#220: Victor not Victim (Overcomer Series)

Welcome to Kingdom Writers where we help equip and empower Christian writers of all genres to share your unique gifts with the world. We're your hosts, C.J. and Shelley Hitz.

This podcast is filled with spiritual encouragement as well as prayers to help you overcome the resistance you face as a writer. Your story matters.

Welcome to the Overcomer series. My name is Shelli Hitz and in this series my husband CJ and I will walk you through some steps to help you overcome in your writing, publishing and marketing of your books. This series was originally recorded as live videos inside Christian Book Academy. And so if you would like to join us and be able to stay time with us live, then join us@christianbookacademy.com we wanted this series to also be able to encourage you. So I hope that you enjoy it and leave us a review and let us know how this podcast is encouraging your writing. We would love to hear from you. Enjoy this episode. Today's topic is all about victim or Victor. And we just wanted to talk about this in a little bit more detail because kind of following up from our conversation last week about calm, cool and collected dealing with our emotions, this is a great follow up. And so CJ's gonna start us off.

Yeah, so there's a couple scriptures that came to mind when you think about this whole being a Victorian as opposed to a victim mentality. And the first one's First Corinthians 15:57, and I'll read this in the NIV translation and it says, but thanks be to God, he gives us the victory. That's the key word right there through our Lord Jesus Christ. And so.

That really goes for anything in life. You know, we do have the victory over sin, over death. Those are the key, those are the biggies. Now obviously we get hung up on a daily basis with, with things that are hiccups, you know, problems that come our way. But it's so refreshing to know that in the big picture, we are victorious.

Amen.

And then the, the second scripture is Romans 8:37. This is the new living translation says no, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us. And so I love that because instead of being overwhelmed, we can actually have overwhelming victory. And so that kind of sets the stage, you know, you and I in control of our time and actually how we spend our day. So those are things that we can control ultimately. Now obviously there's emergencies, but on a typical day, yeah, you and I do have that control, that decision making ability. And you and I are also in control of how we respond to every circumstance that comes our way. And so that kind of, again, sets the stage. I'm going to let Shelley kind of take several little things here that hit her this. This past week in terms of encouragement to share.

Yeah, and a lot of this actually comes from a devotional I wrote for my upcoming book, beyond the Brokenness. And so I thought, you know, this would be a great topic for this week's live video, especially following up what we shared last week. And.

For me, I tend to react emotionally with panic, often to bad news. And I talked about this last week. I'm very emotionally driven, and I can easily slip into the feeling. Into feeling like a victim to my circumstances. Have any of you ever felt that way? So I, a few years ago, got some life coaching and. And really worked through some things in my life related to fear and stress. And one of the things my life coach had really brought to the surface is that although I can be very successful and I can achieve a lot, I can still get stuck in that victim mentality. Now, those of you that know my story know that I have been a victim to crime in. In like, my family has been, you know, victims to crimes. And, you know, I've been a victim, you know, to different abuse and trauma. My grandpa, he died as a result of negligence from the police. They thought he was having a. He thought. They thought he was drunk and he was having a stroke. They put him in jail. He ended up dying a week later. They never had him tested. We. My. My grandma won the lawsuit against them. So he was a victim to the. That my grandma was murdered. She was a victim. You know, it went to trial and he was ruled not guilty due to mental illness. But it was. It was still like our family was a victim. My dad was assaulted and was in a coma and has had permanent brain damage. It went to trial, and the man who did that to him was in jail several years. But I've been a victim. I've been a victim of sexual abuse. And so the facts are that I have been. I am a. I am a victim, you know, and it's just been very easy for me to get stuck into that victim mentality at times. And yet we can choose how we react to our circumstances. We can be a victor and not a victim. Amen. So, C.J. would you read this next scripture?

Yeah, it's Psalm 112, 7, 8, NIV translation. It says, they will have no fear of bad news. Their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Their Hearts are secure. They will have no fear in the end. They will look in triumph on their foes.

Yeah, I love this. They will have no fear of bad news. You know, we can choose to be reactive to our circumstances, or we can be proactive. Now, what does this have to do with our writing? Well, it can have everything to do with our writing. We can blame our circumstances on why we're not getting enough writing done or why our book's not finished or why our book's not selling. We can blame all these things, or we can take personal responsibility and choose to really be intentional with our time. Ask God for wisdom, for strategies. And there's a concept that Stephen Covey has written in his book the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and he talks about being reactive versus proactive. How many of you have ever read that book? It's a classic. Right? And so a reactive person allows circumstances they can't control to determine their behavior. So if the weather is bad, they're in a bad mood. All right, let's. Let's, like, have a check in. Anyone ever let the weather, you know, affect your mood?

