Why do you need a COACH ???

Welcome to our series of making you emotionally independent. I am Sidhika Goenka. I am your emotional wellness coach, a positive parenting expert, an NLP practitioner, and a mompreneur success coach. Always remember, in your success Life's Mind, and today we're again taking up another question that will help you navigate your emotions. I hope all the emotions that we're talking about so far are helping you take actions and is helping you feel a lot better, calmer, and stronger. Because always remember, whatever you are looking for outside is within you. All the self-help books that you read, all the movies that you watch, all the videos that you see about self-help or positive self-talk are all getting immersed and absorbed in your subconscious. So do try and apply all the learnings from our video today. I'm going to start with our next question. Hello, ma'am.

Hi. So, uh, my question is, how do we know that we need a coach? I mean, sometimes we don't understand that we need somebody to, you know, tell that, that you need a coach, you need a mentor, you know. So how do we understand at what time we'll get to know that we really need a coach and we have to get some support?

That's a wonderful question, honestly, because, you know, so many times we're getting all the help that we need from our relatives, from our friends, from our colleagues, and we don't think we really need a coach because we, we have enough support and help around us to help us understand our emotions. But I'll tell you what, there are two things to this. The first thing is, when you are spending time with your friends or colleagues or family members and you're talking about your problems or your worries, what you're actually doing, you are saturating them. So after a point of time, they will become quite exhausted exhausted and mentally drained out because they are feeling exhausted as well. Since they are not professionals, they are not equipped with the right resources to help you. So you will really enjoy their support. They can be a great listening ear, they can be a great source of, um, comfort and support, but in terms of professional tools and strategies to help you really encounter your challenges, they may not be of the best help because they will feel emotionally drained out, they will feel tired, number one. Number two, a lot of times what a professional coach can do, family members cannot do. So they may validate your problems, they may understand, they can give you a listening ear. What they cannot give you is a roadmap, is a professional vision, is the kind of emotional support that a coach will give you in terms of everyday practice. Practices. Yes. So you will be draining them out also emotionally, and you will not be getting the adequate tools and techniques that you need in your toolbox to live the life that you really want. Hence, it's important to not just rely on family members or friends for emotional coaching. Definitely, if you have problems, you must share it with them, but realize that they also have their limitations. They may also get drained out by your problems. So first think about that. And nobody wants to hear just negativity because that's quite overwhelming.

Yes.

