#208: Letting Go of Writing Regrets (Breakthrough Series)

Welcome to Kingdom Writers, where we help equip and empower Christian writers of all genres to share your unique gifts with the world. We're your hosts, C.J. and Shelley Hitz.

This podcast is filled with spiritual encouragement as well as prayers to help you overcome the resistance you face as a writer. Your story matters foreign.

Hey, Kingdom writers, this is Shelly Hitz. Welcome to the Breakthrough series. So this is going to be a series of 12 episodes that we're going to dive in deep to the obstacles that you face as a Christian writer. We covered all of these topics in our online prayer meeting episode and now we're going to dive deep into some practical things and some scriptures that that can really help you. So I hope you enjoy this series. We did record it live on Facebook and so you may hear us say, you know, comment here or we're gonna have some Q and A at the end. But just know that you can always join us live over on our Facebook page, Christian Book Academy. And we also wanted to provide this on our podcast so that you can listen to these as many times as you want to help you receive Breakthrough. As a Kingdom Writer, have you felt like you've missed your chance with writing or do you ever feel behind, like you wish that you would have gotten more writing done? And so today's episode is for you. This is one of our episodes in our breakthrough series and my name is Shelly Hitz and I'm here with my husband cj.

Hey again guys.

And we're gonna talk today about letting go go of writing regrets. And this is actually, I think, going to be a very powerful episode. And one of the things that really makes our breakthrough series so powerful is that we combine scripture and prayer with those practical tips to help you overcome the obstacles you face. I was recently at church and someone that was had come to our pre service prayer meeting, CJ and I helped know with that. And she was talking to me about how she had been wanting to write a book and she knew that God had asked her to write this book for years and years and years, but she has kept putting it off and off. And that evening I was really able to encourage her with some of what we're going to even talk about tonight. And she came back the next week and she was like, Shelley, you have no idea how much your encouragement meant. She's like, I am writing again. God has confirmed I'm supposed to go forward with this book. And so we are just praying right now that you also receive a release. As we were praying before we got on Today, that was the word God gave me for you, is a release. And one of my mentors has said, you know, sometimes you have to let go and release before you can receive. So I really believe that there's some of you, that there is stuff from your past or there's stuff from your writing routines and habits or things that have happened in your writing, that it is time to release that so that you can receive the fresh manna from heaven, the fresh things that God has for you. And so I just want to encourage you today that nothing is ever wasted in the kingdom of God. No matter what your situation has been, no matter if it's been 20 years ago that God has told you to write the book and you still haven't written it, or, you know, whatever's happened in your life, nothing is wasted in the kingdom of heaven. Amen.

Amen.

And what God keeps telling me over and over and over, and you may have already heard me say this, he keeps saying, shelley, I can accomplish more in one moment than you can achieve in an entire lifetime. So if you're feeling behind, or if you're feeling that regret of not starting your book earlier, guess what? God has got this. He can accomplish more in one moment than what you can achieve in a whole lifetime of striving. So let's let go of the striving, and let's ask God to empower us to move forward in everything he has for us. And our theme scripture for today's episode comes from Jeremiah 29:11. I think a lot of you are familiar with this, for I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Yeah. And you know, just that scripture, those of you that are familiar with that whole passage, you know, when you read that, you realize that Jeremiah is actually, you know, being used to share these words with people who are actually exiles. They're actually taken captive. And it was as a consequence for, you know, them just basically saying, we don't want God. And it was. It was essentially a punishment. But what Jeremiah was doing was giving them hope for the future. That one day, within 70 years. It was 70 years, they were captives, that one day there would be a fulfillment of God's plans in their lives. Now, I'm not saying that it's going to be 70 years for you and I, hopefully not.

Right.