Oh, I could speak to that.

I'm raising my hand.

That reminds me of when we lived in Ohio, Northwest Ohio. I actually believe that I seriously had the seasonal affect disorder. Yeah, sad, as they call it. We had a lot of cloudy days in northwest Ohio. Those winters were long. Once the snow hit, it stayed on the ground a long time. There was just something about that that wore on me. And Shelly will tell you that when we moved out here to Colorado, there was a huge change in my demeanor.

It was like he was a different person.

The sunshine combined with the amount of time you can get outside. I love the mountains. You know, I used to come on hiking trips out here and with guys from Ohio, but I started thinking to myself, man, I want to live out here. You know, I. I love being in the mountains. I love being on the trails, exploring. So, yeah, I can definitely speak to having the weather affect me now. Obviously, I had control over that. I don't blame the weather, but I certainly, you know, could say that the weather had an effect on me and I. Which I allowed.

Yeah. Deborah says 310 days of sun per year in Colorado. Yeah, 300 plus, for sure. Yeah. And so, like, we've chosen to live in this climate, but even if, you know, we were in a climate that wasn't so nice, you know, it's easy. The easy thing to do is to allow the weather to affect our mood. Right. And so that's a reactive person. They blame outside circumstances for their performance. I know I'm stepping on some toes here. So I can't write because, you know, my kids or because of this or because of that or, you know, you know, there's just, you know, there's always something. There's always an excuse. Right? I know. I've been there. Have you, C.J.

Absolutely. Well, it even reminds me, you know, in sports, you know, when teams blame the refs, you know, we would have won that game if it wasn't for the refs, you know, and yet, really, in the big scheme, very few games are really determined by bad calls. The game really was won in other ways. And so, yeah, I think that many times we can do the same thing. Yeah, we're blaming and, you know, there is a very real spiritual battle out there. But yet, jokingly, you know, we sometimes will blame the devil, you know, for just about everything, when in reality, we allow the devil to run over us instead of really taking our place as.

Victors and the authority we have in Christ. So Stephen Covey talks about, you know, this whole reactive versus proactive. And I really believe that reactive person, it can lead to a victim mentality. I'm a victim of my circumstances. I'm a victim, you know, I can't do this because, you know, we just. Because of this, this and this, or because the weather's bad or because of the economy or whatever it is. Whereas a proact person will take full responsibility for their life instead of focusing on the circumstances they can't control, like the weather, economy, other people's opinions, right? Because other people can say things about your writing. Why are you doing that writing? Why are you even writing that book? Why are you even trying to make money doing this? You know, I mean, other people's opinions or bad reviews or whatever, you. Those are things you can't control. But a proactive person instead focuses on what they can do in each situation. And the best part, we have the freedom to choose our response. You can either choose to be reactive or proactive. You can be a writer that is reactive and allows your circumstances to control you, or you can be a writer that's proactive. And despite those circumstances that you can't change, you do. What you can do is in your current circumstances, in what God has given you, in his strength, in the authority that he has given you. And so we can choose. We can choose to be reactive or be proactive. We can choose to focus on what we can't control, or we can take personal responsibility for our lives and focus on the things we have influence over and can change. So for most of my life, I've been a reactor. You know, I mean, I've still done a lot in life and I've still accomplished a lot, but I've allowed my circumstances to jerk my emotions up and down, up and down, up and down. You know, if I get good news, my day's great. If I get bad news, wah, wah.

You know, if I get bad news, then, you know, I immediately panic and get stuck in fear. And so, like we've said all along, yes, we need to feel our feelings. We need to face the facts. We're not saying go into denial that it's raining and. Or that it's, you know, the weather's horrible or that the economy's down or whatever. We have to face those facts. We have to feel the feelings. But you today have a choice. When life gets blurry and you receive bad news, you can adjust or you can choose to adjust your focus. You can focus instead of the things that you can't control on the things you can. You can focus on Christ. You can focus on God and what he has for you in each day. You get to decide how you will respond and what you will focus on. And this is the thing that God's been teaching me lately because, you know, as I've been sharing in these videos, it's just things have just been up and down and up and down and up and down. And yes, sometimes it is the spiritual battle, but I also believe some of it is things within my control. And so C.J. and I had a long talk yesterday, and one of the things that he's really good about just kind of grounding me and bringing me back was that I just don't have enough margin in my life. Like, I'm not a workaholic like I used to be, but I'm trying to fit so much into the hours that I am working that if there's anything little extra added into that, you know, it's like I just can't barely handle it because, I mean, I just didn't have any extra room. And so we really sat down yesterday and talked through, like, you know, we have control over our schedules and especially as entrepreneurs, but, you know, what is it that I can do? And I really realized I need to simplify. And I took a bunch of things off of my plate, and it really gave me a sense of relief, a sense of peace. And it's like, I am so.