Oh, it's always good to seek a professional who is trained to handle negativity. Let me tell you, when you seek a coach, coaches are really trained to not let others' or clients' negativity sad vibes or, you know, negative situation affect them. Coaches have a full code of honor and a training that they have to go through to really understand how to block others' negative energies. So coaches have to practice different types of techniques to protect their aura and to be 100% present with each client. That's an art that a coach requires. Also, when you really know that you need coaching is when you feel there is a filter or a past experience or a mind block that is really not letting you perform your 100%. That is when you definitely need to seek coaching. When you feel like you want to do more, you know, you have a big vision, you have a high goal, You want to be emotionally present and there, but because of your past experiences, you're unable to let go. When you're unable to let go, when you're unable to really understand why you're not enjoying the moment or enjoying the relationship, you need a coach, number one. Number two, when you have lots of goals for yourself and you don't have the roadmap for those goals. A coach will give you clear direction, even for your professional and personal goals. Coach will give you that on how to conquer and achieve each step by step, go through the ladder and go to the highest goal. Number 3, it's important to understand when you have a lot of feelings of self-doubt When you have feelings of failure, when your automatic thoughts are negative, pulling-down thoughts, when you naturally think of the worst situation that could happen to you, that's when you again need coaching. When a situation comes up, so for example, if you get fired from a job and you think of the worst possible situation, oh my God, I'm fired, I will never get another job. That is not true, but our brain makes it true for us. Our brain makes us believe that the worst possible thing could happen to us. That's when you need a professional coach to help you understand and differentiate reality from your assumption. What is real and what your mind is processing are very different. Now what a coach does here is a coach makes your processing more productive. Oh, yeah, more beneficial, so that it serves your purpose and it's closer to reality. A lot of times we have a lot of negative self-limiting beliefs that come from our past experiences that are actually not serving us, that are pulling us down. And every time a negative situation happens, our negative mind that is conditioned to think in a particular way that is not serving us validates that and says, yes, that's true, you are good for nothing. Yes, that's true, you are not trustworthy. Yes, that's true, you do not deserve the best. Whenever a mind says that, we think it's true and we start believing our mind. The more we start believing our mind, the more we become underconfident, incapable, negative, and we lose trust and belief in ourselves. That is the right time for an emotional wellness coach to help you comprehend your emotions, to help you and tell you that what you are processing is different from what is real. You are worrying about something that will never happen to you. That's when you need a coach. Now honestly, in today's world, we have a lot of information. We have— my library is full of more than 10,000 books on self-help and life coaching. We have videos every day to help us think positive, to give us positive affirmations, to help us really, you know, find solutions to our problems. So we have a lot of self-help. But I'll tell you what, when you are just reading you will only process or you will only retain hardly 3 or 5%. That is what I have noticed in my life. I read a lot, but I don't retain so much. I may remember it, but I don't apply it as much. But when I actually have somebody who's teaching me, who is applying it, who's giving me action, who's telling me today this is the action, tomorrow that is the action, I am able to retain faster, I'm able to remember faster, and I'm also able to teach others like my family and my kids faster. So self-help books, self-help videos, self-help courses are a long way to success and happiness. They are a way, they will teach you, they will give you success, they will give you peace of mind, they will give you happiness, but it will take more time and it will be less money. I agree, it will be very less money but lots more time. But if you are like me, who wants faster growth, long-term happiness, who wants to train their automatic thoughts so that every time any negative situation, anything comes into your life, your first response is, what's better in this? What is more in this? How can it get better? What is the silver lining in this? If these are the questions that you want to ask yourself and you want to do it in a shorter period of time, if you want to process your emotions, succeed faster, grow more, and make positive thinking a very natural way of life— accelerated learning, fast growth, quick happiness, a way of life— only happens with somebody who is taking, who is actually noting down your everyday progress and who you are accountable to, right? Now, even in school, when you are studying on your own, you don't process so fast. But when your mother takes up your work, when your mother takes up your notes before the exam, you retain faster. You're more enthusiastic to answer to your mother. You're more excited to participate. And in the day of your exam, the next day, you actually perform better because your mother asked you, right? There was a revision that was happening.

In.

That's what coaches do. They help you grow at your own pace with their professional tools and techniques, understanding your emotions but also telling you where you are not actually seeing reality, where you are processing reality negatively. They tell you that. First, you understand and identify. Second, you reflect on everything that has happened Third, you take small steps to first improve the current situation. Fourth, you actually take large steps to understand your mindset and improve your mindset to growth. Fifth, you take a decision. So it's a full 5-step procedure that a coach makes you do. That's why you need long-term coaching. That's why it's is not just a one-day session. It's a commitment to growth. It's a commitment to love yourself more. It's a commitment to understand what you are seeking outside is within you. You won't believe it, you know, honestly, all coaches, or most of the coaches that I know, have a higher coach because we're all determined to grow. So I have a coach in the US who helps me bring the best version of myself. You know, I may be good but they help me become much, much, much better. Certain habits that I need, like let's say waking up at 5 AM or reading books every day or doing affirmations every day, they help me be accountable and responsible for my habits. City is huge, our capacity is immense, and right now, whatever I have noticed, we are not even using 40-50% of our potential and capacity. We are not using our 100% potential, so we are using 40-50. And if somebody can guide us and help us get more growth mindset, understand our emotions, reduce our negative feelings, and teach us that we are responsible for what we are thinking, what we are feeling, and how we are acting, then success, happiness, and peace of mind will come very quickly. There is no wait. It's not a long path anymore. It becomes very short. It becomes very clear. And it becomes very focused. But invest in your own personal growth, because what you have, only that you can offer to others, right? If I have happiness, I will offer happiness to others. If I have negativity, what will I offer to others? Negativity. Negativity. If I have frustration, what will I offer to others? Frustration. So honestly, if I can afford it, I must take coaching for myself So I can bring out the best in myself and I can also bring out the best in my children, in my husband, in my work, in the overall environment. It's my responsibility. If I can afford it, I should invest in it. And if I bring out the best in myself, automatically other people around me will thrive, will flourish, will be nurtured by my thoughts, my emotions, and my actions. So honestly, if you are not seeking coaching, you are doing injustice to yourself. Yourself. Take a coach once a week. Coaching is a must. Just like you have to go to a dentist for specialization for your teeth, just like you have to go to a dermatologist for skin, similarly you have to go to an emotional wellness coach for your emotional well-being so that you don't bring your work home, so that you don't bring your stresses home, so that you are present when you are with your children. You are 100% present when you are at your office. You are 100% you're 100% present. When you are having fun, you're 100% present. For 100% presence, for always thinking of growth, having your automatic thoughts conditioned positively, and for living a very peaceful, happy, and togetherness life, full of togetherness, united life, a life free of unwanted thoughts, a life free of unnecessary emotions. Yes, need coaching.

