#245: You Need to Ask (Kingdom Marketing Mindset Series)

Welcome to Kingdom Writers, where we help equip and empower Christian writers of all genres to share your unique gifts with the world. We're your hosts, C.J. and Shelley Hitz.

This podcast is filled with spiritual encouragement as well as prayers to help you overcome the resistance you face as a writer. Your story matters.

Welcome to the Kingdom Marketing Mindset series. My name is Shelli Hitz, and my husband CJ and I are so thrilled that you have joined us for this series. I really believe this is going to be a landmark series for many of you, helping you to get your message to more people, to really be able to do what God has called you to do in a way that is so freeing and that actually works. And so we are excited. And the foundation of this entire series really starts when you start having regular business meetings with God. And I have a free training for you on this that walks you through the steps. I've been doing this regularly myself for the last few years, and it just works. So go get this training for free@trainingauthors.com businessmeeting. I guarantee if you start having weekly business meetings with God, your life is going to change, your marketing is going to change, and there's going to be some amazing things that happen. So go get that training@trainingauthors.com businessmeeting and I hope that this series is a blessing to you and your book marketing. We are continuing with the Kingdom Mindset Marketing series this week, and our theme for today is you need to ask. And this is something that I just, I've noticed over and over with the authors that I coach and mentor, that this is a stumbling block, especially for Christian authors, especially for those of us that are givers and we serve and we want to give, give, give, give, give. And so we're going to be diving into this topic. And I'm really excited because I think that it's so simple, but it's so powerful. When you implement this particular strategy, whether you're in your writing, publishing, or the marketing part, especially the marketing, I really think you're going to see a change. And so it's important, like we've talked about, to serve our audience. It's important to give to them, it's important to think about them. And yet we also need to ask. So we need to ask for what reviews or endorsements. Some of you are in that phase, right? Those of you that are working on the first draft or finishing that or getting ready to publish, asking for endorsements, asking for reviews. We need to invite People to buy our book during a special promotion. You know, it's like your book is an island and you're building roads to that island. And if you never ask, if you never have a call to action, that's what it's called in the marketing world, where you invite someone to buy your book, they might not ever even know that you have a book. And, you know, I've actually had people tell me, and even recently in the last few weeks, an author said, well, won't they just get the hint?

Won't they just realize, like, they'll just come to my website and they'll just get the hint and they'll just, you know, like, no, you have to ask. And you can ask in a really God honoring, you know, good way, but you have to ask and then asking for help. So, Pam, you recently had to do that for your book, and now you're almost ready to publish. You. You know, what if you had never asked for help? You know, what if some of you never asked for help in the Facebook group to get to that next step to get unstuck? So there are times that we have to ask.

Yeah. And another way is reaching out to potential strategic partners. And we kind of alluded to that, I believe, last week, where a couple of you would perhaps make a great fit in terms of what you each offer, the audiences you have access to. Give you a couple other examples of asking.

As I've mentioned, you know, I've done some speaking in the past and, you know, I'm not a household name and I never was. So I would put together these mailings and I would send them out to 2 and 300 schools at a time, churches, camps. I would just kind of blitz. We had kind of a budget that we would spend for marketing in that way. And then I would start to get trickles of people asking questions because I put my contact, whether it be phone or email, and then I would follow up with emails as well. I'd say, you know, you received a mailing. What do you think? Essentially, what I was doing was what we would call shameless self promotion. Okay. That is, people didn't know about me before. They didn't know about the message that I was offering that I was passionate about sharing with their students. So I had to throw myself in front of them. And then, you know, it's kind of like, you know, you can't catch a fish unless you throw out the bait.

And if you sit there on the shore with your fishing pole and your bait, but you never put the Bait on the hook and put it out there. It doesn't matter if you have the best fishing pole in the world, you have the best bait in the world, Right?

Be nice if the. The fish just jumped into your boat.

Right?

But then again, you know, there's fun in the catch as well, and I always enjoyed that, actually. I enjoyed seeing who was going to respond and then seeing them actually trust this guy.

