#446: Expert Edition - Five Clear Indicators it's Time to Quit and Start Fresh

Welcome to Kingdom Writers, where we help equip and empower Christian writers of all genres to share your unique gifts with the world. We're your hosts, C.J. and Shelley Hitz.

This podcast is filled with spiritual encouragement as well as prayers to help you overcome the resistance you face as a writer. Your story matters.

Welcome back friends, to the Kingdom Writers Podcast. My name is Shelly Hitz, one of your hosts, and I'm excited to introduce to you some of my colleagues that are experts in writing, publishing and marketing in these expert edition podcasts. And I think you're going to really enjoy these episodes. So I'm going to let them introduce themselves and share this training with you. And I hope you get a ton of value out out of it. So let's dive in.

Hey y', all, My name is Ruthie Gray and I'm thrilled to be here with you today sharing five Clear Indicators it's time to quit and start fresh. Which is something I did recently. I live in what I like to call Sandwich Season, that wild ride of caring for aging parents while supporting adult children and grandchildren. For the past 15 years I've sought peace, joy and wisdom in the midst of multi generational mayhem and now I'm on a mission to share what I've learned with other moms. If you're juggling all the balls in Sandwich Season 2, I invite you to sign up for my newsletter. Upon joining, you'll receive a five episode podcast series on how to cultivate peace here in the stretched empty nest Sandwich Season of caregiving and relating to adult kids and grandkids. I'll walk you through how to prioritize your own peace, how to spread peace, how to create boundaries, root your identity in Christ instead of your adult kids reactions, and also how to find new purpose in this season. Then you'll receive access to my newsletter called Sandwich Season Pieces where you'll receive encouragement and advice on how to navigate this crazy era with peace. Instead of coming to pieces to join the newsletter, you can sign up at the link in the show notes or head to my website@ruthiegray.com and now let's discover five clear indicators. It's time to quit and start fresh.

Hey y', all, I'm your host Ruthie Gray and I just said goodbye to a chapter. Dun dun dun. Have you ever felt a nudge you ignored because it felt too hard? My nudge began six months ago. It rolled around in my mind like my grandson's forgotten basketball in the back of my trunk. God brought me to this and I almost ignored it. If you're toying with a decision that feels too hard, let me offer you something that will bring peace.

Stop, halt everything. Get off the hamster wheel of doing, doing, doing.

Just because that's what you do doesn't mean you have to keep doing it. If you're an empty nest. You know, we ain't got as much time as we once had. So ask yourself this question. What is my top goal, the thing I most want to accomplish in the next five years? What? What would it look like to do that thing? And what do you need to quit in order to do it? If you're feeling the nudge to make a pivot or quit something in order to do something else, and you're wondering if now is the time. Or maybe you're afraid to take the plunge, today's episode is for you. Listen in.

The book 10x is easier than 2x is one of my very favorite business books. Author Dan Sullivan explains the concept of doing less to achieve more. And it's not that you're doing less, like watching more Netflix or scrolling your phone. It's zeroing in on your main calling, perfecting that calling. And that process involves quitting. He says most people are afraid to commit fully to the 10x process because it inevitably requires letting go of your current identity, circumstances, and comfort zone. Sound familiar? Going 10x means you're going to do one thing and one thing well.

Going for an incremental progress is 2x. That's a 2x mindset. And remember, the book is called 10x is easier than 2x.

Going 2x at a fundamental level means you you're continuing or maintaining what you're already doing. You're letting the past dictate what you do and how you do it. 2x is linear, meaning you're striving to double your output by doubling effort. Do more of the same, just faster and harder. This is not sustainable, my friend. Over the past year, I've become good at quitting. I chuckle because I almost get more joy from saying no than I do from saying yes when it's a juicy opportunity. Especially I'm getting pretty good at this, y', all, because no brings peace and time. Time to think on what needs to happen.

Not what you're trying to make happen.

Sometimes the answer is right in front of your face, but you don't see it until you step back and process. And that timing is on. God, I think empty nest women just really need help making decisions, just like I do. And I get help to make my decisions and I'll explain that more in a little bit. Last week I made an announcement on Instagram that I was quitting. Not Instagram.

Not the platform. That's still my platform of choice. But I'm quitting coaching people how to do Instagram. And since that announcement I've heard from followers and friends on almost daily. You are blazing the trail for us and continue to show us how to do this and oh this is going to be so good. I've earned their trust and they want to know how to 10x. They want to know how to pivot. So how do you know when to lay something down? I'm going to give you five steps here.

Number one Lots of prayer and Scripture. Do not skip. This is pretty much self explanatory.