Glad that I'm, like, taking this time to say, okay, if you see a pattern in your life, if you see, like, okay, I have not been able to write, you know, what. What is going on? And so that's been one of my things, is I have all these books now that God has given me book ideas, and I want to write them. And I have. I haven't had time, like, literally just in my work hours, it's just been so full. So, you know, I really just let go of a bunch of things yesterday. And then we're going to be sharing more about this in a couple weeks. But I've really been intentional with my time, and I've been tracking some things that I'll share more about in a couple weeks.

Yeah. Give you a, you know, personal example of something that happened this week for me. You know, on Monday.

My plan was to get our. Our 1995 Jeep Grand Cherokee attended to, you know, was dead in our garage. And so it's happened before. And, you know, we weren't sure exactly why, because the battery seemed good before. So I called. I called up State Farm, and of course they eventually sent out someone to jump it. It wasn't a tow truck because I just requested a jumped battery. So the guy came out and it wouldn't turn over. And he said, yeah, that's probably your alternator. And so the next step was I had to call State Farm again, have them send a tow truck instead. And I had to have that Jeep towed out to our mechanic. And it's still there. Thankfully, we have two cars. But, you know, I planned on doing some other stuff that afternoon, including some writing. And yet I had to sort of just roll with the punches now, previously, you know, years ago, I would have just stewed inside, you know, I would have just, you know, I would probably even, you know, argued with the Lord, you know, over something like that. Like, you know, ruined my whole day, you know, and this and that. And.

Yeah.

And yet what I find is that as I mature in the Lord, as I grow in the Lord, he's given me patience.

I also react differently. It's just a testimony to what the Lord's done inside me. Because I was able just to be like, well, you know, it's. If it doesn't get done today, that's okay. There's another day. And, Lord, I just. I tried to be thankful, you know, Lord, thank you for the fact that we do have a second vehicle.

And whatever it comes to.

You know, in terms of financial damage, so be it. But learning just to roll and ebb and Flow and just even be able to, you know, interact with the tow truck driver, young kid that came out. I, I tried to, you know, just interact with him.

Give him some encouragement. He did a great job. There were a couple, you know, just getting that Jeep out of the garage. We had to push it first of all, then get it in a position where it could be towed. And at the end of the time, I just said, man, you did a nice job today. You know, after he dropped it off at the, the mechanic, we finally got it over there. All of that process was like two and a half hours.

Not exactly how I wanted to spend the afternoon, but things happen to all of us. And yet I'm choosing not to be a victim, but to somehow still find the positive in all of that. And God is still on his throne and which I'm thankful for.

Yeah, Marta says it's a problem for the entrepreneurs and creatives. There's so much we want to do and accomplish. Yeah, I want to do all the things, and sometimes I feel like I can do it all. But, you know, in reality, when you are trying to make every minute of every day productive or trying to fit so much into your day, then if anything goes off or wrong or if you get anything extra, which there's always stuff that happens when you have a business or when you're writing and publishing and marketing a book, you know, then it's like you have no space for that. And anyways, it's just a good reminder of, you know, we have control and we, we can make changes. And so, you know, even yesterday I was making some really good changes for me. And we are always growing. I mean, until we reach heaven, we're going to continue to grow, right?

So I want to share just a couple quotes from one of our favorite motivational people. Some of you may be familiar with Zig Ziglar, who passed away in 2013. I think it was 86. The guy just, you know, bled positivity.

He was a born again Christian and.

He was a believer as well. But I love some of these quotes. A goal properly set is halfway reached. And I think that's so crucial for us, you know, in our quest to be victors and not victims, that when we have that goal set, it is half the battle. Another one. Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude. And I love that. So, in other words, our attitude has a lot to do with how high we're going to rise. It has nothing to do with our aptitude, you know, whether we're born with A certain amount of smarts or intelligence, whatever it is.

There have been so many examples in history of people that maybe didn't have as much up here, and yet they were huge successes because they had this attitude and this tenacity that pressed forward.

