people to still be circumcised, commanding people to still obey the law, which Peter eventually would say we can't do. And that circumcision is no longer valid in terms of a physical nature of it. But imagine Paul actually had to confront Peter and so he was essentially living out that message, obviously not trying to win the approval of people he was willing to confront. And that was a hard thing for him to do.

Yeah. And you know, the proof is in our actions. Right. And he really showed with his actions. But I want to share a quote by Aristotle and he says there is only one way to avoid criticism. Do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. Right?

Yeah.

You know, basically what that quote's saying is if we really want to avoid criticism or if we really want to avoid being judged for what we write or for the books that we put out there, it basically means you have to just do nothing. Because the honest truth of it, everyone, is that we at some point are going to receive a criticism, or we're going to have a hater on social media, or we're going to get a one star review on a book, or we're going to have someone not really approve of what we're doing. Right?

Yeah. And you know, just to go along with that quote, I mean, if you don't want to lose a game, don't show up to the game.

Yeah.

Don't, don't even play the game. But eventually, you know, you have to put that risk out there. And you know, a few things that I want us just to consider, you know, before we even write our first words, whether it's a book or a blog post or a social media post, what are the questions that we ask ourselves? You know, think about that yourself. What are the things that go through your head before you, you push Submit or publish or whatever it might be, you know, if we care more about what others think.

You know, we risk actually, I believe, crossing into idolatry. You know, there's two questions essentially, what will others think? What will God thinks? But which one of those questions trumps in our mind, you know, is it what others think or what God thinks? Who's our real audience ultimately? And I think it's just a good question to ask. And I'm not saying today I have any, like, great, quick answers. Neither Shelley and I do, but we've both wrestled through this whole people pleasing, and I have seen that time and again on social media, which we'll touch on in just a little bit. But I think it's a good question to ask. I think some of us, myself included, have actually worshiped our reputations among men and women over the very God that we ultimately want to please. You know, the God that Paul says, I want to be a God pleaser, not a people pleaser.

Yeah.

Yet it's difficult in this day and age because naturally we want people to like us. But listen to this scripture as well, and this comes from the new King James, it's Philippians 2, 5 through 7. Listen to what Paul said regarding Jesus. Let this mind be in you and me.

Which also was in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God. Listen to this. This is the key phrase that stuck out to me, but made himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant and coming in the likeness of men. You know, Jesus was the ultimate example of someone who even laid down his, the reputation that preceded him. I mean, he was the Son of God, he had his place in heaven. But it says he didn't use that in order to sort of dominate over men and women, his own creation. But he took no reputation. I think it's just a great example for us in terms of what are we really seeking after.

In our own lives in what we write we publish, you know, just from the littlest things, the social media posts to the books that we'll eventually publish. Just good questions to wrestle with.

Yeah. And I mean, that's, you know, it's convicting, right?

Yeah, absolutely.

And we're, we're, we're not saying that like C.J. said, that we have it all figured out. I mean, there are times that I'm writing something or I'm doing something, and my first thought is not how can this please God? How can this make Shelley look good? Right. You know, I Mean, I'm just being brutally honest here. Is anyone else willing to be honest and say that they have also had those thoughts before? How will this make me look? And it's interesting because I've been working with writers for over eight years, and I've been speaking at events and talking. And there was an event I was at last year, and I was sharing, and we were talking and discussing this whole topic, and a lot of the writers in the audience were telling me, shelley, I'm afraid that I'm going to begin sinning by either becoming prideful or becoming greedy in this whole publishing and marketing arena. And so we started talking about it, and once we really dug in, it wasn't really the fear of necessarily sinning and becoming prideful and greedy that they were worried about. It was actually that other people would start to think that you're greedy or prideful. And so the root of what stops a lot of Christian writers from, number one, publishing their books and number two, marketing their books, is what other people think. And I will admit, like, I put myself out there and, you know, I don't do it perfectly all the time, but when God asked me to do something, I'll do it. And so, you know, I've had people actually say to me, shelly, I'll be praying for you, that you don't become prideful. And deep down, I'm thinking, do you already think that? You know.