And you get to determine when you meet with the Lord every day. But you're not going to be clear about your calling and the steps to take next unless you meet with your creator daily in prayer and searching his love letter to you. Number two Wise sounding boards. Do not skip. Who do you trust that you can mull this over with? Do you have a friend? Do you have a mastermind or a coach? I have all. All three and my coach in particular really helped me to come to this next step. Number three journaling or typing to process. Do not skip. Maybe you don't like to write. I've said it many times. I've said it in my book. I said it in the last podcast episode on Goal Setting and planning episode 114. The tactile practice of writing out your thoughts literally helps you to process that and think of the next things to do. Maybe not that very day, maybe not the next day, but over time. If you devote time to that, you will figure it out. Number four, if it has been niggling at your gut for six to nine months, it's time to trust your gut. As I said, I've been thinking about this for six months, but it really started nine months ago when I sensed a shift in my joy. It started me on a journey to try and figure out what it was God wanted me to do next with joy. If you've read my book Emptiness Awakening, you know that the tagline is weaving the threads of your passions into purpose. When God calls you to something, he's calling you to someone. And he's not going to call you to something that doesn't bring you joy. He plants your desires. There is a reason that you have the niggling, so trust your gut. If it's been six to nine months. Number five Take the step. Just take it and see how it feels. Likely you're going to have a flooding of peace. When I say take this step, I mean make it public. Do not skip. Once you take that step, you're going to feel so light. Scripture says the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and he delights in his steps. After struggling and searching all year for my footing, I 10 XED November. I accomplished more breakthroughs and covered more ground than all the months combined or any amount of work done in a single month. I base that on the total actions accomplished, whether personal or work related, and the big decisions that I was previously afraid to make. I won't share all of my 10x decisions and accomplishments for November because some of them are personal, but here are a few I announced a move away from Instagram coaching. I decided to rebrand and rename this podcast and build a new website. I attended a retreat called the Christian Communicators Collective in Myrtle Beach. Highly recommend and received. Instead of giving or promoting myself in my business there, I received two major personal breakthroughs and listener. Personal breakthroughs are just as important as creative or work related breakthroughs because they are intertwined. I secured a venue for our September Empty Nest Entrepreneur Retreat. I let go most monthly duties to serve my family and home and celebrate birthdays in early Christmas. This means I did not do 10 Black Friday emails. I did not promote anything on Black Friday and I have done that for the last five years. It felt great.

And lastly, I found and committed to a writer mastermind. This is where I'm going in 2025. I'm pursuing writing and traditional publishing. I feel at peace and free. God is calling me to my purpose, peace, joy and wisdom to minister to others. I want to be wise like Daniel and help guide people. Did you know that Daniel was instrumental in helping King Cyrus make the laws and decrees for bringing the Israelites back to Jerusalem and rebuilding? He was excellent and full of wisdom. Read Daniel. You'll be blessed. Dan Sullivan says we need to get good at moving toward chosen goals, even when it's emotionally difficult. You acknowledge and accept your emotions, but they don't control you. Becoming more psychologically flexible enables you to expand and grow emotionally and to live a more committed and congruent life, even when it's hard. My 2 year old grandson processes his emotions verbally back better than any 2 year old I've ever met in my life. It's hard, he says. Frustrated, he says change is hard. Sometimes it feels like we're quitting or not carrying out our God calling. But here's the thing to ask yourself. Are you quitting on God? Are you still walking with him and seeking Him? If so, you're on the right track. If not, it's time to check yourself before you wreck yourself. As my 8 year old granddaughter says, grandkids can be very wise. I don't fully have all the answers, but what I do know is I'm building a new website and rebranding. Since I've shared my pivot, I've heard from several women who are transitioning too. They've felt that niggling for quite some time and know their ministry was for the current phase but not the next. And here's the thing about laying something down, it leaves room for someone else to pick it up. Don't hold your baby tightly in your fist. Just like letting our kids leave home, we must learn to let go in life. If you think about it, life is all about goodbyes.

Goodbyes are hard. My husband just left for a week long hunting trip to Texas. Now I like my space, but I don't like him gone that long.

As I climbed the steps to my bedroom that first dark winter night, having locked the doors, set the House Alone alarm, and turned off exactly three sets of outdoor Christmas lights, two Christmas trees and a handful of battery operated candles, I thought of my mom next door in her apartment all alone, carrying on life after saying goodbye to dad. My heart goes out to her as she does all these tasks each night. Goodbyes often contain grief, but also in most cases, goodbyes leave room for peace, joy and growth. God readies us for goodbyes by giving us signs. My dad's goodbye sign showed up 10 years prior to his heavenly promotion. After emergency surgery and a subsequent accident that almost took his life, resulting in rapid decline in mental and physical health, I signed Medical Power of Attorney and became his health care advocate and caregiving overseer. I had glimpses of my former dad, the man I had always known, but he never fully became the same again. When he passed, the goodbye was hard, but it was time. I know I'll see my dad in heaven, fully restored to health, his sense of humor intact, and he'll be better off than my current 60 years. Dad was 69 when these signs began, which puts another point into perspective and that is this. We never know how long we have. I mentioned that I just turned 60. I've always wanted to write and publish books and I have started, but I've always wanted to pursue the traditional route. So if not now. When two ex entrepreneurs think they need to get all their ducks in a row before they can start taking more time off. Research shows that women ages 50 to 80 are in their most productive years. That means I have 20 more to publish books there's one more thing we must remember when considering a change, and that is our families. My family comes first. If I don't have time for my husband, kids or grandkids, then I'm as a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal. I recently took a quiz walking me through my next steps and one of the questions was what are you unwilling to give up? When I honestly answered it was time with family and writing and publishing books, that was telling. It meant I was willing to give up Authentic Online Marketing in its current phase, which is teaching and coaching Instagram and email marketing for the first time in five years. Authentic Online Marketing School won't open its doors come January.