Circumstances are temporary. We can all agree with that. But sometimes we allow them to swallow us up despite the truth that God is bigger. And I think that's key right there. Circumstances are going to hit us, I think if we have this muscle memory of just realizing that's temporary, this too shall pass. And by the way, my God is bigger than this. He even transcends time and space. And my God is big, and my God's got this under control. And I think if we just develop this muscle memory of immediately falling back to, oh, yeah, I serve a big God. God, when things do happen to us, it helps. It certainly goes a long way to helping us not fall into that victim hole that we can sometimes fall into. And so, again, we control what we can and we release what we can't into God's hands. I think that is so key. So control what you can.

Then release the rest. There's so many things we can't control every single day. But when we try.

That'S when I think we. We become control freaks. And we are ripe for heart problems at that point because we're just constantly stressed because we can't control something and we want to. And so, you know, just to, you know, kind of begin to close out this, you know, living every day as if it were our last. I know that can kind of sometimes be a cliche, but really thinking about, you know, what if this were my last day? Am I being intentional? Am I being intentional and active in my pursuit, or am I just being reactive and falling into that victim hole? And I love this quote, too, by Zig Ziglar. If we don't plan our time, someone else is happy to waste it for us. You could almost sense him saying that, you know, with his. His deep Southern, you know, his Mississippi accent. You know, if we don't plan our time, someone else is happy to waste it for us. You know, so that's Zig Ziglar. But, you know, I think it's so true that our time will just slip through the cracks if we aren't intentional about planning, you know, our day, or at least four or five hours of that day where we can get some intentional writing done. The things that God's put on our hearts.

Yeah. And, you know, social media, it's a, you know, Big one. Social media will take all your time if you're not being intentional. And that's one of the things I've been doing lately, is really being intentional. Still giving myself time to check in and that sort of thing. But I've been able to do more writing. I've been able to do more painting and creative things because I've been more intentional. So we'll be talking more about that and even the upcoming lives. Right now, CJ's gonna pray a prayer for all of us and for our writing and just that we would be victors and not victims.

So, Father, we just thank you so much for this day, this day of new opportunities and to live out of victory, not out of being victims. And so, Lord, I just want to pray that you would change each of our mindsets on this whole topic, that we truly would be victors and not victims. That you would help rewire our brain structures, Lord, to where that natural muscle memory, that. That brain function just falls back to remembering I am a victor. I am not going to live and stay in victimland. And I just pray, Lord, that no matter what our circumstances, each of us here, we all have different circumstances. I pray that each of us would still be able to rise above those circumstances in such a way that we have God's perspective. We're able to see a glimpse of our Father having everything under control, that our Father is not shocked. He's not stumped, he's not surprised. He's not scurrying around looking for plan B.

Our Father is still on the throne. And, Lord, I just pray that each of us would live out of that mentality and that it would seep even down deep into our emotions and that we would just have that sense of peace. I just speak peace upon every single one of our members. I pray, Lord, that they would be as productive as you desire them to be the rest of this week.

Father, we just thank you for any productivity. We're grateful for every word we're able to write. And I pray that if the enemy has stolen anything in terms of time or just energy, I pray, Lord, that you would just replace that, replace what's been stolen and somehow allow each and every one of us.

To recapture what was lost and then some, and to be able to write everything that you've called us to. And we will give you all the glory, the honor. We ask this in Jesus name. Amen.

Amen. And I just wanted to kind of close that.

I had recognized that I've had, you know, I've been a victim. My family's been a victim to crimes, but that I had a choice. I didn't have to take on that victim mentality. So no matter what the facts are in your life, you can choose what you will then believe what you will think, your mindset, you know, fixing our, you know, mind on things above. So I just encourage you that you have a choice today and we pray that you would choose Victor.

Yeah.

So thank you guys so much for being here. Those of you who that are listening and we're excited for what God is doing in and through you and we will see you next time. We love you guys.

Love you guys. God bless.

Bye bye. Thank you so much for spending time with us in this episode. It truly means the world to us. We also have a free gift for you. It's a new PDF that CJ and I recently wrote called 8 surprisingly Simple Writing Tips. Say that 10 times real fast in a row, right? But it's a PDF. You can get instant access. Just go to training authors.com writing tips. We'd love to send that PDF to you right now. And again, it's called 8 surprisingly simple writing tips. Enjoy.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Kingdom Writers. We believe that you, as a Christian writer, have a specific role to play in the Kingdom of Heaven to impact lives for eternity.

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