But what I want to do is just to say that they were in a bleak situation. Jeremiah was speaking words of hope to them, to say, hey, one Day. God has incredible things after this time of sort of, you know, having to be in exile. He's got some great things for you. You know, you might remember in the last episode that we mentioned that the enemy hates our beginnings, and he does everything possible to sort of nip a beginning in the bud, to sort of dash our beginnings so that it doesn't continue, momentum doesn't move forward. Well, I'm here to say that he actually loves pasts. He loves pasts, and many times he will go out of the way to remind us of our past failures. And yet we serve a God who wants to remind us of our future. And, you know, Philippians 3:13, Paul said this very well. He said, no, dear brothers and sisters, I have not reached it. But I focus on this one thing. Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.

Amen.

What lies ahead. You know, Paul made mistakes, and he. He had Christians killed, you know, because he thought he was doing God's work. He called himself the chief of sinners. And yet look at the fruit in that man's life as a result of being yielded to God and saying, okay, I give up my way of doing things. I'm going to do things your way, Lord.

Amazing.

And, you know, those of you that are athletes.

You realize that athletes need to have a short memory. If they. If they make a mistake on a play, they got to be able to move forward, forget about that play, and move ahead. You know, when I was a kid, six years old, actually, I was playing t bowl, I had no idea really what I was doing. My dad signed me up. I was on the Myrtle Creek Hornets, you know, in a little League in Myrtle Creek. And my very first hit, I hit the ball, went out in center field, and I'm running down to first. And of course, my mom and my grandma, they're embarrassed when I think about this story, you know, today they were there in the stands. I ran down that chalk line. I went right through first base. And guess what? I kept running until that chalk line ended out in right field. And oh, my goodness, eventually I got tagged out because I went too far out.

He just thought you were supposed to keep following the line and not, you.

Know, not realizing I'm supposed to round and go to second or at least round off to the right after I get to first base. But anyway, we laugh about it today, but imagine if that would have just stuck with me for years to come in terms of, oh, I can never get past that. I made a mistake, would have never experienced the highs, you Know, that would later come in my little League years of baseball. But athletes, pro or amateur, have to move past those mistakes. They have to have short memories. And we as writers need to have short memories as well. Otherwise we just get hung up and we're not able to move past. And again, another scripture just to remind us of this truth first, John 1:9. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness or all wickedness, it says. And so we serve a God that wants to give us a spiritual shower to help us to move on, to be clean and forget about those past regrets that we've had.

Yeah, and it was interesting because I knew we were going to talk about this topic. And, you know, it depends on what your regret is about. Sometimes it can be something that you've done, sometimes it can just be something that happened, life circumstances. But sometimes there are specific moments where we get a little rebellious and God has asked us to write something or to do something, and we just haven't done it. That's. You know, I've talked about this a lot, but that happened with me with my broken crayons still color book. Started writing it, and then I was just like, this is too hard. This is getting too, like, emotionally, like, close. I don't know. And then the spiritual battle and everything, I just. I was like, nope, I'm gonna go do something different. And I didn't do it. And so, you know, sometimes there is that moment where we need to ask God for his forgiveness, or we need to come to God and say, okay, you know, I'm ready. I'm ready to do this now, you know, And I was reading this morning from Psalm 32, so knowing we were going to talk about this, that was interesting. If you want to go back and read it on your own, you can read Psalm 32, verses 1 through 5. And David is talking about just what it felt like to, you know, have these regrets and these sins and, you know, then what it felt like to really receive that freedom and that forgiveness. Well, I looked up verse four in the Passion translation, and they said it this way, and it was. I really feel like it can relate to us with our writing and how our writing can dry up in these circumstances as well when we live in regret. So it says, the pain never let up. For your hand of conviction was heavy on my heart. My strength was sapped. My inner life dried up like a spiritual drought within my soul. And I just want to tell you, sometimes When God has asked us to do something and we have not done it yet, you know, there's. There's a chance that. Or if we're living in this regret and we're carrying all of this stuff from the past that we're not meant to carry, there is a chance that our spiritual life can dry up, but also our writing life can dry up. Right. I remember I was at a.

It was some sort of event for a nonprofit. They're raising money. And their speaker was talking about, how many times, if you haven't heard from God recently.

