#206: Regain Control of Your Time (Breakthrough Series)

Welcome to Kingdom Writers, where we help equip and empower Christian writers of all genres to share your unique gifts with the world. We're your hosts, C.J. and Shelley Hitz.

This podcast is filled with spiritual encouragement as well as prayers to help you overcome the resistance you face as a writer. Your story matters foreign.

Hey, Kingdom writers, this is Shelly Hitz. Welcome to the Breakthrough series. So this is going to be a series of 12 episodes that we're going to dive in deep to the obstacles that you face as a Christian writer. We covered all of these topics in our online prayer meeting episode, and now we're going to dive deep into some practical things and some scriptures that that can really help you. So I hope you enjoy this series. We did record it live on Facebook, and so you may hear us say, you know, comment here, or we're gonna have some Q and A at the end. But just know that you can always join us live over on our Facebook page, Christian Book Academy. And we also wanted to provide this on our podcast so that you can listen to these as many times as you want to help you receive Breakthrough. As a Kingdom writer, have you ever said, but there's not enough time to write, or have you felt like you had to put your writing on the back burner because of a lack of time? Well, if. So, this episode is for you. Welcome to the Breakthrough series. My name is Shelly Hitz. I'm here with my husband cj.

Great to be with you Another week, guys.

And today's topic is this obstacle of a lack of boundaries. All right, I said it.

And to be honest, I was just telling CJ before we recorded this that, you know, I think a lot of you already know what to do, but it's a matter of doing it. And we're just going to give you some practical tips, but also some encouragement today in this whole area of setting healthy boundaries. And this is the Breakthrough series. And what makes this different from training for writers is that it comes from a spiritual aspect, a kingdom of God mindset. And so we integrate the power of scripture and prayer to help you break through these obstacles. If you're watching in a place where you can comment and interact with us, please do nothing encourages us more. We love that you're here with us, and so CJ is going to help us just dive right in to this topic.

Yeah. As always, we want to start with sort of a theme scripture for this topic. And today's theme scripture comes from Matthew 6:33, and it says, seek the kingdom of God above all Else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. And I want to just emphasize three words in there above all else, because we could all fill in the blank in terms of what our above all else is, the things that are in our lives. But I think each of us, you know, as we read a verse like that, we each need to just look at every activity that we're involved in.

Simply lay it down before the Lord. You know, are we willing to lay that thing down before the Lord and ask him for wisdom on what we should continue or discontinue? Because there are some things that are good to keep, and there are some things that it's okay to let them go. The world's going to keep spinning.

The world won't stop if you let go of that thing.

Then I love this verse as well. In Ephesians, chapter 5, it's actually a couple verses. Ephesians 5, 15, 17. And again, this is the NLT translation. So be careful how you live. Don't live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. And, you know, the new King James version actually uses the words redeeming the time. You know, where you see that? Make the most of every opportunity, redeeming the time. And how many know that God can actually redeem our time or he can redeem what's been lost, what we thought could never be revived. Yeah. He's able to restore that as. As one part of Scripture says, you can restore what the locusts have eaten.

Yeah. God keeps reminding me over and over, he's like, Shelley, I can do more in one day than what you can achieve in an entire lifetime.

Yeah. And so, you know, again, just emphasizing some words in that scripture, but understand what the Lord wants, want you to do. And that's always hit me, you know, when I've read these scriptures before. That was the part that really had spoken to me was, wow. You know, that actually implies that we can actually put forth an effort and an intentionality to actually know what God's will is, to actually understand.

What he wants us to do. It doesn't just necessarily come, you know, without a little bit of seeking him pushing in, setting aside time to hear his voice, and uninterrupted, undistracted kind of time. That's when we begin to hear that still small voice. God doesn't want to compete with all the noise in our lives. He wants us to get alone he wants us to enjoy intimacy with him. And it's in those times that we even get the God ideas as opposed to just settling for the good ideas.

So it's so easy to go through our day thoughtlessly to also pull out another word that Paul uses in that Ephesians passage. You know, we've got endless distractions to occupy our time and many of these things, if we're really honest with ourselves, have little lasting value.