Dan Sullivan says tightly scheduled entrepreneurs cannot transform themselves.

Lastly, let me leave you with this thought. If you are considering a pivot or quitting or laying something down, or maybe it's just how do I do all of this? And what is there that I could possibly let go of? Here's the thought. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.

In today's episode, I shared my journey of embracing change and quitting what no longer serves my purpose. Here again are the five steps to determine when it's the right time to pivot or start fresh. 1. Engage in prayer and scripture 2. Consult wise sounding boards 3. Utilize journaling or typing to process your thoughts. 4. Trust your gut if it's been niggling at you for six to nine months and five Take the step and make it public. By doing these five things, I was able to improve my quality of life, gain greater peace, and pursue a lifelong dream. If you're thinking it's time to pivot or let something go, let me just encourage you to let go of old identities and embrace new callings. Thank you for joining me. And thank you, Shelly Hitz, for the opportunity to share with your listeners. Keep seeking the joy and purpose that only Christ offers for your own journey.

If you're ready to take a step of faith and finally finish your book, we have a few ways we can help you. First of all, you can join our Free Writing Week challenge to create a writing habit in just 15 minutes a day. Thousands of writers have taken this over the years and it is incredible the progress that you'll see. So join us at Writing Week. And again, this is completely free. Inside our Book Writing Lab workshop you can choose your book topic, write an outline and create a writing plan in just 90 minutes so you'll finally feel confident that you'll actually finish your book. Get started@bookwritinglab.com and finally you can get more support and personalized feedback from myself and our team by joining Christian Book Academy. And because the honest truth is most writers stay stuck and never finish their first draft. But inside Christian Book Academy we help you partner with God to write your book so you can become a published author. So finally ditch your self doubt and take a step of faith so you can finish your book. Join Christian book academy@christianbookacademy.com and get 50% off your first month by using the coupon code Purchase Podcast at checkout There's a special coupon code for our podcast listeners. We love you so come on over to ChristianBookAcademy.com use the coupon code podcast and we look forward to working closely with you. Would you like more? If you are enjoying this podcast but want more, I have something exciting to share with you. We have released what's called a private podcast. So a private podcast you will not find by searching an apple you can. You have to know specifically how to subscribe to it. It's more private and exclusive and it just can be more relaxed behind the scenes. And my new private podcast is called Hits Blitz and it's wisdom for writers that you're going to learn from my 18 plus years of experience in publishing and online marketing so that you can move forward and in God's call to write. I am best known for injecting energy and enthusiasm into everything I do and inspiring those around me to take action. So I encourage you to listen in to this exclusive private podcast. It is free. 100% free. You don't have to pay for it and be prepared to be inspired by my next Hits Blitz. So you can sign up@trainingauthors.com hit hits blitz and if you have any other writing friends that you think could benefit from it, definitely share it with them. They can go to the Same link training authors.com forward/hits blitz to get access. Again, this is a private podcast so you cannot get access to it any other way. It's completely free. All you have to do is sign up and then you'll get all the information on how to add it to your podcast player of choice. So I can't wait for you to join me over there. I share a lot of things behind the scenes and more content, just in a real time basis. So it's more like chatting with a friend or following someone on stories on social media. Except you don't have to get caught up in any of the algorithms. You'll just have this in your podcast player and be able to listen in wherever you're at, whatever you're doing. Some of the listeners told me this week that they were listening while waiting in the Target parking lot, while brushing their teeth. You can fit this into the pockets of time that you have, so I hope you'll join me. Come over to trainingauthors.com hitsblitz.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Kingdom Writers. We believe that you, as a Christian writer, have a specific role to play play in the Kingdom of Heaven to impact lives for eternity.

And because of this, we choose to pour out our lives into encouraging writers like you to not only tell your stories, but to take the courageous step of self publishing your stories in books that will outlive you and leave behind a powerful legacy. This podcast is sponsored by Christian Book Academy where we help you give birth to your books. We invite you to join our community of Kingdom Writers.