Go back and see if there's something he's asked you to do that you haven't done yet. And I, at that moment was feeling like a little bit of a block between me and God. And so I was like, okay, God, is there something that you asked me to do that I haven't done yet? Is there something, some area I need to obey or, you know, what do I need to do? And immediately Holy Spirit brought it to my mind. There had been a huge church split. My dad was the pastor at the time. There was a lot of nastiness that went on. Anyone that's been in a church split knows it just isn't pretty. And there were some leaders, men, leaders in the church that I really felt like God had asked me to reach out to personally and asked them for forgiveness. I was like, but they're the ones that need to ask me for forgiveness. They're the ones that were slandering my dad. They're the ones that were saying things about our family and the Lord's like, but, Shelly, you were judging them. You know, you need to ask them for their forgiveness. Well, I put it off, and I didn't do it because I didn't want to. It felt too hard. It was like, these are like, it's men. And it's like, I don't know, it just was weird. But then at that moment, when that pastor was saying, okay, if you haven't heard from God lately, see if there's something you need to do to obey and do it. And so I was like, okay, Lord, I'm going to obey. And I went. And within, like, I think it was within two days, I had literally been able to talk on the phone to all five of those men. And.

All but one in return asked me for my forgiveness. There was a lot of healing that happened, a lot of restoration. Was one of the men was even in tears on the phone with me because of me taking that step of obedience. And so it may not even have been for me that I was to do that. Maybe it was for them. But then I began again to hear from God and receive from him. So if you feel dry, if it feels like some things have just dried up, you know, ask the Lord, ask him if there is something that either he's asked you to do that you haven't done yet, or any regrets that you've been carrying into the present.

Yeah. And, you know, I was meditating on a verse this past week that really gets to the core of some of this, I believe. And it's 2nd Corinthians 7:10, and I'm actually going to read the NIV and it says, godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation, leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. I love that scripture in terms of, you know, just the gentle leading of what God does in our hearts with a godly sorrow, you know, regret. I researched that even a little bit more. And regret implies an uneasiness about something that we have in the past. We're not proud of something in our past, but repentance is actually turning from that thing that we're not proud of and actually turning to a forgiving Father. And so, you know, repentance actually means to change one's mind for the better. You know, it's kind of an old word that you don't always hear in churches today. But that word repentance is really a freeing word. And I wanted to just, you know, made me think of two different guys in. In the New Testament that really handled things differently. And there was. There was a whole different end result. And those two men were Peter and Judas. So if you look at, you know, Peter, you know, Peter regretted denying Jesus three times. He denied vehemently three different times that he actually knew Jesus in order to save his own skin and not be associated with Jesus, who was about ready to be crucified, right? And it says that he actually wept bitterly after he did this, after he heard the rooster crow. After that third denial, which Jesus had already predicted, he wept bitterly. But when you look at Peter in his life, we see the fruit that Peter actually went on to repent after he was restored by Jesus. You know, after Jesus was resurrected, there's this great scene. Jesus and the guys have gone out fishing and they come back and eventually, you know, that beautiful scene where Jesus restores Peter by asking him three times, do you love me? Yeah, and restores Peter. And you just read the rest of the New Testament and you realize the fruit of Peter's life that he did repent. He moved on. He was empowered by the Holy Spirit. He had boldness. He wasn't afraid to preach the gospel to anyone, including the very people that crucified Jesus.

He was able to let go of the past. He was able to release it. Like we were talking about the beginning having that release.