Yeah, I heard Cal Newport say, or I read it in his new book Digital Minimalism. He said that many times we'll look at social media and if there's any value at all in that platform, then we think we have to keep it because we think if there's any value, then it's good. But he said what we need to do is weigh out the value of what we're getting to, the distraction and the other things that are happening. Because you know, the, maybe the comparison, we've talked about that in another episode or, or the other things that happen as a result. We use social media, we're talking to you right now over social media. So we believe that you can use social media in a good way, but just to really say what is the good in that. And it's very powerful when you can learn to say a two letter word which is no. It is so hard though, right? I found like a lot of these episodes, CJ tie into one another so you know, you could go back to that people pleasing episode we did. And a lot of the lack of boundaries can be tied, I think to some people. Pleasing and not wanting to let people down. But one of my mentors said you can't complain about what you allow. Ouch. Now that's sounds kind of harsh. But you know what, you have control of a lot of your time now, of course, like if you have a job, you have to be at that job a certain amount of time and there's certain things that you can't control. But we all have discretionary time that we decide what to do with. So I want to ask you a few questions. Are you a person that often says yes when someone asks you to volunteer? Here's the caveat. Even when you don't want to or you know, you don't have the time. So are you that person that will always say yes? Are you the person that everyone in your family depends on? So I've heard people say this, but you know, my aunt depends on me, my mom depends on me, my kids depend on me. Are you that person? Do you often do things for others instead of doing them for yourself. Now, I'm going to tell you, most of you in my audience are givers. You are generous with your time, and I want to tell you right now, I love that about you. You know, that is so amazing that you give and you're generous. But I also want to say that there's a difference between generosity and codependency. Do you know what codependency is? It means when you're doing something because you. You want that person. You know, you have this connected relationship with them, and, you know, you don't want to disappoint that person.

Yeah.

So are you putting, you know, certain things above God in that? And, you know, there can come to a point where it's like you can't give from an empty cup. Look into my eyes or listen to me right now, wherever you're listening to me, you cannot give from an empty cup. God has spoken that over me many times, because I'm just like you. I'm a giver. I like to do and give. And yet we also need to be filled up. We need to have margin in our lives. Just like a flower bed. If you plant flowers too close together.

They'Re going to snuff each other out. You know, they're not going to have the room to grow and flourish. And so we need that margin. We need the extra time for stillness, for quiet, for unexpected things, for our writing.

And sometimes that requires saying the word no.

Yeah. It reminds me of a story that God just brought to my mind. And I'm not necessarily proud to share this story, but it's not one of my, you know, highlights, you know, of my life in terms of a high point. But years ago, I used to work in an organization called Youth for Christ. And there was a season where I also had the opportunity to be a golf coach for one of the local schools that I actually worked with in Ohio. And, you know, the. The club director of this local golf course came to me and said, hey, cj, I think you. You'd be a fine coach. And I said.

You'Re kidding me. I don't even know anything about golf. You know, I mean, I play a little bit, but I don't know enough to coach. These kids could, you know, beat me easily. And he says, no, I'm not talking about that. He says, you're already a mentor to several people. He says, I think you could just look at it as a mentor role. So all that to say, I added that to my plate, and I was Already keeping really busy with, you know, stuff at church. My role at Youth for Christ, working with two local schools, high schools and junior highs.

That was a season. I think we were on almost every committee at the church. We were leading, you know, Bible studies and Sunday school classes. We were in plays and musicals and choir. And like, my parents were the pastors. So we got, you know, we were the ones that said yes to everything.

So anyway, I remember there was a period where I got three speeding tickets in a course of 45 days. And I'd never received a speeding ticket in my life up to that point. The first 10 years of my driving record were clean.

And you were very proud of that. And you kind of rubbed it into me because I had gotten tickets. And then you got three. Like, God humbled you.

Oh, that was a. That was a butt whoop in there that I got. It was a good humbling. But I was very thankful I didn't have to spend time in jail.