And I'm sure people have thought all sorts of things about me, but you know what? At the end of the day, what is going to matter is not what those people think of me. If they're judging me, it's what God thinks of me. Right? And so they're responsible for their judgments. That's between them and God. I'm responsible for doing what God's called me to do in the Parable of the talents in Matthew 25. You know, I think we're really familiar with this parable, but the person that was given one talent, it says they were afraid. And so they did what CJ hid.

Played hide and seek.

They hid. They were afraid, and so they hid. And I think we have this whole. Whole sea of Christian writers out there and, you know, that are hiding, whether that means not publishing their books, not posting on social media, not putting yourself out there in marketing, and it's because of fear. You're afraid, and so you hide. But the root, I really believe, is the fear of what other people will think. And when it really comes down to it, like when I face Jesus one day and I'M in heaven and I'm standing face to face with him. What do I want him to say to me? I want him to say, well done, good and faithful servant. I don't want to be up there making excuse, but I didn't want to appear this way. I didn't want so and so to think this. I didn't want to da, da da, da da. No, I just want him to say, you took the talents I gave you, you multiplied them, and this is the impact. Look at what happened because you took the brave, courageous steps to publish your book, to market your book. Look at all of these people that are here because of you.

That their lives were impacted because of you. Christian writers. Right now we need to say, no more. No more am I going to say I'm going to hide myself and I'm going to worry about what other people think more than what God has called me to do. He has a purpose for you, and it is more than what you can even think or imagine.

Yeah, amen to that. You know, and I think in this day of social media that we live in, I think it's really multiplied even. We just see so often how many chances we have to look good in people's eyes. And, you know, social media really fuels a lot of this. People pleasing, you know, trying to post only what you think people will like and not sharing anything that might actually be controversial or exposing, you know, in terms of exposing our own weaknesses.

You know, there's a pressure to fit in. You know, don't be too weird. You know, go with the flow.

Have you ever thought that, like, I just don't want to be too weird?

Yeah, don't go against the grain, you know, just. Just go with popular opinion, you know, and it really becomes a popularity contest. Just like going back to junior high in high school. Now, how many of you have nightmares about junior high and high school and trying to fit in and, you know, you're trying to cover that zit and you're, you know, you're trying to find out the perfect clothes that are going to get you, you know, get people liking you and you want to kind of just fit in, you know, and, and, you know, I wouldn't say I was necessarily trying to be in the popular crowd more than anything. I just wanted to be a good athlete and I just let that take care of itself. People like me, great, if not. But I saw a lot of people just striving to make sure they just fit in and become part of the crowd, and it was just death to be that person that was singled out as different. And I saw a lot of my friends that they didn't care. They were willing to be artsy. They were willing to wear very interesting clothing, even if it wasn't exactly the same. But what I see is this whole social media dynamic as well. We're all just trying to be popular among a lot of people, get the most likes possible, try to minimize the unlikes, you know, and people actually criticizing us. And so what I see is our emotions. And I'm talking from personal experience here. My emotions have risen and fallen based on the temperature of the crowd and what they think about me. And so I almost equate it to that game, you know, he loves me. And what's the rest of it?

He loves me not.

He loves me not. He loves me. Oh, he loves me not. You know, the petals of the flower. And I think that we almost do that with social media. Like, we create a post and we get like, Facebook, 50 likes, and we're like, yes, you know, they love me.

Yeah.

And then we write a post that, you know, we even get some criticism on, and we're like, oh, they love me not. You know, and we just sort of have this constant. You know, it's like we're in this wave pool being tossed. And I'm speaking from experience here. It is hard to do stuff that goes against the grain, even though, you know, God put that on your heart. Whether it's to write it in a book, write it in a blog post, write it in a social media post. There's different degrees of what we write and the messages that God's put on our hearts. And so just something, again, for us to wrestle with in terms of the whole people pleasing aspect.

