#203: Breakthrough Insecurity as a Writer (Breakthrough Series)

Welcome to Kingdom Writers, where we help equip and empower Christian writers of all genres to share your unique gifts with the world. We're your hosts, C.J. and Shelli Hitz.

This podcast is filled with spiritual encouragement as well as prayers to help you overcome the resistance you face as a writer. Your story matters foreign.

Hey, Kingdom writers, this is Shelly Hitz. Welcome to the Breakthrough series. So this is going to be a series of 12 episodes that we're going to dive in deep to the obstacles that you face as a Christian writer. We covered all of these topics in our online prayer meeting episode, and now we're going to dive deep into some practical things and some scriptures that that can really help you. So I hope you enjoy this series. We did record it live on Facebook, and so you may hear us say, you know, comment here, or we're gonna have some Q and A at the end. But just know that you can always join us live over on our Facebook page, Christian Book Academy. And we also wanted to provide this on our podcast so that you can listen to these as many times as you want to help you receive Breakthrough as a Kingdom Writer. It's time to break through insecurity as a writer. So have you ever said, is my writing good enough, or do I have what it takes, or do I have the skills I need to have as a writer? Well, in this episode of the Breakthrough series, CJ and I are going to help you overcome that obstacle, Insecurity. My name is Shelly Hitz, and I'm here with my husband, cj.

Glad to be with you guys for another one of these obstacles that we're gonna break right through in prayer and helping one another and just really seeing what God's truth says.

Yes. And we always love when you interact with us and comment. So please do that as you listen to this training. And CJ's just gonna start off with our theme verse for the this episode.

Yeah. And this really. This is a powerful scripture when you really let it sink into your heart. It's 1st John 4:18, and it says, such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment. And this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. Love. And, you know, we're going to read another scripture from John. But John was one of those that knew where his security was. He had a firm identity in Christ.

Yes. And as I was really praying about this topic and this episode just really felt like God kept bringing me back to the topic of identity and Knowing who we are in Christ. Because when we're not secure in that love of the Father or our identity, that's when I think all these insecurities can crop up and can stop us in our tracks as we're writing. And I was actually looking back and there was a video I created in 2018, and I was really just sharing my testimony of what God has done in my life in this area of identity. And it was actually 2017. My theme of the whole year was identity. And so I've linked to that video so you can go back and watch it if you'd really want to be encouraged by just what God has done in my heart and my life. But I just want to encourage you also that it is layers. It's like layer upon layer upon layer. And God has been working in my own heart for probably 20 plus years on this topic of identity. And it just keeps coming up. I know, cj, you've really been, you know, just looking into this whole topic lately as well.

Yeah. And, you know, it's. It's occurred to me that we have an enemy that specializes in identity theft.

Yeah, right.

That, you know, you hear these horror stories of people having their, their identities stolen or with their credit cards and, and all kinds of things and the hassle it is to, you know, try to run those people down and, you know, not in a car, by the way. Yeah. Mean that. But to actually find these perpetrators and to get all of your stuff in order. And we have an enemy that wants to steal our identity in Christ. And there are all kinds of accusations that we buy into, like, you're not good enough, you're not going to be a good writer. Your stuff's not going to sell, you're not going to make any money. Just, you know, we start to live in this, this identity of. I'm just not measuring up. And I love John. As I mentioned, this guy knew his identity six times in his writings. And we see in the Gospel of John and also first, second, third John, and even in Revelation, you know, you just, you can almost sense that he has this firm, secure identity. John 13:23, and this is the new King James version, says this. Now, there was leaning on Jesus's bosom. And I just love that picture, you know, just your head, you know, leaning on Jesus's bosom, just resting, just secure, just relaxing. It says now there was leaning on Jesus's bosom one of his disciples whom Jesus loved, and that was John himself. And John was, you know, if you know anything about John, I Mean, he always sort of, you know, tried to make it look like he wasn't the writer. Like there was, you know, Peter and this other disciple ran to the tomb, but it was the other disciple that got there first, you know, and it was almost like he was. He was trying to be modest, but you just, like, knew that that was him. And it says that he was the one whom Jesus loved. Six times you read this in the Gospel of John. And that was something that I've been buying into lately myself. You know, I have struggled with depression at various times in my life just because maybe I wasn't happy or really truly secure in. In who Jesus was in my life, wondering if I really add up or measure up or always beating myself up for not accomplishing something or doing something very well, or at least maybe a perfectionist standard that I had set for myself. And what Jesus just keeps reminding me of, and this has probably been the last year, is that, C.J. you are the disciple that Jesus loves. I love you, C.J. you can rest in the love that I have. It's not some fragile thing that's going to fall apart. It's not like this, you know, this thing of dominoes that's going to come down, you know, with just a little tap. You can rest in the security that you were just the disciple. You know, I, C.J. am the disciple the Jesus loves. So I've just been replacing myself in those spots where I read John saying it himself, the disciple that Jesus loved. I want to encourage you to do the same thing that as you read a truth, put yourself in that situation in Scripture, even crying out in the Psalms, you know, as David cried out, put yourself in some of those things and cry out God's word as well. Live in that moment as if you. You yourself.