I was kind of worried you were.

Going to have actually. Unfortunately, the judge gave me, you know, 30 days of suspending my driver's license. And if I would have gotten another ticket within the next year, that's when I would have had to serve 30 days in jail. And I'll never forget just the humbling aspect of, you know, knowing that my name was in the local paper the next day and the. The local crime blotter and kids are coming up to me like, hey, we saw your name, you know, in the. The actual. In the paper. And I just remember feeling embarrassed. And yet it was. It was a time of humbling it. Well, it was also a wake up call because I had very little margin in my life at the time. I was going from one thing to the next. You were too busy hurrying to the next thing. Practice. Got to get to this meeting. And, you know, it was just.

You know, it wasn't a proud moment in my life.

You needed more margin. And, you know, at that point, we both needed to learn how to say no more often, because we've learned that the hard way.

I love this quote by the great pastor. He passed away years ago, but Adrian Rogers. Adrian Rogers said, if Satan can't make you bad, he'll make you busy.

Yeah.

And, man, isn't that true. And though we can't blame the devil for everything, you know, the devil made me do it. We can't. We can't do that. There is a reason that Jesus refers to Satan as the thief in John 10:10. How many know he loves to steal Our Time. If we allow. And Shelley mentioned that earlier about the allowing. You know, he. If we allow that time, he'll be happy to take that time and put it into a whole lot of wasteful kinds of activities. And so, you know, we usually make the time for things that we enjoy, don't we, Shelly?

Yeah.

I mean, we find a way to make that part of our schedule. You know, we all have 168 hours in a week. And by the way.

How many know that not every aspect of publishing a book is actually going to be considered fun, you know?

Right.

But the investment is well worth the time. Right. When we finish that, when we hit the publish button, we know that we've completed it.

We hold the book in our hands. It's so rewarding.

We've been obedient to the Lord, you know, it's worth it. And yet it's a battle getting to that point.

Yeah. And so I think most of you know, okay, I need to set healthy boundaries. Or maybe I'm, you know, spending too much time on social media, or I'm saying yes to too many committees at church, or, you know, I'm helping my neighbors more than I really have the time to do that I think most of us kind of know. But why do you think it is that we have such a hard time setting healthy boundaries? I think that there's a couple reasons. I alluded to it earlier, that I think one of the things is we're afraid of people's judgment. So that ties back into people pleasing. You know, just worried what people will think. Like, if we suddenly start changing and we're not volunteering for every single thing at church, what are people gonna think? Look at her. She's so selfish. She's working on her book instead of helping with the children's ministry. You know, and it's like, well, that's just as powerful of a ministry as. But, you know, it can get into our minds. And then we can even start to put words in people's mouths that they're not even thinking or saying. We start portraying and saying, oh, so and so is going to start thinking this of me or that of me. And it's like they're not even thinking of you as often as you think they are. But I also think that we struggle with something called FOMO. Do you know what that stands for, C.J.

Fear? Missing out?

FOMO. We want it. We don't want to say no, because then what, you know, we might miss out if we're not on social media all the time. We might miss out on something if we're not scrolling or if we're not, you know, attending every event, the church, what are we going to miss out on? And you know what? There are certain things that God has for each one of us in our day, in our lives. There are the best, and then there's good. And, you know, I just encourage you to keep pressing into the Lord, what is the best. And if you have to give up some good things to pursue the best, like writing and publishing your book, you know, just keep bringing that back to the Lord. And just like, lord, I give this to you because those moments are still going to come up. You're going to still feel that, you know, it's. And you have to feel the feelings of maybe not being there for everything you want to, or maybe not being connected in the way that you necessarily have been in the past. But our time on Earth is short, and we all have 24 hours a day. That's it. No more, no less. So no matter what your financial situation is right now, we all have the same amount of time.

Mm.

So I encourage you to really ask the Lord press in, what is it that I am to do today? And like, for me, at this point in my life, I'm 44. You know, I'm. I'm getting close to like half a century.