Yeah. But now we look at the second guy, Judas, and it also says that Judas actually regretted. And the exact words are, he was filled with remorse. Now, that's a heavy word, remorse that really signifies just, oh, my goodness, I can't believe I did that. And he was filled with remorse over betraying his Lord ultimately to, you know, Jesus, you know, turning him over to the. To the Romans and the religious leaders. And so, you know, here Judas is, instead of actually repenting, he got stuck in that remorse. He got stuck in that regret and eventually just killed himself. And, you know, it made me think, when we choose to stay in that uneasiness of that regret, and we don't move past that, I really think in a lot of ways, we kill our writing. You know, Judas eventually killed himself. He couldn't get past that regret. But I think what happens in our own lives is when we're stuck in that regret and we don't move on to repentance, we're killing all of the creativity, killing all of our potential writing purpose that God's planted in us. And here God is saying, man, just come to me. Just come to me. Just repent. Just move away from that regret. Turn. Move toward me. I am here with open arms, just like the father with the prodigal son. I'm here, and I'm ready to help you move forward. And, you know, I love this quote by a guy named Fulton Orsler. It says, many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves, and those two thieves are regret for the past and fear of the future. And I think that so clearly demonstrates, yes, many times we do we kill ourselves by not moving past either one of those things. And so I pray that we'll actually follow in Peter's footsteps, that we're restored by Jesus and we choose to repent and say, okay, I'm gonna move forward. I'm not gonna stay wallowing in this regret.

And do you want to share just a little bit of how you've even struggled with some of those writing regrets?

Yeah. You know, I myself have been paralyzed for years over just realizing I wasted a lot of time with some of my writing. You know, I just finished a book on prayer, which is going to be My. My first book in three years. But I've had some regrets that I've been stuck in, you know, not taking action, feeling like I missed my opportunity, you know, just. Just a lot of stuff where I didn't feel like I had a whole lot to offer, that maybe God couldn't use me anymore, that maybe my best years were behind me. You know, I had some pretty good years in my twenties in ministry. My thirties were okay. I mean, I did a lot of speaking, a lot of speaking in Christian schools and churches. But if you saw me on the outside, you think, yeah, I had it together. But inside I was really pretty dry. I wasn't truly connecting with the Lord in a lot of ways. I put other things before God. I was speaking, you know, for the money, and my heart just wasn't always in it. I had messages memorized. But my 30s were just sort of mediocre. Now I'm in my mid-40s, and my 40s have been, you know, decent. But in the last three years, I've just sort of begun to make a shift where I've gone back and. And receive some healing, to be able to move forward, you know, from past mistakes or failures. Just. Just a lot of stuff that probably held me captive and didn't allow me to truly live out my creativity. It just stifled my creativity. And when you're in that, you're like, man, I don't have a whole lot to offer in terms of my writing, so I might as well just hang that on the shelf. And of course, you know, hadn't been speaking, hadn't really been sharp. So I fell back into being a running coach, put all my chips into, you know, being a competitive runner, and I was just like, hey, I'm good either way, with or without you, God. And I didn't necessarily say that out loud, but that. That was my action. Like, I'll just move forward in this thing where I don't really need to, like, you know, really draw from the well of God deeply. I can just sort of coast through life, get paid, you know, do this and that. And what happened was I just began drawing up more and more, and God was just pulling me back.

He wouldn't let you go, saying, son.

I've got more for you. Yeah, I don't want you to just stay over here. It's okay. I want you to run. I want you to enjoy that. But I've got other things for you in terms of your writing. Sharing my word, being a bold witness, you know, for. For me. And I was Able to sort of become unstuck as I began opening myself to. Whatever you want to do, Lord, what if I have two years left in my life? Or if I have 40 years left in my life, Lord, I just give it to you. I surrender. And I'll tell you, there's real freedom when you surrender that and you leave your past failures or those regrets, things you're not proud of, and you can look ahead and say, all right, Lord, let's do this. You know, whatever you. Whatever you have for me.

Yeah. And it's really been an amazing transformation to see in CJ's life. And we just know that there's many of you that, you know, there may be something for you as well. You know, that you're just like, okay, I just. I feel like there's more. And I think that's the thing with cj. He just could always sense like there was more, like there was a discontent. Right.

Yeah.

And. But yet there was still this holding on to the regrets of the past or, I've wasted too much time. It's too late for me. And here, you know, he's only like, mid-40s, right?