Can feel that emotion. And so I just want to encourage you to say, you know what, your identity can be returned when you truly believe who you are in Christ.

Amen.

And, you know, just along the lines of, you know, just continuing with who we are as writers, we need to realize that any of the skills that we have, any of the power, it's coming from God. And so there's another passage in the Old Testament where, you know, God had told Moses, you know, there's a tabernacle that needs to be built here, and I'm going to dwell in it, but here's all the specifications that need to happen for the tabernacle. And it says in Exodus 31:1 3, then the Lord said to Moses, look, I have specifically Chosen Bezalel. Now, this was a guy that was talented. Bezalel, son of Uri, grandson of Hur, of the tribe of Judah. I have filled him. That's key right there. I have filled him with the Spirit of God and giving him great wisdom, ability, and expertise in all. All kinds of crafts. Note that it was God who did all that. God gave him the power in his spirit, and he gave him all these abilities for all these different crafts. And you read on and you realize this Bezel guy was really skilled in a lot of. A lot of different things in order to help lead that project of building the tabernacle. And, you know, you and I need to realize that we can be filled and. And skilled as writers for the kingdom, but it comes from God. It's not in and of our flesh, Right. And it's really being filled. And knowing our identity comes in Christ and being filled.

Yeah. And so, you know, there is a point that, you know, we do need to continue to learn and to grow as a writer. You know, read books that will help you improve your craft of writing and, you know, take courses. That's why we have the account academy, is to provide training for you that can help you in these processes. But ultimately, the breakthrough is going to come by being filled with the Spirit, so filled and skilled. You know, if you're only relying on your skills, you're relying on your flesh, right? And so we want to walk by the Spirit and not by the flesh. Galatians 5:16 says, so I say walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. And so it requires both. And yet I know many people that God has just given them a download of what to say and what to write. And, you know, so relying on him is first and foremost, you know, but we just want to encourage you in that whole aspect that you can be given the skills but also be filled by the Spirit to do what God has called you to do for your assignment in the kingdom of heaven. And, you know, it's interesting because growing up, I would have never said that writing was a strength of mine. Now, C.J. he was actually a pretty good writer, and he was in advanced writing classes in high school and that sort of thing, but I was not. And we moved in the middle of my junior year of high school, and we went to a new school that had higher standards than when we. Where we came from. And I had always gotten straight A's. And in this new school, I wrote this English paper and I got my first C I was devastated. I'm like, what? I got a C. I'm used to getting straight A's. And what happened is that teacher actually took me under her wing. Judy withrow. Thank you, Mrs. Withrow. And she taught me how to write. And I was able to eventually, you know, get better grades. And I think I actually did get an A in that class after putting in the hard work. But English was not my best subject in school. Math and science were. And that's, you know, why I went into physical therapy in the medical field. But God has shown me, Shelley, I can use your weaknesses for my strength. Amen.

Amen.

And there's a verse that says in Second Corinthians 12:10, that's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses and in insults, hardships, persecutions and troubles that I suffer for Christ for when I am weak, then I am strong. And so even if you feel weak in this, you know, even if you feel like writing, it was never your strong point. Just know that God is able to use you right where you're at, and he's able to do it for his glory story.

Yeah. And, you know, some of you watching or listening have at some point in your life had what we call a creative injury. And that could be anything from when you were younger. Somebody told you, well, you're not a writer, you need to go into this field, or you're not an artist, you might as well just get out of, you know, the whole art thing.

You can't make money doing this. Or.

I still remember I had sort of a, an injury whenever I was in high school. I was. Basketball was the thing that I love most. And I still remember my sophomore year in high school, this, this football coach, the head football coach came up to me and he had, was his first or second year, I think it was his first year at our school. And he sort of had a reputation as being, well, essentially a jerk. And yeah, he basically came up to me one morning as I was shooting baskets. I used to come in regularly early, early morning before school and shoot baskets because I just wanted to hone my skills, get as much extra shooting in as I could. And I remember he, he slinked in, you know, through the shadows and one day he just says, you know.