And at this point, I'm closer than you are.

I know he's older. Respect your elders. Right, Right. But I'm at the point where I don't. I don't have time to waste around. You know, it's like, I've wasted enough time in my life. And so if it is not a for sure yes, then it is a for sure no. And so, you know, it's really freeing when you take these steps, but I'm with you. I know, I know it's really, really, really hard. And you might want to just start with something small, something little, something, you know, just something that you can just start to say no to and. And see that snowball grow.

And, you know, healthy boundaries are actually a good thing. They are actually help protect, you know, what's valuable. For example, a castle will be protected by a large wall or a moat.

You know, in a real life example of this might look like this. You know, imagine if I tried to take your pin. Probably not such a big deal. But if I tried to take your phone. Whoa, that's a whole other issue. Right. Because there's a boundary there. We deem that phone more valuable than that simple pen. And so we do want to protect what's valuable. Boundaries protect things that are valuable. Boundaries also protect.

One of the most valuable things that we have, which is time, what we're talking about in this episode. And so we don't need to say.

We need to learn to say no. As Shelley mentioned earlier, you know that two letter word, no. It's good to say that and say yes to the best. You know, it's really something that takes practice. And yet it's so freeing when we can get to that spot and we don't feel the tinges of guilt when we do say no.

Yeah. And Steve Jobs had one, was known for his success with Apple. And the entrepreneur.com site is cited to say that one of the keys to Steve Jobs success was that he said no to 1,000 things. He kept his focus on a few products, on a few things to do those really, really well and to really make an impact, a big impact in those things instead of trying to do a million things. Okay. And I've been there before too, where I was doing like seven different business models. Literally. Like, I remember when I hired my first business coach, she had me submit everything I was doing. And I think she was just trying to be nice, but she was like, Shelly, that's like seven different things. And we need to really find, like, what are you going to find focus on. And it was as a result of that coaching that I started actually deleting websites. I actually started closing down certain income streams and so that we could really focus on mentoring writers. It was one of the best things that I did. But I will tell you, it was so painful to let those things go, especially the things that were actually making us some money. You know, in that moment, it was so hard. There's a book called the Pumpkin Plan, and it's really, really, really good for business about focusing on your big one big pumpkin. Like, everything from the vine, all of the nourishment goes to that one pumpkin so it can grow really big instead of feeding 10 pumpkins and each growing small.

Well, if we quickly just think along that same line regarding pruning. You know, the whole concept of pruning a tree, it doesn't make sense. You're like, man, you know, you really butchered that tree. Yeah, but when you, when you prune back a tree, it actually allows for more growth to happen. It allows for other shoots to take root, to sprout and for the water and the resources to get to areas that maybe were crowded out before. And so again, you know, pruning is Part of the whole process. And it hurts. It hurts the tree at first.

But it allows our own lives for more growth.

But, man, you see the fruit come in due season.

Yeah. And I encourage you to go back and read John 15. And I will tell you, I literally had to grieve and to cry every time I let go of something that I wanted to do or that was good. And so realize, you know, you are going to have to feel that grieving and feel the pain or sometimes or whatever. But no, it is so worth it. So what is it that you need to say no to in your life? If you're willing, post that in the comments because we would love to be able to pray for you and encourage you, but, you know, whatever we monitor and track, we manage and, you know, think about it. Have you ever kept like a food diary or a budget? I know CJ has before and he has a story about that.

Yeah. You know, many of you know that I'm an avid runner. And, you know, over the years I've actually lost over 50 pounds from where I used to be when I before I started running. But part of my success in losing that weight was keeping a daily food journal. And it wasn't anything complicated. I actually used those little yellow sticky notes.

Yeah, we love sticky notes. Right.

