#344: Writing Well: How to Write Your Story When It Involves Other People

Welcome to Kingdom Writers, where we help equip and empower Christian writers of all genres to share your unique gifts with the world. We're your hosts, C.J. and Shelley Hitz.

This podcast is filled with spiritual encouragement as well as prayers to help you overcome the resistance you face as a writer. Your story matters Foreign.

Hey Kingdom Writers. Shelly hits here. And in this edition of the podcast, we're going to talk about a topic that I get asked all the time. This is how to write your story when it involves other people. I want to give a disclaimer. I am not an intellectual property lawyer, nor any other kind of lawyer, and this podcast should not be taken as legal advice or permission. I am just sharing the research that I've done and some things that have worked for our Christian Book Academy members. And I just know that this question can keep you stuck in your writing. And before we dive into this topic, if you are stuck in your writing, I encourage you to grab our free PDF writing wheel. In this Writing Wheel download, you're going to get five strategies to help you really move forward in your writing and be more productive than maybe you have ever been. We've had so many people go through it and have so much success in really just writing more consistently and effectively. And so you can go and get this free download@trainingauthors.com writing wheel so let's dive right into this topic. How do you write your story when it involves other people? You know, and then the thing is, you know, a lot of you have really sensitive stories, you know, so how do you share that story without compromising your integrity? How do you publish a book that involves other people? You know, what if there is sensitive information that needs to be shared for the story to make sense and to be honest? These are questions that I've received many times through the years. And so I decided to really do some research on this and create a training on this topic. This is an entire lesson inside Christian Book Academy, but I also wanted to share it on the podcast because I know that it will help many of you. So first of all, relationships are important, so be careful not to burn any bridges by what you write, you know. Therefore, I recommend when at all possible get permission in writing to use their story. You know, often an email will be sufficient, but if you can have them send sign a consent form, that's the best option. One of our Christian Book Academy members, Jennifer Waddle, she shared that she even asked permission from her children to share funny stories that include them. You know, she said this gets Their buy in and they have always allowed her to share the story. But that way they're not surprised later on if they find something or they, they don't become resentful. You know, I grew up as a pastor's kid and I remember my dad sharing stories about me from the pulpit. And somet I would be embarrassed or I'd be like, dad, why'd you have to say that? You know, and so I think even as parents, I think that's a wise advice from Jennifer is just to get their permission, even just verbally let them know you'd like to share that story in your book. But there's really two things that you'll need to consider. And the first is defamation, and the other is invasion of privacy. So these are legal terms and defamation is when you publish false information about a person. So I assume none of you will be doing that. If you're following me, if you're listening to the Kingdom Writers Podcast, I assume that you really believe in telling the truth. So I don't think defamation is going to be an issue for most of you. However, the second is invasion of privacy. And that's when you publish something that could harm the, the other person's reputation. And so that's something that many of us could, you know, come across at some point if you're, especially if you're writing your story. And maybe your story involves abuse or you know, something else that has happened and it could put that other person in a poor light. So here's some suggestions on how to handle this. First of all, let's take a deep breath and pray and ask God for wisdom, because God really will give you wisdom. And I'll just be honest with you, here I am all about every single one of you sharing your story, getting your story out to the world, impacting lives. You know me, I'm your biggest cheerleader and I want you to publish your books and all the things. But we really need wisdom from God. And to be honest, there are some stories and there are some things that are not yet ready to be shared publicly. We maybe not ever. And so ask the Lord, ask him for wisdom. However, there are other stories that it's time to share that story and it's fear or it's other things that are holding you back. And so again, you know, you can ask the Lord for wisdom, but also for courage to take those next steps. Number two is to focus on your story. So write about your emotional responses, share your reaction and how you walked through the situation. How did God work in your life. You know, personally, I always try to focus on the healing and hope that I have found in Christ when I share my story. So even when I share the struggle that I've had with an addiction to pornography, it only involves me. I'm not talking about another person. But even with that, it's a sensitive topic, and I don't share all the gory details. Like, there's certain things you just don't need to share. But, you know, how can you focus on your story? How can you focus on what you went through and how. How. How you were impacted and shine the light on yourself instead of the other person? Number three, you can share the story, but change the facts. So you can change any