Nobody'S ever, you know, gotten any kind of a scholarship or full ride scholarship, you know, in basketball since Robert Haugen. He was at the school I used at, you know, and I was, he was, you know, one of the better players in that league years before I played. And he was essentially telling me, no matter what you do, you know, nobody's gonna, you know, essentially be at that level. And I just remember thinking to myself, I. It hurt at first, but I remember thinking, I'm gonna work extra hard to prove this guy wrong. And, you know, I did eventually go on to play some college basketball, but there was something that happened inside me. And I don't know about you, maybe you've had something that was told to you that just didn't set right. It even broke something inside you. Maybe it's lingered all these years. So I just want you to know that God wants to heal that creative entry that was. Was inflicted upon you. You know, words spoken out over us that are. Especially from maybe even someone in spiritual authority, maybe someone that has been in authority over you at some point, and they kind of took advantage of their position and that authority, and it just hurt. It just flat out hurt. It was like a knife going into your stomach.

It could be a relational authority, too. So it could be teachers, could be parents, you know, people who are close to you. And I. You know, I really encourage you just to pray and ask the Lord, was. Was there anything that someone spoke over me? You're never going to amount to anything. You know, this is trash, or, you know, this isn't good enough, or, you know, all the red marks on your. You know, your paper that you turned in or whatever it was that might be the root of some of the insecurity that you're now feeling today as a writer. You know, if God came and healed that and replaced those lies with his truth, that then you could be set free and break through this. So sometimes there's a deeper thing going on.

And we've sometimes even said stuff about ourselves.

I mean, most of the time it's.

You know, how many. How many times have we repeated something in our minds? You're stupid. You're. You can't do anything right. You just aren't ever going to be successful in anything. You know, I'm. I'm speaking from experience here. I have had thoughts in my head that I know were from the pit of hell. I'm not just blaming Satan on everything, but I'm just saying that I've bitten on that bait of saying, you know, you're just not measuring up in your life. You are not where you should be, cj. You should be so much further along, and you can just spiral, you know, into this cycle of negative, stinking thinking. Those of you that have watched Shelley long enough know that she talks about stinking thinking and man, it's so true. And we just lose focus of. I am the disciple that Jesus loves. I am the disciple that Jesus loves. I am the disciple that Jesus loves. And when you rest in that, you know your daddy is proud. Yeah, he's proud of you because he's proud of his son Jesus. And if you're in Christ, he's proud of you. You're part of the family. You've been adopted. You were an orphan, I was an orphan. And yet we've been adopted based on what Jesus did for us. And we are a part of the house of God. Our Father is proud of us. And I just want to say that he's going to do more through you, more through me than we can ever think or imagine. He is going to finish the work. Yes, he who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it to the day of Christ Jesus. He's going to do it in us. And yet we have to remember, we have to fill our minds with the truth of God's word on a daily basis. This is why we put ourselves in front of God's word, to remind ourselves that, oh, that's that recording that was in my head earlier. Now that was a lie. I bit into that. And we don't have, we don't have to live in that. There is a better way for all of us to live than to have our identities robbed every single day.

Yeah. And so sometimes you may call that voice your inner critic. And so I just want to tell you today it's time to tell your inner critic they are officially unfriended. Yes.

Time to get out.

Hit that unfriend button.

And basically C.J. and I, one of the things that, you know, have really impacted us and some of the things that we've taught through the years is just replacing the lies of the enemy with God's truth. And one of the illustrations that I often use and other people have used too through the years, but is of a garden. Basically what you need to do first in a garden is to be able to recognize which plants are the life giving, fruit bearing plants, which plants are the weeds. So you have the truth of God's word and then you have the lies of the enemy, which are the weeds. And once you identify and you start to take note and you catch yourself, like C.J. said, oh, I'm starting to go into that place, place, and you catch yourself, then you can say, okay, that's a weed and I'm going to choose to uproot that weed. I'm going to choose to remove it, I'm going to choose to stop it right there and I'm going to replace it with the truth. I'm the disciple that Jesus loves or whatever the truth is for you. In that particular instance, when I am weak, he is strong. You know, it can be so many different scriptures that then you can reword or rework and you can use that then to combat those thoughts and the stinking thinking. I taught this in depth in one of the videos that goes with my book, Broken Crayons Still Color. So you can definitely go into that in more depth there. But we definitely recommend, you know, just really asking God what are the lies that I've been believing, uproot them and then replant new plants that are life bearing, life giving plants from the truth of God's Word.