One per day. And I would just keep on one per day. And every time I eat something, I put that on there. I found out exactly how many calories that was. And I did that over time for a season because it was very freeing to see right in front of me, oh, that's what I ate and that's how many calories are in front of me. And if I, you know, went overboard, then I realized it. I only had myself to blame, you know, if I went overboard. But it was very freeing to put that out there on paper writing to where I could see where all of my calories were going to. And of course, over time, I tried to refine it to where I allowed for the most nutrient density so that I wasn't hungry at the end of the day. If I had only allotted myself a certain amount of calories, I'd be like, man, I want to squeeze as many nutrients into these, you know, calories as I can. So I'm not going to bed starved. But again, it was just a freeing way of capturing everything that I was putting into my mouth.

Right. So we have a 48 hour time tracking challenge for you if you're willing to try this. It's just for two days. We're not Asking you to do it for the rest of your life. Two days, that's it. If you're willing, just type I'm in in the comments and this is what we're going to ask you to do. And I've done this many times. You know, when I start feeling like things are out of control again, I go back to this and I'm like, okay, where is my time going? So number one, I want you to track how you spend every waking minute for the next 48 hours. I know that sounds obsessive, but again, it's just for two days. And you can use your planner, a notebook or a note taking device, whatever you want to use. And then number two, once you've done that, watch for trends. So this is huge. You know, I think you'll quickly see in just 48 hours where your biggest time leaks are. And for me lately, you know, I've realized that social media, that's an ongoing one for me. I can get pull, I can get sucked into it easy. But also I love watching like shows like hgtv, Food Network, things like that. And those aren't bad in and of themselves. But what I was realizing is I was just starting to get consumed by watching them. So it was just really taking up a bunch of my time that really could be spent on other things even more fulfilling self care. So really like doing things that like that felt good in the moment because it was like just fun and creative. And I'm not saying I can't watch a show every now and then, but what would really fill me, you know, maybe going on a walk with CJ or going on a hike or doing some art or, you know, having a conversation, talking with my mom on the phone or my sister or you know, what's something that would really fill me so, you know, I think in 48 hours you're going to see some of the biggest trends. And then those of you that have been following me for a while know that I'm a huge fan of the Pomodoro technique. So I like to say pomodoro equals productivity. And we actually teach this in our free PDF for this series. So I want to encourage you to download it because we have a Pomodoro worksheet. It's@trainingauthors.com breakthrough. It's a great worksheet my graphic designer created for you and it's free, but basically pomodoro. You going to do work for about 25 minutes, take a 5 minute break. 25 minutes, 5 minute break. After a couple hours, you need to take a longer break of about 30 minutes. You turn everything else off. You're just focused on one task. And this is huge for getting a lot done. But then when you combine the pomodoro with time blocking, it is even. It takes it all to the next level. Time blocking is where you work in, like, I like to say batching, like, where you're batching your similar tasks. So maybe, you know, you have certain types of. Maybe you write blog posts and so one day you sit down and you write four blog posts in a row. You're in the writing mode, you get in the flow and you do all that. Maybe one day you sit down and you kind of schedule out like, and start to write out what your social media posts will be for the next week. And even if you're posting organically and in the time or whatever, you can still prepare ahead of time. So when you combine that time blocking with the pomodoro, it is powerful. And then the last thing I just want to mention, I'm a huge fan of the 8020 rule. Again, I did not come up with this, but 20% of your efforts are going to produce 80% of your results. So if you can start watching and seeing like what 20% are giving me the 80% results that I want, and then you start focusing more on that 20%, it's going to really give you much more results than just trying to scramble and to do all the things you know, especially when you're trying to market your book and you're trying to do all the different marketing techniques, if you just really keep an eye and see what is really working for me and do more of that instead, instead of trying to do everything, you're going to notice it will free up some of your time.

Yeah. And, you know, one little practice that I've mentioned in a previous episode that I begun implementing. And again, I don't hit it every single day, but I've been. I've noticed that when I do really makes a difference, you know, just the way your day starts. But after I wake up, you know, I spend the first hour just in reading the word in prayer, maybe reading something else that's an accompanying thing, a book that I might be reading that's encouraging spiritually. And I do, I do this the first hour without checking my phone. And I think that's really key, is that if we can have an uninterrupted first hour of the day, that's just with the Lord soaking in his word Marinating.

