Disha’s son was unable to express.. now he’s responsible & deeply connected with her.

Welcome, welcome, welcome, Disha. You are one of our old Diamond Mothers. Could you please give us an introduction about yourself and talk about what problem led you to, you know, start with Super Parenting Hub?

I'm Disha Kedia. I'm a mother of a 13-year-old and I'm a practicing chartered accountant. Apart from work and everything, I have a very small family. It's just us. And what happens is when it's just you There are pluses and minuses both in having them and not having them. So there's no really guidance. So you are just— it's as if you are growing together with your spouse, and then you have a child, and you are responsible for the child and the house and everything. It gets very overwhelming. So what led me to you was the fact that I thought I'm doing a superb job as a mom. You know, I was trying to do everything what was possible. And I realized that when as a kid he was like super obedient. I mean, I, I could just tell him stand up and he would stand up. I was just sitting down, he would sit down. I said eat this, he would eat that with no, you know, he was obviously, he, everybody, all kids look after their parents. And it was that I was his ideal, so he would never question me. But obviously as he was growing older, he had a thought process and he would then you know, come back, but to say, no, I don't want to do this. And, and that was like a, you know, how can you say that? I mean, you are supposed to do it. And that was one of the reasons. Second was obviously he was becoming a teenager, I was heading menopause, hormones were all over the place. So I am irritated, he's irritated, we are not being able to communicate, you know. Then that was an eye-opener where I shouted at him and my blood pressure went really high. And so then I realized, and then there was something like one day he came back from school and he was like, he was not going to, he was not talking to me. So I asked him what happened. So he's like, if I tell you, you'll get angry. I'm like, he already has decided that I'm going to be angry. So it was something that, you know, he would not be able to communicate with me I did not want that to happen. So I want to be his friend, obviously, but I am his mother, so I do need to guide him. That's when, and it just happened, I just, you know, you were, you just fell into my lap through social media. I was not even seeking it, but it was something that, you know, I just, I just saw your ad or your, maybe your Facebook, uh, something, and I was like, oh, this is what I need. I need to speak to her. So that got me to you. So that's it. I'm very, very happy because my son has also commented that it has done wonders.

Wow. So could you explain the wonders that it's done, please?

One, for once, I don't have blood pressure problems, which is like amazing because the doctors had put me on medication. And I was like, no, I'm not going to be on medication because once you start medication, something like blood pressure, it is going to be for life. And you were therapeutic for me. Subconscious, I keep remembering what you've said and how I should implement it in how I think or what I say, when I need to be stern, when I need to be okay, I can, you know, give a little leeway, I can be fun. So for that, I was surprised also that I did not— I slowly weaned off the blood pressure medicine and I don't need it anymore.

Wow.

I'm able to get— I'm able to control my temper. I do get angry, obviously. Anger is an emotion which we all have to feel.

Absolutely.

But at the same time, I don't let it, you know, escalate to that level where it just, you know, controls me instead of me controlling it. Second, yes, my son and my husband, they both commented that I have grown as a person.

And how— what do you say, um, you know, in terms of communication, what do you feel about that?

So Like my son is like, his IQ is very high, it's very intelligent boy, but his EQ was something, you know, the emotional quotient, that was something I was struggling with because he was an emotional boy and if any used to start saying something, he would just break down and start to cry. Now when he comes from back, back from school and if he has something which is, was difficult for him to deal with in school and he's crying, Now it's been now what, 6, 5, 6 months with you. Now I'm not reacting that way. I'm actually thinking, okay, fine, like anger is an emotion, crying is also a way for him to, you know, release his thing. So let him cry. I would tell him, okay, fine, you're crying, I understand, but how can I help? Yeah, you know, that was something which you taught me. How can I help to make you feel better?

What is it? You remember? Wonderful.

Which Yes, that was something which stuck by me, like, you know, what can I do to make the situation better?

So how do you think your child felt when you did this with him?