That contacted them that they don't even know from Adam. And yet they see a little bit, maybe a little clip. They read a few testimonies of other places I had been. They say, yeah, please come and share with our kids. We'd love it. And so, again, that's one example. Another example is, you know, through the years, I've gotten to be a little bit more of a competitive runner. And with that.

There are certain companies that I thought, man, wouldn't it be cool if they gave me some sponsorship? In other words, gave me some products in exchange for me sharing a little bit on social media or passing on some of their products to some of the people that I coached? And yet I had to reach out and ask, like, hey, I'm a runner. This is kind of my following right here. These are the races I plan on running. I also coach some people. Would you be interested in a partnership? And wouldn't you believe it, there are still some sponsors that I have today that have been that I received three, four, five years ago, all because I simply put myself out there and asked, and they were happy to share their products in exchange for them receiving some. Some word as well. And so those are just a couple examples of how if I would have never asked, I would have. I would have. I wouldn't. I would have missed out on door opening in that way.

I want to share another example that it actually comes from our pastor's book, Pastor Daniel Grothe. And he shares what I thought was just a fantastic example of asking. And it has to do with Steve Jobs, of course. Steve passed away a few years ago.

And the book's title, by the way, is Chasing Wisdom.

Chasing Wisdom. And he has a whole chapter dedicated to learning to ask for help.

That's what we're doing, right? We're learning.

So there's this example where he was a teenager and he decided to reach out to a guy named Bill Hewlett who was across town, and that is the. The Hewlett that helped found Hewlett Packard. So here, I'll let Steve share in his own words. I called up Bill Hewlett when I was 12 years old, so not even a teenager. And he lived in Palo Alto. His number was still in the phone book. And he answered the phone himself. Yes, I said. I said, hi, I'm Steve Jobs. I'm 12 years old. I'm a student in high school, and I want to build a frequency counter.

Okay. So, you know, he goes on and he says, I was wondering if you have any spare parts that I could have. And he laughed. He gave me the spare parts for the frequency counter, and he gave me a job that summer at Hewlett Packard. Wow. Working on the assembly line, putting nuts and bolts together on frequency counters. He got me a job at the place that built them, and I was in heaven. And then he goes on, I've never found anybody that didn't want to help me if I asked them for help.

And I've never found anyone who said no or hung up the phone when I called. I just asked. And when people ask me, I try to be as responsive and pay the debt of gratitude back. Back. Most people never pick up the phone and call. Most people never ask. And that's what separates sometimes the people that do things from the people that just dream about them. Yeah, you've got to act. And that's from Steve Jobs. And we know, of course, the. The rest of the story with Steve Jobs and how well that worked out.

For him, Apple, and all of our devices. I'm. I have the MacBook Pro Pro that we're streaming on right now and recording the iPhone, iPad.

But how many of you find it hard to ask? You know, when I talk about building a prayer team, that's one of the biggest pushbacks I get from you is, oh, I just don't want to ask. I don't want to ask people to do something for me. I want to just give and do something for them. And so, you know, often, you know, it can be hard, and we get that resistance. Right. It might be that we're worried about what people will think about us if we ask. We might not want to appear needy. We might just be embarrassed or, like, nervous. I get nervous every time I ask something or do something. You know, that's part of being human. Right.

But.

One of the things that happened recently in my book marketing momentum program is that one of my members, she has a pretty big backlist of books of pretty decent email size, but she's not selling many books. And she's like, shelly, how do I sell books? And so we started talking through this, and I said one day, I said, tell me If I'm wrong, but I really sense that at the core, the issue that's holding you back is that you haven't been asking people to buy your books. And she was like, oh, my goodness, we've only been doing this a few weeks. How did you get to that so quickly? She was like, yes. And, you know, you know, for her, she would give, give, give, give, give, give. But to ask someone to buy, that was something that she just. She is now she's starting to do things, and now she's starting to do it. But for some of you, that might also be the case. Some of you may be not. But in the marketing world, like I said, it's called a call to action. So this is the thing I see most authors leaving out of their social media posts, of their emails, of their Amazon descriptions. You know, scroll up and click add to cart to start reading. Now that's a call to action that you could put at the bottom of your description. You know, it could be a call to action. Even just in a personal message on Facebook, somebody messages you and said they loved your book. Oh, that's so awesome. I'm so grateful. That made my day. Would you be willing just to take a minute and post a quick review on Amazon? Here's the link, right? Or, you know, you leave a quote about your book, but then you don't. You just leave them hanging. So, you know, giving them a call to action if you want to read them, if you want to read further, you can, you can start reading this book here and add the link. Whatever language feels good to you. You might not be a buy now, buy now, buy now type person. That's okay. You don't have to be a used car salesman, but you have to ask, right?