Yeah. And I've heard this quote from many different people. I'm not sure who the original person was, but the quote is basically, what other people think is none of your business. What other people think of you is none of your business. Amen.

Amen.

And I have a situation where I know that. I know that. I know that God called me to write a book, and yet I did not want to write was my book on pornography. I mean, the title of the book is the Christian Woman's Guide to Breaking Free from Pornography. Hello. This is gonna be on my Amazon, Author.

Anyone and everyone can see that I've written that book, that I personally have struggled with this. And I was like, lord, no, I really don't want to. Do I have to? And I remember it was CJ and I were Speaking at a youth retreat. And at that youth retreat, I was sharing my talk on forgiveness. And in that I share the forgiveness cross. Asking God's forgiveness.

Yeah, asking God's forgiveness. Asking others to forgive you, and then forgiving yourself. And I was talking about that forgiving yourself part, and I just barely mentioned that I had to really do that after, you know, I had struggled with pornography. Well, somebody came up to me afterwards and she was like, shelly, can I please talk with you? She said, I am a resident assistant at a Christian college. And she said, I have recently found out that almost every, every girl on my floor struggles with pornography. Now, this was many years ago, but she's like, can you please just sit with me and tell me what can I do to help them? How can I help them? Can you please, please? I mean, she's begging me, can you please help me? And it gets me teary eyed just thinking about it. Because it was in that moment that the Lord was like, shelly, you've got to write this in a book. There are other people out there right now that either want to help people that are struggling or are struggling themselves. And there was like, really no resources at that time out there. And so I spent probably, I don't know, maybe an hour with her. And it was the beginning of that book. And yet I did not want to publish that book. I mean, it's still kind of like, I don't know, embarrassing or something. You know, it's just like, it's hard to have that out there. And yet I know that God has used it. I received an email one time where, you know, she just said, thank you for sharing your story. And so sometimes there are going to be moments that, you know, God has asked you to say something on social media or to write a certain book or to do a certain marketing campaign, or you just know people are not going to necessarily just love that, but, you know, it's what you're called to do. And, you know, it's interesting because C.J. and I, when we share with people what we do for a living, you know, I used to be a physical therapist. He has a degree in teaching, and he was a ministry with Youth for Christ. We've been missionaries, but when we tell people that we have a business where we, you know, mentor writers online, we write and publish books, they just give us this deer in the headlights look like you do what?

And it's so hard because sometimes I just want to fit in. I just want people to look at me like I. Like they used to when I would tell them I'm a physical therapist and instant respect. But we were telling this to my. My husband's late grandfather before he passed away, and he's like, so, are you working? He's like, yeah, we have our own business and we're doing this and this. And he's like, oh, so you don't have a job?

I'm like, I work harder than I ever did in my job, thank you very much. But how many of you know, no matter what you do, you're never gonna get everyone's approval? Right. You're never going to have everyone that's gonna approve of you and like you and, you know, there was this quote that I recently heard. Again, I don't remember who said it, but it resonated with me so, so much, because C.J. and I do things so differently than most of the people our age. But they said, people accept what is the same but will eventually respect what is different. And so God really began talking to me. Shelly, when you're wanting to fit in, when you're wanting to be just like everyone else, when you're not wanting to stand out or have people look at you weird or not understand you or not get you, you're basically just wanting to go with the flow. But what I have for you is something different. What I have for you is to be set apart. Right. Even as believers, that's what we're. To be holy is to be set apart. And eventually, even if they don't get you, even if they don't accept you because they accept what's the same, eventually they will respect you. And I want to tell you right now, if your goal is to fit in, if your goal is to just blend in, you can choose the way that God is calling you, whatever it is he's calling you to do, and that people will eventually respect what is different. Even if you never fully get that approval from Grandpa. Right. Or from whoever in your life. And that you can absolutely get God's approval.

Yeah. And, you know, even regarding reviews, you know, when it comes to things on, you know, with our books on Amazon, for example, we all know or we've heard by now that reviews are important. I mean, there's something that helps our books in terms of, you know, search engine and rising in rankings and those types of things, and the social proof. Yeah. But you had mentioned something about reviews.