I think he now feels as if he's being heard, you know, like, as if it's obvious. Every— all of us may love our children to bits, but it's sometimes the child— children feel 'Oh, she doesn't love me enough,' or 'She said this because,' you know. So I feel now that element has— is, you know, it's not there anymore. He knows, he realizes he's loved, he's cherished, and he also wants to do better. So it's like I said, he's very intelligent. So as far as his academics is concerned, it's not something we as parents are really worried about. But as a human being, as how he interacts with people, how he talks, how he can, you know, communicate, he is working on it now, which that is something which I feel he's getting it because he also commented that, you know, there was one of your exercises where we had to say 3 things about each other and, you know, 3 things, something like that. So he said one of them was that, okay, you make the mistake. You get angry, but you've realized that problem and you're willing to work on it, which is something he appreciated. So, like, so for sometimes, like, when he makes a mistake, I turn around and tell him the same thing. I said, remember, you had said this about me, so you made a mistake. As long as you realize you made a mistake and you're willing to work on it, you will make them again. Mistakes are not something you can avoid. You will someday make another mistake. But as long as you're willing to work on them, that is it. So I think now he's much more— obviously he has grown in age and he's matured, but I think he feels very loved.

Wonderful.

The fact that I'm going to make an effort to, you know, improve on how I am a mother to him.

Wow, wonderful. So Disha, um, who would you recommend a parenting program like this for?

Everyone. Everyone should join this. Everyone who's a parent should join this. Not just parents, actually. If I mean, you're— even though you started, or you— your course started, or it appealed because I'm a mother, but I think it is, it is not only restricted to how I behave with my child, it's also just— it's, it's how I behave with my spouse. How are we with my friend? So it's like, it's like therapy, right? And this day, in this day and age, everybody needs therapy. So, and it is not something that, okay, I have to go to a counselor, I have to need to, you know, I have to take medication. No, it is just talking. I mean, you just, you just talk, you give a little bit, some exercises, you give some techniques. But that's it, and it's on us to do it, right? You're not forcing us to do anything. You're just suggesting, you do this and this is how you would feel. So I have been recommending you to everyone I speak to. In fact, they think I'm your brand ambassador.

If you were to just describe your son and yourself in the last 6 months through activation of Inner Compass, describing him in 3 adjectives and describing yourself in 3 adjectives, what would they be?

I would definitely come. Okay. I am, I think, happier. And I am very proud. For my son, he is also, I think, happier than what he was before. He is being able to communicate much better. Just overall, he's developing superbly. And I, I do feel that a lot goes to you for that, because even though actively I have not been so involved, but like I said, passively, it's like, yeah, it's behind my head, it's always happening, you know, super moms. This is the script, this is the script you need to talk in. So that is there. And one thing which you said in the beginning, you know, that probably the first class that I had joined, and that stuck with me like glued was that, you know, you said something like when you— when we as parents, if we start— when we start talking to a teenager and if we are angry, their just mind shuts down and they're not listening. So I was like, oh my God, I was angry and I said so many good things to him, you know, like things which I want him to learn, but he didn't even hear me. So how do I expect him to actually absorb? I like, it's the way I have to say it. So that he understands and he learns. So that, that got stuck with me, and that is what actually made me realize that I need to be in this group.

This is so wonderful. I'm so glad you're remembering these things, and you're really, um, you know, you're applying it with your 13-year-old, and you just feel so much more fulfilled, right, as a mother, when you can do, you know, whatever it is that you're doing. If you can do that, you feel content, because I truly believe As kids grow up, we can't really rely on other counselors and teachers to help our kids. We have to be the contact point, you know, we have to be the first people to kind of connect with them, to help them, and then everything else comes later, right? So you are the most important person in your child's life, Disha. Thank you so much, Disha. Thank you, thank you. It was lovely chatting with you, and I'm so proud of everything that you're doing. Thank you.