Yeah. And, you know, I think some of us need to even ask the Lord to give us thicker skin because I think many times we just are afraid of that. No, we don't want to hear no. And yet how many times does a good salesman or saleswoman have to hear no before they make the sale in whatever product they're selling?

Yeah. Peggy was saying her husband sold more computer programs than anyone else because he asked for the sale. Yeah, that's, you know, it's a basic foundation of all seals.

So Matthew 7:7 in the NIV says, Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you. Speaking of open doors, when I was 16 years old, another example, in another way, I had made a basketball tour team from a Basketball camp I attended this summer. And we had a whole year to raise funds. We had to raise $2,000 over the course of the year in order to go overseas where we were going to play teams near our own age and even, even a few teams older than us in Germany, Belgium and Holland. And I was so excited about this. And the first thing I decided to do was have my basketball coach in high school write me a letter of recommendation that I then had laminated. And would you believe it, at 16 years old, I.

I lived in a little town called Myrtle Creek, Oregon and about 3,000 people, logging town, hard working folks. I basically just started going door to door. I went door to door and I shared a little spiel about who I am. And I have, I play basketball for the high school and I made this and here's a letter if you want to look peruso for the letter. And I just basically had this bag that they could put their donation in. And I'm telling you through just that means alone, I want to say I collected over $800. And it was amazing, the generosity people, we're talking anywhere from. I remember one elderly lady, she says, give me a minute. And she left me at the door and it must have been 10 minutes. I'm thinking this was the widow that was looking and turning up every couch looking for the lost coin because she came back and just dumped. You could just see it in here. It was just like.

All of this change into my bag and I counted up that change and it ended up being like nine or ten dollars worth of quarters, nickels, dimes, pennies, you name it. And yet it counted toward the effort. And it was all because I was willing to go door to door share. And I didn't care if I got a no. I just went on to the next door and there were lots of houses still, even in a town of 3,000 people.

Yeah. Cher Lee says she used to do sales. And they would say that most of the sales came after at least 10, 10 nos. That no's are actually a person asking to be convinced to say yes.

Now the nice thing about that time was I got very few no's. I did get a few. They were just like, man, I just don't have anything to give you. But who doesn't want to help a high school kid out that's going to go overseas to play basketball from their town of Myrtle Creek? Like, wow, it's like we're sending, you know, our local pro, you know, off to overseas to play basketball. That's the way some people rallied around it. And I can't tell you how grateful I was and how glad I was that I was willing to say, hey, I don't care who says no. I just wanted. I just want to see, you know, who's willing. And almost half of what I needed came through. That means.

Yeah. And Debbie says after 30 years in marketing, what they say is true, you, your potential client just does not have the time to research or look for your book and product. You give it to them, make it easy, and they will buy. And so when you don't put a link and a call to action in your posts, then somebody has to then go to Amazon, research it. Sometimes it's hard to find. They don't know the spelling or they forget the exact title. It's too much work. Right. Make it easy for them. Yeah. Nancy says the key is not to worry about who says no. Yeah, don't worry. Because you know what? If you never asked, you'll never get the yeses either. You know, you're going to get yeses, but you're gonna get no's. Would you rather just stay quiet and never get any yeses or would you rather ask and get some no's, but then get the yeses as well? I would rather do that. And so I've learned to just realize that's part of life. Some people are busy, they're not gonna be able. That's okay. They. And I asked God for those divine appointments, right? Those divine connections, the favor that he would give it to me. So pray for that. Pray for those connections. And so we talked about earlier about, you know, hinting, you know, have you ever hinted at something, hoping another person would figure out what you were hinting at? You know, maybe it could be a friend or a family member or spouse. And you're hinting at the gift you want for your birthday, but you don't really come out directly and say it, Right. You're hinting. And I've learned that when, like, especially when C.J. and I were first married, I would do a lot of that hinting.

