This Triggered My Fear Last Week

Welcome to the Author Audience show, the podcast that helps you reach more people with your message. Create a book, connect with your audience, change lives. Here's your host, Shelly Hitz.

Welcome to Author Audience, where I'm on a mission to help you reach more people with your message. It's time to let your light shine. And in this episode, I'm going to talk about something that triggered my fear. Let me Last week, last weekend, my husband CJ and I were out on the trails for a bike run. I bike, he runs. It's the only way I can keep up with him. He's very fast and he's a very good runner. But it's so fun. We've been enjoying our little adventures out on the Colorado trails. Well, we were looking for a new trail in Boulder, Colorado and unfortunately we got lost trying to find it. So we were winding around on different neighborhood roads trying to find where the trail started. I was riding along a road in a neighborhood that didn't have a shoulder. Plus there were cars parked along the street and there was no shoulders. So when I had to pass a car, and especially when it was around a curve, it put me in a very dangerous situation. The cars coming behind me on the curve wouldn't be able to see me until last minute. And all of a sudden it triggered my fear. You see, my cousin Adam was killed while riding his bicycle when he was just a teenager. He was hit by a car while riding in a neighborhood close to his home. Now I know his situation and my situation were very different. He was riding at dusk. I think there was a little bit of rain out on the roads and there were some other things going on. But still there was enough similarities that it triggered my fear back to the surface again. The emotions raged and I froze. It was like I got paralyzed at that moment. And I literally had tears in my eyes just thinking about Adam's death again. So I took a deep breath and I made a decision. I decided to cross the street to ride on the sidewalk instead. After a few minutes, I calmed down enough and I told CJ what happened. And then before long, we finally found the trail. Woo hoo. It's like, yes, we finally found the trail. But still, that experience reminded me how current events can often trigger emotions from the past and and even paralyze us as an author. You may have had a failed book launch in the past and now you're afraid to try another book launch again. You may have dozens of manuscripts started and some even finished, but the fear of what others will think keeps Them unpublished and gathering dust on your hard drive. I know many of you are in that situation because I hear it from you. I hear you. You know, you have all of this information, these manuscript, but there's that fear that keeps you paralyzed. Or maybe you hear the words of someone from your past telling you that you're not good enough or will never succeed. It could have been a teacher or a family member or a friend. In fact, I had an Author Audience Academy member tell me this week she had that same experience of people telling her, you know, writing, you know, you can't make money at that, you can't succeed at that.

And those voices replay in her mind over and over and over again. But whatever it is for you, I want you to take a deep breath and reflect on what triggers the fear within you. Then you know, you have to acknowledge that feeling, feel your feelings. But I want you to consider looking at your situation with new eyes again. Just like when I was sitting there kind of paralyzed on that road, I had to look at my situation and say, okay, what are my options? So ask yourself, what are your options? What would be possible if you tried again? Who could you help? If you finished your book and actually published it out to the world, who could you help? What would be possible?

I truly believe mindset issues are at the root of what holds us back when it comes to writing, self publishing and marketing our books. And that's why I address mindset within my coaching program, Author Audience Academy. I help you deal with the feelings of overwhelm and encourage you through your fears. You know, I provide the support and accountability you need to cross the finish line. I even pray for each of my members by name every week. But I can't do the work for you. I can only do my own work. I can only look inside my own self and say, what is holding me back right now? What are the fears I'm facing right now? Because I'm facing them too. I will tell you. This latest book project has been bringing a lot of stuff to the surface. And to share my story and be vulnerable in these ways is freaking me out. And I have to just stop and breathe and reflect and do my own work to move forward. And the book will be published soon. It will be available soon. And so praise God for that. But in closing today, what's holding you back? Today I'm available to help you work through the barriers you face inside my private Facebook group for Author Audience Academy. I have reopened the doors and you can join@authoraudienceacademy.com. i just want you to know as well that you're not alone. And I want you to know there is another way. Just like when I crossed the street and rode my bike on the other side of the sidewalk out of harm's way, there's another option for you. Pray, reflect, and make the decision to cross the street. And if Author Audience Academy is the right fit for you, you can join us@authoraudienceacademy.com now, this is a pretty deep topic. I talked about the tragic death of my cousin Adam, and to be honest, I'm getting tears in my eyes right now. It's so easy to have those emotions come so fresh to the surface. And I know many of you have grieved a loved one. So I just want to end with this encouragement that emotions are not bad. Sometimes our culture, sometimes our families, sometimes our job. You know, they tell us emotions are bad. Stuff them, don't pay attention to them, don't let them out, don't cry, don't show that you're weak. But emotions are actually healthy. It's healthy. God has given us emotions. Now we're not to be controlled by them, but.