And nowadays few people are like, uh, there are myths, you know, those, those people who are completely shattered and just don't know anything, just they, you know, go to coaches and all. But nowadays it's like everybody, even if the small problem comes, we should go to coaches and all.

Absolutely. Not short term. It is not if I have a problem I need to go to a coach, if I have a parenting problem I need to go to a coach. I need to go to a coach. If I'm depressed, I need to go to a coach. No, that is not coaching. In fact, that is when you go to a psychologist or a mental health counselor or psychiatrist when the problem gets worse. Coaching is before any of these problems occur. Coaching is actually creating an aura around you, protecting yourself before anything very life-shattering happens. Coaching is simple life skills, simple success skills, simple happiness skills that you are inculcating in yourself through a coach before a crisis happens. Coaching is preparing you for all this. You can handle it independently, beautifully, successfully without needing a coach at that time. Do not make the mistake of going to a coach after the problem has happened. Go to a coach before a problem arises. Places. So you have the right toolbox. I call it an emotional toolbox. Don't wait for a challenge, don't wait for a disaster. Be the person who is always ready to grow. Yes, not the person who's stagnating and happy where they are. Let me give you one more example before we end. The Bhagavad Gita Ji, or any manual of life. Okay, so 15 years back I started reading, reading the Bhagavad Gita, and when I was reading the Gita Ji I would read it every day. I read it for about 2 years and I didn't feel any change in myself. I felt when I was happy, I was very good. I was feeling good, I was happy. But when I was feeling upset or when somebody else hurt me, when I was angry, I was not able to control my emotions. I was not able to be patient. When I would get angry, I would burst. So one day I sat and I thought to myself, I have been reading the Gita Ji for 2 years and the Bhagavad Gita Ji teaches teaches you calmness, patience, teaches you the real truth of life. So why in negative, why in vulnerable situations am I not able to control myself? In good situations I'm happy, but in negative situations I cannot control myself. Why? I actually asked my mentor this. I asked my teacher, and my teacher told me, Sidhika Goenka Goenka, take a guru, and under that guru Guruji, study. I did that and I realized in less than 6 months everything that the Guruji was teaching, that my coach or mentor was teaching, I was able to apply that in situations that were not good, which is what I wanted. In happy situations, we'll always be happy, right? But my question to you is, what if you are not succeeding in life? Then will you be able to be happy? Will you be able to be successful? Will you be able to grow? Yes, if you have a coach, you can still grow.

This is excellent. I mean, we really do need coaches. Now I can like figure it out when is the right time to, you know, seek her help.

Don't wait. There is never a right time for coaching. Yeah, right time is now. So if you want to grow, Do seek guidance. A weekly guidance plan will help you become a better version of who you are.

It's like prevention is better than cure.

Absolutely, prevention is better than cure. Thank you for your trust in me. Thank you for really putting your faith in me because I know it's not easy to seek somebody and tell them I need help. Yeah, but do it before it's too late. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you.