It was kind of like you could call it passive aggressive. So you're trying to get your point across, but you're being passive about it, Right. You're not coming out directly and saying it. So I would be like, you know, and then I would get upset. So I'd be like, why aren't you ever helping me around the house?

Well, then he, that didn't help anything. He didn't want to help, you know, but I Took a class at church and we went through this book about speaking the truth in love. And I learned how to be assertive. Not aggressive, where you're just like. And not passive aggressive where you're hinting, but assertive, speaking the truth in love, which is what Jesus did. He wasn't afraid to confront the Pharisees at times. He wasn't afraid to say the truth, but he did it in love. So I began to change the way I would talk with C.J. instead of hinting, trying to get him to help me around the house, and then getting mad when he didn't read my mind, right, I would say, cj, I am really stressed. I have a lot going on. I have work planned. Plus we have all this stuff going on at church this week. Is there any way that you could help me by doing the dishes and running the vacuum? Guess what? He would start to do it.

And like, not only did he begin to start helping me around the house, like, our marriage began to take a turn for the better. And so when you ask, not about like being this passive aggressive, trying to hint and you know, and it's not about being aggressive, you know, like the used car salesman, it's about being assertive, learning to communicate the truth in Love and CJ do you want to read Matthew 7, 7:11 in the message?

Yeah. This is an interesting way that Eugene Peterson puts this. Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn't a cat and mouse hide and seek game we're in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing. You're at least decent to your own children. So don't you think that God who conceived you in love will be even better?

Yes. So what I love is don't bargain with God. Be direct. How many of you need to apply this to your marketing? Be direct. Ask for what you need. Some of you may need to ask some, you know, something today for what you need, you may also want to give. You know, it's a two way thing, you know.

You know, what I found also is that back to my example of sending out mailings to schools and churches and things, what I found was that it wasn't always a hard no. So initially they might say no, but then I'd swing, swing back around a year or two later and all of a sudden there was a different season and they were ready at that point, like maybe their kids had experienced something and the message was very relevant to their location. And so never think that somebody can't change their mind later or wouldn't want you to swing around again to ask them a second time. Now, you probably don't want to ask them, like, the next day, but, you know, swing around.

Allow the horses to come back around a year or two later, and they might be in a whole different season of life, and that changes their answer.

And that brings up another point. Sometimes you need to keep on asking whether or not it's the same person or you need to ask the next person and the next person and the next person. Sometimes you need to keep asking. And so Matthew 7. 7. We've shared this in several translations. In the NLT, it says, Keep on asking and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking and you will find. Keep on knocking and the door will be open to you. So some of you have just given up too quick. You have a couple people that said they would post reviews, and they don't do it. You give up. Keep on asking, Find new people, right? Ask new people. Keep on asking. If you truly believe in your product, if you truly believe in your book, which we talk about this in a lesson in the book launch challenge. But you've got to believe in your book. If you believe in it, you've got to realize that it's not going to be as hard to ask because you know that your book is going to have the impact, you know, that's going to have the potential to change someone's life.

So each of you has a very specific.

Topic that you're writing on that you're specializing in, that you feel gifted in. So one of the examples of the ways you can ask is start researching podcasts that deal along the lines of your subject matter. Start researching bloggers that might have you as a guest. You know, post. And I know that a lot of this is in the training, but these are just ways you can ask. And again, you might go through 10 different blogs that you love and you get one yes. And yet that one yes can open the door to a whole lot of other stuff. Same with a podcast. Research those podcasts and say, man, you know, if I could become a guest on that podcast.

They really seem to be the flavor of what I'm looking for with my own topic.