46. And, you know, it makes me think of Peter. You know, Peter went fishing that day, you know, after he, you know, had denied his Lord. After Jesus was crucified, he and some guys, including John, they just decided, hey, let's go fishing. And we at least know this. We've done it before, and we kind of fall back on it. And yet, you know, that. That Jesus had more. You know, he wanted Peter and John and those disciples to be fishers of men. And, you know, I can relate to Peter because in a lot of ways, I was like, hey, I'll just go back to what I know, something simp. Maybe I'm not even going to be attacked spiritually as much, because I'm not as much of a threat to the enemy. And, you know, you resign to that compromise, and yet the Lord, how many know that Jesus is in the restoration business?

Amen.

That's what he's in the business of doing, and he wants to restore my writing. He wants to restore your writing, and he doesn't want to just leave you there in the beach. He has come to restore everything that you feel like the enemy stolen. He's gonna restore it, and he's got good things ahead for you.

Yeah. And, you know, it's. It's never too late. It's never too late, you know, whether you're in your 40s or your 60s or your 80s or whatever your age is, you know, God can do more in one moment than you can achieve in a lifetime. Will you be willing to release that regret of the past so that you can receive what God has for you, what he can do? And C.J. and I were just talking after our last episode about how fulfilling it is to be able to be doing this together. You know, we. Whenever I quit my job as a physical therapist in 2011, that was our goal, is to be traveling around. It's to be. And then all this other stuff happened, the twists and turns of life. And, you know, CJ had just kind of gotten in his thing, I had gotten in my thing. And now it's like this picture of a restoration of what we really believe God had intended. And it's so powerful when we can do things together. And so it's just been so much fun for us. And just a picture, a small picture of that restoration, that it's never too late. But in my book, our book, we wrote it together. Forgiveness formula. We share the forgiveness cross. And, you know, it's a visual. And I learned this in counseling to help you remember the steps of forgiveness. A lot of times we just think there's just one step, or we don't think of everything. But the horizontal part of the cross is forgiving other people. So there may even be other people you need to forgive. This whole process that maybe have blocked your writing in some way or have spoken, spoken things over you about your writing. You'll never do this. You'll never, you know, why are you doing, you know, just the things that people even say over you? Then there's asking for God's forgiveness. So we always need to make sure that that pipeline between us and God is clear and, you know, asking his forgiveness. Like CJ mentioned, first John 1:9. And then in the forgiveness cross, there's a circle right around that center point where the two meet. And the circle represents forgiving yourself. And I remember when I had struggled with a pornography addiction. It was years afterwards that I was free. I was no longer, you know, in bondage to that, but I still was holding on to the regret of the past. And I knew better. I knew that I. I should have done differently. And some of you, it may not be something like that, like a sexual sin, but you just have known you were to do something or you knew you were to write that book, or you knew you were supposed to do something, and so you kind of beat yourself up, you know, like, oh, I knew better. I should have done different. And I was living with that regret and that stinking thinking. And the Lord, you know, really worked in my heart one day was Matthew West's song called History. And I just started crying in the car, had to pull over because I literally couldn't see to drive. And I did not hear an audible voice, but I clearly sensed the Lord. And it gets me teary eyed right now just thinking of it. Shelly, I have forgiven you. You have forgiven those you've needed to forgive, but you have not forgiven yourself. And sometimes, friends, that's the hardest person to forgive, right?

Yeah.

Especially when we feel like we know better. And so right now some of you just need to let go and say, I forgive myself. Whatever it is, whether it was something you didn't do or something you did, you know, ask, ask the Lord to help you to let that go. And there was a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders that day. And you know, it was that moment that was the turning point that then allowed me to launch into the ministry to teen girls that then led me to write my first book. That's led me to do what I do now. And I really believe if I would not have had that moment, that turning point moment, and I'm getting choked up, I wouldn't be doing what I am today. Can you see how it all connects? God wants you to be free so that you can do what you were created to do, so you can release the words to the world that you were created to release, so you can be a blessing, so that you can have an impact. And not even just that, so that you can have joy and you can have peace and that you can have that, that just no confidence, knowing that you're right where God has you. Yeah, and I love the verse in Zechariah 4:10. I talk about this a lot with writing. Do not despise small beginnings. For the Lord rejoices to see the work begin. And I just feel like someone needs to hear that today. Do not despise small beginnings. For the Lord rejoices to see the work begin. What work does he need to begin in your life today? And I want to tell you right now, there are no regrets in the kingdom. There's only hope. And we are here today to tell you there is hope. No matter what you've done, no matter what you haven't done, no matter what's been done to you or said to you, there is hope for you today. There is a fresh start. You can have a fresh start today. Just ask the Lord for forgiveness. Ask the Lord, for help fully receiving his forgiveness and forgiving yourself, and to take that first step to let the work begin. There is hope for you today.