They'Re okay. And, you know, it's amazing how easily our emotions can get triggered. You could get triggered potentially by a simple post you see on social media that often happens to me with my grief over my miscarriage and never being able to have children. You know, I'll see someone who is pregnant or they're posting a belly picture, and one day it's fine, the next day I. I'm, like, in tears and it triggers me again. So it might just be a simple social media post. It could be a song that you hear. There are certain songs that take me back to high school and take me back to a time when one of my boyfriends sexually abused me. And, you know, it could just be a song that I hear, or it could even be a certain smell, something that triggers, like, there's certain smells, like, with the hospital. I mean, I worked in a hospital setting and in healthcare for 12 years as a physical therapist, but my dad had a coma, and he was in a hospital and in rehab and nursing homes for months. And some of the smells from those particular situations can trigger me sometimes on, you know, just the grief of what we've lost. My dad is still living. He's still walking, talking, but he's different, and he has permanent damage. And so, you know, it can be many things that can trigger you. I'm not a counselor, but I'm Just sharing with you that you know what, These things are real. And it can happen to us as authors as well, but it also happens to us personally. My cousin Adam died almost 20 years ago, and yet I can still feel that grief and pain rise to the surface on occasion, just like I did when I was riding my bike the other day. It's important to feel the pain, grieve, and even get outside help when needed. You know, it's not a weakness to get counseling. I've gotten counseling with Christian counselors many times, and it has helped me to get to where I am today, to overcome the things that were blocking me. And I really, truly believe I wouldn't be where I am today as an author and business owner had I not dealt with some of those emotional things in the past. You may think, oh, Shelley, there's no connection. But I do think there is a connection. And I think we can get stuck because we're not dealing with these things. And so it's okay. Like, if you need outside help, I definitely encourage you to get that. My aunt has said that she has been able to get through the pain of losing a child, but will never fully get over it.

She's been able to get through it, but she will never fully get over it. I don't understand what it would be like to lose a child that's in his teenage years, but I've lost a child in my womb. I've had a miscarriage. And I understand that. I mean, there's moments that I still really, really struggle. And I'm sure many of you can relate to her statement as well. But I want you to know that there's hope that it's okay to feel your emotions, to move on, to grieve, and that you're not alone. So I just want to close with a prayer for any of you that may be struggling. We're coming into a holiday season, and I know the holidays are especially difficult for those that have lost loved ones. My cousin Adam was killed right around Thanksgiving, and that's when our family would always meet. And for years, Thanksgiving was such a difficult, difficult time because he wasn't there. And we lost my other cousin Krista in a car accident as well, and she wasn't there. And it's just. I understand how the holidays can be so difficult. So let me just pray for you, and then I will just sign off for it today. So, Lord, I just pray for every person right now listening to this podcast. I thank you for them. I thank you for their life. I thank you for the calling you have on them. And I just pray if somebody, something just was brought to the surface in their own heart as they're listening, if they're grieving, if they've lost someone, I just pray that you would bring your comfort to them. I pray that they would open their heart to you. They would be able to feel their feelings, to grieve in a healthy way, to seek outside help if they need that, whatever it is that they need to do right now. I just pray maybe they just need to rest in your presence, rest in your arms, rest in your love. Lord, I just pray for them. And I pray for each person that struggling right now as we go into the holiday season. Pray that you would give them hope. I pray that you would give them love. And I pray that you would just carry them through this difficult time. I pray this in Jesus, wonderful name. Amen. So thank you again for joining me for another episode of Author Audience. I appreciate you. Let me know that you're listening by leaving me a comment in the review section. I love hearing from you and I will see you next time. Buh. Bye.

Thanks for listening to this episode of the Author Audience Show. Connect with us online@authoraudience.com where you'll find all the resources mentioned in today's episode. While you're there, grab Shelley's free video training on how to write and publish your book using her Six Step Ascent method. Join us again next week to learn how to reach your audience with your message.