Yeah. And I like what Debbie says. She says, but make sure your ask is personal, is as personal as possible. I hate being put on a list and asked every year with no contact. And that's what happens to me sometimes. Like, someone will friend me on Facebook and immediately ask me to buy something from their direct marketing company. That's being aggressive. Right? We're talking about being assumed assertive, which is personal. It's, you know, you're speaking the truth in love. You have relationships. It's not just broadcasting. It's not the used car salesman approach where you're just like, buy my book, buy my book, buy my book. It's relational marketing. It's permission marketing. But in that, be as personal as possible. So when you're first starting out, I always say, reply to every email, reply to every message, reply to every comment. You have a small audience in the beginning rep. Make it personal. I mean, I still try to do that, but, you know, do everything you can. And then when you're asking someone for something, do your research. Don't just ask them to do something. And you haven't researched their podcast or you haven't researched if they even have guests. Like, some people never even have guests. I'm one of those. Like, I rarely have guests on my podcast, and I get all the time, you know, and they don't even know what our podcast is about. Right? They don't even. They haven't even researched it. So. So it's like, that's not even something I'm going to consider. So definitely make it as personal as possible.

Yeah, just another passage of scripture, James 4.2b through verse 3 says, yet you don't have what you want because you don't ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don't get it because your motives are all wrong. You want only what will give you pleasure. And I think it's just a good reminder about motives, even motives, and how we ask the Lord, are we using God like he's a genie, like rubbing it every now and then, just maybe get some quick cash, you know, like using him as an atm.

Or are we like, okay, Lord, I know you can bless me financially, but then there's all these other things, things that can help people, you know, my heart and motives, Lord, would. Would you. Would you even change my motives to line up with. With you and your heart? You know, because you. You birthed this in me, and so give me a heart that it has the right pure motives. So that's one sense. But then another question I have regarding two other instances in scripture that I could think of is what if Esther and Nehemiah would have never taken the risk of asking their respective kings for the things that they needed. In Esther's case, her people, the Jews, were being threatened to be slaughtered, you know, by the edict that Haman brought to the king. And so she had to take a risk. It says in Esther, chapter five, risk of her life. If you weren't invited by the king, you were taking a risk. It was punishable by death if you just approached him without any invitation. She did, and he showed her favor. And then with Nehemiah, Nehemiah heard a report about how the wall was all broken down and the people weren't doing well back in the homeland. Here, he's the cupbearer for the king. And one day, the king just noticed he wasn't looking very good. You know, you look sad, Nehemiah. And of course, this kind of terrified Nehemiah because, you know, he thought, oh, man, maybe I'm not doing my job well. But he finally just spilled the beans and he says, well, I'll tell you why I'm sad. My people are hurting back in the homeland, our walls broken down, and I just. I have a heart to go back there. Would you allow me to leave for a time to go back there and help rebuild this place, wall? So both of these people took risks by asking those in authority, and I think that's just a reminder for us, Are we willing to at least take a risk even when our lives aren't even on the line?

Right.

At the worst, we're going to receive that. No. But thankfully, our lives aren't on the line in terms of us, you know, timidly going into the presence of someone. So taking that risk can be worth it.

Yeah. And I like what Myrna says. She says she shared her project with a stranger, so a stranger who happened to work in an animal foundation. She volunteered then to share it with the animal shelters in her network so they can learn how to do media outreach. The topic I'm working on. So you never know, like, even a stranger that you end up talking to. Some people are even afraid to tell people they're an author or that you're working on a book or topic. But you never know what doors will open as you ask. Right. As you take that step. And Glenda says gratitude and persistence is a winning combination. Yeah. So that persistence of, like, sometimes you need to keep on asking. Lucille says I really needed to hear this topic today. Thank you. You're welcome. So we're going to start to close the topic today, and I want you to really open yourself to hear from the Lord. What is he saying? To you about this topic, about asking about being direct and assertive, but yet doing it, speaking the truth in love and in the motives that God has for you. So we're going to play some music and give you a minute to just hear from the Lord.