Yeah, and I love this quote from one of my favorite authors, who is a guy named Brandon Manning who passed away a few years ago. Some of you are familiar with his books, the Ragamuffin Gospel, Obvious Child. He's got several books that in my mind are classics. But one of the most famous quotes is, you are loved for you, for. For who you are, not for who you should be. For none of us are as we should be. And how many of us can say that? I mean, we are not finished yet.

Amen.

And yet in Christ we are fully accepted, fully loved. And we can rest in that. We are the disciples that Jesus loves. And so, you know, I just want to encourage you again with this truth of First John 4:18, which says such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment. And this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. And we know that Jesus says, you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. I want to encourage you to meditate on that verse, you know, to realize that you are so fully loved that love can help drive out that fear, that insecurity. As you rest in there, just read it over and over and over again. Just meditate on it, chew on it, get that full flavor, just like a good piece of jerky, you know, you're chewing on it, you're turning it over in your mouth, you're pulling out that flavor. Just, just meditate and ask yourself, Lord, or ask the Lord, is there any area of my life that I am not fully experiencing your love? Because he says here, he says this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. And just ask yourself, where is it in my life, Lord, I am not experiencing your perfect love. And he'll show you, I believe it with all my heart. He'll show you a specific area, or he'll bring up a former injury that just needs healed. It needs his healing touch. And after that, you move forward. It's behind, as Paul says, forgetting what's behind, moving forward to what's ahead. Christ Jesus, heavenward.

Living in that truth, can distinguish or distinguish, extinguish, you know, those lies. So rest in that. That's the truth. First John 4:18.

So, C.J. why don't you go ahead and close us in prayer?

Yeah. Lord, we just thank you so much that we can swim and in your truth, that we don't have to swim in these. These dirty ponds of lies, but we can jump in the ocean of your love and realize that we are fully surrounded, we are fully encompassed. Every part of us is saturated with your love. And we can rest in that. We are the disciples that Jesus loves. And I just pray for anyone that's experiencing insecurity or has had wounding from former creative injuries done to them. Maybe they just have not been able to overcome those lies or that insecurity. And it's. It's paralyzed them in a lot of ways. I can relate to that. I have been paralyzed at various times in my life where I just was not moving. I was stuck, just like in quicksand. And I ask, Lord, that you would speak clearly into each and every person's situation, their unique story. And I pray you bring healing, Lord. May your healing power touch the very area that has paralyzed each and every one of these writers. From sharing the story, sharing truths that you have already laid on their hearts. They know they're to get those things out. They know that you're going to bless many readers through those things. It's just a matter of taking those steps forward. And I just pray that you would bring complete healing and that we really would find our identity as the disciples that Jesus loves. And we want to ask this in Jesus wonderful name. Amen.

Amen. And another resource I was just thinking about that really impacted me with identity is called The Story of WiFi by Alan Arnold. And it's written in a fiction setting, and so it really draws you into story to teach you these concepts of identity. So I would highly recommend, you know, you're a writer, and writers tend to be readers, so I'd highly recommend looking into that book, story of, with, or even one of Brennan Manning's books, Abba's Child, but really just asking the Lord, because this is something we can take to learn until we, we reach heaven, right? It's layer upon layer. No matter how many years you've been a Christian, I feel like I've been a Christian almost my whole life. I was baptized at 7. I was in church the first Sunday of my life. Really started living for God my junior year of high school. But, you know, I'm still learning and I'm still growing in this area. And so, you know, that's another resource. And we did put links to, to some of the things we talked about and other resources to look at in the description or the show notes of this episode. So check that out. And if this series, this breakthrough series has been blessing you, we recommend that you Download our free PDF. It's titled 5 Practical Tips for Christian Writers to Break Through Writer's Block. And you can get that@trainingauthors.com forge, slash, breakthrough. And thank you so much for joining us on this series. We still have some more to go. We are just wanting to just help each and every one of you break through these obstacles and so you can write the book that God has called you to write. So thanks for being with us here today. We'll see you next time.

All right, God bless you guys.

Bye Bye.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Kingdom Writers. We believe that you, as a Christian writer, have a specific role to play in the Kingdom of Heaven to impact lives for eternity.

And because of this, we choose to pour out our lives into encouraging writers like you to not only tell your stories, but to take the courageous step of self publishing your stories in books that will outlive you and leave behind a powerful legacy. This podcast is sponsored by Christian Book Academy, where we help you give birth to your books. We invite you to join our community of Kingdom writers.