Yeah. So, you know, that's one of the things, too, that I think, as writers, you know, I've heard from several of you that you're afraid of being criticized or judged. And one of those ways that you can be criticized or judged as a writer is through a public review. This is not something you can delete off of Amazon. You know, it's out there. And yet I want to remind you that even the best of the best of the best authors out there, you know, the C.S. lewis's, the Stephen Kings, you know, any author has gotten their share of 1 star reviews. Your message is going to resonate with certain people. Your message is going to connect with certain people. Some people read my books on gratitude and they think they're going to be self help. And then they have scriptures in them and they're like, I didn't like, I don't like this. It has scripture in it or it's too preachy, or it's this or it's that. But then I have, you know, hundreds and hundreds of positive reviews. And so just remember that your message is not for everyone. And there may be a few people that stumble upon your book that get your book that don't like it. It is okay. They're not the ones it was meant for. Right.

There's many, many other people that will appreciate and will get you. And I recently got a bad review on my Broken Crayons Still Color book. And they're like, this is for teens. It's not for adults. It's, you know, like juvenile and childish and this and that. And I'm thinking you think these topics are childish. But I, you know, and I was kind of offended at first. I was like, oh my gosh. But then right after that, I got several comments from people that were saying how it changed their life, how they were crying because God was just touching them in such a deep way and healing them. And God was reminding me again, even though that book has much so sold really, really well, it's not for everyone. And that's okay. And so we do have to grieve sometimes and feel our feelings. It hurts, right? Yeah, I'm not gonna pretend it doesn't. It hurts. But I will say that, you know, I have chosen to kind of take a fast from reading my reviews for a while because I'm such a sensitive personality. And so you may need to do that sometimes too.

And you know, I've heard of athletes doing the same thing where they actually don't go through and read the social media comments about them. I mean, imagine if, you know, some of these athletes did that constantly. I mean, they'd be so mentally fatigued, they'd have no energy for their Next game, you know, or to perform at the level that they know they can. But I think that is a good practice, you know, and there's others. If you get a bad review, I've gotten bad reviews. If we find ourselves with those bad reviews, whether they're deserved or not, we need to realize we're in good company. There are others throughout history who have received bad reviews. Let me mention a few of those. Jeremiah, Isaiah. Yeah, Ezekiel. How many know that these guys were not popular in the day, not at all in which they lived? They shared hard messages. They were writers, they were prophets. They shared their stuff. But you know what? Can you imagine how much of what Jeremiah said.

He cringed inside beforehand? You know, like, do I really want to put this out publicly? Do I really want to approach the king of Israel with this stuff that I know God's put on my heart to share? If I withhold it, he even says, it's like a fire burning in my bones, you know, I have to share it. And I know that many of us feel the same way. Sometimes we may cringe. Now, I'm not saying every single thing you write is going to be controversial and rub people wrong. I hope that it's not all like that. I hope we have opportunities to, you know, write some things that, you know are rainbows and unicorns and different things, you know, that always get, you know, some, you know, that sort of really encourage a lot of people and really don't cause people to always be ruffled. But how many know that sometimes God may call you. He may call me to share hard things? How many know the truth hurts at times? It just hurts. It's not easy to share whether we're confronting a friend, whether we're confronting an audience where we know that God's already dealt with that with us. And so I know he wants me to share it with this crowd because many others might be challenged as well. It's not easy to confront siblings who have offended us, and we're asking them.

To consider their ways, whatever it might be. It's hard to have conflict, and yet sometimes we're going to be called to share those hard truths.

Yeah.

And so, you know, if God's put a message on your heart to write, we encourage you to speak the truth. The gospel message is offensive to many people. And so there's going to be times when you're called as a Christian writer to clearly portray the gospel, whether it's in a novel, whether it's in something that you're sharing your own personal testimony and it's not going to always go over well with everyone. You know, we live in a day and age where, you know, there's. There's a lot more vocal criticism of Christians at large, some justified, some not. You know, hopefully, you know, we're. We're living for the Lord, and we're being criticized for. For a righteous testimony, not because of falling in sin all the time in front of those watching us, but what we're saying is that the gospel can be offensive, and it says that to those who are perishing. And so we know this message.

