Sidhika Goenka explains how small frustrations pile up until a child's minor misbehavior triggers a parent's outburst. She describes the pattern with examples like spilled milk and missed homework, then offers a nightly reset: affirmations, mindfulness, and starting fresh each day to break the cycle.
Hi, I am Sidhika Goenka, a strengths-focused psychologist and a parenting coach, and today we're talking about emotions. Are you at your tipping point? Now, over the last few months, I'm sure there have been a lot of situations that have really agitated you, irritated you, and upset you. What do we do? Do we treat each situation independently, or do we accumulate them all together? Together. Let's say your son dropped a glass of milk yesterday and today he refuses to do his homework, and day before he didn't want to have a bath. What do I do? So today I may say something like, "Yesterday you dropped your milk, day before you didn't have a bath, and today you're not doing your homework. So many things are coming together. Why are you like this?" Right? I accumulate all the situations together and make him sound like he's just So disrespectful, irresponsible, and doesn't listen to me. These are all my emotions that are coming together and making him feel like he's not listening to me. What is the result? I shout at him and he says something like, Mama, you're always screaming at me. Mama, you're always shouting at me. You're always angry with me. But he doesn't do what I want him to do, and then I start feeling guilty. Now being stable with your emotions is the key to handle parenting, to handle yourself as a parent and handle your child. If you think about it, how many times do you feel that you're just one step closer to tipping, that you've had enough? There's so many situations that have triggered you, that have made you angry, upset, anxious, fearful, depressed. And when all these situations come together, when you have not released yourself from these emotions, all these situations and all these emotions have come together. Once they're all together, it takes only one little argument or one incident of disobeying or one tantrum of your child to just tip you and make you really, really angry and make you really, really mad and say the things that you might regret later. You don't want to be at the borderline. You don't want to be at the tipping point. The only way to avoid and to stop being at the tipping point is to handle yourself, is to be stable and look after your emotions. Every day you need to come back to baseline. Every day you need to start afresh by looking after your emotions, because otherwise if you start with 5%, 10%, 20%, 35%, you keep getting angry and angry and angry and angry, then you're already at the tipping point. You're already very, very angry. Then any little thing or big thing done by your child will cause an emotional reaction. So here, the first thing you need to do is clean your slate. Every night you need to say, this is a fresh day, this is a fresh start. Clean yourself every single day. Handle your emotions every day. Look after your mental health every day to avoid anxiety, to avoid depression. Look after your mental health by Affirming yourself positively, by saying positive things to yourself every day, by looking after your emotional health. If you feel you're really reaching the tipping point, seek a counselor. Talk about your fear, talk about your anxiety, talk about what you're feeling. But right now, you need to be stable, you need to be emotionally secure, and the best way to do that is every day. Take each day as it comes. Handle your emotions each day by being positive, by forgetting the past experiences, and every day live in the now. Don't relate anything to your past incidents. I hope you're not at the tipping point, and if you are, right now tell yourself, "I don't want to be at the tipping point," and start over. Look after your emotional health because this is what will define your relationship with your children, with your family, and with yourself. Have a mindful day. Bye.