You know, just, just.

Or even if you talking to him, 15 minutes or 30 minutes, whatever time you have.

And this is just me. This is just. You know what I've noticed? You know, I think it makes a difference in terms of the way the rest of the day goes.

Yeah.

And so once you do open up the phone, one thing leads to the next. Email, social media, checking Instagram, whatever it might be. And it just. Pretty soon you're like, Whoa, 20 minutes just went by.

Yeah.

And then your mind's kind of, you know, maybe something triggered you in a negative way again. It just helps to kind of say, okay, I'm going to keep my phone plugged in. I'm going to have it right by me, and I'm just going to spend that time uninterrupted, man. It's just like there's. There's. There's a different piece that happens, and it sets your whole day in motion. And so we're at that point now where, as John 8:32 says, then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. And today's truth, again comes from Matthew 6:33, which is Seek the kingdom of God. Remember those three words, above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. And that's really what we want to do. Are we putting him above all else? Are we seeking his kingdom? Are we seeking eternal things above all else? And let's just close in prayer, you know, as we leave this. This whole area in His, in his hands. Lord, we thank you so much that you are.

You're. You're even above time, you're outside of time, and yet you've given us this time as a boundary, as even a means to say, okay, what am I going to do in this 24 hours or the 168 hours that I have in a given week? Lord, I pray that you would help us distinguish. And that's wisdom. Give us the wisdom to distinguish between good and best, Lord. Give us the ability to see where we're wasting time. And, Lord, help us to redeem the time. Help us to capture those minutes that seem to be just.

Leaking out and we seem to miss where they're going. Lord, I just pray that you would redeem it, that you would even restore time that has been wasted and allow us to be productive in ways we never would have imagined in short amounts of time. You know, as Shelley has mentioned, you can accomplish more in one day than we can in a lifetime. And I pray, Lord, that we would be able to live that out. And I pray you help us break through this issue, this obstacle of lack of boundaries and the issue of wasting time. Lord, help us. We can't do this without you, Lord. Give us your supernatural ability to do the things that we can't do and we'll give you all the glory and the honor. We ask this in Jesus name. Amen.

Amen. And Lord, I just pray that you would give courage to each person right now to say no and to put down their phone or to delete the apps from their phone in between or whatever they need to do, to say no to an activity at church or to a neighbor or a family member and really just put the priority on what, what you have for them. And Lord, we just pray right now that you would just each person that is listening to our voice with courage, with boldness and allow them to be brave in this area of time and setting boundaries, to take the steps that I know right now, God, that you're already pricking their hearts. I think even before they started listening to this, they already knew even before they do the time tracking challenge. But Lord, we just pray right now that you would just give them the boldness and the courage to do these things. And we just pray this in Jesus name. Amen.

Amen.

So we just love you. We are cheering you on. Know that we are in this with you. It has taken me almost three years to really get a control of social media. So I get it like I am a recovering addict from social media. So, you know, and C.J. and I have been in seasons like we talked about earlier where we were saying yes to everything. So, you know, we've really had to learn a lot of things and we are still on this journey. So if this Breakthrough series has been ministering to you and encouraging you, we encourage you to Download our free PDF, 5 practical tips for Christian Writers to Break Through Writer's Block. You'll also be able to download our Pomodoro worksheet and the 15 Prayers for Christian Writers PDF. It's now ready for you guys. And so when you sign up, you'll get that@trainingauthors.com breakthrough and if you've missed any of the episodes in this series, you can catch the entire series@trainingauthors.com breakthrough series and we will see you next time.

Happy writing, guys.

Bye bye.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Kingdom Writers. We believe that you as a Christian writer have a specific role to play in the Kingdom of Heaven to impact lives for eternity.

And because of this, we choose to pour out our lives into encouraging writers like you to not only tell your stories, but to take the courageous step of self publishing your stories in books that will outlive you and leave behind a powerful legacy. This podcast is sponsored by Christian Book Academy where we help you give birth to your books. We invite you to join our community of Kingdom writers.