For those who accept it as a sweet fragrance, but to those who don't want to accept it and want nothing to do with it, you're going to receive criticism. I'm going to receive criticism. It's just going to come.

Yeah. And, you know, that's where it takes real wisdom from the Lord. James 1:5 says, if you lack wisdom, ask God, and he will give to you freely of how to say the things that he's given you to say. And, you know, to have the boldness to do it, but wisdom in how to say it. And so, you know, we have this expectation from others that looms over our heads, even, you know, if we tell ourselves, oh, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, or doesn't matter what people think or what kind of reviews that I have. And Pamela says, you know, thanks for admitting that it hurts, you know, when you get a bad review. You know, I had believed that I had to have a thick skin. And it does hurt, you know, and there are moments where, you know, we just need to grieve that and we need to let it go. I want to share from 1st Samuel 17. It's from a very familiar passage of David and Goliath. It's right before David goes in to fight Goliath. And it's from 1st Samuel 17, 38, 40. And it says, then Saul gave David his own armor, a bronze helmet and a coat of mail. David put it on, strapped the sword over it, and took a step or two to see what it was like, for he had never worn such things before. And then David says, I can't go in these. He protested to Saul. I'm not used to them. So David took them off again. He picked up five smooth stones from a stream and put them in his shepherd's bag. Then, armed only with his shepherd's staff and a sling, he started across the valley to fight the Philistine. And I get chills because we know what happens next, right? He Defeated Goliath with one stone. And what happened? And God showed this to me recently. He said, shelly, this is a picture of what happens when we're trying to please other people. You know, David went in and Saul said, you need to put on this armor. You need to have this thing. It was like the expectations of others. You know, you need to write this way, you need to mark it this way. You need to do this, you need to do that. Don't rock the boat, you know, and, you know, we take on these expectations from others. But David was strong enough to say, no, I can't wear these. I've never worn these. I've never even, you know, done anything in these. They're uncomfortable. I'm not going to be successful wearing this armor. And he took it off. And to me, it's a picture of us shedding the expectations of other people. As we go into battle, we are on the front lines, writers, you know, as we write, as we speak, as we share messages. And we have to be. We have to, you know, just be aware of what are other people trying to put on us and is it for us or not? And C.J. and I, we've had to really shed a lot of excellence expectations of other people in order to do what we're doing today. And, you know, it hasn't been an instant thing, but it's been over time. And I encourage you right now to own who you are, to own who God has created you to be. The gifts and abilities he's given you. You know, David had been fighting, you know, lions and bears and, you know, as a shepherd, and he knew how to use those stones. He didn't know how to use that sword. Use your gifts and abilities. Don't just do what the gurus tell you you have to do or what someone else. What's worked for someone else, just because it's worked for them, just like the armor of Saul, doesn't mean it's going to work for you. Amen.

Amen. You know, and sometimes, you know, I think you could look at.

You know, the Christian Book Academy as guide. You know, it's a guide. Do you have to follow every single exact thing that's mentioned in here? Cross every T, dot every I. No, you. You can take the tools and then run with them and even apply those tools in ways that really fit you. You know, just like Shelley said, you know, had David worn all of that heavy armor, carried that sword? He wasn't used to it, and he had his style. And I think we can say that regarding our own writing as well. We have our own style, our own giftings and abilities in the way that God wants us to share that, you know, with the world.

Yeah. And, you know, at the root of people pleasing is a desire for acceptance. And so if you think about it, what's the opposite of acceptance? It's rejection. Right. And so I just want to speak very honestly and real to you right now. There are some of you that are listening to my voice right now that have very deep wounds of rejection.