Amen. Well, we're at that point where we again take a look at our true scripture. You know, John 8:32 says, then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. So we go back to Jeremiah 29:11. For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. And I think that's just a great word to end on right there. The very last word of that scripture, hope. You know, we don't have to stay in that city of regret. We don't have to stay stuck, you know, in the mud pit of regret. We have a savior who holds his hand out to us. He's more than strong enough to pull us out of that. That muddy pit, quicksand, whatever's held us up, and he wants to move us forward. He's in the restoration business. So why don't we go ahead and close in prayer as I'm praying, folks, Just lift up your hearts. Any regrets you might have come to your mind, anything that you've been dwelling upon, just. Just lift that up to the Lord in your own words. Maybe even write that down. Write all the things you know the enemy's really good at, helping us remember those things. Go with it. Say, okay, tell me more. Tell me more. Yeah, I'm writing it down. Go ahead and inspire me, enemy. Yeah, I'm gonna write it down. And then at the end, take a match and burn that sucker, you know, because that's no longer you. Instead, you can move forward with that plan that God has for you or.

Tear it up and throw it away. However, you know, you may not want to burn your house down, but something that you know we've said before is when Satan reminds you of your past, you remind him of his future.

That's right.

Right.

That's the truth. We know the end of the story.

Amen.

So let's pray. Lord, we just thank you so much for each and every one who is not only watching live, but is going to be listening to this replay, whether it's the video or the podcast. And, Lord, we ask that you would do a mighty work in each and every person. I pray that you would help each and every one of us leave that city of regret and not stay but to move on in the restoration that you have for us to move on with the spirit of repentance. That says, hey, I'm turning from this. And I'm turning to my father, who embraces me, cleans me up, and sets me on a new path. Lord, I just pray that you would bring breakthrough in this obstacle that no longer will it be the thing that holds up all of the writing endeavors that you have for each one of these Christian writers. But, Lord, I pray that you just bring a freedom that each person will be able to accomplish what you have for them without being paralyzed to say, wow, this was a work that only God could do in me. And you look back and you just shake your head and realize that only a perfect God could break the chains that bound us in that city. So, Lord, I just ask that you would help us to move forward in your truth, which is that you do cleanse us, you do forgive us, and that we don't have to dwell on our past longer. Lord, would you make writing dreams come true within each and every person? And we'll give you all the glory, Lord, because we couldn't pull ourselves out. It's only you, through the blood of Jesus, that we're able to be free. And we ask this in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

Amen. And when C.J. was talking about being paralyzed, I just felt like I sensed God's or Jesus saying over some of you right now, get up. You know, take your mat and go. Like, it's time to not be stuck and paralyzed anymore. It's time to get up to receive that healing from the Lord. And it is time to go. It is time to write that book. It is time to do that project that God has put on your heart. Whatever it is, it is time. And so it is never too late. And in the kingdom of God, there are no regrets, only hope. Amen.

Amen.

All right, well, we will see you next time. We have two more in this breakthrough series. Thank you for hanging in here with us. And if you're not signed up yet, we are having an amazing opportunity for you and it's free to sign up for our free writing week challenge. And so if you haven't signed up yet, sign up@writingweek.com It's a great opportunity to get your writing flowing in a community and we are going to be there to support you and accountability. So make sure to go get signed up and we will see you next time.

God bless you guys. Have a great weekend.

Bye Bye.

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