identifying features of the person. Again, ask God for wisdom. Don't include real names, physical features, life history, like their job, their relationship to you. Basically, you would make the person unrecognizable. And so that's another option. The fourth option is to write it as a fiction novel. And I know many writers, even some that are part of our Christian Book Academy, who have chosen to share their story as a fiction novel. If you're publishing it under your real name, I'd still recommend focusing on your story and still changing the names and any identifying features or locations, because someone could still put two and two together that you're writing about them. The fifth option is write it under a pen name. So publishing your book under a pen name is another option. It definitely has pros and cons, and that might be a good topic for another podcast. But one of the most difficult parts about publishing under a pen name is marketing, because then it's almost like you have to create this whole other Persona on social media and all the things. And then when you do speaking engagements, that could be tricky. But if, you know, if you're mostly going to be selling through Amazon ads or, you know, SEO or some other things that are more behind the scenes, that. That could really work for you. And it has worked well for many people. And number six, you can write it in third person. So if you're writing a nonfiction book, I mean, you could even say something like, I read a story once about, or I heard a story once about, or. And this is how they overcame it. So you wouldn't even have to say that it was you. But, I mean, you're not being dishonest, but you're just saying, you know, I read this story or heard about this story, or you could even say, I have a friend that, that, you know, went through this and you're, no, you're not lying because you're, you're your own friend. But those are some suggestions. So let me just recap. First, pray and ask God for wisdom, but also courage because some of you are not moving forward because of fear holding you back. Number two, focus on your story. Number three, share the story, but change the facts. Number four, write it as a fiction novel. Number five, write it under a pen name. And number six, write it in third person. So those are some options for you if you're including some really sensitive information. And you, you still want to talk about it, but you want to do it in a way that first of all is legal, but also is, you're able to do it without compromising your integrity. So the other thing is to include disclaimers and you can include these disclaimers on your copyright page. For example, you could include a disclaimer that says something like, some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. Or you could say something like, I've tried to recreate events, locales and conversations from my memories of them in order to maintain their anonymity. In some instances, I've changed the names of individuals and places. I may have changed some identifying characteristics and details such as physical properties, occupations and places of residence. So I have a link to a blog post. Helen Sedgwick is a lawyer for self published authors and so I highly recommend her website. But also she has a book, but she has some more information on disclaimers that you can check out there. But I hope you found this helpful. You know, there are ways to still move forward and not to feel stuck. You know, God will give you, he will give you the way. He will show you what to do. And I pray that this was a blessing to you as you move forward in God's call to write your book. Let me pray for you. So God, we just pray for everyone listening right now. And I pray specifically for those that are struggling with what to do about how to write their story, especially the sensitive topics that have come up. Give them wisdom on what to share, what not to share, and you know, how to share that information if they're to change things or you know, write under a pen name or whatever it is that that you're calling them to do or that would be the best for their situation. Lord, I pray you would give them peace about it. I pray that you would give them wisdom. And most importantly, I pray that they would move forward. They would not get stuck because of this question, because of this situation and we just thank you Lord for what you're going to do and I just pray this in Jesus name powerful name. Amen. Amen friends. And if you have not yet even outlined your book or started the process, we have a workshop for you called Book Writing Lab. In this workshop you'll get my three proven book writing formulas and by the end of the workshop, just in 90 minutes, you'll have your book topic, your book outlined and your plan to finish your first draft. Just $27 and you can grab that workshop@bookwritinglab.com if episode has blessed you, please leave us a short review on on whatever podcast you player you listen on Apple Podcasts or Google or wherever you're at and share this with a writing friend. We would just love to be able to help even more writers in their journey. So thank you for being here and I will talk to you in the next episode.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Kingdom Writers. We believe that you, as a Christian writer, have a specific role to play in the Kingdom of Heaven to impact lives for eternity.

And because of this, we choose to pour out our lives into encouraging writers like you to not only tell your stories, but to take the courageous step of self publishing your stories. Stories in books that will outlive you and leave behind a powerful legacy. This podcast is sponsored by Christian Book Academy where we help you give birth to your books. We invite you to join our community of Kingdom Writers.