All right. If you feel comfortable sharing the comments, anything that you felt like God was saying to you. Got a picture while we, we were praying. And I think CJ and I have even done this illustration before with youth ministry. But I remember a speaker having some money and he was like, who wants this? Everyone raises their hand and he's like, all right, you can have it, you know, and like waiting for the person to come up and take it, you know, and to receive it. So I think sometimes God's like, here, I have this for you. Nancy, Elizabeth, Pam, Myrna, Debbie, Shirley, I have this for you. And we're just like, yeah, I want it, I want it, I want it. You know, raising our hands, but we're not going up and receiving it. Right. Sometimes I think there's a block of just being willing to receive. And so to even ask is saying that we're willing to receive if they say yes. Right? And so I think part of that. But then I got this other picture of like some of you may be like standing outside the door to someone's home. And you know, they don't have a smart home, so they don't have like the video camera outside or anything. But you're standing out there expecting and you know, hinting and you know, like, you know, waiting for them to come out and open the door. But you haven't knocked, you haven't rang the doorbell. You're just standing outside the door expecting that they're going to know you're there. And you never arranged anything, right? So I think sometimes we're just hinting and we're expecting we're standing outside the door. All we have to do is just take that one extra step. Knock, knock, knock, or ding dong. You're so close, I just know it. So many of you are just like, you're right there, you're standing outside the door. It's just that next step, that next step of asking God, what call to action should I use? Who should I ask? How should I? And God will lead you. He'll give you the words, he'll give you the way to ask. You don't have to be the aggressive used car salesman. And yet you don't need to be passive aggressive, hinting and waiting and expecting for things. You can speak the truth. In love, you can be direct. And as God leads you, he will be opening door after door after door after door for you.

Myrna says, I sense that I am to reach out to reporters and ask for their input to use as quotes in a project.

Awesome.

Yeah.

And Peggy says, in terms of asking God, most of the time we do not ask big enough. Anyone guilty.

Yeah, so true.

He says he answers beyond what we can even imagine. Ephesians 3. 20, one of my favorite verses. We limit him in ourselves. We need to see ourselves are calling our work from his perspective and then give him the glory. That'll preach. That'll preach. Peggy.

Yeah, I love it. So, cj, why don't you close us in prayer and then those of you that are here live, we'll have some time for some Q and A. Yeah.

Well, Father, I just thank you so much for each and every one of these Christian Book Academy members. I thank you for those that might be listening into the podcast. We just, we ask, Lord, you know, we're asking you, Lord, that you would help us to be good askers.

Yeah.

That we would have boldness when we need it, yet seasoned with humility as well. That as we ask, we're not afraid to hear.

That two letter word. No, but Lord, I just pray that you would even guide and direct, like who were to ask, who were to approach, that you would just drop those people even into our minds and help us to research people that would be good strategic partners. Yeah, perhaps bloggers, podcasters, whatever it may be.

People that have an audience that would really be a good fit for the topic of our book and what we're writing about. I pray that each of us would be able to see lots of fruit in this area of asking and I guess as a salesman might put it, you know, closing the deal, you know, finally at the end of their spiel to be able to say, well, this is what I want, this is what I need, and would you, would you entertain this? And I just pray that each of us would just continue to move forward in our writing, in the partnerships that we have. I pray you pour out your blessing, pour out your holy spirit upon what we're doing in endeavoring to publish books that glorify the Lord. And we'll give you the glory and the honor for any fruit that comes about through that. And we ask this in Jesus name. Amen.

Amen. And just as a reminder, Matthew 7, 7 in the message says, be direct, ask for what you need. This isn't a cat and mouse hide and seek game. We're in new living translation. Keep on asking and you will receive. And then James 4, 2, 3 says, you do not have what you want because you don't ask God for it. So friends, keep.

Asking. So excited for this series and for what's coming up next. Thank you for being with us. Thank you so much for joining me for this episode in our Kingdom Marketing Mindset series. God has really led us to start teaching marketing differently. So yes, we will still teach you the skill sets and the strategies, we will give you all the case studies, but we are going to be teaching marketing from a Kingdom Marketing mindset. Encourage you to hear from God and get those strategies directly from Him. I am just so excited for you to start going through the training that I have been creating for you in our book launch challenge. If you're tired of the same old messages with book marketing, I encourage you to join us inside Christian Book Academy. I believe it will truly be a breath of fresh air for you and you'll not only get the practical training you need, but you'll get the encouragement to stay connected with God to to receive his blueprint and his strategy for your marketing. Join us now@christianbookacademy.com I can't wait to work further with you and help you reach more people with your message. I'll see you on the inside.

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