You have very deep wounds. And just trying to put some scripture over that or some rah rah, like, you know, message. It's not going to be enough. There needs to be a deeper healing from those wounds of rejection in your past. And so we were praying before this that God would really bring that healing. C.J. and I can't do that for you. We can lead you. We can share our own stories. But I just wanted to share just a real slide, simple story from my past that I had to receive. Healing for that I didn't even think was a big deal. You know, sometimes things have happened in our past and we're just like, eh, it wasn't a big deal. And we just think, like, I just have to move on and, you know, just forget about it. Well, I was in junior high. Remember we talked about junior high earlier or middle school, whatever you call it. And I had this girl that was always criticizing me. She would criticize what I was wearing that it didn't match. And you know what, to be honest, sometimes it didn't.

But, like, she would criticize me. She would, you know, pick apart every little thing of my appearance or how I was reacting or what I was wearing. And I remember it was several years ago. The Lord brought her to my mind again. And I realized that was a form of rejection that really hurt in a really sensitive time in my life. And I needed to forgive her. I needed to ask God to heal me from that and to release me from that root of rejection in that certain situation. And again, it doesn't even seem like a very big deal today. It would probably be considered bullying. We didn't even call it that when I was in school. But, you know, I had to work through that. And so I just want to encourage you right now to just take a moment. We're just going to be silent for one moment and ask the Lord, is there anything from the past? Is there any root of rejection that is causing this issue of people pleasing to fester and continue? Is there a root that needs to be uprooted, and that needs to be healed by God. Isaiah 61:1 is my life verse, and it says that basically Jesus has come to heal the brokenhearted and set the captive free. And so I just want to give you a minute just to really just reflect and ask the Lord, is there anything that he needs just to bring healing in your life? Is there anyone that you need to forgive so you can truly be free from this and move on without this whole cloud of wanting the acceptance and just, you know, so desperately needing the acceptance of others?

You may need to take more time to journal about this later, but I was just praying for you during that time, and I got this picture that for some of you, it's almost like you just chose to take away a band aid that's been covering this wound and it's been festering and getting infected, and you're finally choosing to not ignore it anymore, but bring it out into the open. And then I just see Jesus coming and doing the healing that that wound needs, bringing the wound care. When I was a physical therapist, I had to learn how to do wound care and, you know, the debridement and the different, you know, ointments you put on it and just all the things to truly heal that wound from the inside out and not just slap a band aid and try to ignore it. Amen. I know this is hard. I know this is deep stuff, and I know we can't resolve it completely on this broadcast, but we could not talk about this topic without mentioning this root of rejection that could still be there and that God wants to free you from. He wants you to be healed. He wants you to be free, and he wants you to. To no longer walk around with this cloud of feeling like you have to please everyone else.

Yeah. And it, you know, in the last. The previous episode, you know, we talked about breaking through that obstacle of insecurity. And you may remember that I talked about, you know, how our identity is so crucial, you know, where's our true identity? And, you know, lately the Lord's been working on my heart in terms of just really, you know, resting in that verse of John 13:23 where John actually said, you know, that he.

Was mentioning the disciple that Jesus loved. And six times in just the Gospel of John alone, we read those words, the disciple that Jesus loved. And that's what I've been saying is, cj, you are the disciple that Jesus loves. And I think when we truly have that firm identity in Christ, the expectations of others, even the acceptance of others, and wanting to get all those likes and wanting to really be popular, that stuff just almost just falls away. Like the shedding of old skin. You know, speaking of skin, you know, and wounds and things, I just think that, oh yeah, by the way, I just called us all snakes. You know, I'm not saying that we're all shedding our own skin, but that's a joke.

But essentially what I'm saying is, you know, we have this identity and where is that identity rooted? And once we really find that, we just don't care anymore about all of the applause of men and women. But we just want to please our master. We just want to sit up in our Father's lap and gaze up into his eyes and hear his words. For us, I think it just.

That the work gets done within us. He does the work within us supernaturally. And it's a process. And just like we've said, and there's stuff that each of us have to tackle head on and ask the Lord to be able to touch in his healing. And so, yeah, and I do want.

To say, as we had someone ask, you know, how to heal from this, you know, how to heal these experiences. And I do think that in some cases it may require additional help. I personally have went to Christian counseling several times in my life and I believe in it. I've had life coaches before that have walked me through stuff. And I've also done a lot of journaling and my book, Broken Crayons Still Color really talks about the journey I personally went through to heal from my grandma's murder, from sexual abuse, from, you know, all of the different things that have happened in my life. And so if this is something that's kind of, you know, pricking something deeper in you, that may be a book to get and not just to read the book, but actually watch the videos. Because it's in the videos that I really give a lot more content of walking this out. And so those are just a few things to think about if this has really brought a few things to the surface.

Yeah, and even finding a good local counselor, someone in your area that is experienced, you know, as a, as a counselor, whether it's a Christian counselor or someone else that just has experience in some of these issues that can help walk you through that wounding of rejection and what that's all about and really diving deeper into it. And again, these are things, I just think they're part of the human race. You know, we all dealt with it. And as I said earlier, this social media age just magnifies some of these emotions because we're constantly checking in our social media, like, okay, I had 12 likes in the last hour. How many do I have right now? Oh, good, 20 people like me now, you know. And so it's just this constant tug. And I think it's a very relevant issue.

It is for sure.

And we all deal with.

And the truth is we will continue to deal with this as long as we're on this side of heaven. Amen. Another resource I did want to mention is Mark de Jesus. If you go to his website, I think it's just markdehesus.com he has a book, I think it's called the Root of Rejection. And he also does some one on one, I think through Skype that you can have him go through some things with you. And I recently heard him say speak. And it really brought an additional layer of healing to me in some, some of the areas that I have. So realize it's layers, layer by layer by layer. It's not like one and done. Okay, I'm going to ask for healing and it's done. But know that we're here with you, we're going to pray for you. And like healing and freedom is possible in Christ.

So we're going to now just reiterate the truth. You know, this little section where, you know, Jesus says, you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. And so today's truth again is Galatians 1:10. And it's Paul talking and he says, obviously I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant. And we just want to grasp that truth. And I want to just come to the Lord in prayer and as we pray, just lift up your own heart, you know, in this whole area and anything that comes to mind in your life. And we're just gonna ask the Lord to just continue to shed light on this whole area and that we can break free from people pleasing. So Lord, we come to you right now desiring to be God. Please pleasers, not people pleasers. It's difficult, as you know, Lord, in this day and age especially. It just, it's magnified in the social media age of constantly checking for approval. And I ask, Lord, that you would help each of us completely break free in Jesus name from this whole trying to get all of our acceptance among men and women instead of really just seeking your face, what you have for us and being able to confidently share that knowing it came from your heart and knowing that you're going to use that in ways we can't even imagine in other people's lives, both here and around the world. And so, Lord, would you break that in each of us? And would you also just bring the necessary healing that you offer for those areas of rejection or hurt where we found ourselves really wounded? I ask, Lord, that you would bring healing in there. And if it's a process where we go through some counseling or just some extensive journaling.

Whatever it might be, I pray that you would just bring the necessary healing in order for us to press forward in the full calling of what you have for us so that we don't have to have this extra baggage of people pleasing. And so, Lord, would you just help us break through this obstacle to become the Christian writers that you desire us to be and that we would just honor and glorify your name in all that we do. And we ask this in Jesus name. Amen.

Amen. Yes. Amen. Well, if this breakthrough series has been blessing you, we recommend that you get our free PDF, five Practical Tips for Christian Writers to Break Through Writer's Block. And you can Download it at trainingauthors.com forward/breakthrough. And we are just so thankful that you're joining us in this series. I know that we kind of went deep today, but I felt like it was needed, felt like it was necessary. And so thank you for joining us and we're going to continue this series. We're going to cover 12 topics in all, and if you've missed any of them, you can see all of the series@trainingauthors.com breakthrough series. So we will see you next time, everyone.

All right, see you guys.

Bye Bye.

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